


You Are Not Alone

by dancerjb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:52:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 92,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18790612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancerjb/pseuds/dancerjb
Summary: After a concert in New York Tommy has an accident that will lead to a big change in his and his friends' lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All, wow can't believe it's been over a year since I posted anything here. Life has been crazy but good. This will be my last Adam/Tommy fic for a while as I want to have a shot at writing an original story. I may come back later and do more Adam/Tommy but for now enjoy this one and all comments are gratefully received.
> 
> Disclaimer - Adam and Tommy are their own people, I have just borrowed them for this story.

** PROLOGUE **

 

**Cherokee Wolf Legend**

 

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said…

“My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, doubt, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, inferiority, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute then asked his grandfather…

“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee replied…

“The one you feed.”

 

 

** Chapter 1 **

“Wow, that was some audience in there tonight.” Adam closed the tour bus door then leant against it, sweat trickling down his face.

The security at the venue had advised them to get back on their bus as soon as possible, the crowd were out to get a piece of any of them that lingered.

 “What was with them tonight? I’ve never seen anyone that enthusiastic for a very long time.” Isaac was wiping his face with a towel he’d managed to snag as they were escorted from the stage and out the stage door.

“I suppose you’ve heard the rumours about this place.” Everyone stopped and looked at Tommy. “Oh come on please tell me I’m not the only one who reads papers and listens to people talking?” He shook his head as he grabbed a cold beer from the fridge.

“You can’t just leave it at that TJ you’ve got to tell us what you mean.”

“Isaac, I thought you were more intelligent than that?”

“Look Ratliff, are you gonna tell us or not?”

Tommy plonked himself on the sofa, took a swig of beer then laughed. “Ok, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s heard this.” He looked at his friends all waiting eagerly for him to speak. His gaze finished at Adam who was staring at him intently. Tommy wished sometimes he wouldn’t do that, his reaction to his friend may one day give away how he really felt about him.

“Well Glitterbaby, we’re waiting.”

Tommy laughed as he took another mouthful of beer, Adam had christened him that nine years ago when he’d first played bass for him on the Glamnation tour, and it had stuck. He rubbed the cool bottle against his firey skin. “Well rumour has it that this town is home to one of the highest number of were’s on the east coast. I read an article in a magazine that Albany has more were’s per square mile than any other town within a 100 mile radius. It’s also rumoured to have more were’s than LA. And I thought LA was the place with the largest population.”

“Hang on, so what are you saying? The crowd in there were all were’s and were out for our blood?” Isaac shook his head. “Tommy Joe you read way too much crap. They just liked our music that’s all and my toned body.” Tommy choked on his beer. “What?”

“Carpenter, they couldn’t see your body hiding behind that kit. Anyway it’s Adam they’re after.” He looked across to where Adam was now sitting and smiled. He could feel his face heating up as the dark haired man winked and smiled back. There had been a spark between them for a long time but neither ever acted on it. Tommy never had the guts to admit his feelings and Adam still believed Tommy was straight.

Yes, they’d slept in the same bed, Adam holding Tommy soothing him to sleep after his father had passed away. They’d kissed on stage, but that was for the audience. What Tommy hadn’t admitted to Adam was that he wanted more of the kissing off-stage and maybe more than cuddling in bed. But Tommy hadn’t wanted to spoil their friendship, so had never told Adam he wasn’t as straight as he’d led him to believe. And the longer this had gone on the more scared Tommy had been to admit to his best friend. He didn’t want to lose that special friendship they had.

“Earth to Tommy. Hey Glitterbaby, penny for them?”

“What?...sorry…was thinking.”

“Steady TJ you’ll hurt yourself if you do that too much.” Isaac ducked as a cushion flew across the lounge area.

“Fucker!” Tommy giggled as he launched said cushion.

“Now children, we’d better change out of these sweaty clothes and get under way. Next stop New York.” Adam stood, peeling off his white shirt. Tommy watching as toned muscles rippled when Adam moved. He took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm his emotions down. Now was not the right time or place to pop a boner.

Isaac leaned close so only Tommy could hear. “When the hell are you going to admit to yourself and bossman that you have the hots for him?”

Tommy glared at his friend. “Don’t! And stop going on about it. He’s my…our boss and friend so can’t do anything even if I wanted to.”

“Come off it Ratliff, you’ve both had other partners, and they’ve never worked out. I can see how _both_ of you look at one another. You want him and he feels the same about you.”

“Isaac you’re drunk, we’re just good friends.”

“Nope, not drunk. Not even finished one bottle. If I can see it I’m sure the others can too.” He nodded in he direction of Ashley and Neil.

“M’going to shower and change. This conversation is finished.” He got up heading for the shower.

Isaac watched as his two best friends headed in opposite directions, noting Adam’s eyes following Tommy’s every move.

As Tommy let the hot water cascade over him he thought about Adam doing the same. He closed his eyes picturing a naked Adam, bubbles running over his beautiful body. He moaned as his dick jumped, his hand gently stroking it, but picturing Adam’s hand rather than his own wrapped around it.

His eyes sprang open. _Fuck Ratliff you can’t do this, someone is bound to hear and start asking questions._ But he was aching, he had to have release otherwise his dick wouldn’t calm down and he really didn’t want Adam or anyone asking if he was ok. He moved his hand quicker, listening for movement outside the shower room. His eyes closed again, he was close.

There was that image again, Adam in the shower with him, his hand moving expertly up and down his dick. “Nngh, fuck, Adam.” He came, his other hand pressed against the cubicle wall, he didn’t want to land on his ass as his legs gave way.

His hand stopped, his eyes sprang open. Had he just shouted Adam’s name as he’d jerked off to his image behind his eyes or was it just in his head? He listened for movement outside, holding his breath. No, nothing, they must either still be in the lounge area or in their own bunks.

Washing away the remains of what he’d just done, he switched the shower off. Wrapping a towel around his waist he opened the door, stepping out, straight into Adam.

“Fuck…um sorry…I erm…”

“Hey, not a problem Tommy Joe. My fault, I should have said something, let you know I was out here.”

“Did you um…want something?”

Adam wiggled his eyebrows and smiled. “Always Tommy…but the guys want to know if you’re up for a night out. They fancy stopping somewhere for a drink.”

“After that crazy night and knowing this area’s reputation…”

“Supposed reputation.”

“Well whatever. I’m knackered, so do you mind if I give it a miss. Promise I’ll come with you if we party after the concert in New York.”

“Are you sure? I’ll miss you.” He stared at the horror sleeve his guitarist had, wanting so much to taste the skin, kiss every inch of this beautiful man.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You don’t mind…do you?”

“Of course I don’t mind.” He ran his hand down Tommy’s arm, pulling away when Tommy shuddered. “I’m sorry Tommy Joe, I’m stopping you from drying off, don’t want you catching a cold or anything. It wouldn’t be the same on stage without my kitty!” Adam winked, smiling as he knew Tommy wasn’t fond of that nickname.

Tommy’s shiver wasn’t because he was cold, it was because he liked Adam touching him and wanted nothing more than to pull him close and kiss him, but… “S’ok, I’ll be fine, it’s not as if it’s freezing on this bus.”

“Still, I don’t want you falling ill, I need my awesome guitarist for the rest of this tour.”

“In that case I’ll go and put some clothes on. You all go have a good time and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ok Tommy, we’ll try not to make too much noise when we come back.”

“Have fun baby boy. See you later.”

Tommy watched as Adam joined the others, smiling when he heard Adam laugh at something Terrance had said. God, did he love Adam’s laugh.

^V^

Isaac had been watching Adam, with Tommy missing their boss wasn’t as animated as usual. He took a deep breath, his next question could either see him being sacked, punched or both, or he may be very lucky and keep his job.

“Adam…hey bossman.”

“Mmm, sorry Isaac I was just thinking.”

“Jeez, there’s a lot of that about tonight, it’s not good for you ya know!” He smiled as Adam half laughed.

“What did you want Isaac?”

It was now or never. “Why haven’t you asked Tommy out?”

“What? No…he’s straight, he doesn’t…besides I…”

“You what Adam? Come on we can all see you’ve got the hots for him and as for him being…”

“No Isaac, drop it. Tommy is my friend and guitarist and I don’t want to lose him as either.” He got up and headed to the bar.

“Nice one Carpenter. What was all that about?”

“Oh come on Neil, you’ve seen…in fact you’ve both seen how Adam and Tommy look at one another, you can’t say they’re not attracted to each other.”

“Like Adam said, they’re friends and besides TJ’s straight. We all know what happened to Adam the last time he crushed on a straight guy.”

“Well maybe TJ isn’t as straight as what he likes us to believe.”

“Has he said something to you?”

“Not in so many words Ash, but I have a feeling he’s in love with Mr Lambert over there.”

Neil laughed. “I admit he’s Adam’s type but…”

“Nope, no buts, we as friends of both of them have to play matchmaker or they will end up driving everyone crazy with the unrequited sexual tension.”

“Well good luck with that, my darling brother is a tough nut, I can’t see him going along with your plans.”

“And TJ isn’t going to either. He can be a stubborn little fucker.”

“Miss D wash your mouth out! We’re going to get them together if it’s the last thing we do before this tour is over.”

Ashley, Isaac and Neil watched Adam as he chatted to Terrance and Holly at the bar.

^V^

Tommy had been listening to Metallica when he heard the door of the bus open. He couldn’t bring himself to be sociable, so he closed his eyes pretending to be asleep. He heard the laughter of his friends but couldn’t help focusing on Adam’s giggle. He smiled, picturing the blue eyes lighting up and his animated hands all over the place as he talked.

Adam was expressive when he was telling a story and no matter how hard he’d tried to stop, he always spoke with his hands. Tommy pictured the long beautiful fingers moving, the flashes of silver nail polish darting around as the hands moved. He couldn’t help but smile. There wasn’t one part of Adam that wasn’t beautiful. And yes he’d seen every inch of the man as Adam always slept naked.

Tommy took a deep breath, he could feel the blood heading south, and if he wanted people to believe he was asleep then nothing could move.

He listened some more, it sounded as though they’d had a good time and were all a little tipsy. Adam was trying to explain something but couldn’t form his words properly. Tommy had to stifle a giggle, Adam was funny when he was drunk. Whereas Tommy became maudlin.

“S’not true Issssaac.”

“Tis Lambert.”

“Nope, don’t believe you.”

“Oh come off it Adam, that cute blond was practically drooling over you and all you did was ask him to pass the nuts.”

Tommy opened his eyes. So Adam had been flirting with a blond. He wished now he’d gone with them and been the blond. _Stop it Ratliff he’s your friend, why would he want to flirt with you?_ He listened some more.

“My dear baby brother, I’m capable of knowing when someone’s flirting with me for _me_ and when they’re doing it because of _who_ I am.”

“Oh come on Lambert, you’ve had too many one night stands. When are you going to find that special someone?”

“Hey, since when did this conversation become about my love life? I’ll have you know I’m quite happy as I am. Besides, I…”

“You what Adam? You can’t leave it there. Is there someone you’re not telling us about?”

Tommy listened. Had Adam found someone and not said anything to him. But then why should he? Tommy was only his friend and nothing else.

“Nothing, I’m going to bed. I’ve had too much to drink and you know I say waaaay too much when I’m drunk.”

“Well I think he’s got someone he’s not telling us about.” Ashley piped up.

“Leave it Ash.” Adam sounded upset.

Tommy couldn’t help thinking that there was that special someone and his friend didn’t want anyone to know. Maybe he daren’t say anything in case he upset Tommy. He turned to face the wall. He’d heard enough and really should try to sleep.

Adam lay on his bed, _fuck Lambert you nearly gave away your feelings there. You really shouldn’t have drunk so much._

After Isaac had mentioned Tommy, the blond had been all Adam could think about. So many times he’d wanted to tell his kitty how he felt, but knew it was a stupid idea. Tommy had told them right from the off that he wasn’t in a relationship so wouldn’t be leaving anyone waiting. He went as far as to say he’d just ended it all with his girlfriend. And if that wasn’t telling them he was straight, then what was? But that didn’t stop Adam crushing on him and kissing him on stage every night for months on the Glamnation tour.

What he’d failed to tell the blond was that it turned him on every single night and he’d had to sort his not so little problem out before they left the venue each night.

He closed his eyes picturing Tommy on stage, he was walking down the stairs towards him at the start of Fever, then kissing his bass player to the screams of the crowds. His hand went to his dick. It was on fire and extremely hard. Fuck! If only thinking about Tommy made him this aroused, what would happen if the blond was in his bed?

He moaned, his cool hand feeling good as it moved rhythmically up and down. He squeezed his eyes tighter not wanting the feeling to disappear quickly.

Faster, his hand moved, faster his breathing became. He wanted so much to stop these thoughts, but on the other hand if this was the only way he could be with Tommy then his hand would have to suffice.

“Nngh Tommy!” he came, warm liquid spilling over his stomach and hand.

His eyes shot open. Had he really called out Tommy’s name, or was it in his head? He knew one thing though, he would always compare other guys to his beautiful blond guitarist, and none would ever match up.

He let his breathing calm down then reached for tissues to clean himself up. He’d been tired when he’d left his friends but now he was wide awake.

Pulling on a pair of jogging pants he quickly headed to the lounge, hoping not to wake anyone.

He sighed with relief when he saw he was the only one awake. He really couldn’t have faced any more of his friends’ questions.

He set to and made himself a steaming cup of Camomile tea. He needed to calm himself down and this was the best way to do it.

Tommy woke as the bus went over a pot hole. He loved being with his friends but the travelling through the night wasn’t his favourite part of the journey. His sleep patterns were erratic because of his insomnia, so to be wakened by a hole in the road on the first night in many that he’d managed to sleep, wasn’t his idea of fun.

He heard movement in the living area so instead of trying to seep again (not much chance now he was wide awake), he’d go grab a soda and see if whoever it was fancied watching a movie.

Pulling on a pair of jogging pants he headed out. Stopping in the doorway when he saw Adam, his bare back to him, making a cup of tea. _Could he get back to his bunk without Adam knowing? Or…_ too late he’d spent too much time staring at the toned body, Adam turned and saw him.

“Hey Tommy Joe, I’m sorry, did I make too much noise and wake you?”

Tommy stared as Adam sat on the sofa, smiling. “Um, n…no I…stupid holes in the road, bus went down one.”

“M’sorry Tommy, I’ll have a word with Gus in the…”

“No Adam, It’s not his fault. Besides, what are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Too much going on in here.” He tapped his head.

“Wanna talk?” Tommy knew he was worried about the promotion of his new album and scared that his fans wouldn’t like the direction this new era had taken him.

Adam stared at his friend, how could he tell him he’d been thinking _and_ jerking off to images of a naked blond guitarist. “M’ok, but thank you for caring.”

Tommy had decided to get the soda and was making his way to an arm chair. “Hey, we all look after one another. That’s what friends do.” He smiled at Adam.

“Tommy.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you come sit here?” Adam patted the sofa next to him. “I could do with a hug.”

Tommy laughed. “K, anything for my baby boy.” He put his soda on the table then sat next to Adam. He felt a strong arm wrap around his shoulder. It felt so good, he had to concentrate on his breathing otherwise he wouldn’t have been responsible for anything else that wanted in on the hug.

Adam reached down to put his drink on the table, pulling Tommy as he moved. “This feels good Tommy Joe. I miss our cuddles.” Adam rubbed his hand down Tommy’s arm, a shudder rippling through the blond as he did so. “I’m sorry Tommy, you’re cold. Hang on I’ll be right back.”

Before Tommy could object, Adam had disappeared into his bedroom and was now returning with a blanket.

“Come on baby, lie down. I’ll keep us warm.” Adam spread the blanket over them as they both lay on the sofa. Tommy the little spoon as Adam squeezed himself between the back of the sofa and Tommy.

The blond held his breath as strong arms wrapped around him to stop him rolling onto the floor. He closed his eyes, this felt so good, he missed this when they were back home in LA.

“You comfortable?” Adam breathed into the back of his neck sending amazing sensations down his body.

“Yeah, are you?” Tommy wanted so much to turn to look at his best friend, but stopped himself because he knew he’d only end up kissing Adam and that would end a perfect friendship.

“I’m good. How about we try to get some sleep. We’ve got a long day ahead and two nights in New York.”

“Mmm at least we get to sleep in a hotel for a night.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Tommy felt Adam’s breathing even out. A sure sign the gorgeous man had fallen asleep.

“Oh Adam, I…I’m in love with you.” Tommy froze, what the fuck had he just admitted? He held his breath, then sighed with relief as gentle snores escaped Adam’s mouth. _Ratliff you have to keep that big mouth of yours shut. You can’t afford to lose this friendship, or job._

He placed his hand over Adam’s and gently squeezed. He couldn’t tell anyone about his feelings, not even Isaac. Squeezing Adam’s hand once more, he closed his eyes hoping that sleep would overtake him now he felt safe in his friends’ arms.

^V^

Adam woke as the sunlight made an appearance through the blinds. He felt cramped, couldn’t really remember where he was nor who he was holding. He opened his eyes, smiling when he saw Tommy curled up with him. Now he remembered. He’d made a cup of tea, which as he glanced at the table was still sitting there untouched along with the soda Tommy had put there. He remembered too that Tommy had been cold which was why they were cuddling under a blanket.

At some point during the night and without landing his cute ass on the floor, Tommy had turned to face Adam. Seeing him asleep made Adam want nothing more than to kiss him and gently wake him up. He closed his eyes, no, that would not be the cleverest of ideas.

Tommy’s eyes flickered open, smiling when he saw Adam.

“Morning Tommy Joe.”

“Mmmm morning. You must be so cramped, I’d better move.” This was not a good idea being so close to his friend. He could feel his blood supply heading south. _Fuck Ratliff move!_ He started to move but strong arms kept him in place.

“No Tommy, don’t move just yet. I always love our cuddles.” Without thinking he gently kissed Tommy’s lips.

Tommy’s breath caught in his throat surprising him as he realised he’d missed it. Without hesitation he kissed his friend back, Adam willingly opening up for the blonds tongue to explore.

A door closed, they pulled away, neither wanting to end the kiss but both shocked at the eagerness they had for it to happen.

Tommy sat up.

“I’m sorry Tommy Joe, I…”

“No…I’m the one who should be sorry, I…”

“Morning…oh am I interrupting something?”

“No Isaac, Adam and I were talking last night and we fell asleep.”

“Oh…I thought…”

“Carpenter, you know that’s not good for you.” Tommy winked at his friend as he went to put the coffee on. “Coffee’ll be ten minutes. I’d better go put some more clothes on, don’t want Ashley drooling over this body.”

“More like feeling sick TJ, you’re too pale.”

“He’s just right.” Adam smiled as Isaac stared at him.

Tommy blushed as he headed for his bunk.

“So Mr Lambert, what _were_ you two doing last night. That wasn’t just falling asleep after talking. You had one blanket and the only way it would keep both of you warm is if…”

“Leave it Isaac, we’re friends and that’s the way it’s got to stay.”

“Tell me to shut the fuck up, but what I saw when I came in was two people who clearly have feelings for one another and need to seriously talk about what’s going on, then have extremely hot sex.”

Adam sighed. “We all know Tommy Joe is straight and I can’t go down that road again. So we’ll continue to be good friends.” Slowly standing he headed to his bedroom, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, the smell of Tommy lingering on it.

Isaac watched, he should bash their heads together maybe that would knock some sense into his friends.

Adam sat on his bed, eyes closed remembering the kiss. It was a gut reaction but Tommy _had_ kissed him back. That had never happened before, well maybe a couple of times on stage but that was for the audience…wasn’t it? And there had been no audience this morning. Isaac was right, they needed to talk.

Tommy climbed onto his bunk _Ratliff what the fuck were you thinking?_ But he knew he hadn’t been thinking, he’d just gone with his gut reaction, he’d wanted to kiss Adam. _Well you’ve done it now. You’ve crossed the line, you need to talk to him, explain._ But explain what? That he wanted it, that he wasn’t as straight as he’d told them all. But that wouldn’t work, he’d lied to his friends and he knew how _he_ felt about liars. No he had to tell Adam it had been a mistake.

He found his favourite jumper, pulled that and a pair of jeans on. He couldn’t stay in his bunk all day, people would definitely ask way too many questions.

Taking a deep breath he headed for the lounge area and the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

Everyone but Adam was sat talking and drinking the coffee. He poured himself a cup and went to join them.

“My big brother must still be out of it, after all those drinks he put away last night.”

“Yeah he was rather tipsy when we got back.”

“He was fine when I was talking to him at four this morning.” They all looked at hm. “What? The bus went down a pot hole, woke me up. I wanted a soda and when I came out here Adam was making tea. We talked a while then fell asleep.” He took a mouthful of hot coffee.

“So where’s our leader now then?”

“He went in there.” Isaac pointed to the bedroom just as the door opened.

“Morning!” Adam looked at his friends, his eyes lingering just a little bit longer on the blond.

“Morning.” They all chorused. Tommy not meeting Adam’s gaze. If only he’d turned and gone back to his bunk last night none of how he was feeling would be eating him up right now.

Isaac watched his friends. He had to get them to talk, but that wouldn’t happen if everyone was around.

“I have an idea!”

“Oh great, Carpenter’s been thinking again.” It was Tommy’s turn to duck the flying cushion.

“Well don’t keep us in suspense.” Ashley raised her eyebrows insisting Isaac continue.

“Ok, so how about we get Gus to stop at the nearest diner so we can all go get breakfast. I’m in the mood for greasy food.”

“Breakfast sounds good but muesli for me thanks.”

“Yeuk Miss D, that’s not gonna line your stomach ready for our next night out.”

“If I eat fried food then get back on here I’ll be sick, and I’m guessing that wouldn’t go down too well.”

A chorus of no’s echoed around the bus.

“I don’t feel like eating, didn’t sleep well so can’t face food.” Tommy hoped they believed him. He just didn’t feel like being sociable.

“Ok TJ you could try to sleep whilst the bus is stationary.”

“Yeah, I might just do that.”

“I’m not up for much breakfast either. Think my head is complaining after all I drank last night.”

“Ok bossman, well the rest of us are going. Let Gus know we want food.” Isaac smiled as Adam messaged their driver to stop.

It was a further 20 minutes before the bus pulled into a roadside diner. They all piled off, Isaac last. “Are you sure neither of you want to come?”

“Sure.” Adam smiled.

“Yeah, thanks though.” Tommy looked at his friend.

“Ok, have fun boys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He laughed and disappeared.

Tommy went to refill the coffee pot, he really needed more caffeine.

“Tommy Joe are you ok?”

“Mmm yeah, why do you ask?”

“Normally you’d be the first one for greasy food.”

“Yeah well a guy can change his mind can’t he?” He regretted how that came out as soon as he’d finished speaking.

“Whoa Tommy, are you sure you’re ok?” Adam went to stand behind him, this was unusual for his friend to sound like that.

Tommy felt Adam’s presence, he hated how he was feeling but loved that he could feel his friend close to him.

“Yeah, m’fine.” He took a deep breath, closed his eyes then turned, coming face to face with the man he’d kissed earlier that morning.

Adam pulled him close. Tommy felt safe in the strong arms. Pulling away, “Adam I…”

“What is it?”

“That…our…fuck…”

“No we haven’t done that.” He winked at the blond “Yet!”.

“Adam, please.”

“Come and sit down, we need to talk.”

“Yeah…we do.” Tommy allowed himself to be led to the sofa. Adam sat, pulling him down beside him. They stared into each others’ eyes, it was Adam who spoke first.

“Tommy, that kiss this morning…”

“What about it?”

“Was I imagining things or did you kiss me back?”

“You know I did, so why ask.”

“Tommy, baby, I…”

“We can’t Adam. We wouldn’t work. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, it’s…”

“Because you’re straight and don’t do that with another man.” Adam could feel his anger rising.

“No Adam, it’s not that. I…shit…I should have said something sooner, but I got scared.”

“Scared of what baby?” Adam held onto his hands.

“Scared that you’d hate me and tell me to leave.”

“Tommy Joe, I’d never do either of those things. What is it you’d think I’d hate you for?”

“I…I’m…” It was no use he couldn’t tell this amazing man he was Bi.

“You’re what?” Adam as worried now.

Tommy took a deep breath. “It’s best if we just stay friends. I…I can’t give you what you want.” As much as he wanted to say it, he couldn’t tell him he was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to be Adam Lambert’s boyfriend.

“Oh, but what about…”

“I’d just woken up and you caught me off guard.. Please Adam we’re good friends, and…”

“And that’s all you want?”

“I don’t want to spoil what we have.”

“Other than our friendship and working together. That’s what you mean, isn’t it?” Tommy nodded. “Ok if that’s how you want our relationship to be, that’s what I’ll go with.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed Adam’s hands. “I’m gonna go get some air. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Bus is leaving in…” Adam looked at the time. “…in 20 minutes. I want to be settled in our hotel before we go to tonight’s venue.”

“K, I’ll be back soon.” Tommy disappeared out the door.

Adam was sitting on the sofa, eyes closed, when he felt someone sit beside him. “That was a quick walk Tommy.”

“Not TJ, it’s me.” Adam opened his eyes. “Saw Ratliff heading away from here so wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“Not really but I’ll get over it.”

“Come on, tell Dr Carpenter all about it.”

Adam told him about how they’d fallen asleep together then kissed when they woke. “And all he said was it’d be better if we were just friends.” Adam rubbed his eyes.

“Hey at least he didn’t say he was leaving.”

“Suppose there is that.”

“Did you tell him how you felt?”

“I tried.”

“Mmm not hard enough it seems.”

“I’m not going to say anything more to him. I’m gonna have to be satisfied with our friendship and the fact that he still wants to play for me.”

“Give him time. He might…”

“No Isaac he won’t, but thanks for listening.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

The door opened, everyone piled on including Tommy.

“Ok gang, let’s get to New York, we need to rest before we hit the stage tonight.”

“Let’s hope it’s not full of were’s again. I for one will be happy with a quieter audience.” Ashley sighed.

“If you guys don’t mind, I’m gonna try to get some sleep after last night’s wake up call from the pot hole.”

“Sure TJ you take care of yourself.” Isaac smiled at his friend. Watching as the blond made his way to his bunk. Adam’s eyes never leaving him until he’d shut the door.

^V^

Tommy must have fallen asleep, because someone was poking him in the ribs, telling him to wake up.

“K, ok, m’awake.”

“We’re at the hotel, everyone is ready to go, but you Ratliff, are still asleep.”

“Told ya Isaac, I didn’t sleep last night so…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Come on let’s go find our rooms then you can tell Uncle Isaac all about it.”

“Nothing to tell.”

“Come on TJ I know you better than that, you and I are gonna talk.”

Tommy sighed. “Ok, but only to shut you up. You’re worse than my mom for nagging.”

“Hey, I only want to see you happy. And right now I don’t believe for one minute that you are.” He smiled at his friend. “You’ve got five minutes to get your stuff together then we leave, with or without you.”

“Fine, I’ll be there.” Tommy sat up. “See I’m up. Now go, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Fine, and Tommy…” Isaac stopped in the doorway.

“Mmm?”

“We all love you, even bossman.” He smiled again, then left.

Tommy sat on his bunk. He did love Adam, but how could he tell him without destroying the trust his friends had in him.

“Tommy Joe Ratliff…two minutes left.” Isaac shouted.

“I’m coming.” He jumped down, grabbed his bag then went to join his friends.

“There you are Tommy, we thought you’d decided you preferred your bunk to a proper bed.” Adam winked at him as the others laughed.

“Uh huh give me a double bed anytime, I can spread out.”

“And here’s me thinking you wanted to share said double bed with someone special.” Adam commented as he picked up his bags and stepped off the bus.

Tommy felt his face flush. Adam had been joking but Tommy really did want to share his bed with the beautiful dark haired man. His friends piled off the bus leaving him and Isaac the last to go.

“Adam’s right isn’t he?” He saw Tommy close his eyes and gently nod. “For goodness sake TJ neither of you can carry on like this. _We_ are definitely going to talk.”

Tommy nodded, “ok” picked up his bags and followed everyone into the hotel.

There was a crowd of fans waiting for them near the entrance. They screamed as Adam approached. He was amazing, he’d stop and chat, sign autographs for his Glamberts no matter where they were. You could see how much he appreciated his fans.

“Tommy, over here, can we have a photograph of you and Adam together?”

Reluctantly he went over to the girl who’d shouted. He smiled as she took his photo.

“Please Tommy can I get a photo of you both?”

Tommy hadn’t heard him approach and was surprised when Adam spoke.

“That’s ok by me, what do you say Tommy Joe?”

How could he refuse. He loved the fans too, he wouldn’t be where he was today without them.

“Ok.” He looked from Adam to the girl. “Where to you want us to stand?”

“Ummm how about if…well…Adam would you put your arm around Tommy…if…if that’s ok?”

“Sure, that’s ok isn’t it Tommy?”

“Yeah, fine.” Tommy held his breath. After the incident earlier and the talk they’d had he had to keep his feelings for the strong safe arms around him in check. He definitely couldn’t show anything, not with all the camera’s flashing.

Adam’s arm snaked around his shoulders pulling him close. Instinctively Tommy wrapped his arm around Adam’s waist. It really did feel good.

The girls and several others snapped multiple shots before Tommy pulled away.

“Thank you Tommy, Adam, I’m really looking forward to the concert tonight.”

“No, thank you.” Adam smiled. “We love playing for everyone.” She blushed as Adam shook her hand. “Now excuse us all, we’ve had a long journey and we need to rest before tonight’s show.” He waved again and disappeared into the lobby. Tommy and the rest of the crew following.

By the time Adam had sorted out everyone’s key’s Tommy was ready for a drink. Heading to his room he knew Isaac wouldn’t be too long in appearing at his door for their _chat_. As ever Tommy found himself in the room next to Adam. He wanted to tell him to give him a different room but on the other hand he liked knowing his friend was on the other side of the wall.

He was just adding coke to the Jack he’d found, when there was a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath and downing half the drink he shouted for the person to come in.

“Any more of that? Or have you drunk it all?”

“Give me some credit Carpenter, I’ve only just got here.”

“Yeah, well after this morning I wasn’t sure how you’d be feeling?”

“Keep telling you I’m ok.” He handed Isaac his drink.

“Thanks. Now come on Tommy sit and talk to me, I hate seeing my two best friends hurting.”

Tommy sat cradling his drink, staring into the glass as if the liquid was going to magically move itself into his mouth.

“Tommy we don’t have all night, we’ve got a gig in four hours so come on talk to me man.”

“Fuck!”

“Nope, don’t wanna do that, but thanks for asking, besides you haven’t got the right equipment for me.”

“Do you want me to talk or do you want to just sit there making stupid comments?” Tommy looked at his friend. “I’m sorry Isaac, it’s just…”

“Just what? I’m not going to judge you or say anything to anyone, I want to help. And if by help it’s just me listening then that’s good by me.”

“Yeah, m’sorry.”

“Stop apologising and talk.”

Tommy downed the remainder of his drink. “I’m in love with Adam.” He closed his eyes, he’d never told anyone that so he was now waiting for Isaac to shout at him. But there was nothing, no shouting, no laughing, just silence.

He opened his eyes. “So…go on, tell me I’m being pathetic.” He stared at his friend.

“No TJ, I’m not calling you anything. We all have a right to love whoever we want. Just…well does Adam know this?”

“Now why would I tell him when he thinks I’m straight. It was bad enough this morning when I kissed him. I can’t admit to not being as straight as everyone thinks. I’d lose everyone’s trust.”

“Oh Tommy, you wouldn’t. We all love you for who _you_ are, you have to tell him.”

“I can’t. We talked when you all went for breakfast and I was on the verge of saying I was Bi but I…well I told him it’d be better if we were just friends.”

“Tommy he cares for you. You have to tell him how _you_ feel.”

“I tried Isaac, I just don’t want to lose him. It would kill me if he told me to leave because I lied.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“And how do you know?”

“Believe me, I just know.”

“No, I can’t. I love my job, I love all of you and I especially love Adam, but I can’t risk losing my job for being a liar.”

“Oh TJ you really must do something. I can see how it’s eating you up. Will you promise me something?”

“If I can.”

“We’ve got a few days off after these New York shows. Promise me you’ll tell Adam how you feel. Go somewhere together, sort yourselves out and when you’ve talked, have the hottest sex either of you have ever had.” Tommy laughed. “Well he can still laugh. Will you talk to him…for me…please?” Tommy nodded his head. “I’m sorry what was that, didn’t quite catch your answer.”

“Yes…ok…I’ll talk to him.”

“Good.”

There was a knock at the door. “Come in.” It was Ashley. “Hey beautiful lady what can we do for you?”

“Well if you bothered to look at your phones you’d know Adam wants us at the venue for soundcheck in 20.”

“Sorry, I’d put mine on silent when I went for that sleep.”

“Oh mine’s still in my room.”

“Men!”

“Hey what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing TJ, I love you all. Now you’d both better get your asses to the venue, you know how meticulous Adam is with his sound.”

“Sure, on our way.” Tommy and Isaac smiled as Ashley left.

“Now you’re not going back on your promise are you TJ?”

“No dad.” He laughed as Isaac playfully punched him on the arm. “Hey watch it Carpenter, don’t damage the guitarist.”

They headed out laughing.

^V^

The concert that night was electric. The crowd were amazing, singing along with all the songs. Adam was on a high. He loved to perform, he’d always said being on stage was his happy place. And Tommy understood every word, he was a different person on stage, he loved seeing everyone happy.

After two encores they finally left the stage. They were thankful that they were staying in New York overnight. They could relax rather than head straight back to the buses.

As they were changing the stage manager knocked on their door. Isaac and Tommy both shouted come in at the same time.

“Sorry to disturb you gentlemen but Mr Lambert said to meet him outside in ten minutes he’s got transport sorted for the Marquee, said he’s hired the VIP area so you can have a good time and not be disturbed. Erm…they were his words not mine.” He disappeared.

“I don’t feel like being sociable.”

“Come on TJ we don’t have any travelling to do we’re here again tomorrow. One drink’s not gonna hurt.”

Tommy sighed. “K, but only one!”

“Great, come on let’s go.”

“Took you boys long enough!”

“We had to pretty ourselves up for you Ashley.”

“Tommy doesn’t have to do that, he’s pretty already.” Adam smiled, Tommy felt himself blushing.

“Oh for goodness sake, when are you two gonna act on the sexual tension? It’s getting boring now.”

“Little brother, Tommy Joe and I are just friends, isn’t that right Tommy?” Adam looked at the blond, sadness flashing across his face.

“Yep Neil, we’re just good friends.” Tommy really didn’t want to get into this conversation. “So, come on then, where’s this Marquee club you’ve decided we’re off to?”

A limo pulled up. “Our ride ladies and gentlemen.” Adam held the door open for them as they piled in, laughing and chatting.

It was a squeeze, but they weren’t going far. Tommy found himself squashed between Isaac and Adam. He could feel the heat radiating from Adam and wanted nothing more than to crawl into his lap and kiss him into oblivion. But instead he took several deep breaths and closed his eyes.

“Are you ok Tommy Joe?” Adam put a hand on Tommy’s leg, who jumped as he felt the hand touch him.

“I’m sorry Tommy, I was worried about you.”

“M’ok, think it’s the insomnia from last night catching up with me.”

“As long as it’s nothing more serious.”

“No, I’ll be ok once I’ve had a drink.” He smiled.

As they arrived at the club, Adam glanced at his friend. _What had Tommy wanted to say this morning? Why couldn’t Adam tell him how he felt?_

“Are we getting out or are we having drinks sent out here?”

“Sorry Terrance, I was miles away.” Adam opened the door, everyone following him into the club.

They’d been there about an hour when a waitress brought over a tray of drinks.

“We didn’t order these.”

“No Mr Lambert, that young lady over there…” she pointed to a smiling woman over the far side of the room. “…says they’re on her as a thank you for an amazing concert tonight.”

“Oh well, tell her it was our pleasure and thank her for us.”

The waitress smiled then went to deliver the message. They all waved to her holding up their glasses in a thank you.

Talk moved to what they were thinking of doing during their two weeks off, when the woman who’d bought the drinks came across.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you.”

“That’s ok, thank you again for the drinks.”

“My pleasure.”

“What can we do for you Miss…”

“It’s Marcia.”

“Ok Marcia, what can we do for you?”

“Please don’t think I do this all the time Mr Lambert, but I wondered if Mr Ratliff would like to dance.”

Tommy nearly choked on his drink, the rest laughed.

“Oh dear, have I said something wrong?”

“No…no…it’s just Tommy here doesn’t dance.” Isaac gently shoved his friend.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” She turned to leave.

“No…wait.” Tommy needed to get away from Adam, he’d found himself sitting next to him again, and being so close was messing with his head.

Everyone stared at the blond. “What? A guy can change his mind can’t he?” he stood. “Thank you Marcia, I’d love to dance. I’ll warn you though, I’m not very good.”

“That’s ok.” She smiled as he followed her.

Adam never took his eyes from them, watching as they got closer together.

Isaac noticed and moved next to him. “Talk to him Adam, tell him how you feel.”

“I…I can’t, look he’s having a good time, I can’t crush on a straight guy again.”

Isaac shook his head, his friends were impossible.

Tommy actually enjoyed dancing with Marcia. He could feel eyes on him and every so often he glanced up to see Adam watching him.

The song ended, Tommy thanked her and hugged her knowing full well Adam was watching. As he got back to his seat his friend stood.

“Ok girls and boys it’s nearly 4am we have another show tonight, we need to sleep.” He retrieved his coat then headed out.

Stunned, everyone looked as he left, then followed him. They didn’t know what had caused this change in attitude but they knew not to argue with him.

No-one spoke on the ride back to the hotel. Not one person dared ask what had happened, they all valued their jobs.

Back in his room, Tommy was in the process of undressing when there was a knock at his door. He pulled his shirt back on, leaving the buttons undone because the last thing he wanted was to pay for a new door, as his visitor was determined to see him.

Opening it, “What the hell?” He nearly lost his footing as Adam pushed his way in. “Adam, what the…”

“What was that game all about tonight?”

“Fuck Adam, what are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about…Marcia!”

“Oh, I see. I can’t dance with a beautiful woman without your permission. Is that it?”

“No you idiot, you know that’s not it.”

“So I’m an idiot now am I?”

“What? Tommy no, I didn’t mean…”

“You say a lot of things you don’t mean.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“And?”

“Well that kiss this morning, you kissed me and then said it was a mistake. You’re lying aren’t you Tommy, it wasn’t a mistake, go on…admit it.”

“An idiot, now a liar. I don’t have to listen to this. I need some air. Goodnight Adam.” He pulled his jacket from the back of a chair as he stormed out of the room. He had to get out, he was feeling claustrophobic. If he’d looked back, he’d have seen Adam, tears running down his face mouthing _I love you Tommy Joe._

 

Tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Tommy didn’t know how long he’d been walking, nor did he have any idea where he was going. But he found himself on the edge of Central Park. Looking around him he could see people heading home after a night out, people heading for an early start at work. Mounted police were present in the park making sure everyone either got home safely or to their places of work.

He sighed, why couldn’t he just admit everything, life would be so much easier…wouldn’t it? He felt in his pocket for his phone, he’d let Isaac know what had happened and that he’d be back at the hotel as soon as he’d hailed a cab. _Fuck Ratliff, you left your room so suddenly, you forgot to pick it up!_ Oh well he’d just have to find a cab, head back and hope no-one had been looking for him.

He looked at Central Park again, it had an eerie beauty this time in a morning. Whatever time it was. He laughed to himself, no phone, no watch, what the hell time was it? It was getting light and they’d left the club around 4am so it must be around 6. Central Park was drawing him in. It was beautiful but noisy during the day. Now it was just beautiful. Why should he hurry back? So what if they were looking for him? It’d serve Adam right for pushing his way into his room.

He began walking back the way he’d come, but instead of going around the outside of the park he headed through it. It was peaceful and Tommy relished the tranquillity.

He’d been walking a few minutes when he heard a noise in the trees. He shuddered _stop overthinking Ratliff, it’s probably just a rabbit._ But he didn’t convince himself. Whatever it was sounded bigger than just a rabbit. He looked around, the mounted police officer was nowhere to be seen and it appeared everyone else had disappeared too. He began walking faster listening for anything or anyone who could be following him.

_You are jumpy this morning. You need to get some sleep._ He decided enough was enough, he had to get back to the hotel and sleep. Making his way to the nearest break in the trees, he started looking for a cab. Just as he was about to step onto the sidewalk, something leapt from the trees and floored him. He screamed, but the sound was muffled. He was face down in the grass whatever it was that had pushed him over was now holding him down. He tried to move, but the animal was so much stronger than him. He heard it sniffing his neck. This couldn’t be happening to him. He stopped fighting the creature. It moved, was it getting off him? Had it decided he wasn’t worth attacking anymore?

Tommy started to roll onto his back. That was not a good move. The creature snarled as he faced it. He knew now what it was. Maybe if he remained still it would leave him alone. Tommy held his breath staring into the dark eyes of the creature. Now was not the time to be living his nightmare. He wanted so much to get back to Isaac and his friends. Adam would be worried. _Nnngh, why did that man always invade his thoughts?_

He could feel the snout closer to his face, the breath gracing his cheek. Maybe if he… “I’m not going to hurt you…please…just…” What the fuck was he doing, talking to it? It wasn’t going to help the situation. The creature pulled back, it seemed about to move off him when someone shouted in the distance. The creature turned, Tommy thought it may be a good idea to push it away…after all it wasn’t concentrating on him right now.

How wrong could he be? As he tried to push up, the creature remembered he was there. All the blond could remember was sharp teeth, claws and his own voice calling out for Adam.

^V^

After Tommy had stormed out on him, Adam started to head back to his room but couldn’t bear the thought of his beautiful guitarist coming back and being all alone. Ok so Tommy had said he wanted to be alone, but Isaac was right, they needed to sort this out and that meant the both of them listening to each other and being honest. So rather than sleep in his own bed, Adam went to lie on the sofa in Tommy’s room. That way he’d know when he got back. They really had to resolve the whole mess before they continued with the tour. Adam knew his fans were observant and if there was any kind of tension on stage they’d be tweeting and asking questions.

Grabbing a pillow and a sheet he settled himself on the sofa to wait for his…his what?

He must have fallen asleep because whoever was banging on the door woke him.

“Hey Ratliff, are you coming for breakfast or what?”

Isaac’s voice but no answer from Tommy, where was he?

Adam rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to let his friend in before he woke the whole floor. “Hey Isaac, come in.”

“Oh…Adam…hi…I…did you and T,,,”

“Tommy’s not here?”

“What? Where is he?”

“Shit Isaac, I don’t know.” Adam could feel tears running down his face.

“Hey, come on. What’s happened for you to be in this mess and no TJ?”

Adam sat down. “We argued last night.”

“What do you mean?”

Adam told him what he’d said to Tommy, how Tommy had gotten angry then left.

“So you’re saying you slept here, waiting for him?”

“Yeah.”

“And you haven’t rung his cell?”

“N…no.” he sniffed back more tears.

“Come on Adam, he’s probably walking around somewhere. He’ll be fine. Let’s ring him.” Isaac hit speed dial, staring at Adam when they heard the strains of Personal Jesus coming from the bedroom.

“Fuck! He didn’t take his phone.”

“Adam, calm down.” Isaac watched as his friend paced the room.

“What if he’s hurt and…”

“Adam sit down, he’ll be ok.”

“And what if he isn’t? it’ll be all my fault.”

“Stop it, you’re both just as bad as each other.” Isaac sent messages to everyone asking them to meet in Tommy’s room. “We’ll find him. You just have to calm down.”

“I can’t, what if…Fuck Isaac, I don’t know what I’d do if…”

“Nothing is going to happen. He’s going to come through that door like nothing’s happened.”

“I can’t bear to lose him Isaac, I…I love him.” Adam waited for a comeback from his friend but he was silent. “What, no snide comments?”

“No Adam, I know you love him, you just need to let him know that. You should be together, I know Tommy…” he couldn’t say anymore, the rest of their friends entered the room all asking questions at the same time.

“Whoa, hang on.” Isaac shouted. They all stopped talking and looked at him. “Ok, this is what’s happened.” He gave them a watered down version of Adam and Tommy’s argument. He didn’t want to betray either of his friends’ trust, so didn’t say what they argued about. He said Tommy being the stubborn fucker he was hadn’t got back and he’d not taken his phone either. He gave each of them a different place to look for the blond telling them he and Adam would try the hospitals…not that they believed he’d be there. He was probably walking around not realising they were worried about him.

The crew went in search of their friend whilst Isaac started ringing the hospitals.

The second one he tried he got an answer he didn’t like the sound of. As he came off the phone Adam grabbed his arm.

“It’s Tommy Joe isn’t it?”

“Hang on.”

“Which hospital was that?”

“Adam wait.” Isaac closed the door, he needed Adam to calm down.

“Please Isaac, just tell me, where is he?”

“Look, they’re not sure if it _is_ TJ, they haven’t been able to talk to him yet?”

“What do you mean?”

“Lenox Hill Hospital had a blond unknown man taken there just after 6am this morning he…” Adam pushed him away from the door. “Adam wait.”

“NO! I’m going to see if it _is_ him.”

“Then wait until I’ve told the others.”

“No Isaac, I need to know.”

“I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you do this on your own.”

“Then come on.” Adam was running towards the elevator. Isaac ran to catch up with him, ringing Terrance as he went, asking that they all meet them at the hospital in case it was TJ.

When the pair arrived at the hospital reception Isaac explained who they were looking for. The young woman recognised Adam and explained the unknown man was in a side room waiting to have his wounds stitched. She pointed them in the right direction, saying she hoped everything was ok and she looked forward to seeing them that night.

Adam sped off leaving Isaac to thank her.

Approaching the room, Adam came to a halt.

“What’s wrong?”

“What if he’s so badly hurt he…”

“We don’t know if it is TJ yet, so stop thinking the worst.” He put a hand on his friends shoulder.

A nurse came out of the room. “Oh hello, can I help you?”

“I… we were wondering if the man in there had managed to tell you who his is?”

“No, not yet, he’s still sedated.” Adam gasped. “He’s going to be ok Mr Lambert, it’s only a few cuts but he was thrashing around and the doctor didn’t want him hurting himself anymore.”

“You…you know who I am?”

“I was at your concert last night. I loved it.”

“Thank you. So you know who that is in there?”

“I wasn’t sure. I had a good idea but if you could just confirm his full name that would be great.” She smiled at him. “Go on, you can go in.” She watched as Adam entered, a sob leaving his throat when he saw it was Tommy.

“That confirms my suspicion, I’ll let them know who he is.” She smiled at Isaac.

“Thank you, I’d…we’d be grateful if the press didn’t find out.”

“They won’t hear anything from me.” She nodded then disappeared.

Isaac opened the door but stopped himself from going in when he heard Adam talking.

“Tommy Joe, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I…I was jealous of that girl last night. I wanted so much for you to be dancing with me. I’m going to be honest from now on. I…I love you Tommy and we will sort this out. I promise.”

Isaac coughed. “I’ve asked the nurse to make sure the press don’t find out.”

“Thank you. Did you hear…”

“Not all of it, but you will tell him again when he wakes up?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“T…tell…me…what?”

“Oh Tommy. I’m so sorry, I didn’t want…”

“Ssh, it’s not your fault. I…shouldn’t have…”

Adam put a finger on his lips. “Don’t Tommy, I…” he heard the door close, Isaac had left them to talk.

“You what baby boy?”

“I…” he wiped his eyes. “I was jealous. Of that girl. I wanted to be the one dancing with you. I’m…”

It was Tommy’s turn to stop Adam talking. But instead of putting a finger on his lips he pulled him down for a kiss. When the kiss ended Tommy was blushing. “I’m sorry Adam, I should have said something sooner.”

“Oh baby, we’re both as stubborn as each other. The main thing is for you to get well again, then we can talk properly.”

“Ok but…”

“What baby?”

“I’m not as straight as I led you all to believe. I’m sorry I lied.”

“Hey don’t. I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion you were straight and let you explain.” He lent down kissing him lightly on the lips again. “I’m going to look after you, make sure you’re healing ok. What, who attacked you?”

Tommy couldn’t tell him, he didn’t want to frighten him. After all it may have just been an ordinary wolf. “I…I’m not sure. It jumped at me from behind, I landed face down in the grass.” That part was true. “I must have hit my head because when I woke up I was in an ambulance. I’m embarrassed to say I tried to fight off the paramedics I wasn’t sure who they were, I thought they were the ones who attacked me. The next time I woke up you and Isaac were talking.”

“Oh Tommy, you’re going to be ok. We’ll cancel tonight.”

“No we won’t. My hands are fine I can still play. I’ve…” He put his hand up to his neck. “I’ve got a few scratches but I’ll be ok.”

“Only if the Doctor says so.”

“Yes mom!” Tommy smiled. “Now kiss me again, that’ll make me feel better.”

Adam kissed him, neither hearing the door open.

“Well finally.” They pulled apart. “I thought I was going to have to bash your heads together.” Isaac stood inside the door a huge grin on his face. “The others are outside. Neil is talking to the Doctor.”

“Oh great! I’d better go rescue the doc.” Adam started to get up.

“No you don’t, you stay with TJ, I’ll go do the rescuing.” He left them.

“Can…can I stay with you in your room?”

“You don’t have to ask. I’d love for you to be there.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the gang burst into the room, Neil huffing and muttering under his breath.

“Little brother, what’s wrong?”

“All I wanted to know was would Tommy be ok to play and the doc nearly bit my head off saying I wasn’t supposed to ask that as I’m not a relative. Have you heard anything so stupid?” They all laughed. “What?”

“Neil, I’ll be fine. It’s not my hands that were hurt. I’ve already told Adam I’ll be good to play tonight. I’ll rest back at the hotel and be good to go.”

“And I’ll look after you.” Adam leant down to kiss him again to cheers of Yes! And Finally! From everyone in the room.

^V^

On the instructions of the doctor, all but Adam were told to go home, Tommy needed rest. As each one carefully hugged the blond goodbye Tommy promised that he’d see them all later for the concert.

“I’m sorry Mr Ratliff but you won’t be going anywhere tonight except home to rest. If you can’t promise me that I’m afraid I’m going to insist you remain in hospital. I don’t want you bursting your stitches.” The doctor glared at him as he prepared the instruments ready to stitch the wounds.

“But doc, Adam hasn’t…”

“I’m sorry but that’s my last word on the matter.”

“When…” Tommy sighed, “when will I be able to play again?” He looked at Adam, he could feel tears welling in his eyes.

“Tomorrow night at the earliest, but I’d prefer if you took a few days off, I don’t want to have to re-stitch you or treat you for an infection.”

“But it’s our last concert before we have a two week break. Couldn’t…”

“Mr Ratliff, you’ve had a serious injury to your neck and back, I don’t…”

“Doctor…” Adam had an idea.

“Mr Lambert I don’t…”

“Please hear me out before you decide.” His eyes searched the doctors’ face for compassion.

“Ok, I’ll listen, but if after I’ve heard and I still disagree with you, will you both accept my decision for Mr Ratliff to rest?”

Tommy and Adam looked at one another then to the doctor and nodded, albeit reluctantly.

“Ok Mr Lambert, tell me your plan whilst I stitch Mr Ratliff’s neck and back.”

“Ok, so if I promise to keep an eye on Tommy this afternoon, make sure he rests and eats properly, then for the show if I make sure he stays seated whilst he’s playing, would you let him play? As he said it’s our last concert for a couple of weeks and we’re all going home to relax. What do you day doc, can I have my guitarist tonight?”

The doctor was quiet as he stitched the wound on Tommy’s back. Adam waiting reaching out for Tommy’s hand as he winced when the injection to numb the area was administered.

“Well doc, what…!

“Mr Lambert, I heard you, you don’t have to repeat yourself.”

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“Can you truly promise me Mr Ratliff will rest right up until the concert, have a substantial meal and drink plenty of water. Also promise me that he will not go bounding around the stage.” Adam giggled. “Oh I didn’t realise what I’m asking was so funny.”

“I’m sorry doctor, but Tommy doesn’t bound anywhere. He’s, what can I say…sedate when he’s on stage, well except for his headbanging sometimes.”

“Well that’s definitely out of the question.” The doctor finished off dressing the wound on Tommy’s back before he said, “ok, he can play as long as he’s sat down.”

Both men smiled.

“Forgive me for asking, but do you have any children?” Adam had spotted the wedding band on the doctors’ finger.

“Yes, I do, two daughters as a matter of fact.” He smiled as he spoke about them.

“Do you mind me asking how old they are?”

“Sara is 15, and Emily is 12.”

“Well how about you bring both of them and your wife to the concert tonight. You can be our guests and you can see that Tommy here behaves himself.”

“Thank you Mr Lambert, that would be wonderful. I know Sara has been trying to get tickets, but they sold out pretty quickly.”

“Well she doesn’t have to worry now about missing us.”

“Thank you that’s very kind of you.”

“Not a problem, it’s our pleasure, a thank you for looking after Tommy.” Adam smiled. “If you write your names down for me, I’ll give them to the Stage Door Security so you won’t have to queue with everyone else. If you come to the stage door say 45 minutes before the concert’s due to start, I’ll introduce you all to my band and dancers.”

“Thank you so much, I’m not going to mention that to Sara or Emily, it’ll be a lovely surprise for them.”

“Sounds a good plan.” Adam squeezed Tommy’s hand as the doctor started stitching his neck wound.

Tommy was relieved when the doctor had finished. Although it didn’t hurt, he sometimes felt the pull of the thread as it went through his skin. Well he thought he did. He knew he shouldn’t feel anything, maybe he was just imagining it.

“I’ll leave you to rest for a while. I’ll come back in about an hour, just to make sure you’re feeling ok. If so then I don’t see why you can’t go back to your hotel.”

“Thanks doctor and I promise I’ll rest.”

The doctor smiled as he left the two handsome men to talk. He laughed to himself remembering things Sara had said about Tommy and Adam being perfect for one another, but she was disappointed knowing they weren’t a couple. Well from what he’d seen this morning the two men he’d just left definitely were a couple. The way they’d looked at each other and had no worries about holding hands when he’d been with them. Wait until Sara found out tonight. He knew she’d be talking about it for weeks…no months to come.

“Adam…I’m…”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. I told you we’re both stubborn and afraid to admit how we felt. That’s in the past, let’s just get on with our future.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course I do. I want you around for as long as you want me.”

“And I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to go.” Tommy wiped away a tear.

“Hey come on, we’re going to be ok. Your wounds will heal and after our break we’ll have the best time on the road…together.” Adam leant over and kissed him. Tommy willingly opening up allowing Adam to explore every inch of his mouth.

^V^

True to his word the doctor returned in less than an hour, checking Tommy’s pulse and blood pressure. He made sure the dressings were secure and was happy that Tommy would rest. Adam reassured him that he would personally make sure Tommy stayed put until it was time to head to the venue. The doctor signed the release papers, thanked Adam again for their chance to see the show, then watched as two stunning men left the hospital hand in hand. If he was honest, even he was looking forward to the concert too.

When Adam and Tommy arrived back at the hotel they found everyone waiting in the lobby for them. They’d taken it in turns to explore the city but didn’t want to be too far away for when their friends returned.

“Yay Tommy, how’re you feeling?”

“M’ok, sore, tired but docs agreed I can play tonight.”

“Only if he rests this afternoon, eats well, drinks plenty of water and sits down when he’s on stage. Oh and definitely no headbanging!”

Tommy looked at Adam, “yes mom!”

Everyone laughed, relief showing on their faces.

“I’m going to take Tommy to my room…”

Wolf whistles, cheers and comments of _yay go boys_ and _finally_ sounded from everyone. Tommy blushed trying to hide behind his hair. But Adam pulled him close kissing his neck.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I promised the doctor I’d make sure he behaved.”

“Yeah, yeah Lambert, if you say so.”

“Let’s get Tommy settled, I need to talk to you all.”

A moan escaped everyone’s lips.

“Neil, you’re worse than mom or dad. Can’t we just relax?” Adam squeezed Tommy’s waist.

“I want to make sure there’s no bad press about what happened to TJ.”

“And we trust you to sort that, it doesn’t need all of us. I’m going to take care of Tommy Joe, the rest of you can do whatever you want.” With his arm still around the blond, he led him to the elevator and up to his room.

Once there he made sure Tommy was comfortable, then made the call to the venue security letting them know there would be four guests tonight. When he went back into the bedroom, Tommy was asleep. Adam smiled then settled himself next to his boyfriend gently draping his arm across Tommy’s waist. Tommy moved but only to turn towards Adam, his arm going to Adam’s waist.

Adam smiled, “I’m never letting you go Tommy Joe Ratliff, you’re where you belong.” Adam closed his eyes and was soon asleep.

Tommy woke, not quite realising where he was, then he smelt Adam’s cologne. He smiled he was safe. He noticed Adam was sleeping. He didn’t want to wake him, but he was desperate to pee. Nuzzling Adam’s neck and gently kissing it, Tommy smiled when his man moaned softly and turned on his back. Perfect, Tommy could get to the bathroom and be back before Adam woke.

Gently sliding off the bed he tiptoed to the bathroom, smiling to himself not believing how lucky he was now that he had Adam. As he washed his hands he glanced in the mirror. “What the fuck?” He stared at his eyes. They were a beautiful golden brown. He blinked thinking he was imagining it. But nope, when he looked again he knew he wasn’t dreaming. He listened, no movement from the bedroom, he had to check his neck.

Slowly his hands moved to the dressing, feeling for the plaster that held it in place. He closed his eyes, held his breath and pulled the dressing off. He remained still, his eyes still closed, he wanted to look but was afraid of what he’d see…or wouldn’t see.

Slowly opening his eyes he stared once more at them and the definite change in colour. How would he explain that to Adam and the gang? “Fuck!” He took a deep breath, eyes shifting focus to his neck. He wanted to scream, instead he bit his lip stifling the noise he was sure would wake Adam.  He looked closer, rubbed his eyes, maybe he was dreaming. But looking again he knew it wasn’t a dream but a nightmare. It was plain to see, the wound on his neck had gone, not even a scar. All that remained were the stitches not really any use anymore as there was nothing for them to hold together.

He gripped the sink, he could hide the evidence under the dressing, he could wear his sunglasses, after all everyone was used to him wearing them. But how would he explain the rest? How long did he have before…? No he couldn’t think about that. They’d got a show to play tonight. Thank goodness they were heading home for a couple of weeks. That would give him time to decide what to do next.

He heard movement. Adam would wake up if he wasn’t there. Putting the bandage back he headed back to a sleeping Adam. “Oh baby, what am I going to do?”

^V^

Tommy tried desperately to sleep some more but his head was filled with questions. Questions he couldn’t ask his friends. How could he tell them what had really happened _and_ what was going to happen to him. They would tell him not to worry, he was imagining it. But no, the wound on his neck had gone, that was definitely not in his imagination. And his eyes. _Fuck Ratliff how are you going to explain that? You can’t keep your sunglasses on in bed_. Bed! He couldn’t stay in Adam’s bed, what if…? He shook his head, _get all those thoughts out of your mind. You are not going to hurt Adam you love him_. That’s what made this whole situation worse. They’d finally admitted their feelings for one another and now he was going to have to tell everyone he was…what…a werewolf.

Tommy could feel tears running down his face. Feeling Adam move Tommy turned to face the window and closed his eyes, but not before he noticed the sun setting. How long did he have before the next full moon and…no he couldn’t think about that, the show and their flight home were his priority right now.

That was his escape. He’d get back to LA, he knew they’d all go see their families, then he’d disappear. Do some research into what…who he would become.

More movement from Adam. Tommy pretended to be asleep as Adam gently got off the bed. The blond listened as the man he loved ran the water in the bathroom. He felt him gently slide back into bed behind him. “Oh Tommy my beautiful man, I’m sorry we argued and this happened to you.” Adam gently touched the dressing on Tommy’s back causing the smaller man to hold his breath. “I’ll make sure you get your dressing changed, no one is going to hurt you again.” He leant in, kissing the nape of Tommy’s neck.

Tommy moaned, Adam was all he’d wanted for as long as he could remember, but now he had to leave him, he couldn’t hurt this beautiful man.

Adam heard the soft moan and kissed Tommy’s neck again, smiling when Tommy turned to face him.

Knowing he couldn’t let Adam see his back, he had to do something, so gently turning he came face to face with his man. He just hoped in the dimming light Adam wouldn’t notice his eyes.

“Hello sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

“M’ok, a little sore, but I’ll be fine once I start moving around.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok for later? I don’t…”

Tommy put a finger over Adam’s lips, “sshhh, I’ll be fine, besides the doc will be there and I wouldn’t want to disappoint them. After all it’s our last concert tonight then we go home.”

“Ok you’ve convinced me. But it’s only our last concert for two weeks then we play the west coast.” He pulled Tommy in for a gentle hug. “Do you want anything baby?”

“Just to hold you like this for as long as possible. I…” The phone rang on the nightstand.

“You what Tommy Joe?”

“Nothing, you’d better answer that.”

“You’re more important.”

Tommy laughed. “Go on, I’ll stay right here.” Tommy wanted as much time with Adam as he could get before he had to leave.

Adam turned to the ringing phone. Lifting the receiver, “Adam Lambert.” He motioned Tommy to snuggle under his arm. As Tommy moved he could hear a voice on the other end of the line.

“Thank you…yes put him through.” Adam looked at Tommy and rolled his eyes mouthing Michael as he waited for the call to connect.

Michael, was one of the directors of the label Adam was with. Although things lately hadn’t been too good. He listened as best he could to both sides of the conversation but only caught the odd word from Michael.

“Michael, how are you…we’re just about to get ready and head to the venue…no it’s not mid morning…come on how long have you been dealing with clients across America? Surely you should know the time differences by now…we’re 3 hours ahead of you…ok, ok…” Adam looked at Tommy as he rolled his eyes again. “…what? How did you…I specifically told the hospital not to speak to the press…” Tommy stiffened in Adam’s arm, Adam looked at him concern in his eyes. “no…I am not going to make the attack on Tommy public…I want to know who told you…Michael, Tommy is fine, he’s playing tonight and then we’re catching a flight home tomorrow, we have two weeks off…remember…no I am not going to play any small gigs whilst I’m home…my band…who are also my friends are having a well earned break. I may go into the studio to put the finishing touches on some songs I’ve been writing, but hey if I don’t it’s not the end of the world…No Tommy is still going to play for me…no he’s not so badly injured that he can’t move…For crying out loud, where did you get this information from…?”

Adam looked again at his boyfriend and mouthed “Sorry”. Tommy just held him tighter. He could tell Adam was reaching breaking point, but he knew he would hold it together as much as he could over the phone. He also knew Adam would give Michael a piece of his mind when they got back to LA.

“Michael, listen to me, first I’m not having anyone tell me how to live my life. When you signed me you knew how I worked and basically if you don’t like it you…no I’m not saying that…Look we’ve got a concert to do in…3 hours so goodbye Michael and tell your sources whoever they are, to get all their facts straight before spreading rumours…oh and if I see anything in the press that even sniffs at Tommy’s accident I’ll have you and them in court quicker than you can say Rumours!”

Tommy had to stifle a giggle, that was so typical of Adam quoting his songs when he was winding someone up.

“Goodbye Michael we’re off to give New York one helluva show. See you in a couple of days.” And he slammed the phone down. Taking deep breaths, he pinched the bridge of his nose, he could feel a headache trying to crawl its way through his skull.

Tommy looked at him, “You ok baby boy?”

Adam folded him into a hug. “Yeah, m’fine. I’ve got you here and that’s all that matters. Screw Michael and his stupid sources.”

“What’s happened.”

Adam kissed the top of Tommy’s head. “Oh someone’s told him you were attacked last night and are in critical condition.”

“What the fuck! Where did he get that from?”

“Oh he said one of his associates was visiting a relative in the hospital, saw you brought in and said you didn’t look good.”

“Must have been when I was sedated.”

“Yeah,” Adam sighed.

“There’s something else isn’t there?”

“What?”

“I know you too well Adam, come on talk to me.”

“He only wanted me to do an acoustic tour around LA to further promote the album. I said we were having a break, and besides you need to rest. His reply was I can use any guitarist, they’re all the same. Well sorry but they aren’t my Tommy Joe. So I told him no.”

“But if it’s…”

“No baby, not even thinking about it. If you’re not playing, then I’m not singing.”

Tommy held on tight. How would Adam cope when he left LA? Tommy didn’t want to think about that. He had to keep Adam safe, that was all that mattered.

“Come on, let’s get ready, we have a concert to do.” Tommy moved to kiss him.

“You’re right Tommy, let’s go show them what we’ve got. But remember no headbanging, and stay sat down.”

“Yes mom!” They both laughed as they climbed from the bed. Tommy would have liked to have stayed there with him for the rest of the night, holding him, making love to him, but that would have made things worse when it was time for him to leave.

“Come on Tommy Joe, let’s go have some fun.”

^V^

Tommy made sure he kept his sunglasses on during the sound check. It wasn’t as if they had a lot to do, it should have been ok as it was their second night, but Adam always liked to be sure.

“Hey TJ you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m good Ter.”

“Just wondered with you keeping your glasses on.”

“My eyes are sore, don’t want to make them worse.”

“Well make sure you rest before the show. We don’t want you making yourself ill.”

“I’m ok Terrance, I’m not going to do anything stupid not when the doctor who treated me is gonna be in the audience tonight.”

“We just worry about you, is all.”

“And I love you guys for it. But I promise I’m good.” Terrance squeezed Tommy’s shoulder then disappeared with Holly to warm up, giggling over something one of them had said

“Hey TJ, penny for them?”

“What…oh hi Isaac, I was just thinking.”

“Oh boy, not again. You know it’s not good for you.”

“Fucker. No seriously, what…no doesn’t matter.”

“Look you’ve started, so finish. I’m not going to say anything to anyone. What’s on your mind?”

Tommy sighed, “I…what if…fuck…”

“Spit it out. Do you remember something about your attacker?”

“What? No.”

“Well then, what’s eating you? I know you too well Tommy, there’s something wrong.”

Tommy sighed again, “K…I…” he closed his eyes even though Isaac couldn’t see them behind his glasses. “how do you think Adam would cope if I didn’t play for him anymore?” There he’d said it, he held his breath waiting for Isaac to shout. But all his friend did was laugh.

“Come on TJ we know that’s never going to happen, you’re joined at the hip. You’ll always be there for each other especially now you’re together as a couple. Where in hell’s name did that thought come from?”

“Michael was on the phone before we came out wanting Adam to do an acoustic tour in LA during our two weeks off. Adam said no, of course, but Michael said any guitarist would do if I wasn’t up to playing.”

“Hey, Adam said no. That should be proof enough he wants you there. Stop worrying, you’re gonna be fine. The break will do us all good. We’re all knackered. Once we’ve had our break, we’ll be eager to make fantastic music again.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for TJ. I wouldn’t have the energy to play if I’d been the one attacked. We’re going to be amazing tonight. And in the morning we go home.”

“Yeah thanks Isaac.”

“What for?”

“Listening.”

“No problem. That’s what friends are for.” He hugged his friend then pulled away quickly, remembering the wound down his back. “Sorry, didn’t mean to hug you so hard, how’s the wounds?”

Tommy stiffened, “Ok, a bit sore, but I’ll live.” He hoped Isaac didn’t ask too many questions or want to see his stitches. How would he explain what was happening to him.

“Well you make sure you don’t get carried away and start your usual headbanging tonight. I for one don’t want to have to get you stitched up again.”

“No, I’ll be careful”

“Good. Now come on let’s go get ready. Tonight we slay!”

Tommy laughed, he had a good friend in Isaac which was why he couldn’t tell him what he was going to do. His best friend would talk him out of it. Tommy knew Adam would sleep on the flight back to LA so that would give him time to do some research. He had to know how long he had before…

“Hey Tommy Joe, come on let’s make music.” Tommy smiled as Adam pulled him in for a kiss. Why did this have to happen, just when he’d finally admitted his feelings for Adam.

^V^

The concert was electric, even though Tommy wasn’t his usual bouncy self, everyone enjoyed it. The doctor and his family were full of congratulations on every part of the performance. He even praised Tommy for his playing after such a traumatic time.

The doctors’ daughters both said they would be making all their friends jealous being able to meet not only Adam but the whole of the band and his dancers. Adam laughed and signed autographs for them and their mom, who said she had no idea any of this had been arranged.

As they headed back to their hotel, Adam held tightly onto Tommy’s hand. He could tell the blond was worn out. The stress of the hospital and the concert had taken everything out of him.

During the ride in the elevator, Tommy had leant against Adam. He feigned tiredness but was really afraid of getting any closer to his boyfriend. He knew what would be happening in the next few days would certainly hurt Adam and that upset Tommy more than being attacked.

“Are you ok Tommy?”

“Mmm, just tired. It’s been a rough kinda day.”

“Let’s get you into bed…”

“Ew Adam, too much information.”

“If you’d have let me finish Miss D, I was going to say, so he can sleep. As much as I’d like anything else, Tommy is right, it’s been a long day and we have all the time in the world for anything else that springs to mind.” He kissed the side of Tommy’s head. “Now all of you, get some rest, we have a flight to catch tomorrow and then we can relax for a couple of weeks.

“Yeah, will be good to see Sophie, skyping is just not the same.”

“Well give her a big hug from me and tell her your boss…and friend…is very grateful to her for letting you disappear for weeks on end.”

They’d reached their door.

“Will do. See you in the morning.”

Everyone headed to their rooms, Adam and Tommy pausing outside Adam’s suite. “You wanna sleep in your room or…”

“No Adam, want you to hold me. I’m sorry I don’t have the energy for…”

“Hey, that can wait. Like I said we have all the time in the world. We don’t have to rush.”

Tommy held him tightly. “I love you Adam.”

“And I love you too. Now come on let’s get some sleep.” He led him into his bedroom watching as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Tommy closed the bathroom door, taking deep breaths. Gripping the wash basin, he slowly removed his glasses keeping his eyes closed. He wanted to look but afraid of what he would see.

“Don’t be long baby, I need to pee!”

Tommy giggled. “Ok, won’t be a minute. You certainly know how to sweet talk your boyfriend.” He heard Adam laugh. Opening his eyes, he stared at his reflection. Yep still a golden brown. “Fuck!”

“You ok Tommy?”

“Yeah sorry, just wet the front of my shirt as I washed my hands.” He splashed water on his shirt.

“Well don’t worry about that I’ll be removing it shortly.”

Tommy stared again at his eyes. He wanted Adam so much but knew that would never happen now.

Replacing his glasses, he headed back to the bedroom. Adam smiling at him as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Tommy took the opportunity to undress and slide between the sheets, he couldn’t risk Adam asking how his back was, possibly wanting to see it to make sure he was ok.

“Hey I wanted to undress you!”

“I’m sorry, I’m kinda working on autopilot.”

“Oh baby, you must be knackered, I’m sorry.”

“Hey nothing to be sorry for. Now get in here and hold me.” Adam laughed. “What?”

“You’ve still got your glasses on.”

“See told you I’m shattered.” He removed them and switched off his bedside lamp. “Turn out your light, wanna watch you by moonlight.”

Adam smiled as he turned out the light. “Better?”

“Mmm, you’re beautiful in the pale light.” Tommy held the cover up as Adam slid in beside him. Tommy snuggled closer wanting so much to have Adam make love to him, something to take with him when he left. But he just held on, kissed his man’s neck and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight baby boy.”

“Goodnight Glitterbaby.” Adam kissed him gently wrapping his arms around him.

Tommy found it difficult to sleep worrying how Adam would cope after he’d gone plus his insomnia was not helping either.

He lay listening to Adam’s breathing as it evened out. “I’m sorry Adam for everything that’s going to happen. Just remember I love you.” He whispered. Sleep eventually came but not before he saw the light of day appearing through the window.

He was woken by the phone ringing. Adam groaning as he turned to answer it.

“Hello…yes thank you.” He replaced the receiver. “Tommy, hey wake up.” He kissed him gently. Tommy groaned. “I’m sorry baby, that was our alarm call. The cabs will be here in two hours to take us to the airport. We need to move.”

“Mmmm, m’awake.”

“I’m going to shower. Why don’t you do the same in your room and that way you can pack and I won’t be distracted by your beautiful body.”

Tommy laughed. “Not beautiful.”

“You are to me. Now come on otherwise we’ll not have time for breakfast.”

Tommy felt Adam slide out of bed, kissing him before he headed to the shower. He was pleased Adam hadn’t seen his eyes. This would give him a chance to get ready and have his sunglasses on before questions would be asked, which he couldn’t answer.

As he was packing he made a mental note to make sure all his affairs at home were in order so his mom and friends wouldn’t have to worry about bills or anything. He shook his head. _Ratliff you have other things to worry about that are more important than bills._ He had to find out when the next full moon was so he could make sure he was well away from the people he loved before anything happened.

Adam knocked on his door. “You ready Tommy Joe?”

“Come in, and yep all set.”

“Good, let’s go eat.” They headed down to breakfast. Tommy holding on to Adam’s hand. He wanted, no needed as much contact with the man as he could get.

Breakfast was full of chat about what they were going to do on their break. Tommy listened trying to think how he’d slip away. Maybe he’d leave a note for Isaac telling him everything. No, it would mean he would go looking for him and really, he didn’t want to be found.

“Ratliff, hey earth to Tommy.”

“What? Sorry was miles away.”

“Yeah we’d noticed. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, a bit sore but I’ll live.”

Adam leant over and kissed him. “Purlease Lambert, not whilst we’re eating!”

Adam flipped Isaac off as they all laughed.

“Right everyone, we have 30 minutes to make sure we have everything then the cabs will be here. Oh Tommy you do have your passport don’t you?”

“Neil!” everyone chorused.

“What? Only making sure, you know what he’s like for leaving it behind.”

They all laughed as Tommy groaned.

Thirty minutes later they were all in the lobby, Tommy with his passport firmly in his hand, Adam’s comforting arm around his shoulders. Neil checking everyone out, no doubt panicking they’d forgotten something.

Their flight was on time and true to form as soon as they’d taken off, Adam was asleep, music playing in his ears.

Tommy looked around making sure none of the others were watching as he searched for information. Some of them were listening to music others reading, Neil making sure no doubt, all the pieces were in place for their tour of the West Coast.

He checked his twitter feed, smiling when he saw numerous comments praising the concert. But he couldn’t dwell on that he had to find out the information he needed to make sure he’d be safely away before…before _it_ happened.

Scrolling through the numerous sites, he calculated that he’d have 48 hours to be as far away as possible before he… By all accounts the first time was going to be painful which made him more determined _not_ to be in LA. Or if he was, then as far enough away from people, namely Adam, so as not to be able to hurt anyone.

Quickly typing an email to Isaac, Tommy saved it. He’d send it just before he left. That way he could be far away before word got around.

Putting his laptop away he reached for Adam’s hand, holding on to him for maybe the last time ever.

He must have fallen asleep because he felt someone gently shaking him.

“Hey Tommy Joe, we’re about to land, wake up baby.”

“Mmm, sorry must have nodded off.”

“I’m not surprised after the last couple of days. But we’re nearly home and you can relax.”

“Yeah. Do you…would you…”

“What?”

“Would you mind if I went straight home?”

“Of course I don’t mind, How about you come around to mine tomorrow, we can make up for lost time then.”

“Sounds a perfect idea. You do know I love you.”

“And I love you Tommy Joe. Promise me you’ll get some rest because I plan on keeping you awake all night as I make love to you.”

“Mmm sounds wonderful. And yes I promise to sleep.” He leant over to kiss him just as the plane touched down.

They were through customs in a short space of time. One of the advantages of being with Adam Lambert.

As they exited the airport they said goodbye and promised to meet up at Adam’s for a party in a few days. Adam telling them he’d message everyone with time and date.

Tommy headed for a cab. “Share mine baby, please.” Adam held on to him.

“Sure.” Tommy smiled as they got in, moving as close to his man as he could get without sitting in his lap.

Twenty minutes later they were at Tommy’s. “I _will_ see you tomorrow night won’t I?”

“Of course you will Adam. I can’t wait.” Tommy hoped he sounded convincing.

“Good, I look forward to not having to say goodbye to you again. Take care of yourself baby.” He kissed him, not caring what the cab driver thought.

“Love you Adam.”

“Love you too.”

Tommy got out retrieving his case and guitar from the trunk. He watched as the cab took his man from him. All he had to do now was make sure everything was in order, send the email to Isaac and then disappear.

^V^

He closed his front door, leaning against it, eyes closed. He _was_ doing the right thing, wasn’t he?

Pushing away he headed to the lounge, he needed a drink. Pouring himself a large Jack he took a mouthful as he headed to the sofa. He could feel the liquid burn as it coursed its way through him. His phone bleeped. He stared at the screen as he took another mouthful. Adam’s name was staring at him, why did all this have to happen now? Just as they’d finally found each other. Hitting the message Tommy felt tears slowly running down his cheeks.

**Hey Glitterbaby, I hope you’re not binge watching TV, you need to rest. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Oh and bring a toothbrush because I’m not letting you go once you’re in my bed.**

If he read it once he must have read it a dozen times. There was nothing he wanted more than to be in Adam’s bed, making love to him, kissing him, holding him. But that was never going to happen. He had to message him back otherwise Adam would be ringing him wanting to know if he was ok.

**_Hey Babyboy, I’m just heading up to bed. Eyes are sore and I ache after that flight. I can’t wait to be with you and I’ll gladly bring a toothbrush. See you tomorrow. I love you_ ** _._

Before he hit send he finished his drink. What he was doing to Adam and his friends made him feel sick. His phone bleeped letting him know his message had gone. He sighed, he had to do this it was the safest option for all of them.

He stared at the lockscreen, it was a photo of him and Adam that one of their fans had taken, they were staring at each other, smiles on both their faces. You could see there was more between them, even in a photo.

As he took his empty glass to the kitchen he froze, he felt like someone was watching him. But no-one could get into his property. There was a brick wall and security gates at the front with a steep incline and trees out the back. No-one could see his home from the trail above and the incline was too steep for anyone to climb down. _Stop being paranoid Ratliff, there is no-one there. You’re tired and need to sleep._ Rinsing the glass, he looked out the kitchen window. He couldn’t see anyone but that sense of being watched was still there.

Shaking his head he headed for the stairs. He had a lot to do but needed some rest before he could set to and sort everything out.

Undressing he sensed again that someone was watching. He looked out of his bedroom window, nothing. Then he saw the bushes move, was there someone there?  Shaking his head he laughed to himself. _You’ll send yourself crazy if you don’t get some sleep._

Removing his jeans he looked in the mirror, he still had the bandage on his neck. Well there was no need for that now. Removing it he saw a very slight scar and black stitches. He couldn’t leave them there, what would people say if they saw them? Gritting his teeth he found a pair of nail scissors his mother had left. Gently snipping the thread and pulling he managed to get rid of them. He watched as the marks left by each stitch disappeared. FUCK! This was certainly scaring the shit out of him.

Turning, straining over his shoulder to look at the dressing on his back he wanted to remove it but was afraid of what he’d see. He managed to loosen a corner of the tape at the bottom, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, he pulled. The dressing peeled away from his skin. It wasn’t an easy job, he contorted his body all different ways in order to remove the last part of the dressing. Sweat was running down his face. _Shit that was not the best idea you’ve had Ratliff._ He bent over, his breath coming in short bursts. Dropping the tape on the floor he turned again trying to see the wound down his back. But like his neck there was nothing to see except the stitches and a faint scar. There was no way he was going to be able to get rid of those. He’d cross that bridge at a later date. Right now he needed sleep. Crawling under the covers he wasn’t long before sleep overtook him.

^V^

He didn’t know how long he slept, but was woken by howling that seemed close by. He went to look out of his window but darkness had taken over and he couldn’t see anything. As his eyes adjusted to the night, he thought he saw movement again in the bushes. Turning his bedside light off he was surprised at how much better he could see. He had to hold on to the window ledge as he realised why he had better vision. He began to panic, was whatever going to happen to him be starting sooner than he’d expected.

Taking deep breaths he stared out into the darkness. This time he saw what was making the undergrowth move. Staring back at him was a beautiful grey wolf with the most gorgeous blue eyes. He smiled, the rich blue reminding him of Adam. Shaking his head he had to start making plans. He had to be away from here before the sun set tomorrow. Taking one final look he saw the wolf had disappeared. Did it know what Tommy was? Did all wolves have an instinct when another potential wolf was nearby? So many unanswered questions. Ones that hopefully one day he’d know the answers to.

Pulling on jeans and t-shirt he headed down to the kitchen. He’d decided not to email Isaac, he’d get it too quickly and Tommy needed to be well away before anyone could come looking for him. Finding writing paper and pen he sat, thinking what to say. He wasn’t good with words, but he had to make sure they knew not to go looking for him.

An hour or so later there were three envelopes on the table, one for his mom, one for Isaac and a brief note for Adam. He knew this was probably the cowards way out, but it was the safest.

Heading back to his bedroom he tried not to envisage the looks on everyone’s faces when they read the letters. Grabbing his backpack he quickly stuffed a few clothes into it, smiling as he put his toothbrush in remembering what Adam had said.

Taking one last look around he was satisfied that everything was in order. He’d left his cellphone on the bedside table, he wouldn’t need it, he wouldn’t want to speak to anyone. As he passed his music room he hesitated, should he leave everything here or… On instinct he picked up his acoustic guitar. Maybe he could earn a few dollars busking. That way he could buy coffee and maybe earn enough to find a motel to sleep in. He couldn’t risk taking his credit card, they’d be able to trace it. He’d seen enough programmes to know that’s what police did when they were looking for someone. He left his wallet, car keys and passport on the hall table, stuffing all the change he had into his pockets. Picking up his guitar case he took a final look around his home then walked out into the cool morning air.

 

Tbc


	3. Chapter 3

Adam couldn’t wait for Tommy to arrive, they had so much to catch up on. All that wasted time when Adam thought he’d never have a chance with Tommy Joe Ratliff.

He’d been awake since six and was now making sure everything was tidy ready for his boyfriend to stay. He re-read the message Tommy had sent the previous night telling him he loved him. He’d been wandering around the house a silly grin on his face. God how much did he love Tommy? He’d show him and they wouldn’t leave the bedroom for days. They didn’t have to be anywhere else.

He was just making another Camomile tea, trying to calm himself down, when his phone rang.

“Hi, Adam speaking.”

“Hey Adam, I’m sorry to bother you but I don’t suppose you’ve seen or heard from Tommy?”

“Lisa, hi. Not since last night, he was on his way to bed when I messaged him.”

“Oh, ok. He’s not answering his cell that’s all. I just wanted to see how he was. Mom heard about the mugging and just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

“Tell her he’s fine, he wasn’t seriously hurt and luckily the mugger didn’t steal anything. He’d left his cell and wallet back at the hotel.”

“Thanks Adam, that’ll ease her mind. Look when you see him, tell him to ring mom, you know she’ll only worry until she speaks to him.”

“I will do. He’s coming over later this morning. I’ll make sure it’s the first thing he does.”

“Thanks Adam. Oh and we’re having a B-B-Q at the weekend, why don’t you come along.”

“I’d love to, thanks.”

“Bye for now, I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“Not a problem always good to hear from you.”

“Bye.” Lisa hung up.

Adam smiled at his photo on his lock screen. It was of Tommy mid head bang to Trespassing. He’d have to get a better picture, maybe one of them together.

Taking his tea he headed for the lounge. He’d picked up a pile of mail but hadn’t bothered to open any the previous evening. Now he’d kill some time waiting for his lover to arrive.

He’d just opened the last one when his phone rang. Caller ID said it was Isaac.

“Isaac, what can I do for you. Thought you and Sophie would be…”

“Is TJ there?”

“No, Tommy Joe’s not arrived yet, he’s no doubt on his way. Is anything wrong?” Adam wouldn’t normally have worried but this was the second person to ring looking for Tommy.

“He seemed very quiet yesterday and was engrossed in his laptop on the flight. I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

“He told me he was tired yesterday, what with the attack, the hospital and playing the show. As for him on his laptop, you know how he doesn’t much like flying. I expect he was watching video’s or something.”

“Yeah, you’re right. He’s probably still asleep. Which as we all know is rare for TJ, so it’ll be good for him.”

“I agree. Look why don’t I get him to call you when he gets here. I’m expecting him in about an hour or so.”

“Great thanks Adam.”

“Not a problem. We wouldn’t be good friends if we didn’t worry about him.”

“You’re right. Thanks, bye.”

“Bye.” As Adam disconnected he looked at his phone, no message from Tommy, no missed calls, just two people looking for the blond. He was beginning to be concerned himself now. Surely, he looked at the time, 11.30, it was way too late for Tommy to lie in, even after everything that had happened.

Hitting speed dial for Tommy, Adam waited for the blond to pick up. No, it went straight to voice mail.

“Hey baby, it’s me, ring me when you get this.” He stared at the phone as he hung up.

He needed coffee. Taking his phone with him he stood waiting for the coffee to gurgle through the machine. He looked at the time. 11.50am surely Tommy Joe was awake now. _Stop panicking, he’s probably in the shower._ Adam took his coffee back to the lounge. Maybe answering some of the correspondence he’d opened would take his mind off why his Tommy hadn’t called back or turned up.

He was engrossed in a letter from his record company when his phone rang. Without checking the caller ID he answered. “Thank god Tommy where…”

“Not Tommy, it’s Neil and if you’d looked at your caller ID you’d have seen.”

“Fuck Neil, what do you want?”

“And hello to you too brother.”

“Neil?”

“K, ok, just wanted to let you know we have a meeting tomorrow with Michael.”

“I’m busy.”

“Adam we have to go. Look I promise it’ll only be an hour.”

Adam sighed. “Ok but if it looks like it’s going to be longer, you can finish the meeting. I’m going to have some me and Tommy time this next couple of weeks.”

“Too much information brother. But ok, an hour, I promise.”

“What does he want anyway?”

“Don’t know, just said we had to be there.”

“Fine, if I must. Now goodbye Neil, I’m going to grab a shower whilst I wait for Tommy Joe.”

“Oh I thought he’d be there by now.”

“Yeah, so did I? I expect he’s forgotten the time. Don’t blame him, he’s had a rough couple of days.”

“Yeah, ok, see you tomorrow then?”

“Yes Neil, see you tomorrow.” Adam hung up. _Where are you Tommy Joe?_ He looked at the time again 12.45pm, now he was definitely worried.

He dialled Isaac. “Isaac it’s me, have you seen or heard from Tommy?”

“Hi Adam, no sorry thought he’d be with you by now.”

“So did I, look I’m getting worried, can I meet you at his?”

“Sure, say twenty minutes?”

“Thanks man. I’m sorry to drag you away from Sophie.”

“Hey don’t apologise. I hope TJ’s ok.”

“Yeah, so do I. See you soon.” Adam gulped down the remains of his coffee, shuddering as it had gone cold. Then retrieving his car keys from the hall table he headed to his car.

Twenty minutes later Adam, Isaac and Sophie were making their way up Tommy’s driveway.

“Well his car’s still here so he must be in.” Isaac squeezed Sophie's hand hoping he sounded convincing.

“Yeah you’re right.” Adam looked in the car window, no sign that Tommy had been to the vehicle.

Isaac rang the doorbell and they waited. No answer.

“Try again…please.” Adam was getting agitated.

Isaac rang again, still nothing.

“I’ll ring his cell.” Adam hit dial, staring at his phone when no-one answered and it went to voicemail again.

“Look I know TJ leaves a key under the planter at the end of the garage for when Dia or Lisa come to check on the house for him.”

“Which one?” Adam was on his way to the set of three planters.

“He alternates, with those three, I’d check under them all.”

Adam found it under the second one he looked at. All but running back he handed the key to Isaac, he couldn’t open the door his hands were shaking too much.

As Isaac stepped over the threshold, “Hey Ratliff you still asleep?” The house was eerily silent.

“I’m gonna check upstairs.”

“K, Soph and I will try down here.”

Adam bounded up the stairs ready to go through all the rooms, but was stopped by Isaac’s shout.

“Adam! You need to come down here…now!”

“Why what’s wrong?” he shouted back.

“Please Adam you have to see this.”

Taking the stairs two at a time his heart was beating so loudly that he thought Isaac and Sophie would be able to hear it.

“Where are you?”

“Kitchen.”

Making his way to his friends, his nails digging into the palms of his hands, he was scared at what he’d find.

He was met with Sophie, arms wrapped around her husband’s waist, tears in her eyes, tears running down Isaac’s face.

“What…where’s Tommy…what…” He saw a sheet of paper in Isaac’s hand. As he looked to where his friend pointed, he saw two more envelopes, one with **Mom** written on it the other had his name in Tommy’s writing.

As Sophie led Isaac to the lounge Adam picked up his letter. Sophie and Isaac were looking out the front window when they heard Adam scream.

^V^

Isaac ran back through to find Adam sitting on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, arms hugging them tightly, rocking backwards and forwards, tears streaming down his face. Sophie appeared at the side of Isaac, “Go to him, hold him.”

Isaac did as he was told. Kneeling at the side of his friend he reached out a hand to a distraught man. “We’ll find him Adam, we’ll not stop until we do. Let’s ring him see where he is.” Isaac nodded to Sophie who dialled their friends’ number.

They heard the strains of Personal Jesus echoing from upstairs. Adam heard it. “TOMMY!” he shouted leaping to his feet he bolted up the stairs. As he entered Tommy’s bedroom he stopped, staring at an empty bed, the phone ringing on the bedside table. “NO!” He picked up the phone, then lay on the bed, the smell of Tommy still on the sheets.

Isaac and Sophie had heard him shout and now joined him.

“Adam, we’ll find him.”

“You already said that.” He snapped. “I…I’m…sorry.”

“Hey, I’d be in exactly the same state if Soph left me. I understand.”

“Why’s he done this? I thought we…” A fresh round of sobs escaped Adam’s mouth.

Sophie went to sit on the bed, stroking Adam’s arm. “Sssh, we’ve got you. We’re not going anywhere until we get to the bottom of why he’s gone.” She looked to her husband for help.

“Sophie’s right, I’m going to ring the police, get them to start a search.” He disappeared. Sophie heard him raise his voice, whoever he was talking to was not telling her husband what he needed to know. She noticed Adam was still clutching the note.

“What did Tommy tell you, and perhaps from what he told Isaac we may know where he’s heading.” Adam looked at her, his bloodshot eyes showing the pain he was going through.

Isaac walked back into the room, Adam sat up. “Are they going to look for him?” The look on his friends face told him he wasn’t going to like what he heard. “Isaac, please, I have to know what they said.”

“I…I’m…”

“Fuck Isaac, Tommy is missing, what are they doing about it?”

“They said that because he left a note saying he was leaving, they can’t class it as a missing person. They said he wanted to leave so they’re not investigating.”

“Fuck, give me the name of the officer you spoke to. I’ll give him a _missing person_.” Adam went to get up.

“That’s not going to help.” Sophie put her arms around him, trying to calm him down.

“Please Sophie, I have to find him.”

“I know, we all do, but getting angry at a police officer isn’t going to help.” She held on tight, feeling the tension in her friends’ body. After a minute or so he relaxed slightly. “Now let’s go downstairs, I’ll make us some coffee, or we can go back to yours and…”

“No, I want to stay here, I feel closer to my Tommy.”

“Ok, coffee here it is. I’m sure TJ won’t mind.” She smiled but Adam still had silent tears running down his cheeks. As she helped him up he clung on to her.

“What am I going to do Sophie?”

“We’re going to sit, drink coffee and read our letters from TJ and try to figure out what’s brought all this on.”

Isaac was already in the kitchen when she steered Adam to a seat. He’d been about to put coffee on when his eye caught the third letter. “Oh crap!”

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“Dia!”

“What…what about Dia?” Adam asked.

“She has to know before anyone else finds out. She has to read this letter.”

Adam swore, then got his phone out to ring Dia. “Hey Dia it’s Adam…I’m ok…look I’m sorry to ask but would you be able to come around to Tommy’s…I…I’m sorry but I’d rather not talk over the phone…he’s ok…we’d just like to see you, I can get Isaac to pick…ok that’s fine so we’ll see you in ten minutes…great, see you soon.”

“How did she sound?”

“Worried, so you’d better get that coffee on, I think we’re gonna need lots of it.” Adam looked at his phone, the lockscreen flashed on which brought a fresh wave of tears. Sophie hugged him whilst the tears subsided.

By the time the coffee had sputtered through, there was a knock on the front door.

Sophie answered and was followed back into the kitchen by Dia and Lisa.

Dia spotted Adam’s tear stained face. “Adam, honey, what’s happened, where’s Thomas?”

“Dia I’m…you should read that.” He pointed to the final envelope.

Dia stared at it, hand shaking as she reached to take it.

“Mom, what’s going on, what’s that?” she pointed to the envelope in her mothers’ hands.

“I…I don’t quite know Lisa. Adam, Isaac, what…?”

“You should read what Tommy says first, then we should talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Dia, please, just read the note.” Adam snapped. “I’m sorry, it’s…well you’ll see when you’ve read what Tommy has to say.”

They all watched as Dia slit the envelope. Unfolding the piece of paper she began to read.

“Hi Mom, I want you and Lisa to know that I love you both so very much and that’s why I have to go away. I know it’s going to hurt for a while but that pain will ease over time. If I stay then I’m likely to hurt you both even more. Please don’t try to find me. It won’t do any good. By the time you read this I will have disappeared and that’s how I want it. Please don’t be angry with me…or Adam. He didn’t know I was going to do this. Be there for one another and know that I’m ok. One last thing…Lisa, give my beautiful niece a hug from me and tell her I love her. Don’t worry about bills or anything for my house. I’ve taken care of all of that. Don’t ask the police to be involved, I don’t want to be found. It’s safer that way.

I love you all so very much.

Tommy”

Tears were running down hers and Lisa’s faces. “Adam, what’s going on? What did he mean he doesn’t want to hurt us, how does he think we’re feeling?”

“We’re as much in the dark as you.” Adam sniffed back more tears. “Both Isaac and I got letters too.”

“What did he say in yours?”

Adam wiped his eyes, took a deep breath…

“My beautiful Adam. I know we’ve only just found one another but I have to go away. It’s got nothing to do with your or how I feel about you. I will always, always love you with all my heart. I know it’s gonna hurt but I couldn’t risk staying and hurting you more. I hope in time you’ll forgive me and find that special someone to love and share your life with. Please Babyboy don’t come looking for me. I don’t want to be found. Take good care of yourself.

I love you

Tommy Joe”

Adam’s tears began again. Dia went around the table and held on to him until his tears subsided.

“Oh Adam, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Dia.”

“That’s as maybe but he’s my son and I know how much he loved you.”

Adam stared at her. “You…you did?”

“Yes honey. I saw it every time he looked at you. And I also saw that same look in your eyes when the both of you were together.” She hugged him tighter.

“I was a fool Dia for not daring to tell him how I felt.”

“Don’t put all the blame on yourself, my son can be stubborn at times.” Adam laughed slightly. “Now what are we going to do about finding him?”

“You heard what he said mom, he doesn’t want to be found.”

“Well I don’t believe he really means that.”

“Mom!”

“No Lisa, I know what he said, but I have a feeling there’s more to why he’s done this than we currently know. Isaac, I’m sorry to ask but what did Thomas say to you?”

“That’s ok Dia.” He unfolded his note…

“Isaac, my best friend, my brother, I’m going away, sorry but not gonna tell ya where. Don’t really know myself yet. I just know I have to get away from everyone I love. I…let’s just say things have gone in a direction I never would have imagined. I know it’s gonna be hard on everyone but I need you to understand that if I don’t leave then I’d no doubt hurt more of the people I love. I don’t know what’s going to happen I just know you’ll all be better without me. Promise me you’ll look after Adam for me, make sure he finds someone that will love him like I do. Above all you must make sure he finishes his tour. I know there are many amazing guitarists out there who would give anything to play for Adam Lambert. Move on with your lives…I…well I know I’ve got to.

Take care of the beautiful Sophie,

Love ya man.

Tommy”

Everyone was crying, they had all lost a man they loved.

“Can I ask a question?”

“Sure Lisa, what is it?” Adam looked at her, brushing tears from his face.

“What did Tommy mean by _he had to leave otherwise he’d hurt us more?_ He put it in every letter, not always the same wording but the same meaning?”

They all looked at her.

“Read through your letters again and tell me if I’m wrong.”

Dia, Adam and Isaac read once more.

“Ok, now swap letters and read.”

They did so, “ok now a third time.”

“Lisa.”

“Please mom, humour me.”

They did so.

It was Isaac who spoke first. “Wow Lisa, you’re right. Well spotted.”

“But what does he mean?”

“I don’t know sweetie, but we’re going to find out.”

“Dia I understand you want to get to the bottom of this but, it’s getting late, why don’t we…”

“Adam don’t you want him back?”

“Oh Dia, of course I do, more than anything. But we’ve all had a shock, we’re tired and we can’t stay here.” Adam wanted nothing more than to be around Tommy’s possessions, to smell his boyfriend on clothes, but that would be invading his privacy.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, forgive me.”

Adam hugged her, “nothing to forgive. Look I’ve got a meeting with my record label in the morning, why don’t I call around afterwards and we can discuss a plan to find him.”

“Thank you Adam. That would be good.”

“That’s settled, I’ll pick Isaac up and come to yours, say around 1pm?”

She nodded, “ok, great.”

He hugged her and Lisa then watched as the pair headed for the door.

“We should go too.”

“Thanks Isaac, and you too Sophie, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been here.”

“Hey that’s what friends are for.”

They both hugged him. “Are you going home?” Isaac raised his eyebrow in question.

Adam smiled slightly, “You know me too well. I’m gonna have a look around, see if there are any clues as to where he could have gone.”

“K, if you need me to come back then ring me, I’ll be here for you.”

“Thanks. I’m not staying long, it’s not the same without him.”

“Take care and let me know when you’re picking me up tomorrow.”

“Will do.” One last hug for each of them then he watched his friends leave.

Checking all the rooms Adam found nothing out of the ordinary. He did notice that Tommy had taken his guitar. He smiled to himself, at least he wasn’t leaving music behind altogether.

One final look in the lounge he spotted Tommy’s laptop. Staring at it he argued with himself as to whether he should take it. _Oh what the hell Lambert, he hasn’t taken it, there might be something on there that would give us a clue._ Picking it up he had one more look around the room. “Don’t give up Tommy Joe, whatever you’ve done or thinking of doing, please know we’re going to find you and sort things out. All I care about is having you back in my life, in my bed…if you still want that. I love you Glitterbaby and don’t forget that.” Wiping another tear away he headed home.

^V^

A ringing woke him. Adam groaned and pulled the duvet over his head. He didn’t want to talk to anyone and he especially didn’t want to see whoever was at his front door unless it was his Tommy. But that wasn’t going to happen. Tommy had left.

The ringing continued, then his phone began in musical accompaniment “GO AWAY!” he shouted, he wasn’t in the mood for anyone.

His phone stopped but the door bell ringing continued. Then his phone bleeped alerting him to a voicemail message.

Throwing the duvet off he sat up, why couldn’t people just leave him alone? Reaching for his phone he looked to see who had called. Spotting Neil’s name he groaned and threw the offending object across the room.

Thankfully the bell ringing had stopped. He looked at the time, 10.15, his head hurt. After he’d arrived home from Tommy’s the previous night he’d had a drink. Then the one led to another and by the time he’d realised, he’d finished a full bottle of Tequila. His mouth felt like he’d been eating sand for a week and the pounding in his head was as if someone was drilling holes through his skull. He groaned again, closing his eyes against the daylight taunting him through the cracks in the curtains.

He heard movement on the stairs. _Who the hell was in his house?_ He really didn’t care, if they wanted to steal stuff who was he to stop them? All he wanted was to have Tommy back. Whatever had made him go away couldn’t be so bad that they couldn’t work it out.

His door opened. “Whoever you are fuck off, take whatever you want I don’t care, just leave me the fuck alone.” He covered his head with a pillow.

“And good morning to you too brother, now get your ass out of bed, into the shower and hurry up, we’ve got a meeting with Michael in 30 minutes.”

“Go to hell Neil, m’not going, you can go. Tell him I’m ill.”

“I’m not leaving you here to screw Tommy all day, you’re coming with me, then you can play with him as much as you want.”

“Tommy’s not here, now fuck off like a good brother and leave me alone.”

“I thought TJ was…”

“NEIL! PISS OFF!”

Neil looked around the room, no sign of anything belonging to the blond. He didn’t know what was going on but he intended finding out. “Ok, I’ll leave on the condition you get a shower and come downstairs and we talk.”

“Nothing to talk about. Tommy’s gone, not coming back, so I’m staying here until he does.” Adam glared at his brother. “You go tell Michael I’m postponing the remainder of my tour. Tell him I’m ill but don’t say a word about Tommy Joe.”

Neil saw tears begin to wend their way down Adam’s cheeks. Something had happened and he needed to know what. “Right, I’m going downstairs, I’ll make us coffee. You get yourself into the shower and downstairs then you can tell me what the hell is going on.” He went to his brother, squeezing his shoulder. “Please Adam, I want to help.”

“You can hel…”

“No you don’t, don’t you dare say I can help by leaving. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me everything. I’m your pain in the arse brother who loves you and doesn’t like seeing you hurt. And don’t you _ever_ tell anyone I said that, I have my reputation to keep.” He saw the corners of Adam’s mouth twitch into what he’d accept, for now, as a smile.

“Now are you coming down for coffee or do I have to bring mom here to get you out of bed?” He smiled remembering how their mother used to put ice cubes on their necks to get them up.

“You’re not going to leave it are you?”

“Nope. Please Adam, I want to help.”

Adam sighed. “Ok, go make coffee I’ll be down in ten.” He watched as Neil left then retrieved his phone to see if there were any messages from Tommy. Nothing, the voicemail had been from Neil wanting to know why he wasn’t answering the door.

Neil was on the phone when Adam entered the kitchen.

“No, he’s going to be ok, just a slight cold…yeah thinks he picked it up in New York…no that’s good thanks…yeah we’ll see you tomorrow 10am not a problem…I will Michael yeah bye.” He hung up.

“What did that leach want?”

“Adam he’s a Director of the label you have to…”

“I don’t have to do anything. You haven’t answered my question.” Adam raised his eyebrows waiting for his brothers’ reply.

“I rang him to tell him we’d be late, we should be in that meeting in five minutes. He said not to bother, he’s got meetings all day and can’t accommodate us today. We’ve got to be there at ten in the morning.”

“Great, wait until he finds out about Tommy.”

“What about him? Where is he? Thought he was coming here? What’s happened between the pair of you?”

“Whoa, one question at a time, my head hurts and I need that coffee.” Adam reached for a mug filling it with the hot strong smelling liquid.

Neil watched as his brother headed for the lounge. Following he didn’t want to keep asking questions so he waited until Adam was ready to talk.

“Tommy’s gone.”

“What do you mean, Tommy’s gone? Gone where?”

“Don’t know. Here read this.” He handed over the letter his boyfriend had left.

Neil read it. “What…what does he mean, he doesn’t want to hurt you. I think he’s already done that. I knew you shouldn’t have…”

“Stop! Don’t you say to me he’s changed his mind and he’s decided he’s straight after all. If that’s all you’ve got then you can leave.” Adam went to the window looking out over LA below them, the Hollywood sign in the distance.

“Adam, please…I…”

“Don’t want to hear it. Like I said, say you’ll help or go.” Neil was silent. “Besides, how did you get in?”

“I have a key…remember?” Adam nodded. “What do you want me to do Adam?”

“Will you help us?”

“What do you mean us?”

“I wasn’t the only person to get a letter, Isaac and Dia also got one saying the same. Tommy doesn’t want to be found in case he hurts us even more. I don’t know what he means by that. I’m supposed to be picking Isaac up and then going to Dia’s to work out how we can find him.”

“But if as you say he doesn’t want to be found, what makes you think you can make it happen.”

“I know Tommy, I love him and he loves me so why wouldn’t he want me to help him?”

“Oh Adam, you’ve got two weeks before your tour resumes, what about resting so…”

“Told you not finishing the tour until I have Tommy back, it wouldn’t be the same.”

“Michael will…”

“I don’t fuckin’ care what Michael will or won’t do or say. My priority is finding _my_ Tommy Joe.” He swallowed back a sob. “Are you going to help us?” He stared at his brother who slowly nodded. “Good, now get your keys you’re driving, we’re picking Isaac up then going to Dia’s.” He was on his phone and heading towards the door before Neil had a chance to object.

They were silent on the journey to Isaac’s. It wasn’t until they were heading to Dia’s that Adam remembered he’d got Tommy’s laptop at home.

“Shit!”

“What’s wrong Adam?”

“I took Tommy’s laptop home with me last night, you said he was on it on the flight. I thought there might be something on the search history to help.”

“It would, but do you know his password?” Isaac asked.

“Damn, I forgot all about that. Guess it won’t help after all.” Adam’s shoulders slumped.

“We could always have a guess if we can’t find any way else to locate him.”

“I’m not giving up on him. I want him back.”

“We all do Adam.” Isaac squeezed his shoulder.

Dia was at the front door as the all got out of the car. “Have you boys heard from him?” It looked like she’d not slept and her eyes were red from more crying.

“I’m so sorry Dia, but no we haven’t. I’m guessing neither of you have heard anything?”

She shook her head and pulled Adam in for a hug, as both started crying again.

“Come on let’s go inside and we can discuss what we’re going to do.” Neil ushered everyone in, he hated seeing his family upset and knew that they’d need someone not directly involved with the blond to take control of the search. He knew they’d appreciate his help even if they didn’t say so.

^V^

Tommy had been wandering around the woods just outside of LA. He knew he should go far away from Adam, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He had to be near him, it was dangerous but right now he had to be where he felt safe whilst he waited for the inevitable to happen.

As he watched the sun move across the sky he wondered, not for the first time, how much it would hurt. He was hungry but he couldn’t risk going into town, he might run into any one of his or Adam’s friends.

Rummaging in his rucksack he found a lonely chocolate bar. That would have to do for now, maybe once he’d…well he’d cross that bridge later.

As he looked up, he noticed the sky was getting darker. He needed to be away from people, so he headed for the hills. He hadn’t been concentrating where he was going until he found himself behind the Hollywood sign. He smiled remembering the last time he’d been at Adam’s and looking out of the front window staring at the huge sign. He wondered if Adam was looking at it now? _Stop Ratliff you have to let him go, he’s better off without you._ He stared in what he hoped was the direction of Adam’s home and whispered into the wind that he loved him.  He yawned, he was tired, he’d been walking since just before dawn. He needed to sleep now. He didn’t know when he’d get another chance. Placing his guitar case on the ground, balling his leather jacket up and using both as a pillow, albeit not a very comfortable one, he lay down and closed his eyes. 

He didn’t know how long he slept but the pain in his legs woke him. He screamed as he tried to move thinking it was cramp. As he looked up he saw the bright full moon shining down on him. _Ok Ratliff, brace yourself this is gonna hurt._ As the pain grew he stared at his hands, he could feel the bones changing, could see what he was becoming. His spine bent one way, his arms and legs seemed to be going in the opposite direction. He screamed even more, closing his eyes against the pain. His screams got louder, something changed, the sound was different, more like…a howl! He didn’t feel anymore pain. He dared to open his eyes. What he saw made him want to cry. He didn’t have the cute nose as Adam called it, it was a snout. His arms had fur and paws and looking back his legs were the same. What the…? He had a tail. He swished it from side to side. If the situation hadn’t been as scary as fuck he would have laughed. As it was he began shaking, so this is what his life was going to be like from now on?

He lay down head on his front paws, shaking from the tips of his ears to the end of his tail. He wanted to cry. A sound escaped his mouth that was a cross between a sob and a howl. If that was how a wolf cried he’d take that. He let out another and another until he couldn’t distinguish one from the next. He only stopped when a cold nose nudged his neck.

Springing up, he was ready to attack, he came face to face with the blue eyed grey wolf he’d seen from his bedroom window.

^V^

The grey wolf stared at him, was it going to attack, was he on its territory. He knew from his research that wolves were pack animals and didn’t like when a stranger tried to join them. He watched, rooted to the spot as the grey wolf approached him. His instinct was to run but if he did would the creature chase after him? Would he survive an attack from it? He didn’t know how to fight. Tommy the human wasn’t a fighter.

Tommy froze as the wolf slowly paced around him, sniffing at him as it went. What was going through its mind…that Tommy was lunch? He snorted, don’t be stupid wolves don’t eat each other…do they?

The grey wolf stopped in front of him and sat down. _Well that’s not what I expected._ Tommy sat also. The grey wolf cocked its head to one side then the other, its eyes locked on Tommy. He mirrored the movements hoping to portray that he was friendly not an enemy. The grey wolf lay down, still not taking its eyes from Tommy. He did the same, he was confused, why hadn’t this beautiful creature attacked (yes he thought it was beautiful and had done since he’d seen it from his bedroom window). The grey wolf made a noise that seemed to Tommy a cross between a bark and a growl. He sat up but his companion remained lying down. It made the noise again, Tommy wished he knew what it meant.

Slowly he stood, never taking his eyes from the other wolf. He moved closer sniffing as he had seen it do. The grey wolf never moved, it allowed Tommy to explore the scent. It wasn’t until Tommy was back facing it, did it rise to a sitting position. Tommy stopped and stared, the blue eyes reminded him so much of Adam. Why had this happened to him? Why now? When things with his boyfriend were starting out? He sighed and realised a tear was running down his snout. He was startled, he didn’t know wolves could cry. The grey wolf noticed and was gently nudging Tommy. He lay down, he missed everyone, what was going to happen to him.

The grey wolf recognised sadness in Tommy’s eyes and very gently began licking the tears away. Tommy froze, what the…? But it was comforting rather than scary. It was like when his mother used to brush away his tears when he’d hurt himself. That brought more tears, remembering the note he’d left for her. What must she be going through? His new friend sensed the hurt and lay down beside him. It’s closeness and warmth soothed Tommy and he closed his eyes. He was tired and needed to sleep.

When he woke again it took him a while to remember where he was. He could smell blood. Had he hurt himself? Was he back in hospital? Then he remembered what had happened a few hours earlier. His eyes sprang open, yep there was still a snout and paws. But there was a dead rabbit in front of him. Who…what…? Remembering his new friend he sat up and looked around, sure enough it was sitting not far from him also with a dead rabbit in front of it.

Tommy cocked his head to one side, he was desperate for answers but right now he couldn’t ask anything, he couldn’t talk.

The wolf, watching him leant down and pushed the rabbit with its nose, indicating it wanted Tommy to look at the one he had. Tommy didn’t know whether to watch or throw up. He wasn’t a big eater of rabbit and certainly one that hadn’t been cooked first. But his stomach growled. He’d been hungry before he’d _changed_ and he was definitely hungry now.

He watched some more as his new friend placed a paw on the rabbit then ripped some of the flesh with its sharp teeth, before eating that and then attacking it some more.

Tommy’s stomach growled again. _Oh what the fuck Ratliff you’ve got to get used to this. It’s now or starve._ He mimicked the way the grey wolf had held the rabbit and then bit into it. He expected it to be disgusting, but he was rather surprised that it tasted really good. His hunger needed satisfying and within a few minutes the rabbit had been consumed. Rather than throwing up he felt so much better. He looked to where his new friend was sitting noticing it’s food had all gone too.

He yawned, wow he was tired again. If this was what a wolf did all the time then he’d soon catch up on all the sleep he’d missed through his years of insomnia. He lay down again, this time the grey wolf remained away from him. He was a little disappointed but too tired to care. No sooner as his eyes closed he was asleep.

^V^

Adam slammed his hand down on Dia’s breakfast bar. “Where the fuck is he?”

“Adam honey, it’s no good getting mad, that’s not going to help us find him any quicker.” Dia wrapped her arms around Adam’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry Dia, we’ve been at this all day and none of us are any the wiser as to why he’s gone or where he is.”

“We need a break. Anyone for food?”

Isaac, Lisa and Dia all agreed with Neil that now was a good time to break for food.

“Nothing for me.”

“Adam you have to eat.”

“When I find Tommy Joe.”

“Oh and what if we don’t?”

Adam was at Neil, grabbing his shirt collar in his hands, the two brothers nose to nose.

“Don’t _ever_ say that again Neil, we will find Tommy _I_ will find him.” He let go and was heading to the door.

“And where to do you think you’re going bossman?”

“Out to look for Tommy.”

Isaac ran to the front door barring his friends’ way. “Oh no you don’t it’s 10 o’clock at night, we’re all hungry…” right on cue Adam’s stomach grumbled. “…there, you see, even you’re hungry. We’re all tired from ringing around his friends, our friends and no-one is going to be able to see in the dark. So…let’s calm down, let Neil go get us take out, and then we can sleep and start again in the morning. Please Adam you’ll make yourself ill if you don’t, then what would we do without you?”

“But…”

“No but’s Adam, come on, please for Tommy if not for me.” Isaac squeezed Adam’s arm.

“Tommy’s not here.”

“We know, and it hurts like hell. He must have had a good reason to leave.”

“Then why couldn’t he talk to me, you, Dia or anyone before running off like this?”

“We all know TJ does things then over thinks afterwards. Maybe if we give him some time he’ll come back.”

“But…but what if he doesn’t?” Adam’s tears started again, Isaac pulled him close. “I…I don’t think I can go on without him.”

“Oh Adam, we’ll find him, we just have to believe he’s thinking about what he’s done and then realises he needs to talk to us, so he’ll come back.”

“I…(sniff) I hope so.”

Isaac led his friend back to the others. “So are we agreed that we send Neil for take out?” Isaac looked from everyone to Adam, who all nodded, even Adam.

“Great what do we all want?”

After much discussion Neil was sent for Chinese. While he was gone Dia put more coffee on then sat holding tightly to Adam.

“I love him Dia.”

“I know you do sweetie and I know my son loves you.”

“Then why…?”

“He must have had a good reason, one that he was maybe too scared to talk to anyone about.”

“I would have helped him.”

“I know, and so would everyone in this room. We’re his family, everyone of us.” She looked at Isaac who smiled and nodded.

As they waited for Neil to come back Adam rang their friends again. Still none of them had seen or heard from the blond, but each one promised to ring if ever TJ contacted them.

The meal was a quiet affair, each person thinking of all the places Tommy would go. They were all certain of one thing, he’d still be in LA as he didn’t like flying, besides they knew he hadn’t taken his passport with him. Isaac remembered seeing it on the hall table with his car keys. That seemed to ease Adam slightly knowing he could still be in the area.

As Dia and Lisa were cleaning everything away, Adam shouted making everyone jump.

“YES!”

Mother and daughter came running from the kitchen, Neil and Isaac stopped mid conversation, all four stared at Adam.

“Yes what?”

“I have an idea.”

“Oh shit, what now?”

“Thanks brother, I need your charm and wit and bargaining powers to help me.”

“Crap, I hate when he says things like that.”

“Neil!”

“K, ok what do you want me to do?”

“You said we have a meeting with Michael at ten in the morning.”

“Yes…and…?”

“And you’re going to ring him first thing and tell him…not ask, tell…we want a press conference setting up for 10.30 at his office. Don’t tell him what for…”

“But what if he asks?”

“Then tell him it’s publicity for my tour.”

“But you said you were going to…”

“I know but he’s not going to know that until after the press conference.”

“What were…are you going to do?”

“I’m not finishing my tour until Tommy’s back and I’m going to get him back by doing this conference.”

“But…”

“Nope, no buts. I’m sure Tommy Joe will be where there’s a TV you know what he’s like for watching those horror programmes. I’m going to tell him everything is ok and we all love him and whatever it is bothering him we’ll sort it out when he comes home.”

“Michael won’t…”

“If Michael knows what’s good for him he will.” Adam smiled for the first time all day.

“Oh Adam, I hope you’re right. When Thomas gets home tell him I want to help too.”

“We all do Dia.” Adam hugged her.

“So Neil, at 8.30, because I know Michael will be at work then, you are going to ring him and tell him we want that press conference.” Adam waited. “Neil?”

“Yeah, ok I’ll ring him, but he’s not going to be happy.”

“I don’t fucking care if he’s happy or not I just want Tommy home and I’m going to do that however I can.”

“On your head be it.”

“However he want’s to play this I’m with you Adam.”

“Thanks Isaac, you’re a good friend.”

“In which case, shouldn’t we leave these two beautiful ladies to get some sleep.”

“You can stay here if you want.”

“Thanks Dia, but I want to get home to Sophie.”

“And I want to put a few ideas together for our meeting tomorrow.”

“Ok boys, but remember we’ll help in anyway we can.”

Adam hugged first Lisa then Dia, holding on tightly to her. “We’ll get him home. I promise.”

“I know, thank you.”

“I love him Dia and nothing is going to break that.” He kissed her cheek then the three of them left.

They were silent on the way to Isaac’s, Adam smiling when Sophie opened the door and clung on to her husband.

When they arrived at Adam’s he headed for his study.

“You should get some sleep too Adam.”

“I will do as soon as I’ve made some notes for tomorrow.”

“Ok, if you don’t mind I’ll stay in the spare room.”

“Of course I don’t mind, goodnight Neil.”

“Goodnight.”

“Oh Neil…”

Neil turned to look at his brother. “Mmmm?”

“Thank you.”

“That’s what brothers are for.” He smiled before heading up the stairs.

Adam read Tommy’s letter again before deciding he’d be better just saying what was in his heart rather than reading anything he’d written.

As he headed to bed he heard wolves howling in the distance, wolves were beautiful creatures whether they were were’s or not.

^V^

The light behind his eyelids woke him. He was cold, his neck ached and he could feel a gentle breeze on his face. Tommy’s eyes snapped open. What the fuck? He’d changed back and someone had dressed him. Surely when a werewolf changes back to human they lose their clothes…don’t they? He slowly looked around, a breath he didn’t realise he was holding escaped his mouth. He was alone. He felt sad that the other wolf had gone but pleased that it had been with him the previous night and helped him feed.

Slowly he pulled himself to a sitting position all the while looking around for anyone who may be close enough to see him and wonder what a lone man was doing sleeping outside. Seeing his rucksack and guitar case still where he’d left them he smiled. About to stand and head off he was suddenly aware of someone watching him. Slowly turning he came face to face with a blonde girl.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” She slowly moved towards him.

“You…you didn’t. I’m just surprised to see anyone else out here.”

“I…I had to make sure you were ok…you know after…well after last night.” She smiled.

Tommy realised then who she was. “You’re the grey wolf aren’t you?” she nodded, shyly. “Thank you.”

“Oh, what for?”

“For starters, getting that rabbit for me and…well and staying with me. I…phew this is difficult…I was terrified and well you…”

“It’s not a problem Tommy.” She blushed.

“You…you know who I am?” He was stunned to know that he’d been recognised.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. What’s your name?”

“Ciara.” She blushed again.

“Well then Ciara, it’s very nice to meet you. But how did you know who I was?”

“I…I’ve seen you play for Adam Lambert many times. The first time on that TV programme when you were vampires. Pretty Little Liars.”

Tommy laughed. “We had great fun doing that, Adam loves playing vampires.” He stopped, staring into the distance towards the direction of Adam’s house.

“Are you ok?”

“What…sorry…I don’t know.”

“Please don’t think this too forward of me, but would you like to go for a coffee? It’s much better to talk whilst inside drinking coffee.” She smiled.

“A coffee sounds good, thank you. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” She picked his guitar up as Tommy put his bag on his back.

“Was that you the other night in my garden, and why are you helping me?” Ciara laughed. “What’s funny, have I said…?”

She put a finger over his lips to quieten him. “Tommy I was laughing because you said _a_ question and you asked two.”

“I’m sorry, I’m…”

“Look let’s go get that coffee and we can talk properly.”

“I’d rather not go into town, I…”

“Don’t worry, I have a place not far from here, we can go there.”

“Oh…you…”

She laughed again. “What? You think because we’re were’s we don’t live in houses. Do you think we live in the parks and wooded areas all the time?”

It was Tommy’s turn to blush. “I’m sorry I…well I didn’t know what to expect. I’m rather new at this werewolf lark.”

“Stop apologising, I’m sure you have a tonne of questions. Come on you can ask as many as you want, but I for one need coffee first thing in a morning, otherwise I’m no good to anyone.” She giggled, and for the first time in a few days Tommy laughed too. “You have a beautiful laugh Tommy, no wonder Adam loves you.”

“How, I never…but…”

“We can all see in your performances what you mean to each other. Which begs me to ask, why aren’t you down there with him, where you belong.”

Tommy stopped walking. “I…I don’t want to hurt him…because I love him so much.”

Ciara stopped, then going back to him she put her arm through his. “And you leaving like this isn’t hurting him?” She looked at the beautiful brown eyes seeing sadness in them. “Look, let’s go, I’m sure Oli will have coffee and breakfast on, then we can all talk. You can stay with us as long as you want.”

Tommy looked at her. “Thank you. Who’s Oli?”

“My boyfriend and before you ask, no he’s not were, he’s human.” Tommy was lost for words. “Tommy you don’t have to be scared. Come on, I’m sure you have more questions now?”

He nodded then allowed himself to be steered towards Ciara’s home.

As they got closer Tommy heard laughter and shouting and looked at his new friend with concern.

“Don’t worry, they’re just the rest of our pack. We all live in the same house.”

As they crested the hill he could see a beautiful white stone building that would not have been out of place next to Adam’s home. The garden had a swimming pool and the laughter he’d heard was from people splashing around in what looked like a messy water polo match.

Ciara laughed. “I see the boys haven’t taken losing very well. They played us girls yesterday and we beat them. Looks like they’ve demanded a re-match.”

The shouting stopped as Ciara and Tommy headed down to the garden. Tommy was wary, what if they thought he was in intruder.

Ciara sensed his trepidation. “It’s ok, they know I’m bringing you here. Besides no-one does anything without my say so.”

“So um…you’re the erm…”

“Yes, I’m their Alpha.”

“But I thought the Alpha had to be male?”

“That was centuries ago. This is the 21st Century and even were’s move with the times.”

“Oh…I…m’sorry.”

“Stop apologising. It’s scary not knowing what’s happening to you. I bet you read everything you could on line?” Tommy nodded. “Don’t believe everything you read. Come on smells like bacon is ready.”

Tommy’s stomach grumbled. He sniffed the air. His sense of smell heightened by the events of the previous night.

As they crossed the garden, shouts of hello and glad you’re ok greeted them. Tommy smiled at them not really knowing what to say.

Ciara finally released his arm as they entered the house.

“Wow this is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” A voice startled Tommy from behind.

He watched as Ciara ran over to the dark haired man, throwing her arms around him and kissing him. As she pulled away. “Oli, this is Tommy, Tommy meet Oliver my boyfriend.”

“Hi Oliver.” Tommy went to shake his hand.

“Hi Tommy, and please only my mom calls me Oliver. It’s Oli.”

“K, Oli.”

“Now how do you like bacon.”

“I love it thank you and if it’s crispy all the better.”

Oli laughed. “Finally a man after my own heart. This woman here doesn’t approve of  _charred_ bacon as she calls it. Prefers to see it’s colour and not break her teeth!. How she eats rabbit and deer after she’s caught them I don’t know. Surely they’d break your teeth more?” Shaking his head he headed back to the kitchen. Tommy stood with his mouth open, staring after him.

“Oh Tommy, relax, it’s not so bad being a were and living with a human. I’ve been with Oli since just after I changed, he doesn’t mind. Besides…” her voice dropped to a whisper. “…our sex life is awesome, the things you can do for each other are…well I’m sure you and Adam will find that out.”

“No…we won’t…I’m, well I’m not going back.”

“Tommy you have to. He’s going to be hurt more if you don’t explain.”

“I can’t go back. He wouldn’t want me like this. Besides what if…if I can’t control myself and I bite him, he wouldn’t want to be a were, I know it.”

“Tommy you have to tell him, give him the choice of staying with you.”

“No, I’ve made up my mind he’s better off without me.”

“Bacon’s ready.”

“Come on let’s eat before it goes cold then we can talk.”

Tommy followed her to the kitchen. They ate, chatting about how long Oli had know Ciara, how long they’d lived in their amazing house and how they’d got all the others living with them. Oli even told him that in a months time at the next full moon Ciara and he were going to seal their relationship by _marking_.

“What does that mean?” Tommy felt silly for asking, but all this was new to him and nothing he’d read mentioned it.

“It means that Ciara is going to bite me here.” Oli pointed to the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “That will tell other were’s to stay away from me as I have a mate. And if she does it whilst we’re making love the sensation for both of us will be off the scale.”

Tommy blushed. “Oli you’ve embarrassed him.”

“Sorry Tommy, but I for one am really looking forward to that.” He busied himself clearing the table. “Look why don’t you both go sit in the lounge I’ll bring more coffee through and Ciara can answer any question you no doubt have.”

“Thanks for amazing bacon. I didn’t realise I was hungry, and more coffee sounds great. I promise once I get my head together I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You don’t have to, we have plenty of room.”

“I know and thank you, but I really don’t want Adam to know I’m still in LA. I…I couldn’t bear to see him knowing what I am now.”

“Come on Tommy, let’s go talk. It may not be as bad as you think.” Ciara put her arm around his shoulder and led him into the other room.

^V^

Tommy was quiet, listening to the sounds going on outside, the laughter and the shouts, reminding him of the good times he’d had with Adam and their families.

“Penny for them Tommy.”

“What, oh m’sorry, I was just thinking.”

“That can be dangerous.” Ciara laughed.

“Isaac used to tell me the same.”

“Is that the drummer?”

“Yeah he is. Wow you do know who we all are.” He tried to smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Told you, I’ve loved listening and watching you all play together since you first started. That’s why I can’t understand why you won’t tell Adam that your accident resulted in you being…”

“I can’t, he’d hate me, think it was all my fault.”

Oli had come back with the coffee. “How do you know he’d say it was your fault?”

“We’d argued, I left him in the hotel and went for a walk. We’d been told not to go to Central Park at night, plus the previous show had seen us escorted back to the bus because were’s were going crazy for us. I…well I didn’t care where I was walking, I just had to get away, get some air. I ended up in Central Park because it was peaceful and I just needed to be on my own. Then I was followed and attacked. I had an idea who, what it was but didn’t tell anyone as I thought they’d tell me not to be stupid. I later realised I’d been right when I looked at the scar on my neck and my eyes had turned a more golden brown. I was scared that Adam would tell me to leave, to stay in LA as he wouldn’t want me attacking anyone.” He wiped away tears that were now freely running down his face. “I know from stuff I’d heard that were’s heal quickly and when I looked at my back and neck and only saw stitches but no wounds I knew for certain what it was the attacked me. So on the flight home I did some research and knew then I couldn’t stay. So…” he sighed, Ciara and Oli waiting for him to continue.

“…so I packed a few things, my guitar which was a present from my dad, and left. I made sure that no-one would try to find me, I left notes for my mom, Isaac and Adam. I told them I didn’t want to hurt them and not to come looking for me, it’d be better that way. And, well the rest you know about considering you’ve been watching me.” He drank the now cooling mug of coffee waiting for someone to shout at him, tell him to leave. But Ciara and Oli just waited and watched.

“Aren’t you going to tell me I’m stupid and I’d be better off on my own?”

“Oh Tommy. That’s the last thing anyone of us is going to do. We help each other here and we’re going to help you.”

“I do have a question, well two.”

Ciara laughed. “Go on ask away.”

“How…how did you know I was going to…to change and why do you want to help me? I’m no-one special.”

“Tommy you are special, we all are, and you more than us. You have an exceptional talent, you have a beautiful man who loves you and please don’t deny you love him too.” She saw Tommy blush at the mention of Adam. “As to how I knew where to find you and that you were going to become a were. The person who attacked you was caught by the New York pack later that morning and was questioned about why they did it. They said they’d seen you and Adam perform and was jealous of Adam having you as a mate. They wanted you for themselves and thought by making you a werewolf you’d stay in New York and become their mate. When they realised you had left and come back here they got angry and tried to kill another pack member. After a lot of questions and finally admitting everything the New York Alpha contacted me and asked me to help.”

“What…what happened to the person who attacked me?”

“Let’s just say she won’t be attacking anyone else ever again.”

“You mean…” Tommy looked at Ciara.

“I’m sorry Tommy, but yes, it was the only thing to do. She…well she got a head start before the pack caught up with her and killed her.”

“Fuck! M’sorry, but that’s horrible.”

“To humans yes, but it’s the way of the were’s. If someone attacks another were or a human in the way she did, well it’s like having the death penalty for murder in some states.”

“Couldn’t…well couldn’t she have been sent to prison?”

“Can you imagine an animal being locked in a small cage when they’re used to roaming free? They go mad and eventually that madness takes over and they end up killing themselves. This way it’s more humane. It’s been that way for centuries.” Tommy was lost for words. “Are you ok?”

“I’m still trying to process everything you’ve just told me. I…wow it’s a lot to understand. I still don’t know though why you want to help me.”

“I understand it’s a lot to process and the reason I want to help, well that’s simple. I had help when I changed, then I met Oli who loves me no matter what. When I became Alpha it became my duty to help new were’s. Plus you and Adam are so fucking hot together, I want to see you reconciled.” She smiled.

“Already told you, that’s not gonna happen. But thank you for allowing me to stay whilst I get my shit together.”

“You can stay as long as you like, we’re not going to tell you to leave. Besides we’d all love to hear you play for us. As for the Adam situation it’s up to you what you eventually decide but whatever it is we’ll help you. Just promise me you’ll think about it all before you make a final decision. I’m sure Oli wouldn’t mind telling you stuff from a human point of view.” She squeezed her boyfriend’s hand.

“Not at all. I’ll answer any questions you have.”

“Thank you, but I’ve made up my mind.” He stood. “Now if you don’t mind I’m gonna go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Sure, and when you get back, I’ll show you where you can sleep, plus we can get rid of those stitches you have down your back. I’m assuming they are still there?” Tommy nodded. “That’s settled, see you soon.”

“Thanks. I…I do have one more question.”

“Ok.”

“Do, I…well…change every night? Is this my life from now on?”

“No Tommy, you don’t change every night, every time there’s a full moon you will but we can help you, teach you to be able to change at your own will.”

“So…so I’m gonna go through that pain again tonight?”

“It won’t be as bad as last night plus we’ll be here to help.”

“K, thanks. Now if you don’t mind I…”

“Not at all. It’s been one hell of a couple of days for you. But will you do something for me?”

“Sure, if I can.”

“Don’t go from the property, we don’t want you getting lost and…think about what we said about Adam.” He went to say something, “no, don’t say he’s better without you…just think about everything…please.”

“K, but I won’t change my mind.” He half smiled then left.

Ciara held on to Oli. “He’s hurting sweetheart.”

“I know he is.”

“He’ll need time, and I’ll try and talk to him alone. Tell him what it’s like from a human perspective.”

“That’s why I love you so much Oliver. You are the best boyfriend anyone can have.”

“And I’m yours, and always will be. I’m looking forward to you marking me, telling everyone I belong to you.” He kissed her.

“And here’s me thinking it was the amazing sex we have.”

“Mmm, that as well my love.” He kissed her again, but was interrupted when one of the young girls ran into the room.

“Ciara, Oli, you have to put the…Oh sorry.”

Breaking apart laughing. “What is it Stacey?”

“I’m sorry, but you have to put the television on, Adam Lambert’s on TV and he’s talking about Tommy Joe Ratliff. That _was_ who you brought here this morning, wasn’t it?”

Oli went to switch the TV on.

“Yes Stacey it was. Oli, you’d better record whatever he’s saying, we can play it to Tommy when he gets back.”

Oliver and Ciara sat and listened to a heartbroken man pleading for his boyfriend to come home.

 

Tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Neil had managed to persuade Michael to set up the press conference. When he’d asked Neil why and what it was in aid of, all Neil had told him was Adam had wanted to thank his fans and remind them to get their tickets for the next leg of his tour. Neil had thanked every God under the sun for not having to explain all this to Michael face to face as he knew his facial expressions and body language would have given him away.

As it was the brothers were now on their way to the label’s offices. Adam, eyes closed, formatting in his mind what he was going to say. Neil praying that once Michael realised what was going on wouldn’t try to stop Adam from talking. Even though the brothers argued, Neil was very protective of his older sibling and would do anything to make sure he got the message out, hoping the blond would somehow be able to see it.

“Adam, we’re here.” Neil pulled into the parking lot.

“Thanks…for everything.”

“That’s what brothers are for.” He turned to face a tired looking man.

“I know we don’t always see eye to eye but…”

“Adam, stop. I know how much you love Tommy and I want to see the pair of you happy, so I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you two get back together.”

“Thanks.” Adam pulled him in for a hug.

“Besides I’ve gotten used to having him around, even though some of the images you paint, in my mind make me shudder.”

“Thanks bro.” Adam smiled but Neil noticed it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You ready to face the press?”

“Sure. You have to promise me that whatever I say, Michael doesn’t do anything to stop me.”

“You have my word. If I have to get security to restrain him I will.”

“Thanks. Listen, I don’t often say this but I love you Neil, you’re a great guy and a fantastic brother.”

“Aww shucks, does that mean I can have a pay rise?” He grinned.

“Wouldn’t go that far, besides payment enough should be having me as your amazing brother.”

“Mmmm we’ll discuss this more later.” He laughed as they got out of the car. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. And I mean it, thanks for everything Neil.”

“Let’s get Tommy Joe home then you can thank me again.” Wrapping his arm around his brothers’ shoulders Neil guided a shaking Adam into the building.

Michael was waiting for them in the foyer. “What’s this all about Adam.”

“Good morning to you too.” Adam wasn’t in the mood for Michael’s abruptness.

“I asked you a question, I’d like an answer.”

“Is the conference set up?” Neil was hoping they were ready to go, he didn’t want an argument breaking out where everyone would witness it. That really would be a newsworthy item.

“Yes it’s ready, they’re all set in the conference room. But I want to know what you’re going to say first.”

“Nope, you’ll find out when everyone else does. Besides, Neil told you this morning what it was about.”

“Adam, we both know people have gone crazy getting their tickets and there aren’t that many left, so it’s got to be something else.”

“And you’ll know when everyone else knows.” Adam went to walk off in the direction of the conference room. But Michael grabbed his arm. “Get your hands off me!” Adam pulled his arm away.

“You tell me or I cancel the press conference.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let Adam do this. I’m not going to allow you to stop him and if I have to call security I will.” Neil glared at the exec before following his brother.

All three arrived at the doors of the conference room. Adam, his hand on the handle, taking deep breaths before he opened it.

“You ok Adam?” Neil squeezed his shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s get this over with. And keep _him_ away from me.” He glared at Michael.

“You got it.” Neil watched as Adam took one more deep breath then entered the room, camera’s flashing as he went to sit down.

“He looks like death warmed up, what’s going on Neil?”

“You’ll find out. Now not another word, you let him speak or else I’ll have you removed.” He also glared at Michael.

They both entered, remaining just inside the door.

“Adam, my name is James, I’m from The Los Angeles Times, can you tell us how your tour’s going?”

“James, thank you for your question, so far it’s great, but I have something I’d like to say. So if none of you mind I’d just like to say what’s on my mind and leave the questions until later. I’m sure when you’ve heard what I have to say you’ll want to help in any way you can.”

A hush fell over the room. Adam spotted people from the TV and other media glancing questioningly at each other.

“Ladies and gentlemen do I have your promise not to interrupt me?” A chorus of “yes” came from around the room. Adam smiled.

“Thank you.” He took a final deep breath, glanced at Neil who nodded and smiled then began.

“Thank you for agreeing to be here this morning at such short notice, but I have an appeal to make to someone very special to me, and this was the only way I could think of to get that message to him.” Adam reached for the glass of water at the side of him.

“What the hell is he on about Neil?”

“Shut the fuck up and listen.” Neil whispered in Michael's ear.

“A few days ago…” Adam began. “my amazing band, my dancers and I were in New York. We’d finished our first concert there and were due to fly home a couple of days later after our final gig. I won’t go into details but I foolishly argued with my beautiful guitarist Tommy Joe Ratliff.”

“So that’s what this is about? I kept telling Adam that twink was no good for his reputation!”

Neil grabbed Michael’s arm. “If you can’t shut the fuck up, I’m telling you to leave.” Michael went to say something but Neil tightened his grip.

Adam wiped his eyes, he could feel tears beginning but he had to finish his plea first. “It was my fault we argued and it ended with Tommy Joe leaving the hotel. I waited for him but he never came back. What we found out early the following morning was that he had been mugged in Central Park. Thankfully they didn’t get anything as he’d left his wallet and phone at the hotel. He was however taken to hospital, patched up…” Adam half smiled remembering Tommy’s insistence he was ok. “…and allowed back to the hotel. The Doc even said he could play that night as long as there was no headbanging.” A nervous laugh went around the room, the press knowing Tommy’s reputation.

Adam drank more water. “After the concert I made sure Tommy was ok and he obeyed all the instructions the doc gave him. We arrived back in LA a couple of days ago and Tommy and I were going to spend some time together, you see we have both been stupid, one of the reasons we argued, well we realised that we wanted to be together as a couple.” Quiet cheers echoed around the room together with Michael’s comment of “Fuck no.” which Neil stopped him going further by tightening the hold he had on his arm.

“Thank you for your positivity of us being together, it means a lot to me. But I expect you’re now wondering what this is about and why my Tommy Joe isn’t here. He was due to stay at my house yesterday but he didn’t turn up. I was then contacted by his sister who’d been trying to ring him but got no answer.” He drank more water, his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth he was so upset. “To cut a long story short neither she nor their mom had heard from him. I rang Isaac Carpenter who hadn’t seen him either. The upshot is we went around to Tommy’s, and when we got there we found his passport, car keys and cellphone on the hall table but no Tommy. We also found a letter for each of us. On reading these letters Tommy said he had to get away as he didn’t want to hurt us anymore than he already has and not to try looking for him. But I can’t do that. I miss him and just want him to come home. So please Tommy if you’re watching this…please come back to me, whatever made you leave I’m sure we can sort it out. Come home and talk to me baby please…I love you, I need to know you’re ok and if you love me like you say you do then let’s talk and I’m sure that no matter what made you leave we can sort it out. Make it right again.” He now wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“Do…do any of you have any questions?” He waited, silence filled the room. Some of the women in the room sniffed and Neil was certain a few of the men did too.

James raised his hand. “I’m so sorry to hear this Adam, I’m sure I speak for everyone here today when I say thank you for sharing that and I hope that we can do our small part in getting Tommy home to you.” A mutter of agreement came from all the journalists.

“Thank you James. Thank you all for being here. I do have one more thing to say.” He looked to where Neil and Michael were standing. “I just want to apologise to my fans but for now the remainder of my concert tour is on hold. If you have your tickets please keep hold of them because as soon as Tommy is back with us we will be resuming the concerts and _ALL_ your tickets will be valid.” He nodded his thanks then left the room, Neil and Michael closely on his heels.

“My office now!” Michael stormed up the stairs.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“I knew he wouldn’t take that last part lying down but I’m not changing my mind. I’m waiting until Tommy’s home.” He followed Michael up the stairs.

“I’m right with you whatever you decide I’ll back you up.” Neil said breathlessly as he ran up the stairs following Adam.

“Thank you little brother, for everything.”

They’d reached Michael’s office, the door wide open, the man pacing up and down. “Well don’t stand outside get your arses in her and tell me what the fuck that was all about!”

^V^

“You heard me perfectly well Michael. I’m not resuming my tour until Tommy is home.” Adam gripped the back of a chair so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“Fuck that. You will continue with your tour, you have an obligation to uphold. Besides there are plenty more better guitarists out there wanting work, we’ll soon find one to replace that…that…”

“That what Michael? You can’t even say his name can you. You never did like Tommy Joe did you?”

“Honestly? No I didn’t, all he ever wanted was to be with a guy who was famous, he is a twink Adam and you can’t say he’s good at playing.”

Adam was around the desk in very few strides. Grabbing hold of Michael’s collar pulling him to his feet. “Tommy Joe is not a twink, he’s a beautiful, sensitive man who is an amazing musician and who I love very much. He’s out there somewhere, alone, afraid. Something has happened to him that’s scared him and I want to help him. If that means postponing my tour indefinitely then that’s what I’ll do.” He glared at Michael before letting him go, watching as the man dropped back into his seat.

Adam rubbed his eyes, took a deep breath then moved to look out the window at the LA landscape.

“Neil as his brother, talk some sense into him…please.”

“Sorry Michael, but I’m with Adam. Tommy could be hurt somewhere, maybe that plea will help us find him. Until we know anything for certain, I agree the tour is going to have to wait.” He looked at his brother, shoulders slumped, breaths coming in short gasps.

“What am I going to tell my Directors? That a cheap guitarist has disappeared and our biggest artist won’t continue until…”

Michael didn’t have a chance to say anything further, Adam had punched him, made his lip bleed.

“You’re an asshole Michael. All you’re ever thinking about is money. Well fuck you and fuck the Directors. I’m not resuming anything until I get my boyfriend back. As for Tommy being cheap…He’s worth more than you and all the Directors put together.” He headed for the door. “Oh and one more thing. Don’t you ever tell me who I can see and fall in love with. I don’t tell you, so until you understand that everything I’ve said today is what is going to happen I don’t want to hear from you or anyone connected to you.” He exited the office leaving Michael staring after him.

Neil went to follow.

“Neil, I’m giving Adam a few days to calm down then I want to see you both in my office to sort this mess out. If…if he refuses then I’ll have the label’s lawyers sue him for breach of contract and believe me that won’t be pretty. Oh and I’ll make sure no other label will touch him. Then where will he and the rest of you be?” He wiped blood from his lip as he smiled at Neil.

“Neither Adam or I will take your threats seriously. We can get our lawyers involved too. But I’ll talk to him and try to get him to come and speak to you in a couple of days. I’m not promising anything, I know how stubborn my brother can be. If you hadn’t realised it by now, once my brother gets and idea in his head it’s going to take a wrecking ball to move it.” He turned and followed Adam out to the car.

Neil caught up with him. “ Well done!”

“Fuck him!”

“He’s just threatened to sue you for breach of contract if we don’t meet with him in a few days.”

“Let him, I don’t care.”

Neil grabbed his brothers’ arm to stop him walking away. “Listen to me Adam, if he goes through with his threats no-one is going to want to sign you…ever.”

Adam stopped walking. “I can’t…not without Tommy. I need him Neil, I love him so very much.”

“I know, and we’ll find him. You just have to bite your tongue and play nice with Michael…for now.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“I…I wanted to wait until the tour was over to tell you, but…”

“But what Neil?”

“I’ve been consulting our lawyers and have had them look into a new contract with a new label. I’ve not been impressed with how Michael and the company have handled everything. This past 18 months he’s had you working none stop. And before you say anything I know you’re a workaholic, but there comes a point when even you need a break and this two week break isn’t enough. Look how he wanted you to do an acoustic tour promoting an already promoted album.”

“Why…fuck Neil, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Firstly I didn’t want you to worry. Secondly I wanted the new contract all ready to be signed when we finished the tour. I know how much this new album means to you, but you need to have more of a life outside writing, recording and touring. You need you time, even more so now you have Tommy.”

“You should have told me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“Ok, so how long is this going to take?”

“I’m not sure. I spoke to the lawyers when we were in New York and they are just going over the final details of the new contract then they were going to email it to me and to get you to read it too. All we have to do right now is keep Michael on our side. We don’t want him finding out about this new deal and putting a stop to everything we’ve already worked for.”

“But that means I’m going to have to…”

“Before you bite my head off, I know it’s not going to be the same without Tommy but we will find him. For now will you just think of doing the California leg of your tour with another musician?”

“I…I don’t want Tommy to think we’ve abandoned him.”

“He won’t, I’ve had an idea.”

“Oh crap, that is not a good look on you little brother!” Adam half smiled.

“Gee thanks, I love you too.”

“I know you do.” He looked up to see Michael watching them from his office window. We’re being watched.”

“So all the better to make this look good. I want you to look as though we’re arguing.”

“K, I can do that.”

“What if we go back to him in say 3 or 4 days and agree to using a different guitarist. That way we can still look for TJ and you get to continue this leg of the tour.”

Adam sighed. “Ok, but I’m not going any further afield until Tommy Joe is back.”

“I agree. Now let’s give Michael something to watch.” He smiled and winked at his brother as they began _arguing_ about what take out they were having for dinner that night.

From his office, Michael watched as the brothers’ argued. He noticed Neil firmly holding onto Adam’s arm. He was just disappointed he couldn’t hear what they were saying.

^V^

Tommy wandered around the grounds. He marvelled at how beautiful the flowers were. He’d never really been one for gardening but he knew his mother liked to potter around in hers. He laughed as he avoided being splashed by the youngsters in the pool and declined their offer to join them. He was sitting on the bench in the shade when Oli brought him a cold beer.

“I thought you might like this.”

“Thanks.” Tommy took it swallowing a long cool mouthful.

“Have you manged to get you head around things?”

“Some stuff…yeah. But there’s some that’s scaring the shit out of me. I’m…I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“You’ve got a lovely place here. The last thing you need is me, busting in on your lives.”

“Tommy, it’s what we’re here for. You see everyone in the garden?” Tommy nodded. “Well when Ciara and I arrived there was no-one but us and Stacey…she’s one of the teenagers. Well since we moved in everyone has joined us because they’ve been abandoned by their human families or they’re here until their shifting has calmed down sufficiently for them to control it. Once they’ve done that they’ll go back to their human families. There are also the odd one or two who have asked to remain here and help Ciara and I…like…well they’re kind of mentors, if you see what I mean. They help people with their transitions into were’s. So Tommy you don’t have to leave, you have a home here for as long as you want.”

“Doesn’t being around so many were’s scare you?”

“I thought it would until I met Ciara. She’s the most beautiful wolf I’ve ever laid eyes on. She’s beautiful as a human too, but when her wolf came out…I…I knew instantly I loved both sides of her.”

Tommy watched as Oli smiled thinking about the grey wolf. “You really do love her don’t you?” He blushed. “I’m…m’sorry, tell me to mind my own business.”

“Yes I do and stop worrying, you can ask anything. We just want to help you.”

“Thank you.”

“Why don’t you come inside and the three of us can talk. You can ask anything you want, and we’ll try to help you. Besides Ciara wants to help you with your transformation tonight and she’d rather you be inside than out here where others may see you. I’m not saying they’re not going to in the future, but Ciara’s found that new were’s often feel self-conscious if too many people are looking at them.

Tommy downed the remainder of his beer. “That sounds good thank you. I have to admit I was scared last night. I didn’t know what to expect and fuck…m’sorry…I meant to say it hurt.”

“Stop apologising, I’ve seen many go through their first transformation so I know what you’re saying.”

“Doesn’t…doesn’t it scare you that one of these were’s might hurt you?”

Oli laughed, “No I’m the Alpha’s mate and no-one in their right mind would attack me. Ciara would have to enforce the consequences.”

“Oh!” Tommy suddenly realised what that might mean.

“Can you keep a secret Tommy?”

“Of course, what’s wrong?”

“Oh there’s nothing wrong. I’m going to ask Ciara, once were marked…well I’m going to ask her to change me.”

“What! You willingly want to become a werewolf?”

“Yes I do. I can only give her so much as a human, but the possibilities of me being were also means I could give her cubs.” He looked at Tommy’s eyes as they grew larger. “Don’t be shocked, it’s only the same as a human being pregnant. There is a risk with me being human and Ciara becoming pregnant, they have said that the babies may not survive. There’s a much better chance if we were both were’s. I know she wants children, so do I, that’s why I want to change for her. I love her so much.”

“Wow, you have thought it through.”

“Yeah, I have.”

“I’ll not tell anyone.”

“Thank you Tommy.”

“After everything you’ve both done…are doing for me, it’s the least I can do.” He smiled.

“So this is where you’re hiding out.”

Ciara had approached as they’d been talking. Oli stood, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

“So Tommy are you ready to talk?”

Tommy looked at his new friends, maybe it was time to find out more about his new life. “Yeah I’m ready, just one thing though.”

“Anything.”

“Please don’t get mad with me if I ask the same questions over again.”

“That’s not a problem. No matter how many times you want to ask, we’ll answer. Plus I’m going to help you relax ready for you transformation tonight. I’ll show you how it doesn’t have to be painful” She held out her hand for Tommy as all three made their way to the lounge.

^V^

Already sitting waiting was a young girl Tommy didn’t recognise. He stood in the doorway not ready to talk to someone new.

“Hey you must be Tommy Joe Ratliff? I love listening to you play with Adam.” Tommy turned and was about to leave. “Please Tommy stay, I’m…I’m sorry if I said something wrong.” She looked as though she was about to cry.

Tommy sighed, “no, I’m sorry. It’s…well it’s difficult to talk about Adam…he…”

“Come and sit down…please. I’m Stacey.” She patted the sofa next to her. Tommy hesitated. “If I promise not to mention Adam will you come and sit with us?”

By this point Ciara and Oli were coming from the kitchen, a tray of coffee’s and sandwiches in Ciara’s hands. They looked at Tommy knowing Stacey’s enthusiasm for everything Adam and realised she’d already mentioned him to Tommy.

“Hey Tommy, foods ready. It’s only sandwiches I’m afraid, we need to go shopping tomorrow.”

“Oh, thanks, but m’not really hungry.”

“You have to eat, you need to keep up your strength for when you shift.” Ciara watched a very unhappy man shake his head.

“K, but I’m afraid I’m not good company right now.”

“That’s…sorry that’s probably my fault.” Stacey looked crestfallen. “I…well I said how much I liked…”

“We get the picture Stacey, look why don’t you go find Miriam, I’m sure she’ll be up for listening to music, as long as you don’t play it loud.” Oli smiled.

“Okaay!” Stacey pouted as she was dismissed from the adult conversation.

“Look, if you’d like, tomorrow you can go into town. I know you’d like to get some new clothes?” Ciara said hoping to avoid a pouting teenager for the next few hours.

“As long as I don’t have to take another adult with me and I can go into any shop I want?”

Oli and Ciara looked at one another. “You know how that went the last time?”

“I…I was younger then. I just wanted to try on that coat and the assistant said I couldn’t afford it.”

“But that didn’t mean you had to drop your fangs and scare her half to death.” Tommy coughed back a laugh. “I’ll let you go if you promise you’ll behave.”

Stacey sulked but knew she wasn’t going to win. “K, but can Miriam come too?”

“I suppose so.” Ciara smiled.

“Yaay thanks.” Stacey bounded off to find her friend.

“M’sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at the fangs incident.”

“Not a problem, we’ve both laughed about it since. But we don’t tell Stacey that.” Oli smiled. “I’m sorry if she was full on with her questions about Adam.”

“S’ok, I…I just really miss him.”

Oli and Ciara shared a knowing glance.

“Then why don’t you go back and talk to him?”

“He wouldn’t want me, not…not like this.”

“How do you know?”

“He wouldn’t want a werewolf playing in his band, if the press found out they’d have a field day. Besides his manager doesn’t like me as it is. This would only add fuel to the fire with a reason to drop me.”

“What if…”

“What?” Tommy stared at Ciara.

Taking a deep breath, it was now or never. “What if Adam wanted you to go home?”

Tommy got up ready to leave. “You don’t know that, so I don’t know why you’re even suggesting it.” He headed for the door, he needed to be on his own, play his guitar.

“Tommy, please wait.” He stopped in the doorway. “What if I could prove that Adam wants you back?”

He laughed. “And how are you going to prove that? Have you got a crystal ball?” He knew he was being sarcastic, but that was his defensive mode. “I’m sorry.” He turned to look at his new friends.

“A lot has happened to you in a very short space of time and it’s difficult for _anyone_ to take in, let alone someone as famous as you.” Ciara moved to Tommy’s side and putting a hand on his shoulder she smiled as he looked at her

He really wanted to cry but he couldn’t let anyone see how frightened he was.

“Come and sit down, we have something to show you.” Tommy raised his eyebrows. “Please. Look at it, if after you’ve seen it you still don’t want to go back then we’ll respect that, but just watch the programme first…ok?”

“What is it?”

“I’d rather you watched it.” She squeezed his shoulder and smiled.

What did they mean? _Watch a programme?_ He couldn’t think of any programme Adam had done that would be new to him. “K, I’ll watch, but if I don’t…look I’m not promising anything.”

“That’s fine, whatever you decide we’ll understand.” She led him back to the sofa. Holding on to his hand as Oli started the programme.

Tommy’s breath hitched when he saw his beautiful Adam on the screen. Tears running down his face as he pleaded for Tommy to get in touch, to go home, they would sort everything out.

By the time the clip ended Tommy was crying too.

“Sshh, it’s ok, cry as much as you want.” Ciara pulled him close, indicating Oli should get him a strong drink.

“H…how…wh…when was that on TV?” He sniffed.

“When you went out for some air. Stacey came and told us. She wanted to come and get you but we stopped her. We wanted you to be calm when we showed it to you.”

“But he won’t want me when he finds out.”

“So you said earlier, but how do you know?”

“I…I just…”

“Look, why don’t you ring him, tell him you’re ok at least. He thinks you’re hurt somewhere. If he knows you’re ok, he’ll…”

“No! He’ll want me to go back and I can’t. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“But aren’t you doing that by not telling him you’re ok?”

“it’s better if he thinks I’ve left LA. That way he won’t try to find me.” He wiped his eyes. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go to my room, I need to be on my own.”

“Ok, but will you promise me one…no two things?”

“If…if I can.”

“That you’ll think about what Adam said, he’s postponing his tour.”

“There are other guitarists that no doubt would give an arm and leg to play for Adam Lambert.”

“I’m just saying, think about it.”

Tommy closed his eyes as fresh tears were ready to escape. He slowly nodded.

“Thank you.”

“What’s the second thing?”

“That you come down here as dusk starts to close in. I want to be able to help you tonight. I don’t want you in pain.”

“But it is gonna hurt?”

“Only if you fight it. Look, come down and we’ll shift together, please.”

Tommy looked from Ciara to Oli who smiled. “Ok…but…”

“No Tommy, no buts. You’re going to be ok, you’ll get through this. ALL of this.” She kissed his cheek before watching him go, head down.

“He’ll be ok my love.”

“I hope so. I’m going to ring Adam, let him know.”

“No Ciara, if you do that he’s going to want to come and see Tommy. Then what would happen? Tommy trusts you right now to help him shift. If you let Adam come here Tommy is going to run. Then what would he do?”

“You don’t know that?”

“Oh my beautiful wolf. You can see how frightened Tommy is. Until he’s ok with who he’s become, getting Adam here will only set him back. Tommy needs to feel safe. Once he’s learnt to control the shifting, then we can think about contacting Adam.” He pulled her close. “I can see how much in love they are with one another, I also know they belong together. But let’s for now accept what Tommy says and help him as much as we can.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Oh Oli, you’re right. I’m sorry I even thought about it. Our priority right now is Tommy and helping him in any way we can. Have I told you how amazing you are and how much I love you?”

“Yeah, but you can keep telling me. I love you too.”

^V^

Tommy lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, his thoughts going back to Adam’s press conference. He wanted so much to contact him, tell him he was ok. But he knew if he did then Adam would talk him into going back. That was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew if he did he could end up hurting the only man he’d ever loved. He closed his eyes, the image of Adam flashing before him.

He didn’t know how long he’d slept but was woken by a knocking on his door. Sitting up, “come in.”

Ciara gently opened the door. “Hey Tommy, are you ok, I was worried because you hadn’t come down as the sun is setting.”

“Oh, I…I didn’t realise. I fell asleep. M’sorry.”

“You’re awake now and everyone else has gone to the woods. There’s just you, me and Oli in the house. Why don’t you come down and we can shift together.”

“What about Oli, won’t he…”

“Oh he’s seen me shift countless times, still says it’s amazing to watch. He’s also helped dozens of people like you. So he’s good with everything.”

“Ok, so do I need to…you know…”

“No Tommy I don’t, what do you mean?”

“Do I um, need to…erm remove my…”

She laughed “no you’re fine as you are. Contrary to popular belief, and the way we’re portrayed in films, were’s don’t shred their clothing as they shift and they don’t end up naked when they shift back to human form. That’s a myth.”

“Oh, I had wondered why I’d been fully dressed that first time you saw me.” He blushed.

“Everyone thinks like you did. Don’t ask how or why it happens, I’ve not worked that one out yet. Plus you’ll find whatever you have in your pockets will remain there too.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, cool isn’t it? Never having to get another phone for fear of losing the one you have.”

“Well I don’t have to worry about mine. I left it at home when I left. I knew Adam would ring me when he found the letter. I didn’t want him contacting me.”

“Tommy, this will all work out in the end.” She hugged him. “Now are you ready to become that beautiful golden wolf I saw last night?”

“I’m scared.”

“I totally understand. But we’re here for you. Come on.” She held out her hand.

Taking it, “thank you…for everything.” He smiled and allowed himself to be led to the conservatory.

Ciara and Oli watched as Tommy started pacing.

“You’ll make yourself dizzy if you keep that up.”

“Ciara I’m scared.”

“And I understand that, but you need to calm down otherwise you’ll panic when you start shifting and they you’ll be in more pain than you should be.”

“What can I do? I didn’t ask for any of this.” He turned to face her. “I just want my life back.”

“And you can have your life back. Nothing needs to change. You can go back…”

“No!...no I can’t he wouldn’t want me.”

“I’m not having that conversation again, not yet. You need to feel comfortable in your wolf form before you even begin to think what you’re going to do next.”

“What if…”

“Tommy, stop with the what if’s. I’ve seen many people as scared as you but they all realise in the end that it’s something beautiful to see and become.” Oli smiled at her then at Tommy.

“Why don’t you come and sit with me?” Ciara patted the rug next to her. “And before you say anything about sitting on the floor, believe me, it’s much easier to shift down here than it is on a sofa or chair. More room to stretch.”

“Plus we don’t get dog hairs on the furniture!” Oli laughed.

“Oliver Craven! You’re doing the housework for the next month after that comment.” But she laughed.

Tommy laughed, he loved how easy these two were with each other. He sat. “Ok, so now what?”

“Besides loving that laugh of yours, you should do it more. I need you to close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Just close your eyes and listen to my voice.”

Before he closed his eyes he took a last look at Oli who smiled and nodded.

“Good, now just listen to me.” Tommy nodded. “Great. Imagine you’re with family, friends, anyone you love and you’re all happy. You’re having a lovely time with them and you’re relaxed.” She saw Tommy smile, it looked good on him. “Great, now imagine stretching out on a comfy bed or in the sun on a beach somewhere. That’s right, keep that stretch in mind and picture a beautiful golden wolf wanting to be a part of your group. He’s there, just waiting for you to acknowledge him and bring him closer.” She watched as Tommy stretched, the beginning of golden fur appearing as he stretched his arms out. She smiled and winked at Oli. “You’re doing brilliantly Tommy, now let the wolf come to you, he’s not going to hurt anyone, in fact he just wants to lie with you and maybe sleep a while.”

Tommy felt as though he was drifting to sleep, he hadn’t felt so relaxed since before their concert in Albany. Then he felt it. His arms started aching, his legs felt as though they were twisted underneath him. His fingers wanted to reach out for something just out of range. It began to hurt. He gave a yelp, that sounded more like a howl. But there was Ciara’s voice again, telling him everything was going to be ok.”

“Tommy you’re doing great, let him through, howl if you want to there’s only the three of us here. That’s it, nearly there. You’re a very beautiful wolf, just let him through.”

With one loud howl Tommy’s eyes sprang open. He looked down his snout then down at his…his paws. _Wow that wasn’t so bad after all._ He looked and saw Ciara had shifted to the grey wolf he’d met the previous night. Sitting up he looked around him. Oli was still on the sofa smiling.

“Wow Tommy you are gorgeous.” Ciara yelped. “Oh my lovely girl you know I love you. I’m just letting Tommy know he has nothing to be afraid of.” Ciara padded over to her boyfriend nudging his hand for him to stroke her.

“I have an idea.” Ciara’s head tilted to the side, and Tommy was amazed that he could understand what Oli was saying. “How about I take a photo of Tommy then he can see how beautiful he is?”

Ciara looked at Tommy and growled low in question. Tommy had to admit he was curious about how he looked as a wolf so he growled low in response.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.” Oli retrieved his phone and duly snapped a picture.

Tommy lay down, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do next. Ciara had been watching him, she padded across and nudged him with her snout. Then she moved to the open door turning to look at him, wanting him to follow her.

“Go on, both of you. Have fun in the woods you deserve to run with the rest of them.” Oli moved to the grey wolf, kissed the top of her head then smiled as she bounded out into the garden.

Tommy watched, sadness hitting him because he would never have Adam do that to him.

Oli must have sensed his sadness. “Hey Tommy, you’ll find your lover again one day and you may be surprised that he still loves you. Now go…run…howl at the moon and I’ll see you back here for breakfast. Just don’t eat too many rabbits I don’t want you spoiling your appetite.” He laughed as Ciara huffed then howled. Tommy suddenly realised he was hungry so set off following Ciara into the darkness.

^V^

After the press conference Adam had gone home and locked himself in his studio. He couldn’t face anyone and wanted to be near anything to do with his Tommy. He played the tape of them as they rehearsed Ghost Town then he watched clips of the pair of them during Glamnation Tour. He was silently thanking all his Glamberts for taking videos of their stage kisses. Even more thanks needed to go to the person who had decided that splicing all of them together would make a great Top 10 of their hottest kisses.

He was on his ninth or tenth viewing of these when there was a knock at the door.

“Go away!”

“Adam you can’t stay in here all day.”

“Just watch me little brother.”

“Please Adam, at least come and get something to eat.”

“Not hungry.!” He turned the volume up.

“Adam!”

“GO AWAY!” His phone buzzed, he wanted to ignore it, to carry on watching him and Tommy snogging on stage, but it buzzed again and then a third time.

“Fuck Neil, if you think texting me is gonna…” but it wasn’t Neil it was Dia.

Holding the phone in shaking hands Adam felt tears running down his face. How could he be so fucking selfish. Tommy’s mom and sister would be hurting just as much. His thumb hovered over the message icon. He took a deep breath then opened the message screen.

**Hey Adam, please come and eat something. I’m worried about you.**

He wiped away another tear. The second message said.

**Please Adam, you’ll make yourself ill and then you’ll not be able to help Thomas when he comes home**.

He closed his eyes tight. How he wished he could believe that Tommy would be home soon. He read the third message.

**Thomas loves you very much, he wouldn’t want you locking yourself away. Please come out. We all love you and are worried about you.**

A sob escaped his mouth. Dia was right, he couldn’t stay locked in this room, he had to be ok for when Tommy came back. Wiping away the trail of tears he pulled himself from the chair, paused the video mid way through _that_ Amsterdam kiss, then unlocked the door.

As he opened it he was pulled into a hug from Dia. Tommy was right, his mom did give good hugs. Maybe that’s where Tommy got his awesome hugging from. His breath hiccupped at the thought of his boyfriends hugs.

“It’s ok Adam, you cry as much as you want. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you. And I believe that once Thomas has sorted himself out he’ll be back. That press conference this morning was a stroke of genius. I’m sure he’s seen it and on his way home now.”

“I…oh Dia I wish I could believe that. Even if he just rings to say he’s ok, I’ll take that for now.”

“Adam honey, we know he hasn’t been in an accident, Lisa has been ringing all the hospitals enquiring if they have any unidentified patients, and none have. Let’s keep positive that he’s ok and is sorting out whatever made him go in the first place.”

Adam pulled away slightly. “I really hope you’re right. I just want him home, I don’t care what made him go. I just know that whatever it was, we can sort it out.”

“I know you will. Now how about a sandwich, you have to eat.”

“Ok”

“Good. Then you can explain to me why you won’t continue with your tour.”

“You kn…”

“No Adam, I don’t, and I don’t think Tommy would agree with you either.”

“Dia, he knows me, knows how I like things done, he can read me and my quirks. Another guitarist wouldn’t work.”

“Look, let’s go eat and we can talk some more about it…ok?”

Adam sighed, he knew he wouldn’t win a _discussion_ with Dia. That was something else Tommy had inherited from his mom. It made Adam smile.

As they ate the sandwiches and drank copious amounts of coffee, Adam listened to Neil and Dia’s ideas for the LA leg of his tour.

Neil had suggested holding auditions for another guitarist which Adam dismissed immediately saying it would take too long. Neil also reminded him that Michael had given him two days then no matter what, he would send a guitarist around and Adam would have to go with whoever that was. Adam point blankly refused to even take that idea into consideration.

“I have an idea.”

They all stared at Dia.

“What? I have ideas too.” She smiled.

“We’re listening.”

“Why don’t you ask one of Thomas’s friends, if I remember rightly there’s a couple who have, what’s it called…jammed with you all at some point or other.”

They laughed. “Yes Dia, you’re right, there have been a couple so they would have an idea of my songs.” Adam went to kiss her cheek. “Thank you. Maybe Tommy will see and come back.”

“Maybe. At least you won’t be letting your fans down.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“My pleasure. Do you want me to get you their numbers?”

“Yes please, and I’ll ring them tomorrow. That should keep Michael off my back for a while.”

“Speaking of which…” They all looked at Neil.

“Well…continue brother, don’t keep us all in suspense.”

“I was just going to say our lawyer has been on the phone and has a copy of your current contract. He’s gone through it with a fine tooth comb and has found something he doesn’t think you know about.”

“What’s that?”

“Michael is set to receive a percentage of the takings of your concerts including merchandise. So the longer you’re not playing the more chance he has of suing us for breach of contract.”

“He gets enough fucking money from us already. Why didn’t I know about this?”

“I don’t think it was mentioned in our initial meeting with him.”

“What about the new contract?”

“They’re just re-reading it and will let me know what they think in a couple of days. So let’s just keep him happy and do this LA part. Hopefully by then the lawyers will have battled it out and agreed your new contract with the new agency.”

“Ok, I’ll do it. But only the LA part.”

“Oh Adam, you’re definitely not having much luck with that horrible man are you?”

“No, but hopefully it won’t be for much longer.

“Now, I really should go, let you boys get some rest. I’ll message you with those numbers later.”

“Thank you Dia. I promise I’m going to bring Tommy home no matter how long it takes.”

“I know honey. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Dia. Thank you.” He hugged her then escorted her to her car.

When Adam got back to the kitchen Neil was busy writing. “You’re not old enough nor done enough to write your memoirs, so what are you doing?”

“Ha fuckin’ ha. I’m making a list of the shows we’re doing in LA, the dates and how long after those we have before we move to San Francisco, then Vegas.”

“Unless Tommy’s back, San Francisco and Vegas are off the schedule.”

“But.”

“No Neil. I don’t mind having someone stand in for Tommy Joe in LA. But I’m not taking him on the road with us. If I can’t have Tommy back then those shows are cancelled. And I’m not backing down, so don’t even bother trying to change my mind.”

Neil put his hands up in recognition of defeat. “…for now!”

“Thank you. Now I’m kinda tired, I think I’ll head to bed.”

“Not a problem, you’ve had one hell of a day. Oh and if there’s anything else you want me to do just ask.”

“Thanks Neil, I don’t say this often enough, but you’re an amazing brother and I love you.”

“I know I am.” He laughed. “seriously, I hate seeing you like this. I can only imagine how it would feel if Elisse were to disappear like Tommy has.”

“You have a wonderful woman in Elisse, you’re a lucky man.” He hugged his brother.

“Thank you. And you have a great man in TJ. He will be back. None of us are going to stop until we find him.”

“I know, thank you.”

“I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Sure. You should go home, be with the gorgeous Elisse.”

“I will, goodnight.”

“Night Neil.” Adam slowly dragged himself up to his bedroom all the while being watched by his very concerned brother.

He stared at his bed, a bed where he and Tommy should be right now, curled around one another. Taking a deep breath he went to the window opening it wide breathing in the night air.

“Oh Tommy, wherever you are please know I love you so very much and miss you with all my heart. Please come home, I need you, not just as my amazing guitarist, my best friend but as my gorgeous boyfriend too. When you come home, I’m never going to let you go again. I don’t care why you left, we can sort all that out, I just want you home with me in my…no _our_ bed.” He stared into the darkness, a wolf howled in the distance.

^V^

Tommy sat staring into the distance, he was wondering what Adam was doing, hoping he was getting some rest. That press conference he’d watch had got him thinking. Thinking about what it would be like going back to his boyfriend, thinking what Oli had said, how humans and were’s could live together. Tommy wondered if he could do that with Adam. He sighed and lay down, his snout resting on his front paws. He felt someone lay beside him.

Ciara had let Tommy run where he’d wanted, keeping him in her sight but letting him go alone for a while. She knew that after seeing Adam at the press conference, Tommy had begun to have doubts. She’d overheard him asking Oli what it was like living with a were. She’s smiled when she’d heard what her lover wanted to do. She’d always hoped he’d ask her to change him, but had never pushed the issue. She would wait as long as he wanted before she’d agree to do it.

She looked at the golden wolf beside her. She could see the hurt and longing in his eyes. Maybe if she could persuade him to talk to one of his friends about Adam he would see how much they were all missing him.

Tommy looked at Ciara he was grateful to her and Oli for everything they’d done for him. Maybe he should talk to someone, tell them he was ok. He couldn’t tell Adam, he’d want him to go home but right now he was still coming to terms with everything and knew he’d probably agree to go home then where would he be? No it had to be someone else. He sat up, Ciara noticed him move. She could sense a change in him. She only hoped she hadn’t pushed him further away from going home.

Tommy huffed and set off in the direction of the house. Quickly she followed, afraid that by the time they got home he’d have done something crazy, like leave.

They bounded into the garden, Oli had been waiting for them on the decking. He stood, surprised as Tommy came to an abrupt halt in front of him. He looked for Ciara, who was only a couple of feet behind. He stared at his girlfriend who began to shift back.

The golden wolf watched as the grey wolf shifted back. “It’s ok Tommy, you can do this. Just think about pushing your wolf to the back, let your human self come forward.”

He lay on the decking, listening to Ciara’s voice as it calmed him. He did as she suggested and within minutes he was back to his human form. He ached, but this was a good ache, not like before, not scared, but relaxed.

“Hey Tommy, you did amazing. How are you feeling?”

“Better than last time and that’s all because of you. Thank you.”

“My pleasure. Now what made you run?”

“I…I was thinking when we were out there.”

“About what?” she felt Oli’s hand on her back, knowing he didn’t want her to push, but she knew there was something on the blonds mind.

“I…fuck…I…well you know what I said about not telling anyone I was ok?”

“Yes…go on.”

“Well I was thinking I’d let my mom know I’m ok, I know she’ll be worried.”

“That sounds like a good idea, but what about Adam?”

“No…mom can tell him I’m ok. I don’t want to talk to him…not yet.”

Ciara looked at Oli. He’d said not yet and that was a huge improvement on not talking to him at all. She smiled. “I think ringing your mom is a brilliant idea.”

“There’s only one problem.”

“And that is?”

“I left my cellphone at home when I left.” He blushed.

“That’s no problem at all. We have spare phones you can use. You’re not the first to leave your belongings in your previous life and you won’t be the last. I’m sure Oli will find you one you can have.”

Oli nodded then went in search of a phone.

“I think you’re doing the right thing Tommy, at least your family and friends will know you’re ok.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“I also understand why you don’t want to talk to Adam just yet.”

“I miss him, and I know if I heard his voice I’d go straight back to him, but I need to be sure of _me_ before I do anything.”

She went to hug him. “I’m so proud of you.”

“What…what do you mean?”

She let him go. “You’ve gone from never wanting to contact anyone to wanting to let your mom know you’re ok, and even thinking about making contact with Adam again.”

“I just want them to know I’m alive and nothing…I was going to say bad…had happened to me.”

“And that’s a huge step after what you’ve been through. As for it being bad, well maybe you’ll see that it can be good too.”

“I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to Adam, he may not want me as I am now. I just want him to know I’m ok.”

“And that’s great. But will you do something for me?”

“Sure, if I can.”

“Will you think about what you could have with Adam and what you could have without him. Over the next few days I want you to make two lists, one of your life with Adam and the other without him. Then I want you to talk to Oli and I and tell us what you’ve written. Before you say you can’t do it…” She’d seen him about to protest. “…I ask all the new were’s to do this, it helps to put things into perspective.”

“Ok, I’ll do it, but it doesn’t mean I’ll go back to him.”

“I’m not asking you to, that’s your decision and no-one elses. I’m just asking you to complete the exercise.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Thank you. Now, how would you like to come shopping with me and Oli tomorrow…well today? I have to get food in plus it would be an idea for you to get some new clothes. I know you haven’t brought many with you.”

“I…what if…I don’t want anyone to recognise me and tell Adam…”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Oli has a coat or hoodie you could borrow and we have baseball caps and sunglasses you could borrow too.” She winked and smiled.

“O…ok, yeah, it would be good to get out for a while. I’m not saying I don’t…”

“Tommy it’s ok, we all get stir crazy at times. I know what you mean.” She hugged him again. “So are you up for some shopping?”

“Yeah, I am.” He smiled.

“Did someone say shopping?” Oli came through the door smiling, a cellphone in his hand.

“I’m just asking Tommy if he wants to come with us and he said yes.”

“Great! I usually go with the girls it’ll be great to have another guy along for the trip.” He laughed as he handed over the phone. “here, spare phone as promised and here’s the number for it. It’s up to you whether you want to give anyone the number.”

Tommy took both and looked at them.

“It’s not going to bite.” Oli laughed.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…what do I say?”

“You tell them as much or as little as you want. We’re not going to push you into anything you don’t want to do.” Ciara squeezed his arm. “Look, we’ll go make a list of the stuff we need and give you some privacy. Don’t worry about the others coming back. They usually stay out until mid morning. They like to watch the sunrise and then sleep for a while, so you take your time.” She took Oli’s hand then disappeared into the kitchen.

Tommy sat on a lounger looking at the phone. He put the number into his pocket. He wasn’t going to give that to anyone.

Taking a deep breath he dialled his mom’s number. It rang four times, he was about to hang up when she answered.

“Hello, Dia Ratliff speaking.”

He realised it wouldn’t have displayed the number so he waited.

“Hello, is there someone there?”

He froze, what would he say?

“Look if this is a crank call then you’d better leave me alone and don’t bother me again, I…”

“Mom.”

“Thomas…is…is that you?”

He heard her sob, He could feel tears running down his own face.

“Tommy, please, is it you?”

She rarely called him Tommy. His heart was pounding in his chest.

“Hey mom…yeah it’s me.”

“Oh Thomas, where are you? Are you Ok? When are you coming home? Have you contacted Adam, he’s in bits he misses you like mad.”

“Mom, please, I…”

“Oh Thomas why…”

“Mom, I love you all, I miss you all too but right now I’m safer, no you’re safer with me not being there. Just know that I’m ok, tell everyone not to worry, I’m good. Tell Adam to go make wonderful music. But please don’t ask me when or if I’m coming home. I can’t tell right now what’s happening. I just wanted you to know I’m ok and not hurt somewhere.”

“Thomas, baby, please. Where are you? Can I at least meet you?”

“Oh mom, I can’t, not right now. Maybe sometime in the future.”

“Please honey, what happened?”

“I can’t mom. You wouldn’t like who I’ve become. Please don’t ask me to explain. Just tell everyone I’m ok and I love you all. Bye mom.”

“Thomas, please.”

“Love you…bye.” He hung up, tears streaming down his face.

^V^

Dia had gone around to Adam's early and had been sorting out the breakfast, it was the least she could do when all of Tommy’s friends were trying their hardest to find her son. She was startled when her phone rang, but as there was no number showing she was reluctant to answer it. Whoever it was, they were persistent. She suddenly thought it may be someone ringing about her son.

“Hello, Dia Ratliff speaking.” She stared at the phone as there seemed to be no-one on the other end. She tried again still no reply. She was not in the mood for crank calls, and being someone who always spoke her mind she told them to leave her alone. That’s when she heard him…her beautiful son.

“Thomas…is that you?” Her breath hitched and she noticed the others stop talking at the mention of Tommy’s name.

Adam watched as Dia had a brief conversation.

“Tommy please can we meet somewhere?”

Adam went to join Dia in the kitchen but by the time he was at her side Tommy had rung off.

“Where is he? Is he ok? When’s he coming home? Did he say why he left? Did he give you a number? Are you going to meet him?” all of this came out in a single breath as Adam gripped the back of a chair.

“Oh honey, slow down. One question at a time.” Dia was shaking and trying not to cry.

“But…”

“Let’s go sit down then I can tell you all what he said.” She took Adam’s hand, leading him to the sofa.

“Please Dia, what did he say?”

Taking a deep breath she held tight to Adam’s hand. “He said he’s ok, not to worry, he can’t tell us why he left just that he’d…no we’d be safer without him. He said to tell you Adam to go make beautiful music and he misses and loves us all.”

“Then why the fuck…sorry Dia…why doesn’t he come home?”

“Oh sweetheart I don’t know the answer to that. Right now I don’t think Tommy even knows the answer.”

“But he is coming home eventually?” Sophie had tears in her eyes. She was hurting, she missed their friend and she couldn’t begin to imagine how Adam was feeling.

“He said he didn’t know, he may do when everything’s clearer but I don’t think we should get our hopes up.”

Adam broke down, how was he going to survive without his Tommy?

“Did you get a number for him?”

“I’m so sorry Adam the number was whitheld.” She pulled him into a hug as fresh sobs escaped his mouth.

“Mom.”

“Yes honey?”

“What did Tommy mean about we’d be safer?”

“I don’t know Lisa.”

“It’s not the first time he’s said that. Don’t you remember? The notes…” She looked from her mother to Isaac and then back to her mom.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Didn’t Tommy say he had to leave because he didn’t want to hurt us? Now he’s saying we’re safer without him. Something has happened and he’s scared of hurting us…even more than he is already by not being here.”

“Lisa, sweetheart you’re reading too much into this.”

“I…”

“No Lisa, it’s no use. Thomas will only do what he wants to do. Let’s just…”

“I’m sorry, I can’t not do anything. I need to know what he meant.” Lisa looked at everyone then left. Sophie went to go after her.

“No Sophie, leave her, when she gets something in her head she’s stubborn and won’t drop it until she’s exhausted all avenues of research. She’s just like her brother…stubborn”

“What do we do now?”

“We do what Tommy said. We continue with the tour.”

“For fuck’s sake Neil is that all you can think about?”

“No Adam, it isn’t. But we have an obligation to fulfil our contract otherwise…”

“Let Michael sue me, I don’t care. All I care about is getting Tommy Joe home.”

“I know, I want him home too I miss his snide remarks, and the way he makes you smile. But please, think about this. If we play the LA shows we can say to Michael we’ve upheld our side of the deal. He knows you’re not going to carry on with the remainder until Tommy’s back.”

Adam wiped away the river of tears and nodded. “Ok but only the LA shows.”

“Agreed. Who are you going to use as your guitarist?”

“I spoke to Ritchie first thing this morning and he’s agreed to come play for us. I sent him our set list and he promised me he’ll be ready to go a couple of days before our first show at the Novo. He messaged me saying if we need him at the studio beforehand to let him know.”

“Great, I’ll let Michael know we’ll be ready to go in a week’s time.”

“Thanks Neil, and I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s what I do…look after my big brother.”

 

Tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy was staring at the phone when Ciara and Oli went to let him know they were ready to go shopping.

“Everything ok Tommy?”

“Mmmm, what…yeah…no…I don’t know.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I miss them.”

“I’m sure you do. That’s why you should go home, tell them everything.”

“No!...m’sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted.”

Ciara put her arms around him. “You can shout, scream growl, howl as much as you want, we’re all friends here.”

“How can I tell them what I’ve become? They’ll be terrified that I’m going to hurt them. That’s the last thing I want to do.”

“You are not going to hurt them, you love them. What you’re doing now is hurting them more, they don’t understand why you’ve left them.”

“I want them to be safe.”

“And they will be, you are in control of your wolf, he isn’t going to hurt the people you love.”

“But what if I do to any of them what that wolf did to me?”

“You are a better person than she was. She was jealous of you and Adam, she couldn’t see beyond wanting you for herself. You aren’t like that, you love Adam, that appeal spoke volumes about how much he loves you.”

“I want to believe I’m not going to hurt him or any of my family and friends, but I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Oli held onto his girl.

“Of him rejecting me. I couldn’t cope with that. It’s taken us a long time to get to where we are and I don’t want to lose that.”

“And you won’t. I love Ciara for who she is and I also love her wolf. She’s beautiful in either form.”

Ciara blushed as Oli kissed her cheek.

“Look, we’re not saying go home today or even this week. You are welcome to stay as long as you want. What we do want you to think about is this. Are you going to be happy living the rest of your life without Adam and your family, or do you want all the happiness you deserve _with_ Adam?” Tommy went to answer. “No don’t decide right now. I want you to think about it and make those lists for Ciara.”

“In the meantime I’m going to continue to help you control when you bring your wolf forward and not be dictated by the phase of the moon.”

They both looked at one very frightened man.

“Ok I’ll think about it and I promise I’ll have a go at the list thing you want me to do.”

“That’s all we’re asking.”

“Oh and remember Tommy, sex with a were can be really amazing.” Oli winked as Ciara and Tommy blushed.

“On that note, who’s up for some shopping?”

Tommy and Oli looked at each other smiling, then turned to Ciara both exclaiming together “If we must!”

Tommy watched as Oli kissed his girlfriend, wondering if he could ever have that kind of relationship with Adam.

^V^

As they pulled into the parking garage of the mall, Tommy hesitated looking out of the window at all the people milling around. Families laughing, lovers holding tightly to one another, teenagers texting their family or friends. He sighed.

“It’s ok, you’ll be fine. No-one is going to take any notice of three people going about their own business. And if you’re worried about people recognising you, I’m sure under that baseball cap your hair won’t be recognised. I know people they’re often too busy going about their lives to see who or what is right in front of them.”

“I don’t know if I can Ciara.”

“I promise you we won’t be long. Look how about you take the car keys then if it all gets too much for you then you can come back and wait in the car for us.”

“Yeah, I…that sounds good, thank you.” He took the keys and smiled.

“I suggest Tommy and I go clothes shopping, whilst you do the boring stuff like getting food.”

“You wouldn’t think it boring if there was nothing for us to eat at home.

“Ah well erm…you’re right. It’s ok for the both of you, you can hunt rabbits in your wolf form, I really don’t like the thought of raw rabbit.” Oli shuddered.

Tommy and Ciara giggled. “Then what would you do if I were to change you?”

“Well that would be different, but I’d still want my bacon sandwiches.”

Everyone laughed, Tommy loved how Oli was so comfortable talking about being a were. He wondered if Adam would be the same. _Stop Ratliff, you can’t even think about Adam, he’s not part of your life now and never will be again._

“Ok are you ready Tommy?”

“What? Oh yeah, sorry. I was thinking.”

“Careful, we don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Oli smiled but saw something flash across Tommy’s face. “Hey are you ok?”

“Sorry, yeah. It’s just my friend Isaac used to say stuff like that to me and I…”

“I’m sorry.”

“No don’t apologise, you weren’t to know. I just miss his banter that’s all.”

“Another reason you should think about going home.”

“We’ll see. Now let’s get this shopping lark over with. I’m getting hungry.”

“How about you boys go do what boys do, I’ll go do the _important_ shopping and then we meet at Guisados. They do the most amazing Taco’s for miles.”

“Did you say Taco’s?” Tommy smiled, “I love Taco’s.” His mouth watered at the thought.

“That’s settled then, how about we meet in an hour?”

“Let’s make it an hour and half, I know what you’re like when food shopping.” Oli winked.

“Fine. Hour and a half it is.” Ciara got out the car. Oli and a nervous Tommy followed.

“It’s going to be ok Tommy, Oli’s got your back.”

“Thank you…both of you.”

“Right, let’s attack the shops and I’ll see you both in 90 minutes. Have fun boys.” And she disappeared.

“Where to first? Your choice. I’m sure we’re going to find you some stuff.”

“It can’t be much, I’ve not got a lot of cash on me, I didn’t bring my credit card, didn’t want anyone trying to find me.”

“Not a problem, we have an emergency fund for just that reason.”

“If you’re sure?” Oli nodded. “K, but I will pay you back, I promise.”

“We know you will, so stop worrying and let’s go.”

Tommy smiled, he couldn’t believe how amazing his new friends were. Pulling down the cap and putting his sunglasses on, the pair headed into the mall.

After an hour, both Tommy and Oli had had enough shopping. Tommy had bought jeans, T-shirts and a jacket. Oli had bought Ciara a purple sweater that had pink sequins dotted around it. As they were making their way to the restaurant, they passed a music store. Tommy stopped, looking in the window at the Gibson guitar they had on display.

“That’s beautiful.”

“Mmmm, yeah it is. I…I have a similar one at home. I’ve had it a long time. I used it for my audition all those years ago when I went to play for Adam.”

“Didn’t you start on Bass though?”

Tommy laughed. “Yeah, that was crazy. I went to audition for guitarist, he’d already got someone but he needed a Bassist, he asked if I could play Bass, so told him to give me a couple of days. I thought I wouldn’t have a chance, but Adam said ok. I went off learnt the songs on Bass went back and the rest they say is history.”

“Wow, talk about right place right time.”

“It helped that I was just Adam’s type too.” Tommy laughed.

“Ah, I see. But why did it take you…sorry, I’m being too nosey?”

“No, s’ok. He thought I was straight and I went along with it as I was too scared to own up I’m Bi, as he…well let’s just say we were both idiots as we both had feelings for each other and were both scared to open up.”

“The chemistry you have on stage is hot.”

Tommy blushed. “But it’s got us into trouble more than once.”

“Well those that don’t like it can find something else to watch. I for one love seeing you both on stage.”

“That’s not going to happen again.”

“Never say never Tommy.”

“Come on I’m getting hungry.” Tommy had to do something to take his mind off Adam.

“Let’s go, but remember who you are Tommy Joe Ratliff. No-one is going to take that away from you.”

Ciara was waiting for them as they arrived at Guisados. “Hey boys, looks like you’ve had a productive morning?” she pointed at their bags.

“We have. But I’m starving let’s go eat.”

The three headed into the restaurant unaware they were being watched.

^V^

Sutan had cried when Adam had phoned him to tell him about Tommy. He’d cried even more when he’d watched Adam’s plea on the television, so he was surprised to hear his friend talking outside the music shop. Sutan had been on his way out when he’d heard a voice he recognised, so he lingered inside, listening. He wanted to go out and talk to his friend but he didn’t want to scare him away, not after everything Adam had told him about the letters everyone had received. He listened as Tommy told this guy how he’d come to play for Adam, What Sutan couldn’t understand was who this new guy was to Tommy and why they were out shopping together. The Tommy Sutan loved never went shopping if he could help it, he always got his jeans on line or if he did go into town then it was with either Adam or Isaac. He heard them mention Guisados so he let them get a short way in front of him before he followed.

As they approached the restaurant Sutan spotted a beautiful woman smile and wave at the two men. He reached for his phone scrolling through his contacts until he found Adam’s number. He was about to press dial when something held him back. Tommy must have a reason for staying away, he needed some privacy for whatever was going on with him. If Sutan contacted Adam he knew that even though Adam was missing Tommy he’d no doubt over-react and maybe cause a scene that neither wanted right now. No, he’d wait until the three of them came out then he’d go and talk to TJ, he always listened to him and his advice.

Buying a coffee Sutan took up watch across from the restaurant. He was prepared to wait all day if it meant talking to his Boo.

Ciara, Oli and Tommy found a table towards the back of the restaurant, Tommy insisting that he didn’t want to be seen by anyone. He removed his sunglasses but was reluctant to remove his cap.

“Tommy, you’re hidden by the booth dividers, you have your back to the door, no-one is going to spot you sitting there, I’m sure you’d be more comfortable without your cap on.” Ciara looked pleadingly at him.

Taking a deep breath he removed his cap.

“That’s better, we can see your gorgeous eyes.”

“They seemed to change colour after…well you know.”

“Yeah, sometimes that happens. I must say yours are a beautiful colour.”

“Adam’s always said he loves the colour of my eyes. Don’t know what he’d think now?”

“Didn’t he see before you left?”

“Um, no. I made sure I kept my glasses on, told him I had a headache after the mugging.”

Ciara reached for his hand. “Oh Tommy, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine what it’s like being away from your boyfriend. I don’t know what I’d do without Oli.”

“It’s not like we…well you know. It didn’t get to that stage.” Tommy blushed. “I…well I didn’t want to hurt Adam anymore than I had to.”

“You’re hurting too Tommy, I can see that. I know I’ve said it before but everything will be ok.”

“Yeah, I know it will that’s why I have to leave LA.”

“But what about…?”

“No I’ve made up my mind. If I stay then I know I’ll end up going back and I can’t force who I am now, onto Adam, I love him too much to hurt him in that way.”

“Have you thought things through?”

“I’ve done nothing but think. I’m going to leave at the end of the week. Thank you for everything you’ve both done for me but it has to be this way.”

“Well then, before you go we’ll get you to a point where your wolf isn’t dominated by the moon. We’ll work on having you in control of him. That way you’ll still have the choice of coming back to where you belong.”

“Thank you. Now let’s order I’m starving.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his golden eyes.

^V^

The meal was a relaxed one, but Ciara knew Tommy was trying to let her see he would be ok. Deep down she had the feeling that he was still the scared person she’d found just a few days ago.

Putting his napkin on the table Tommy sat back. “Wow that was amazing. How come I didn’t know about this place. How long has it been here?”

“I’ve been in LA five years and it was here when I arrived.”

“Well thank you. I’m gonna have to come back with…” he stopped talking, putting his head back he wiped his eyes.

“You were going to say with Adam, weren’t you?” Oli looked from Ciara to Tommy.

“Yeah, yeah I was. How can I be so stupid, it’s never gonna happen.”

“You don’t know what’s around the corner. You need to have an open mind.”

“I can’t come back if I’m not going to be in LA. How stupid am I?”

“You’re not stupid. Besides after we’ve done more work you may change your mind, and before you say anything just think about everything you can have and everything you’re gonna leave behind.”

Tommy sighed, “K, would…would you both mind if we went home? I’m tired after shifting last night and all the shopping we’ve done. For which I might add I’m going to pay back every penny.”

“You know you don’t have to.”

“I know, but I’d feel better if I did.”

“Ok, and yeah we can go home. You can rest and then we can do some work with your wolf…ok?”

“Ok.”

Oli went to pay as Ciara and Tommy headed for the door.

Sutan had begun to wonder if he’d missed them when the door opened and out walked the woman followed by Tommy, putting his cap and glasses back on. A minute later the other guy joined them. Sutan stood, he wanted nothing more than to run over and hug TJ but he knew that would do nothing but scare the man away. He had to be subtle and casually _bump_ into them. He watched as they headed for the escalator down to ground level which would lead to the parking garage. He had to get to them before then, otherwise he’d lose them as they went to their car.

Luckily there was a crowd of people on the escalator but not so many on the stairs. That was Sutan’s chance to get to the bottom before TJ and his new friends.

Walking quickly and even running down the stairs, Sutan managed to get to the bottom just before TJ. He began walking towards his friend, not really sure how he was going to play this, but he knew he had to speak to him.

Tommy, Ciara and Oli were talking about the food they’d just had and not really concentrating on what was going on around them when someone bumped into Tommy. The blond immediately apologised said he wasn’t really looking where he was going, when he suddenly heard a familiar voice. He froze.

“Tommy Joe, it’s so good to see you.”

Tommy’s hat had fallen off as the two men had knocked into each other. Tommy stared at his friend.

“We’ve been so worried about you, I…”

“Sutan…I…m’sorry I can’t.” He ran.

Sutan turned to Ciara and Oli. “Hi, I’m Sutan, a good friend of TJ’s. What’s going on with him? Why hasn’t he come home?”

“Hello Sutan, I’m Ciara, this is my boyfriend Oli. I’m sorry but that’s not for me to say. Tommy has a lot going on right now and we’re helping him. It’s up to him to tell you.”

“Oh, and Adam, why can’t he talk to him?”

“You’re a friend of Adam’s too?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, look, do us and Tommy a favour. Tell Adam he’s ok, tell him we’re looking after him. Tell him we’ll do our best to get Tommy to ring him even if he doesn’t want to go home. I can’t say anymore than that, but I promise you Tommy is doing ok.”

“Adam’s a wreck, tell Tommy that. He’s not sleeping or eating properly, and he’s got shows to play in LA starting next week. If Tommy doesn’t come home, I don’t know how Adam is going to cope.”

“We understand.”

“Do you?”

“We can assure you we do and believe us when we say Tommy’s missing Adam too.”

“Then please…please get him to come home.”

“We’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

“Please tell Adam that Tommy is ok. I know you’re going to tell him you’ve seen him.” Sutan nodded. “Please also tell him we know what Tommy is going through…”

“Which is?”

“That’s for him to tell you. But please know we’re both there for him and will help him no matter how long it takes.”

Sutan looked the both of them. “Ok, I’ll tell him, but just remind him we all love him and miss him.”

“Yeah, we will.” Ciara and Oli smiled then headed off in the direction of their car. They found Tommy curled up on the back seat, tears running down his face.

^V^

He never moved as they drove back, silent sobs shaking his body. _Why had he agreed to go with them? He knew something like this would happen, that’s why he had to leave LA and the sooner the better._

“Tommy, we’re home. Come inside, we’ll get you something to drink.”

He sat up, not saying a word allowing himself to be guided into the house.

“Hey, you’re back how was…”

“Not now Stacey. Go outside…please and make sure no-one comes in until we say so.”

“Ok. Is Tommy alright?” She’d seen the ashen look on his face.

“He will be.” Ciara led him to the sofa where he sat staring into space.

“What do you want me to tell the others if they want to come in?”

“Just say we’re in an important meeting and tell them it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Ok.” Stacey smiled then left.

“Tommy, talk to me please. I know that must have been a shock for you, but you need to talk to me.”

“I’m leaving.” He picked at the nail varnish on his thumb.

“If that’s what you want, none of us can stop you. But if you go now, you’ll be beholden to the phases of the moon, they will dictate when you shift. Yes it’s the best way for some were’s but for me, for you, the best for us is by controlling when we let our wolves out to play.”

“Play! Is that what this is to you…a game? It’s not a game for me, I’m terrified, I didn’t ask for this, I want it to go away, I want Adam back in my arms. I want to know I’m not going to hurt him or worse, kill him. This is no game Ciara.”

She watched as Tommy broke down. Slowly moving to sit next to him she put her arms around him holding tight.

“Sshh, it’s ok. I know how you’re feeling. I know it’s not a game, but I want to show you, you can have a real life with Adam and still be the beautiful wolf you have inside you. I know it’s been a lot to take in, please Tommy, stay and let me help. I had an awesome man help me when I was attacked, now let me pass on his knowledge and love to you. I can show you how to love yourself both as a human and as a wolf. And more than that show you how to love Adam again.”

“I…I’ve not stopped loving him, that’s why I have to leave.”

“I have a proposition for you.”

“No Ciara, I don’t…”

“Let me finish then go and think about it and rest. If after you’ve thought long and hard about it and you still want to leave then I nor anyone here will stop you. But if you take up my offer I will do my best to help you through this.” She moved away looking into his sad golden eyes.

Tommy looked at her, she had already been a friend to him and he’d only met her a couple of days ago. Now here she was offering to help him, but what about Adam? How could he still love him now he was a werewolf?

“Well Tommy, will you listen to my proposition?”

He sighed. “Ok but…”

“No Tommy, no buts. We’re going to get you through this, me and you.”

“O…ok, I’ll listen.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I get you both something to drink? I can see this may take some time.”

“Yes please lover. Can I have some of that homemade lemonade that’s in the fridge?”

“Sure my love. Tommy, what can I get you? Do you want the same or would you prefer something stronger?”

“Um, I don’t suppose you’ve got any Jack Daniels?”

“I think so.”

“Great, a large one of those would be good.”

“I’ll be right back, then I’ll leave you both to talk.” He disappeared.

“You have an amazing boyfriend.”

“Yeah, he is kinda special isn’t he? I love him so much and one day…well we want a family.”

“Oh…I…”

“It can happen, but that’s a story for another day.”

“Oli did mention something to me but I thought…well…”

“He knows what’s got to happen beforehand and we’ve talked in great length about it. I just want him to be one hundred percent certain before we…well…”

“Drinks have arrived.” Oli smiled as he handed them over. “What were you just talking about, I thought I heard my name mentioned?”

“I was just saying how much I love you.” Ciara smiled at Tommy.

“And I love you too my darling.” He bent to kiss her. “Now, I’ll leave you to talk. I’ll be a good boyfriend and put the groceries away.”

“See how well he’s been trained?” Ciara laughed and Tommy smiled as Oli blew her a kiss.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For shouting at you earlier. It was a shock to see Sutan, I over reacted and I’m…”

“Hey, it was a natural instinct, you wanted to protect yourself so you did the first thing that most people do in a situation like that; you left.”

“Did he say anything, did he mention Adam?”

“He introduced himself and asked what was going on. I told him I couldn’t tell him, it was up to you to tell all your friends.”

“But what about Adam?”

“Oh Tommy, he said he’s not sleeping or eating properly, he’s worried about you, wants you to go home. He also said Adam has to perform in a few days and from what he said I don’t think he’s going to be able to. He’s making himself ill and I’m sure you don’t want that?”

“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have left that hotel and gone to Central Park. We were told not to.”

“Tommy, listen to me. It’s not your fault. It’s that were’s fault for attacking you, so don’t keep saying or thinking it has anything to do with you leaving the hotel.”

“I hope Adam is going to be ok?”

“You still love him don’t you?”

“Of course I do, that’s why I have to stay away.”

“If I can prove to you that you won’t hurt anyone you love, friends, family and Adam, will you at least ring him, tell him you’re ok?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Ok. Listen to my proposition then go think about everything. I don’t want you rushing with your answer, I want you to tell me in the morning. We’re going to shift together again tonight, it’s the final night of the full moon and I want you to be in control of your wolf. I also want you to allow Oli to record you shifting, that way you’ll see how beautiful your wolf is. Do we have a deal?”

“Ok, but if I don’t agree with your proposition, I’m free to leave tomorrow?”

“You have been free to leave any time you’ve wanted. None of us were…are going to force you to stay.”

“I’ll listen.” Tommy downed his Jack, feeling the heat run through him.

Ciara spent the next hour explaining what it was like living with a human. She told him about Stuart, the man who did for her what she was doing for Tommy. She explained that he could be the protector of Adam and their friends and family. He would be able to control when his wolf came out, he could also watch over his _pack_ as she called the band, as wolves didn’t always need as much sleep as humans. He laughed at that telling her about his insomnia. She told him that over the next few weeks, if he chose to stay, she’d not only help with shifting but show him how to hunt, as wolves needed the nourishment from other sources of food. It was ok to eat what humans did, but their metabolism was such that he would need to hunt as well. He listened, asking questions when he got confused.

“So Tommy, don’t give me an answer now. Tell me in the morning.”

“Thank you for everything. I…um…I do have one more question. If you think it’s too personal then tell me.”

“I’m intrigued, so go on, ask away.”

“Erm…I…” he blushed. “I just want to ask, erm…wow this is harder than I thought.”

“Just ask me.” She smiled taking hold of his hands.

“Ok her goes. When you and Oli…crap…when you…”

“Have sex, make love?”

“Um, yeah, how do you stop your wolf biting him, changing him?”

“I have to admit sometimes I want to bite him, but I know it would be wrong to do that without his consent. I just gently push my wolf back and enjoy the pleasure we’re having as humans. I know he wants me to change him but as I said before only when he’s a hundred percent certain.”

“Thank you, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”

“You didn’t and I’m so happy you felt you could ask.”

“Would you be able to help me just in case I…”

“In case you go home to Adam?”

“Well in case I meet someone I want to have sex, make love with.”

Inwardly Ciara was bouncing, even asking a question like that showed some hope that he may go back to Adam.

“Of course I’ll help you. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“Thank you.”

“Now go, get some rest. Meeting your friend today must have knocked you for six. He was worried about you. Maybe you could ring him later?”

“He’s a good friend, and I’ll think about ringing him.”

“All I’m asking. Now go sleep, someone will call you when supper’s ready.” She watched as a tired man headed to his room.

“Is he going to be ok?” Oli had seen Tommy leave.

“Yeah, I believe his is. I’ve given him a lot to think about and he’s going to tell me his decision in the morning. So tonight when we shift, would you video it so he can see how beautiful his wolf is?”

“Of course I will.”

“Thank you. Then afterwards I’m going to show him how wolves have fun.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re an amazing woman?” Oli wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“Thank you Oli, that means so much to me. Come on let’s go see what the pack are up to.”

^V^

“I think we should go home, it’s getting late.”

“You and Neil are welcome to stay here, we have plenty of room.”

“Thank you Dia, but we don’t want to put you out.”

“It wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Thank you, but Neil hasn’t seen Elisse for two days.”

“I understand. But will you promise me something?”

“Sure if I can.”

“Get some sleep too. You’re going to make yourself ill and where would that leave you when Tommy comes home.”

“You really think he will come home?”

She wrapped her arms around him, “yes I do believe that, and so should you.”

“I hope so.”

“Right, I’m ordering you home to bed to sleep, and we can continue tomorrow.”

“Thank you. I’m meeting Ritchie first thing just to go over a few things.” He sighed. “I hate betraying Tommy Joe, but…”

“You’re not betraying him. You’re giving work to one of his friends and I know my Thomas he’d be happy for Ritchie.”

“I hope that he realises it’s only temporary until he gets home.”

“I’m sure he will. Now go and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“goodnight Dia, I’m not going to stop until we find him.”

“I know, goodnight Adam.”

They all shouted their goodbyes to Lisa, who had shut herself in the study.

Isaac and Sophie hugged Dia then promised to be back the following day. Neil and Adam did the same, then all four left.

As Neil pulled up in front of Adam’s house his brothers’ phone rang.

“Hey Sutan, how are you and what can…where…who was he with…did he say anything…what did they say…is he coming home…why hasn’t he rung me…what…no…I’m just getting out of Neil’s car…yes I’ll be in…no not going to be in bed…I’ll put the coffee on…yeah see you soon.”

“Adam, what the hell was that about?”

“Sutan, he saw Tommy today, he’s coming around in five, to tell me what happened.”

“Couldn’t he just do that on the phone, then let us get some sleep.”

“I need to know what’s going on.”

“I know you do but…”

“You go home Neil, I’ll be fine. Go see Elisse, hold her tell her you love her.”

“Ring me if you want me.”

“No, not tonight, you need time with your beautiful wife. Sutan and I will be fine.”

“Ok, but you know where I am if…”

“Go home Neil.”

“Yes boss.” He smiled, saw Adam smile, sort of, hugged his brother then watched as he headed up his drive, before going home to his wife.

Adam managed to get the coffee started when the buzzer at the gate sounded.

“Who is it?”

“Me, Sutan, come on vayvee I need coffee in my veins.”

Adam laughed, pushing the release button letting his friend in.

Sutan was ringing the doorbell as Adam was pouring two coffees. Knowing what his friend was like, Adam held a mug of coffee out as he opened the front door.

“Mmm, liquid gold.” Sutan sniffed the strong liquid as he took the mug from Adam. “And hello to my favourite man.” He hugged him trying not to spill his drink.

“Hey Sutan, I’m sorry for firing all those question, I…I just want Tommy home.”

“You don’t have to apologise. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”

“I miss him. I…god Sut, I didn’t realise how much I love him.”

“Then let’s go sit down and I’ll tell you what I know.”

“Go ahead, just going for my coffee.”

Sutan didn’t like to admit it, but his friend looked awful. It seemed as though he hadn’t slept, the black circles under his eyes told the tale.

“Right Sut, tell me what you found out.”

“Firstly, he’s ok, he was shocked to see me, but I could see the people he was with are looking after him.”

“Who were they?”

“I don’t know vayvee, they said their names were Ciara and Oli, they were a couple, but that’s all they said about themselves.”

“No surname?”

“I’m sorry, no.”

“Tommy, what did Tommy Joe say?”

“He, well he was surprised to see me, said he couldn’t…then left, he ran off.”

“He couldn’t what?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t elaborate.”

“Ok, then what did this Ciara and Oli say?”

“Just that he was ok, had some stuff he…they were helping him sort out. I asked them what but they said it was up to Tommy to tell you. I asked if they could get him to come home but again they said it was up to him. The did say they would try and get him to ring you.”

“Which direction did they go?”

“I don’t know, they headed down to the parking garage.”

“But they said they were going to get him to ring me?”

“They said they couldn’t promise anything but they’d try.”

“I miss him.”

“I know you do, but at least you know he’s still in LA and he’s ok, not hurt.”

“Yeah, there is that.”

“Now don’t bite my head off, but fuck Adam, you look like shit!”

“Gee thanks Sutan, I love you too.”

“When was the last time you had any sleep?”

“Don’t know, couple of days.”

“Then you should go to bed…now.”

“I need to find him.”

“And we will but if you’re ill you’re not going to be much use for when he does come home.”

“I…”

“No Adam, go, To. Bed. I’ll stay here in case anyone rings or comes to the door.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for. Besides haven’t you got a tour to finish.”

“I’m postponing.”

“Yeah, I thought that’s what I heard you say at the press conference.”

“I do though have to do the local ones. I’m having Ritchie play guitar for me. But…but I still feel I’m betraying my Tommy.”

“Hey, he’ll understand especially as it’s Ritchie.”

“Thanks. I can’t go into detail but I’m having to do them, keep Michael happy and off my back for now. You know he never wanted Tommy to play for me, he’s always hated him.”

“I got that impression when he was at one of your shows a couple of years ago.”

“I hope Tommy Joe saw that press conference. I hope he knows that no matter what’s going on with him I love him and don’t care what it is, we’ll sort it out.”

“I’m sure he does. And I’m also certain that this Ciara and Oli couple are going to help him too.”

“Yeah, I guess we’ll have to wait, but hopefully not too long.”

“Now go to bed. I’m staying right here.”

Adam hugged his best friend before heading to bed.

^V^

Tommy lay on his bed for what seemed like hours. He tried closing his eyes but sleep evaded him. Sitting up he stared out of the window, he could hear the youngsters having fun, splashing away in the pool. He smiled wondering if they were having another water polo match.

Rubbing his eyes he remembered what Adam had always said about them. _Looking into your eyes Tommy Joe is like falling into liquid gold._ Why did everything come back to the one person he missed and loved so much? Thinking back to the conversation he’d had with Ciara, he reached for the notebook and pen. What was it she’d said? Make two lists, what life would be like with Adam and the other without him.

He drew a line down the centre of the page writing **with Adam** on the left side and **without Adam** on the right. He sat thinking for a while then began to write.

He was concentrating on his lists so didn’t hear the door open.

“Hey Tommy, we thought you’d fallen asleep! Dinner is ready.”

“Great, I’ll be down in a minute, I just want to finish this.” He held up the notebook.

“Ok, I’ll let Ciara know. Look if it’s any help I could always speak to Adam for you…when…if you decide to go back. I could explain from a human point of view.”

Tommy sighed. “Thanks man, but I…I haven’t said I’m going back.”

“I know, but I just wanted you to know I’ll help in anyway I can.”

“Thanks. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Great, see you soon.” Oli watched as Tommy carried on writing. There was a man who was clearly missing his boyfriend but who found it difficult to trust his feelings. As he closed the door he wondered if something in Tommy’s past had caused him to feel this way.

Carrying the notebook, Tommy headed down to the smell of Bolognese sauce. His mouth watered, he hadn’t realised he was hungry but the smell was delicious and his stomach grumbled in anticipation.

“Tommy, hey come, sit down. Stacey move over let Tommy sit there.”

“It’s ok I’ll…”

“S’ok Tommy, I don’t mind, I still get to sit next to you either way.” Stacey smiled.

“Thank you.” He slid into the vacated seat. He found himself seated next to Ciara. “That smells wonderful, I didn’t realise I was hungry until I was coming down the stairs.”

“Well help yourself, there’s plenty.” She smiled at him as she placed a large bowl of spaghetti on the table.

“I see you’ve been doing some thinking.” She nodded towards his notebook.”

“Um…yeah…I…”

“Let’s talk about that later, let’s enjoy dinner then we can talk whilst this motley crew clear the table and do the dishes.” A loud groan echoed around the table.

“But I should help too.”

“No Tommy you’re our guest and guests don’t do dishes.”

“Ok, if you’re sure. I don’t mind, it’s the least I can do.”

“I’m positive. Now if you decide to stay here and not go home…well that’s a different matter.” She winked at him.

“Oh but you have to go home Tommy, Adam misses you and who’s he going to get to play guitar?”

“Stacey!...enough. We’re having dinner not discussing what you think Tommy should do. That’s up to him.”

“I’m sorry Oli.”

“Mmmm and…”

“Sorry Tommy.” Tommy nodded his acknowledgement.

“Now eat up then you can wash the dishes.”

“But I did…”

“Doesn’t’ matter, water’s not gonna kill you.”

“Ok!”

“It’s not Stacey’s fault.”

“I know Tommy, but she has to learn that not everything in this world is easy to solve.”

“Ok.” Tommy smiled at Stacey.

The remainder of the meal was full of chatter about how the majority of the people around the table were from LA, with one or two from out of town. The LA were’s said that their families knew who they were and welcomed them home whenever they wanted to go. They just loved living with Ciara and Oli, they were a pack and would do anything to help maintain the peace they had here.

Tommy was in awe of some of them. They’d left home at a young age for whatever reason, but whilst they’d lived here they’d gone back to studying. A couple were lawyers and there was even a couple of doctors. Ciara said that came in handy if anyone got hurt or became ill. It was difficult for a human doctor to understand were physiology, but a were doctor…well that was a bonus.

Tommy was helping to clear the table when he felt a gentle hand on his back.

“Come on, let’s not put this off any longer. I want to see what you’ve written.”

“I don’t know if I’ve done it right.”

“There is no right or wrong way. Come on, grab two coffee’s and we can go sit in the lounge.”

“K.” Tommy felt nervous, he hadn’t felt like this since his audition for Adam all those years ago.

Ciara had put some music on and was sitting, eyes closed, lost in the song.

“Adam does that.” Tommy hated himself as soon as the sentence had passed his lips.

“Adam does what?” Ciara asked, taking a mug of coffee from him.

“Nothing, forget I said anything.”

“No, it’s important. Please tell me.”

“What you were doing just then when you were listening to that song.”

“What was I doing?” She knew, but wanted him to talk about Adam and their relationship. The more he talked about Adam, the more he would think about going home.

“You’d lost yourself in the rhythm and the words. I could tell because your eyes were closed and you had a smile on your face. A…Adam does that too.”

“That’s one of my favourite songs. It was playing when I told Oli I was were and he said he didn’t care he loved me just the way I am. So I play it whenever I can, it reminds me that there is someone who loves me, the whole of me, and I love him.”

“Unchained Melody is an old song, my dad used to like it.”

“Yeah it is, but some of the old songs are far better than some of the new ones the radio stations play.”

“I agree.”

“It’s good to talk about Adam and the things he does. It shows you care about him.”

“I love him, it’s so hard not being with him.”

“All the more reason to think about what you really want.”

“But I can’t go back, I…what if I hurt him like that wolf did to me? Then you’d have to…”

“Oh Tommy, that was an entirely different matter.”

“But I don’t want him getting hurt and I certainly don’t want to hurt any of my family and friends.”

“You won’t. I promise you that if you love someone your protection instinct will take over and you won’t hurt any of them, you’ll protect them no matter what.”

“I can’t take that risk.”

“We can help you. We’re not going to tell you to leave until you’re ready and only _you_ will know when that is. If it takes days, weeks, months or even years, no-one is going to tell you what to do.”

“Thank you for being so understanding and patient.”

“Hey, that’s what we’re here for. Besides we’ve all gone through what you’re experiencing.”

Tommy put down his coffee then hugged her.

“You give great hugs Tommy.” She smiled when he let her go.

“Yeah, Adam says that too.”

She saw sadness flash across his face. “Ok, let’s take a look at what you’ve been writing.”

Reluctantly he handed over the notebook. “Please don’t laugh. I know some of the things on there may be silly, but it’s what I’d miss if…well because I’m not going home.”

“No-one is going to laugh at anything you’ve written, you should see some of the lists I’ve had people do for me. Oh my! But that’s another story. Tonight is about what Tommy Joe Ratliff is going to miss…ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

Ciara looked at the notebook.

**Life with Adam                                                        Life without Adam**

Lazy days off spent in bed.                                      No more guitar playing

Playing guitar for him.                                             No concert tours

Cooking breakfast in bed for him.                           No making him laugh

Holding him                                                            Not being able to hold him, tell him I love him

Kissing him                                                             No taking him to dinner at my mom’s

Telling him I love him                                              Not being able to show him how much I love him.

 

Ciara re-read the lists, she could feel tears forming. She had never met a man who loved anyone as Tommy loved Adam.

“They’re silly aren’t they?”

“No Tommy, they’re not. They tell me that you are very much in love with Adam Lambert and without him your life isn’t going to be happy.”

“What can I do though? He’s not going to want a werewolf for a boyfriend.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Wow, we’ve been talking so long the sun has nearly set. Let’s find Oli, he’s going to video us shifting so you can see what happens. Then if you do go back to Adam you can show him on a screen first rather than in the flesh, so to speak. It won’t be as terrifying for him as it would if he was in the same room as you. If he doesn’t react to it you’ll know he accepts you for who you are.”

“How can I ever thank you for everything you’re doing for me?”

“We just want to see you happy Tommy, that would be thanks enough. Oh and after we’ve shifted we’re going to have some fun.”

“Why what are we going to do?”

“Now that would be telling.” She winked. “Come on let’s find Oli.”

^V^

Ciara, Tommy and the pack had been running through the woods when they came to a clearing that had a beautiful lake at the centre. How did Tommy not know this existed? He’d lived in LA all his life. It was a quiet place that he thought he’d like to come back to in human form.

He watched as the younger ones bounded up to the lake and jumped in. Yaps and growls filling the air as they swan, then chased each other back on dry land.

Tommy sat watching them wishing he was as carefree as they were. He felt a nose nudge his neck. Turning he saw Ciara, she was indicating that he should try it. He shook his head. How would he get dry? Wolves couldn’t use a towel could they! Nope he was staying on dry land.

But it seemed Ciara wasn’t taking no for an answer. She kept nudging him and no matter how much he shook his head and growled she wasn’t going to give up.

He huffed, he knew when he was beaten. Slowly standing he walked over to the edge of the lake. Ciara had already jumped in, turning to see where Tommy was.

He was still at the water’s edge. She barked at him, gingerly he put one paw into the water, retracting it quickly as it was cold, and Tommy the human didn’t like cold.

Ciara huffed at him, turning her head to the side as if questioning why he wasn’t joining them. He was about to try again when he was given no choice. Two of the young male wolves had been chasing each other and boys being boys were running but not really looking where they were going. The next thing Tommy knew he was being catapulted into the water. The boys had both run into him sending him flying into the lake.

When he surfaced he noticed Ciara watching him and he thought he sensed her laughing at him. But wolves don’t laugh!

Regaining his composure he paddled to the edge, only to be stopped by Ciara and Stacey eager for him to swim with them. Well he _was_ wet now, he supposed a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.

After a few minutes splashing around, what Tommy thought as swimming, he made his way to the bank. Shaking himself off, he’d seen the others do it, he sat watching the pack one by one get out of the water to go and sit near Ciara. It was a beautiful sight, this grey wolf being loved and respected by everyone else.

A few minutes after they’d all emerged from their watery playground Ciara howled then one by one everyone else joined in, including Tommy.

After wandering around her pack Ciara sat down next to Tommy. He felt safe with this group of people, maybe he’d stay with them, become another member of the pack.

He must have been lost in his thoughts because he felt someone nudge him. Looking into Ciara’s blue eyes he understood what Oli saw in her, she was beautiful. Before he could do anything she growled then ran off followed closely by everyone else. Tommy knew he had to follow so bounded off after them.

It wasn’t long before they were back at the house. Each of the were’s going to their rooms. Ciara and Tommy headed for the lounge where they found Oli asleep on the sofa. Tommy huffed and watched as his friend joined her boyfriend on the sofa. He had a stupid thought _would Adam allow him on the sofa in his wolf form? If so would he leave dog hairs behind?_ He continued watching, happy that Ciara and Oli felt so comfortable with each other that they could sleep, one human with one were.

He yawned, made his way to his own bed. He had to admit he’d enjoyed their run and his impromptu swim.

 

Tbc


	6. Chapter 6

Adam was woken by wolves howling. Normally the noise outside didn’t bother him, but since Tommy had disappeared, he’d not been sleeping well and any loud noise, no matter what it was had woken him. He got out of bed, wrapping himself in his duvet he went to look out of the window. The wolves must have been close, or the breeze was carrying the sound through the night.

He smiled, he’d always thought wolves to be beautiful creatures. He still had the original Aquarian Wolf on his lounge wall. He’d helped to design it and everyone who’d seen it had commented on how the eyes drew you in.

“What are you up to out there in the night? Are you true wolves or are you were’s?” He shook his head smiling. _Lambert, you’ll go crazy talking to yourself._ But he opened the window further just to listen to their call. He wondered what was making them howl, was it because of the full moon or was one of them in danger? Maybe it was just so they could let of steam.

Shivering, he pulled the window closed but not quite fully, he enjoyed listening to the sounds of the night. Climbing back on the bed he thought about Tommy. Where was he? What had made him go? Why did he run when he saw Sutan? So many questions going around in his head he didn’t have answers for. If only Tommy would contact him, he wouldn’t be mad all he wanted was for him to come home. He didn’t care why his boyfriend had run, whatever it was they could sort it out. _Maybe you pushed too soon for him to come and stay here? Maybe he wanted to take things slower._ “Oh Tommy whatever it was, we can sort it out. I will do whatever you want. Even if I have to wait until you say you want to move in, I don’t care how long that takes. I just want you home.”

There was a knock at his door. “Adam vayvee, are you ok?”

“Come in Sutan, yeah I’m fine.”

Sutan’s head appeared around the door. “Hi, I just had to use the bathroom and I heard you talking. Are you ok, who were you talking to?”

“I’m ok, I was talking to myself. I know…crazy.”

Sutan went to sit on the edge of the bed. Taking his friends hand. “No, Adam not crazy. You have so many unanswered questions, I’d be the same if my boyfriend had disappeared. Wanna talk about it?”

“I know you said he was ok, but I just want to hear his voice, telling _me_ he’s ok. I want to ask him why he left and what I could do for him to come back to me. I…I know it’s probably my fault he left.”

“Whoa, how do you work that one out?”

“I told him that when he came around he was to bring his toothbrush as I wasn’t going to let him go, not now I’d finally got him. Maybe that’s not what he wanted and I scared him off.”

“Now stop right there with those thoughts. You did not frighten him off. He would have told you if he hadn’t wanted to be with you. The fact that he said he’s had to go _because_ he loves you, tells me that there’s something else going on with him that he’s frightened will have you hating him.”

“I could never hate Tommy Joe, I love him too much.”

“And he knows you love him. That press conference told the whole of California how much you love him. I’m sure he saw it. Those people who he’s staying with have his best interests at heart. They were…are looking after him.”

“Oh Sutan, I hope so.”

“You need to sleep vayvee.”

“I know, but I was listening to the wolves, that’s what woke me.”

“I heard them too, they sound beautiful as well as terrifying.”

“Do you think Tommy heard them too? Do you think he’s still in LA?”

“Yes I believe he’s still in LA. Those people said he was staying with them. Do I think he heard the wolves? Yeah, I do. Tommy would be thinking of horror movies though, not the beautiful creatures they are.” Adam laughed. “now that’s better vayveey. I like seeing you laugh.”

“I just had an image of Tommy Joe watching horror movies with me hiding behind a cushion. Not really my kind of fun.”

“No, but you’d watch them for TJ.”

“Yea, I would.” He hugged Sutan. “Thank you Sut, for staying with me tonight.”

“Anytime, you know I’ll always be there for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Now how about trying to get some more sleep? Aren’t you meeting Ritchie tomorrow to go through your set lists?”

“Yeah, I am. But still wish I didn’t have to.”

“I know. Maybe TJ will be back in time for the rest of your tour.”

“I’m keeping my fingers crossed.”

“In the meantime, you have to remain positive and keep living. Tommy wouldn’t want you shutting yourself away.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts, you have to keep going, even though it’s difficult. We’re all here for you and will help in any way we can.”

“Thank you Sutan.” Adam yawned. “I’m gonna try to sleep some more.”

“Excellent idea. I’ll bring you coffee in the morning.” He hugged his friend.

“Mmm sounds good, thank you.”

“My pleasure, now sleep! Otherwise Raja may tell you off and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.” They both laughed.

“Night Sut.”

Sutan watched as Adam slid down on the bed, before leaving his friend to sleep.

^V^

Tommy couldn’t sleep, he didn’t know whether it was his insomnia or his wolf metabolism that was causing it. He lay on the floor, he didn’t want to get _wolf_ hairs on Ciara’s bedclothes. He lay listening for noises around the house. It all seemed quiet. He got up, started pacing around the room. There were so many thoughts going around in his head, maybe this was the reason he couldn’t sleep?

He needed to get out of this room, so quietly he made his way to the decking. He watched the sky turn a dark blue before he lay down still thinking about what he had become.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he realised was his body shifting back to human form and voices whispering in another room. Ciara had been right his senses had become heightened now he was were.

“Stacey you can’t do that. Yes I know it’s what should ideally happen, but you can’t go making decisions for people. You have to let them decide on their _own_.”

Tommy didn’t know who this was about, but Ciara sounded angry with the young girl.

“I’m going out!”

“No young lady you are to stay here today.”

“But you said…”

“No, and besides I need your help today to look after the little ones.”

“Why is it always me?”

“Because I trust you.”

“Nnngh I wish I hadn’t…”

Tommy didn’t want them to think he’d been eavesdropping. “Morning.”

“Oh morning Tommy, is everything ok? We saw you asleep out there and didn’t want to disturb you.”

“No you didn’t and yeah I’m fine.”

“How was the shift back?”

“Pretty good actually, I wasn’t in pain, it just felt weird though.”

“Yeah, that will take some getting used to but glad the pain has gone. I have an idea, but first I need to sort things out here.” Ciara looked at Stacey.

“Sure do you want me to leave you to it?”

“No, you’re ok to stay. Stacey was just going to watch the little ones in the pool whilst their parents have some alone time.”

“Oh, ok.”

“Stacey it’ll only be for the morning, then I promise you’ll have the remainder of the day to yourself. I also promise you won’t have to do any more chores today.”

The girl sighed. “Okaaay, but I’m going out with Miriam at the weekend.”

“And I won’t stop you. Now please, I need to talk to Tommy and I can already hear some of the youngsters in the garden. Just remember they aren’t allowed beyond the boundary fence.”

“I remember.” She pouted as she left.

“Is everything ok? She didn’t seem too happy. I’m sorry but I overheard you telling her off.”

“Mmmm, she has a lot to learn, I know she’s only 16 but she thinks she can meddle in people’s lives and they’ll be grateful to her.”

“Ah, I see. Can I ask you something?”

“I’ve told you, anything.”

“How long has she been here, where are her parents?”

“She’s been here about five years. Both her parents are deceased, along with her brother.”

“Oh my that must be terrible for her. How…tell me to mind my own business, but how did her family die?”

“It’s not a secret, none of us who live here have secrets.” She handed Tommy a coffee. “Come on let’s go sit down.” She led him through to the lounge. “About six years ago Stacey and her family were going on holiday. They’d decided to go camping. Anyway as they were travelling to the campsite their car broke down. They were waiting for a tow truck when a rogue pack of wolves attacked. He parents and brother were killed outright but Stacey, being only small, managed to hide and the wolves thankfully didn’t find her. The tow truck guys found the carnage and reported it to the police. Stacey was sent to live with her aunt, unawares she’d been scratched by a were. During the next full moon Stacey shifted much to the horror of her aunt and family. They didn’t kick her out, they just made her stay in an outbuilding all the time, taking her food, water and blankets when they felt like it. It was a horrible way for a child to live. Anyway, long story short, she ran away. Eventually finding herself here. She doesn’t want to talk about her survival between leaving her aunts and arriving here. All she’ll say is she did what she had to do to survive. She was feisty when she arrived, but she’s calmed down a lot. Although she still thinks she can go around sorting people’s problems out without thinking about the consequences.”

“Ah, I see. Why does she have to watch the younger ones? I thought you had secure fencing and security cameras making sure everyone’s safe?”

“Yeah we do, unfortunately there are some were’s out there that aren’t friends and will try to convince the little ones to go and _play_ with them. Being naïve the younger ones will go and play.” She looked as though she was going to cry.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that we had a young girl abducted last year and when we found her body it was…let’s just say that what they did to her would have got them life if they’d been human.”

“Fuck! Oh m’sorry.”

“No, don’t apologise. We said the same. So we have to make sure there’s an older person out there with them. We haven’t seen anyone lurking around, but we’re not taking any chances.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“So Tommy, how are you feeling this morning?”

“I’m good. I’m sorry I slept on your decking. I didn’t want to get wolf hairs on your bedding.” Ciara laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Oh Tommy, wolves aren’t like dogs, they don’t shed all the time. Wolves shed their hair usually around the beginning of April and continue until May. We do that the same time each year. When we do shed our fur it’s the entire undercoats and some of our guard hairs.”

“Huh?”

“Ok a bit of biology for you. Are you ready?”

“Um yeah…I think!”

“Right, so wolves have two layers of fur. The outer and the guard layer, which is composed of long, coarse hairs which is how we get rid of water and snow. These coarse hairs are what gives us our coat colour.” Tommy looked confused. “Ok, so far?”

“Snow?”

“Yeah, I know we don’t often see the white stuff in LA but if we did it doesn’t melt on our fur, it means we can shake it off.”

“Ah…ok.”

“In the spring the inner layer of wool is shed to help keep us cool during the summer.”

“Wow, so if I sit on furniture I won’t be told off for leaving hairs all over the place.”

“No.” she giggled.”

“What? I’ve got a lot to learn.” But even he laughed.

“You’re even more beautiful when you laugh, your eyes light up.”

He blushed. “Adam always said he loved to see me laugh.” He stopped smiling.

“It’s ok Tommy, you can talk as much about Adam as you want. I love hearing what you have to say. I’ve never met anyone famous until I met you.”

“I’m not famous. I just stand on stage playing guitar.”

“But everyone knows who you are. We all recognised you. And we’re so happy to have met you.”

“Thank you. How would you like me to play for you all tonight after dinner? As…well as a thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Wow, that would be amazing. I’m pleased you feel you want to play your guitar again.”

“I’ve picked it up a couple of times but never really played anything properly since I got here.”

“Well it shows you’re feeling better with yourself.”

“Yeah, I have to admit I do feel calmer than I did when I first arrived and it’s all thanks to everyone here.” He blushed. “What did you want to talk to me about before we changed the subject?”

Ciara laughed “It just goes to show you’re comfortable with who you are now. You’re not panicking about who you’ve become and how you’re going to live.”

“Mmm, I suppose.”

“Right, now down to business. You realise last night was the last full moon for roughly 27 days, that means you won’t shift until then. But I’m going to teach you how to shift without being reliant on the moon.”

“Huh?”

“Look at it this way. You can wait for the full moon and be dependant on that, bearing in mind you won’t have any control and you’ll shift wherever you are, or you can control your wolf and shift any time you want, including during the day.”

“Oh!”

“There are advantages and disadvantages of both.”

“K, disadvantages first.”

“Picture this. You’re in bed with you boyfriend, snuggling after hot sex and it’s getting dark, it’s a night for a full moon, when suddenly you shift right there in your boyfriend’s bed, worse still his arms.”

“Oh!”

“If you can control your wolf then even with a full moon you can make sure you’re somewhere not so…let’s say embarrassing.”

“Ah, I see what you mean.” But what about disadvantages when I can control him.”

“Now that’s a bit tricky. If you’re with a group of people and someone makes you angry your fangs will drop, but if you are in control then it should go no further, just remember to keep him under control, and everything will be ok.”

“Wow, lots to learn.”

“Yeah, but you can do it.”

“With your help…if…if that’s ok?”

“Of course it is. I wouldn’t ask you to do it any other way.”

“When can we start?”

“How about we take a walk and practice this afternoon?”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

“Then when we get back you can play for us.”

“Sure.”

“Hey, there you are.”

“Hey Oli, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just wondered what you were talking about.”

“I’m going to show Tommy how to control his wolf then he’s going to play his guitar for us.”

“That’s fantastic, I’ll let you two work and I’ll see you later.”

Ciara kissed him then linking her arm in Tommy’s they headed into the woods.

^V^

They’d been walking for about 20 minutes when Tommy stopped.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well we’ve been walking, talking about everything but why we’re out here.”

“Did you want me to go straight into _here you go Tommy this is how you control your wolf?_ Or did you want to feel relaxed and not have any pressure on you?”

“I see your point. But I’m wondering if the longer you keep me here the more likely it is I’ll change my mind and go back to Adam.” He was on the verge of tears but he was angry not upset.

“Let’s sit.” Ciara realised that Tommy’s quick change in moods was all connected with being a new were, so she wasn’t angry with him.

“I’d rather not!” He knew his temper was rising, he knew he wasn’t normally like this, but he just didn’t want to be anywhere that kept reminding him of what and who he’d left behind. “What was the point of the writing those lists? Was it another way of trying to _make_ me go back?”

“We’re not trying to make you do anything. We just want to help. What’s happened to the Tommy who was fine earlier and yesterday?”

He leant against the nearest tree. “Stacey was talking about me wasn’t she? That argument you were having this morning…?”

Ciara sighed. “Yes it was. She wanted to contact Adam, I don’t know how she thought she would do it. But she wanted to tell him where you were so you could be together again.”

“I can’t go back! Why won’t you all realise that?!

“Calm down, you’re only going to bring your wolf forward and then where would we be? We couldn’t have a sensible conversation.”

“Maybe I WANT him to appear, then you’d see how dangerous I could be and you’d let me leave.”

“I’m not stopping you. You can leave whenever you want. Just remember if you shift when you’re angry there’s no telling what you could do. That’s why I want to help you.”

“Well maybe I want to be angry, then you’d have to _sort_ me out like they did to the one that made me like this!” He broke down, he couldn’t stop the tears, no matter how he tried. He’d had so much anger in him for what had happened in New York, topped with the hurt he was feeling about leaving Adam and his family. Sinking to his knees he hugged himself and rocked.

Ciara watched and waited until she could see the tension leave his body. Going over and kneeling in front of him she pulled him into a hug. “Ssshh, it’s ok. Cry as much as you want. You need to let it go. You’ve been holding all this back, trying to be ok with what’s happening to you. When all along you’re terrified. Don’t let it eat away inside you. We’ve all been there so we know how you’re feeling. Sshh it’s going to be ok I promise you.” She clung on tightly rubbing circles on his back.

Tommy’s sobs turned to hiccups as he tried to calm himself down. “I’m…m’so…”

“Sshh you don’t have to apologise you’re not the first to feel like this and you certainly won’t be the last.”

They remained like that for a while before Tommy pulled away. “You…you are a good person Ciara. I can see why Oli loves you so very much and why he wants to do whatever he has to, to remain with you.”

“Oh sweetheart, you’ll have that special someone on day. You’ll know when they’ll do anything to be with you.”

“I…I really do want to know how to control my wolf. I just…well I just don’t think I’m going to find anyone like you have Oli.”

“Never say never, you don’t know what’s around the next corner.”

“Hopefully not a big truck!” he smiled and Ciara laughed.

“Now that’s the Tommy I like to see. Ok you up for a short walk, then I’ll teach you what you want to know.”

“Yeah, sure…and thank you.”

“My pleasure.” She stood holding out her hand to help him up.

They continued their walk, Ciara talking about what it was like to be the Alpha, Tommy telling her how he’d come to meet Adam and the rest of the crew. He even told her what he’d been doing before his audition. He said that working in the call centre had been the second worst part of his life. When she asked what the first was, he’d gone quiet on her, so she didn’t push it further. She knew he’d say when he was good and ready.

As they cleared the trees Tommy realised they were in the same idyllic place they’d been the previous night when he’d _gone for a swim._

“This place is beautiful at night but even more so in the sunshine. I’ve lived in LA all my life and didn’t know this was here.”

“Mmm, it is gorgeous. Oli and I come here when we want some peace and quiet from the pack.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“You’re welcome. Now how about we go sit on those rocks and talk about how you’re going to control your wolf.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” He smiled.

As they talked Ciara had Tommy do some breathing exercises. Then she had him close his eyes and think of the beautiful creature he had inside him.

They worked on calmly pulling the wolf out and then making sure Tommy didn’t force him back inside. He found when he thought too hard about that, his wolf always wanted to stay and play.

Tommy yawned. “I’m so sorry Ciara, I…wow it must be all the hard work and fresh air.”

“You’re right and I think we’ve done enough for one day. There are still things you need to know but they can wait.”

“I’m ok, honest.”

“No let’s go back and enjoy a meal, then you can play for us…if you still want to?”

“Of course I do. Ok I’m ready.” He got up to start walking.

“Nope, not so fast Mr Ratliff.” He stared at her. “Now you know how to bring your wolf forward, we’re going to do it together then I’ll race you home.” She had a wicked smile on her face.

“Oooo, so that’s how you want to play it, is it? Ok, let’s go!”

Ciara watched as the beautiful golden wolf appeared before shifting and standing next to him. They stared at one another just seconds before Ciara’s wolf barked and shot off at speed into the woods. Tommy’s wolf yelped and took off after her.

They were having so much fun they didn’t realise they’d made it back to the house in record time. Oli was on the decking watching the little ones when both wolves bounded into the garden.

Tommy was in the lead, but Ciara was nipping at his tail.

Oli laughed as he saw them appear but his laughter changed to a warning when he realised Tommy hadn’t seen the ball in his way. He careened into it sending it flying into the pool, shortly followed by himself. Ciara had managed to break just before she joined the watery end and padded over to her boyfriend.

Tommy was now swimming to the side desperate to get out. As Ciara shifted back their new friend was padding around the pool to them.

They watched as Tommy cocked his head to one side before huffing then shaking the water from his coat all over the both of them, at which point they stopped laughing.

Tommy shifted back then burst into fits of giggles.

“So not funny Tommy, we’re soaked!”

Through giggles he managed “serves you right for laughing at me.” Then all three of them started laughing again.

Dinner was a noisy affair. Some of the kids had been invited to a pool party and they were deciding who they wanted to go with them. To get away from the noise Tommy offered to do the dishes. He was half way through when Oli joined him.

“Don’t just stand there watching me, get a towel and dry them. That can be your punishment for not warning me about the ball _and_ for laughing at me.” Tommy giggled.

“It’s good to see you laughing again. It seems as though everything went ok this afternoon.”

“It did, thanks. Although it was a bit shaky at the start.”

“Well as they say that’s in the past, onwards and upwards.”

“Yep.”

“Are you sure you want to play for us?”

“I do, it’ll be a change from just staring at my guitar.”

“Look why don’t you let me finish up here and you go get your guitar and I’ll be in shortly.”

“Great, thanks”

Oli watched a very different Tommy disappear up stairs to the one he’d met only a week beforehand.

The pack were in awe of Tommy’s playing, he played everything from Blues to Rock, even throwing in a couple of Queen songs just for one of the guys who’d shouted his request when Tommy had asked if there was anything they’d like him to play.

He was just about to start on Unchained Melody for Ciara and Oli when one of his strings broke. “I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen but as I don’t have any spares I’m afraid that’s all for tonight.”

A round of applause and thank you’s went around the room. Some came and shook his hand before heading to their own rooms.

When it was just Ciara, Oli and Tommy left the blond took a deep breath and asked, “Oli if it’s not too much trouble in the morning would you take me to the mall so I can get some new strings?”

“Sure, not a problem. I’ll do some food shopping if we need anything, kill two birds with one stone.”

“Great thanks.” He left, yawning as he headed to his room.

“Wow, that’s progress.” Oli pulled his girlfriend in for a hug. “How was this afternoon?”

She told him about Tommy’s breakdown and the things she’d learned about him. She also said how quickly he’d learned to be in control of his wolf.

“Do you think he’ll go back?”

“Before the breakdown I’d have said no, but…honestly I really don’t know now. He’s still holding something back but I don’t want to ask too many questions, don’t want him to think I’m prying.”

“Maybe he’ll open up to me?”

“Maybe but don’t force it. Don’t want to push all the hard work we’ve done onto a back burner.”

“Ok my love. I’m just happy that he asked to go into town. That would not have happened a couple of days ago.”

“No and even earlier today I wouldn’t have said he’d ask that. Something must have clicked on our run back this afternoon.”

“Or maybe it was the soaking he got when you got home.”

“Whatever it was, I’m certain he’s over the worst.” She kissed him before leading him to bed.

^V^

Adam was awake when Sutan knocked on his door. “Breakfast is served.”

“Come in Sutan, I’m awake.”

“Aw vayvee have you had anymore sleep?”

“Yeah a bit but I can’t stop thinking.”

“And that’s dangerous!” Sutan smiled.

“Not you as well? Neil tells me I shouldn’t I may hurt myself.” He smiled but his friend noticed it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Right Mr Lambert, eat your breakfast whilst it’s hot, then shower, make yourself presentable then we can go see Ritchie and the band. You have got a rehearsal today haven’t you?”

“I have, I just…”

“Nope, no just anything. You’re going to carry on with everything. Tommy Joe would want you to. Besides Raja will kick you into shape if you don’t.”

Adam laughed. “And I definitely don’t want Raja kicking me. Thanks Sut.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now eat up and I’ll see you downstairs in 20 minutes.”

“K.” Adam smiled as his friend left the room.

In record time, for Adam, he was downstairs checking his emails before he went out. Noticing a new contract ready for him to sign. He’d need to talk to Neil first though.

“Sutan, I’m off!”

“Hey wait for me.”

“I thought you’d be going home?”

“Not today, I’ve decided to spend it with my Glamily. So come on let’s get to rehearsals.” He linked arms with Adam as they headed to the rehearsal studio.

Everyone was waiting for them and cheered when they saw Sutan. Hugs and kisses abounded before Neil, being Neil, stopped them all.

“This is supposed to be helping Ritchie, not a social gathering.”

“Neil, we’re fine, I’m sure Ritchie knows what he’s doing.”

“Isaac Carpenter, we’re depending on him to get this right, you know what the critics will say.”

“Neil, stop being my manager for one minute and be my brother. Ritchie is fine, the critics can say what they want, it’s the crowd we’re gonna please, so…do us all a favour, go put the coffee on!” Neil stood opening and closing his mouth, no sound coming out. “Please Neil we’re going to need lots of coffee.”

Neil knew when he was beaten. “Ok!” disappearing into the kitchen.

For the remainder of the morning, the rehearsals went ok. Ritchie was a great guitar player, but didn’t _know_ Adam as Tommy did so there were a few hiccups to iron out.

“M’sorry Adam, I promise I’ll get that section in Lucy right.”

“I know you will.” He smiled.

“Lunch is here!” Sophie had brought them all sandwiches. “How’s it going?”

“Ok, couple of things to sort but we’ll be ready for Monday.”

“How are you Adam?”

“M’ok.”

“Really?” She could see dark circles under his eyes.

“I miss him Soph, I just want him home, I don’t care why he thought he had to leave, we can sort things out.”

“Aww honey, he will come home, he maybe just needs time to sort himself out.” She hugged him.

“Erm Mrs Carpenter, your husband here would like a hug too.”

Adam winked at Sophie. “Come on then Isaac, I’ll give you a hug.” Sophie giggled.

“Not you Lambert, I want a hug from my wife.”

“Oh sorry I thought you meant me.”

“Keep tellin’ ya, wrong equipment for me bossman.”

“Isaac Carpenter, that’s no way to speak to Adam.”

“It’s ok Sophie, at least he’s not afraid to say stuff like that. It keeps me going having Isaac and his sense of humour around me.” Adam headed off to get some food.

“He’s hurting so bad Sophie.”

“I can see that. You’ll just have to make sure he stays upbeat for the shows.”

“I’ll try.” He kissed her.

“Purlease Carpenter, get a room!”

Isaac flipped Adam off as he kissed his wife again.

The afternoon’s rehearsal didn’t go quite as smoothly as it had during the morning, and it had nothing to do with Ritchie.

Isaac was getting carried away with _We Will Rock You_ when he broke a drumstick.

“Fuck!” he stopped and everyone glared at him.

“Problem?”

“Yeah Neil, broke a stick.”

“Well…don’t you musician’s always carry spares?”

“Um, no, was going to get some but then…well you know, stuff happened.”

“Let’s call it a day. We can resume tomorrow afternoon. I’m sure we could all do with an early night. Then our esteemed drummer here can go shopping in the morning and be ready to go again say…1pm tomorrow?”

“Great Adam, thanks. I know the music store in the mall has the brand of stick I like so I’ll call on my way here.”

“Fantastic. Well thanks everyone for a good rehearsal. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

One by one they left leaving Neil, Sutan and Adam to lock up.

“Want me to stay again tonight?”

“Thanks Sutan, but I’ve got to try and get used to being on my own. Just in case…”

“Stop thinking like that, he’ll be back. In the meantime, I’ll come back with you my car’s at yours.”

“K. Oh Neil the new contract arrived today.”

“Yeah, I got a copy too. Don’t do anything until I’ve read it.”

“Ok.”

“I’m sorry I’ve got to run, I’m taking Elisse out for a meal.”

“No worries. Have a lovely time and give the beautiful woman a kiss from me. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bye.” And he was gone.

“Are you sure you’ll be ok tonight.”

“I’ve got to be, no other way around it.”

“Well if you need me then ring me any time of the night and I’ll come around.”

“Thanks, you’re a great friend.” He hugged him before they turned off the lights and headed back to Adam’s.

^V^

Tommy was waiting for Oli, he had to admit he was nervous and pacing up and down wasn’t really helping. Why had he ever thought it would be? If he’d looked in the mirror once that morning he’d looked a dozen times. He’d found a black eyeliner in a pocket of his rucksack and for the first time since New York he’d lined his golden eyes. He’d stared at himself, he still looked like Tommy Joe Ratliff, his dyed blond hair still had a mind of its own. What had he expected? Did he think his wolf would somehow be visible even in human form? He’d shaken his head, told his reflection to stop being stupid then gone to wait for his new friend. His pacing, like his breathing was getting faster, he could feel a panic attack coming on. _Stop it Ratliff, you’re ok, you’re doing fine with your wolf so stop worrying._ He hadn’t had a panic attack since…well since Liz. Now there was someone he’d like to scare with his wolf. He found himself smiling. Oh what revenge that would be.

“Penny for them Tommy?”

He hadn’t heard Oli enter the room. “Oh, I was just thinking.”

“Well whatever it was, must have been good as it made you smile.”

“Mmm, well let’s just say I was not being a nice person. I was thinking how good it would be to scare a certain person with my wolf.”

“Oh and who may that be?”

“Just someone I’d rather not talk about. She…well she’s a complete bitch.”

“Ah. Well if you ever feel the need to explain you know where I am.”

“Thanks. But really, she’s not worth the effort.”

“No problem, but I’m here for you.”

“I know. Are you ready to go?”

“Sure got my _exciting_ shopping list.” He waved a piece of paper at Tommy. “How do people enjoy going shopping for food?”

Tommy laughed. “I have no idea, I don’t do much of that, what with being on the road and when I am home, well there’s always take out.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, he was thinking about Adam and the rest of the group.

Oli noticed something flash across Tommy’s face. “Wow I’ve just noticed you look amazing with eyeliner.” He wanted to take the blonds mind off whatever had caused him to look sad.

“Thanks, didn’t realise I had it with me, found it at the bottom of one of the pockets in my bag. So thought I’d see what my new eye colour looked like with it on.”

“They look awesome.”

“Thanks.” He blushed.

“Who looks amazing? Wow Tommy you’re gorgeous.” Ciara saw what they were talking about.

He blushed a deeper shade of red. “Thanks, I always used to wear it when I was with Adam.”

“Well please don’t stop, your eyes are beautiful and the liner makes them really stand out.”

“It’s not too much?”

“No Tommy, you’re a very beautiful man and you should always show off that beauty.” She went to hug him.

“Thank you…both of you. I…well I didn’t really know what was going to happen to me but you’ve both been there for me and helped me more than you realise.” He hugged her back.

“That’s what we’re here for. Now both of you go, leave this girl to have a bit of peace and quiet.” She smiled.

“Trying to get rid of me are you?”

“Oliver I never want rid of you. I just want some me time for a change.” She went over and kissed him. Tommy smiled, he wished he had the kind of relationship they had, someone who just loved you for who you were.

“Hey Tommy, are you ready?”

“What? Oh yeah sorry, just thinking.”

“Wow, dangerous!” They all laughed.

As Oli and Tommy pulled out the driveway Ciara smiled, maybe there was some hope that Tommy would go back to where he belonged…in the arms of Adam Lambert.

^V^

“Want me to come to the music store with you?”

“Would you mind if I went on my own? I’ve got to get used to being on my own, so…”

“Not a problem. Look, you have your phone with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, well you’ll find both mine and Ciara’s numbers programmed into it. We do that with all the ones we give out. If you feel that things are getting too much for you then ring me and I’ll come and get you.”

“Th…thanks, but I’m hoping I’ll be ok.”

“And you will be, but it’s there if you need me.”

“Thanks.”

“Shall we say meet at the coffee shop opposite the music store in about an hour? That way it’ll give you time to get what you need and maybe have a look around. Plus, I’ll have plenty of time to get this lot.” He held up the list again. “How any woman can write a list this long and say _oh it’s only a couple of bits we need_. Hmph, I’d hate to see a long list.”

“My mom does that. Lisa, that’s my sister, isn’t so bad…yet. But I agree their short list is a man’s long list.” They both laughed as they got out of the car.

“Right I’ll see you in an hour. And remember I’m just a phone call away.”

“Yeah.” He smiled.

Oli watched as Tommy headed in the direction of the music store, hoping he didn’t have the type of encounter he had last time they’d been here.

Tommy took a leisurely walk to the store constantly glancing around hoping he didn’t see anyone he knew. He felt his pulse quicken, he couldn’t have a panic attack not in the middle of the mall, what would people think? He also felt something else, something new. His wolf was present, he felt it pushing forwards…no wait…it wasn’t trying to get out it was helping him calm down. Wow that was something Ciara hadn’t mentioned. It had sensed he was nervous and its presence was having a calming effect. Shaking his head in wonder he smiled, continuing his mission for new guitar strings.

The guitar he’d admired the other day had gone from the window, to be replaced with a bass guitar reminding him how everything had begun with Adam. Staring at it he wondered what the beautiful man was doing? Had he found someone else to play for him? Had his record company found someone for him? He remembered Michael and how the man hadn’t like him playing for Adam. He thought Michael would be gloating now Tommy wasn’t around anymore.

Staring at the bass once more he sighed, he’d never know the answers so he’d just have to carry on with his new life and if he had his guitar, he’d be ok, he could busk somewhere or get studio jobs to pay his way.

He wasn’t really concentrating on where he was going as he entered the shop because he walked straight into someone who was just leaving.

“Oh! I’m sorry, my fault, I wasn’t…”

“TJ, wow!”

He’d walked straight into Isaac. “I…oh…erm…I…sorry.” He turned to leave but a gentle hand on his arm stopped him.

“Tommy, please…how are you?”

“Isaac…I…” he sighed he couldn’t run, not away from his best friend. “I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are…are you ok?”

“TJ I’m fine, no harm done. It’s you I want to know about, how are you? Where are you staying? Why did you leave like that? We’re all so worried about you, Adam is…”

“No, please don’t, I know how Adam is feeling, I saw the press conference.”

“Then why didn’t you ring him or text him, let him know you’re ok. He’s going out of his mind with worry, he’s not sleeping or eating properly he…”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear. What I did, am doing is best for you all especially Adam. I don’t want to hurt any of you.”

Tommy Joe Ratliff you are doing just that by disappearing.” He saw tears forming in his friends eyes. Eyes that seems even more golden that normal. “Look, there’s a coffee shop over there, please just come and have a coffee with me, explain to me why you thought you had to leave. I promise if you don’t want me to say anything to Adam I won’t. We’ve been friends right from the start and we’ve both spilled our anger, frustration even happiness to each other and kept secrets whenever the time arouse. This is one of those times, I won’t say anything to anyone unless you tell me it’s ok.”

“I…I don’t know. You may not want anything to do with me if I tell you why I left.”

“Tommy you’re my best friend, I love you like a brother and I want to help. Want to make sense of why you thought leaving was the best thing to do.”

Tommy had silent tears running down his face. “Promise you won’t say anything to Adam?”

Isaac would find that difficult but he had promised his friend, plus he really did want to find the real reason why his friend felt he had to leave. Taking a deep breath, “ok, I don’t admit to liking that but yeah I promise, no telling Adam.”

Wiping away the tears. “K, thanks. Yeah coffee sounds good.”

“Fantastic, and I have some news for you too. I’ve not told anyone yet, so you’ll be the first and that’s how I would always want it to be.”

“Is…is the beautiful Sophie ok?” Tommy loved Isaac’s wife, she was funny, beautiful and could give back as much as he and Isaac threw at her. She had an amazing sense of humour and always understood when the band had to go on tour. Sometimes she’d even fly out to join them if they were staying in a place longer than a couple of nights. She’d done that when they were in Texas. Tommy smiled remembering how they hadn’t seen Isaac or Sophie for 24 hours.

“Sophie is fine. Now no more talk until we get a coffee. I need caffeine.”

“You always need caffeine, so nothing new there then.”

As they waited in the queue Tommy messaged Oli. I **…hope you don’t mind, am at coffee shop have bumped (literally) into an old friend. Take your time, I’m actually doing ok.**

Isaac was ordering their drinks when Tommy’s phone buzzed. **_Good for you. I’ll go do some window shopping if you like. Give you time to talk. I’m proud of you and Ciara will be too._**

Quickly messaging before Isaac saw **No, you can still meet me here when we said, I don’t think we’ll be long.**

**_Ok, but no rush, see you soon._ **

Isaac had turned just as he was sending the last message. “Who you chatting to?”

“Erm, just a friend, he erm well brought me into town. I’m…we…well we’re supposed to be meeting here in an hour he’s doing a food shop.”

“Oh, ok, how do you know him?”

“I’m staying at his.”

“Oh.”

“Nothing like that, he’s got a girlfriend, she lives with him. Besides there’s only Adam I’ve ever wanted.” He blushed as he put his phone away.

Isaac indicated to an empty table. “Let’s go sit.”

Once seated Tommy stared into his coffee. “So go on, tell me I’m stupid, tell me…”

“No TJ I would never do that. You must have had a very good reason to leave like you did, but I just want you to know that whatever that reason is, know that we all love and miss you and want you to come home. Whatever happened know that we can help you get through it. We love you, especially Adam.”

“And that’s why I had to leave.”

“Because Adam loves you?”

“No, because I love Adam so much I don’t want to hurt him…or…or worse.”

“I’m sorry Tommy but you’ve now completely lost me. What do you mean by _or worse?_ ”

“If I tell you you’re going to hate me, maybe think I’m disgusting and I know you’ll leave and not want anything more to do with me.”

“How do you reach that conclusion? I’ve been your friend for nearly ten years. Anything you’ve done or think you’ve done won’t make any difference to our friendship.”

“You can’t say that when I haven’t told you the reason.”

“Then for fuck sake TJ tell me. I want to know.” He reached across squeezing Tommy’s hand.

“Are you sure you want to hear about Tommy Joe Ratliff and what he’s turned into.”

“Tommy you’ve lost me, just tell me right from the beginning.”

“You have to promise not to interrupt. I may not finish if you do.”

“K, no interruptions, I promise.”

Tommy set to recalling everything from the argument he and Adam had in New York, the argument that led to him ending up in hospital. He told him how, when he’d removed the dressing on his neck the wound had disappeared. He remembered how seeing the change in his eyes had started him thinking about his attacker. He watched as Isaac’s eyes grew wide when he told him of the first time he’d shifted. He smiled when he was talking about how Oli and Ciara had helped him. He even said that Oli wanted to be changed so they could have cubs. Isaac laughed when Tommy told him about swimming. He knew Tommy so well that he imagined getting wet wasn’t one of the things Tommy enjoyed. Tommy even admitted that he was thinking of leaving LA altogether.

When he’d finished he stared at his friend waiting for him to get up and leave as quickly as possible without making a scene. What he wasn’t expecting was for Isaac to remain seated, just watching him.

“So…aren’t you going to run away, afraid I’m going to hurt you?”

“No, Tommy, I’m not.”

“Why, when you know what I am now.”

“Thomas Joseph Ratliff, you are my best friend. I don’t care you’re a werewolf, in fact I think it’s cool. I love you TJ you’re still you, with…well with a bit extra.”

“What the fuck Carpenter you think it’s cool I’m a fucking werewolf? How do you work that out? Besides if you were in my shoes and you shifted for the first time you wouldn’t be saying it’s cool because it fucking hurt like hell!”

“I’m sorry TJ I didn’t…well it didn’t come out the way I had that comment sorted in my head. I meant to say wolves are pack animals and look after each other. Well you have a _pack_ us miserable lot in the band, Adam and the dancers, you could watch over us. Make sure we’re safe.” Tommy laughed. “What? What did I say?”

“Oh and you can see Adam going right ahead and accepting me back knowing what I am? Yes he may want me in the band, but in his bed, making love to him, don’t you think he’d be terrified I may bite him and change him? No, that’s not Adam fuckin’ Lamberts idea of a boyfriend.” Tommy slammed his hands down on the table and stood.

“TJ where’re you going?”

“To get what I originally came into the mall for. My guitar string broke and I need a new one. Then I’m going back to Oli and Ciara’s and by tomorrow you won’t have to worry about me anymore, I’m leaving LA and no-one will be able to find me.”

“TJ wait.”

“Why? So you can tell me how much Adam’s missing me? Well for your information I’m missing him and it fucking hurts. Hurts more than me shifting for the first time.”

“But…”

“No Isaac, I have to do this, it’s the best and safest way for everyone.” He stormed off disappearing into the music store.

Isaac watched, he hated seeing how much his best friend was hurting. He was about to leave when someone put a hand on his shoulder.

“What the fuck! Who…”

“Hi, please don’t be alarmed my name’s Oli, I’m a friend of Tommy’s. I saw you talking and didn’t want to interrupt. It’s good to see him talking to you, he’s made so much progress this last couple of days. We’re hoping he’s going to change his mind and go home.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but he said he’s leaving LA today.

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Positive. Look he told me everything and I just want to thank you and your girlfriend for everything you’ve done for him. TJ can be a stubborn fucker. But I’m happy to know he’s had both of you helping him.”

“It’s what we do. Did he tell you I’m human?”

“Yeah, but you want to change so you can have children.”

“Yep. But what I’m saying is Tommy would be ok with Adam, he doesn’t have to become were just to be with Tommy. They could live extremely well together and their sex would be awesome.”

“Ew too much information. Sorry I know what you’re trying to say, and I know Adam wouldn’t mind that Tommy’s a were. It’s just trying to convince Tommy to talk to Adam. _He_ has to tell my boss who he is. They have to sit and talk this through. It’s ok me saying Adam wouldn’t care, Tommy has to hear it for himself.”

“I know what you mean.” He quickly looked across at the music store, still no sign of the blond. “I have an idea.”

“Oh and what is it?”

“Please understand I have to talk to Ciara first as she’s not just my girlfriend she’s also the Alpha of our pack, but if she agrees maybe we could arrange for Tommy and Adam to _accidentally_ meet.”

“That sounds great. Ok, I’ll go along with that.”

“Good, would you mind giving me your number then I can message you when I’ve spoken to Ciara.”

“No problem.” Isaac told him the number and Oli was just putting his phone away when Tommy came out of the store.

“Look I’m going to move tables before he realises we’ve been talking. You try and talk to him, don’t leave it with angry words between you. I can see how much he means to you.”

“Ok, and thanks Oli, for everything.”

“No worries.” He’d just managed to sit down looking at a menu as Tommy arrived back at Isaac’s table.

“You still here?” He glared at his friend.

“I am, and I’m not going to give up on our friendship. I miss you TJ.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just all the shit that’s happening to me is scaring the fuck out of me.”

“I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t know how to cope. I’m pleased you found your new friends to help you.”

“Yeah, so am I.” He hugged Isaac. “Hey didn’t you say you had something to tell me?”

“Oh yeah, with your news, I completely forgot.” He smiled.

“Well don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Sorry, yeah, well…Sophie’s pregnant.”

“Wow fantastic, congratulations to both of you. But…when…?”

“Yeah I wondered too. Do you remember she came to stay when we were in Texas?

“Oh yeah no wonder you didn’t leave your room for 24 hours.” Tommy smiled. “I’m really happy for you both.” He hugged him again. “That’s for Sophie. Tell her I love her and to make sure you wait on her. I don’t mind you telling your gorgeous wife you’ve seen me, I know she won’t say anything to anyone.”

“I will. Will you do something for me?”

“If I can.”

“Think about how much you love and miss Adam, and if you don’t want to see him face to face, at least call him, tell him what you’re told me today and let _him_ decide whether he wants to see you again. Just don’t assume he’s better off without you. Because I can see how much _you’re_ missing him.”

“I…I’ll think about it.”

“Promise?”

“On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You keep your promise you won’t tell him you’ve seen me.”

“Ok.”

“Thank you. Now go home, treat the beautiful Sophie to dinner and tell her love from me.”

“I will, but it’ll be tonight. I’ve got rehearsals to go to for Adam’s LA part of his tour.”

“How’s that going and which guitarist did the label tell you to hire.”

“Rehearsals are ok, better if you were there. The label didn’t have a say in the guitarist, your mom and Adam managed to get Ritchie.”

“Mom?”

“Yeah, her idea and Adam said yes.”

“Good, Ritchie’s a great guy.”

“But he’s not our pretty kitty.”

“I’m more flea bitten dog rather than kitty.” They laughed.

“I’m sure your wolf is beautiful, just like you Tommy Joe Ratliff.”

“Take care Isaac and congratulations to you both. Bye”

“Bye Tommy, take care, you know where I am if you need to talk.”

“Yeah, bye” Tommy watched as his friend left. Sitting down again he put his head in his hands, only looking up when he heard Oli sit down.

“Tommy are you ok? I saw you talking to someone so didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Oh hi, that was Isaac, my best friend and Adam’s drummer. I…I’ve…well he now knows I’m a werewolf.”

“And he didn’t leave?”

“No. He said it was cool and I could look after the pack, meaning Adam, the band and dancers.”

“There you go. He didn’t run away so that’s one step on the road to…”

“No don’t say returning, Isaac may be ok with it but that doesn’t mean Adam will be.”

“You should talk to him.”

“Not ready yet, besides I’m leaving LA.”

“Oh Tommy, I really wish you wouldn’t. Stay with us for a little bit longer. Please.”

Tommy sighed. “I’ll think about it…ok?”

“All I’m asking.”

“Thanks. Want a coffee?”

^V^

Isaac couldn’t stop thinking about the news his friend had told him, which led to his concentration lapsing during rehearsals.

“Isaac, I know you’ve got new drumsticks, but surely they shouldn’t affect your time keeping. That’s twice now we’ve had to stop, and Fever is one you should be able to play with your eyes closed.”

“Sorry, I…I’ve got a lot on my mind, I’ll be ready to go again in a minute, I just need to get some water.”

“Fine, just hurry up we’ve only got a few more days before the first concert.”

“I realise that Adam, I’ll be back in a minute.” He left the studio but instead of going to the kitchen he needed air so found himself on the pavement outside taking deep breaths. He hated himself for losing his concentration, he knew if he didn’t sort himself out Adam would want to know what was going on and right now he couldn’t say anything, he’d promised Tommy. But Adam needed to know Tommy was ok, he needed the blond back. Isaac knew his boss wouldn’t care that his boyfriend was were, but Tommy had to hear it from Adam. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Taking a deep breath he headed back inside, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before he went into the studio.

“The wanderer returns. I thought you said you wanted water?”

“Did, got some.” He held the bottle up.

“Where then did you disappear to, I came looking for you?”

“Sorry, I just needed some air.”

“Are you ok? You’re not ill are you?”

“What? No, not ill, just…look can we leave it until after rehearsals…I…we need to talk.”

“You’re worrying me, is everything ok at home, is Sophie ok?”

Isaac smiled, “Yeah she’s fantastic, but I prefer to talk after rehearsals. I promise I’ll concentrate.”

Adam was concerned for his friend. This wasn’t like Isaac at all. He wondered if there _was_ something wrong between his friend and wife and Isaac was putting a brave face on things for everyone. “Ok, we’ll talk later. Are you sure you’re ok to continue?”

“Yes Adam, I’ll be fine. Now where were we?” He smiled hoping that he showed more confidence than he was feeling. He knew Adam wouldn’t leave things as they were, Isaac just had to be careful in how much he told his friend.

Apart from a couple of hiccups with amps, the rehearsal went ok. Ritchie was good but he wasn’t Tommy and Adam had to remind him a couple of times about where he needed him to stand when they were doing certain songs. Adam tried not to show his frustration, but everyone knew Tommy would have instinctively moved, that’s how well he knew the singer.

“Ok guys, let’s call it a day. Thank you for all your hard work and let’s have tomorrow off. I suggest we do one final run through of the order of songs on Friday that’ll then give us all the weekend off before we start the crazy train of LA concerts.”

“Adam, can I just say thank you.”

“What for?”

“For giving me this chance to play for you. I know I’m not TJ but I hope I’m doing everything right for you.”

“Ritchie, it’s me who should be thanking you. I would have had to have had a guitarist the label sent me, which believe me would have been a total disaster. You are a friend of Tommy Joe’s and a great guitarist. I’m just thankful that you agreed to play for us.”

“TJ is a good friend and I can see how much you miss him. Whatever his reason for going must be something important and I’m sure, in his mind, it was the right thing to do at the time.”

“Thanks. I’m sure that’s what he was thinking, I just wish he’d have spoken to me first before leaving. Maybe we could have sorted out whatever made him go.”

“I’m sure Tommy is missing you too.”

“Then why doesn’t he come home?” Adam could feel tears building.

“I’m sure he wants to, but he’s a stubborn bugger, maybe he thinks what he’s doing is the right thing for everyone. Give him some time, I’m sure he’ll realise that he’ll be better off back with the people who love him.”

“Thanks Ritchie. I hope so. But…in the meantime we have shows to do, so thank you for stepping in and we’ll see you Friday.”

Ritchie squeezed Adam’s shoulder. “Yeah, see you Friday.” He left, leaving Adam, Neil and Isaac to talk.

Adam sat on the sofa, head in his hands. Neil watched as his brother quietly sobbed. He wished he could do more for him, he hated seeing his best friend and brother in so much pain.

Isaac wanted to tell Adam everything that had happened that morning but he knew his friend would demand to know where the blond was, and as he couldn’t really say, he had to be careful in how much he was going to tell him.

“Shall we go for a drink?”

“M’sorry Isaac, I don’t feel like being sociable.”

“I wasn’t thinking of going to a bar or anything like that, I was maybe thinking of you both coming to mine, I’m sure Sophie wouldn’t mind.”

“Thanks Isaac, but would you mind if I went home, I need to sleep.”

“Sure, but I do have something to tell you. You know the reason for my epic cock-ups this afternoon.”

“Isaac, no-one is perfect and we’re all worried about Tommy. I’m sorry if I came across a bit…”

“Adam, it’s ok, but you really should listen to what I have to say.”

Adam looked from his friend to his brother. “Neil do you know what’s going on?”

“Sorry, I’m in the dark as much as you.”

“Ok Isaac you have my attention, what’s going on?”

Isaac took a deep breath. “I saw Tommy at the music store this morning.”

Adam was off the sofa and standing inches from Isaac quicker than the drummer could finish the sentence.

“Then why in the fuck didn’t you say anything before now? Have you spoken to him before today? Do you know where he’s hiding? Why the fuck didn’t you get him to come back? You say you’re his friend…why didn’t you bring him here?” He was angry. Standing in front of him was someone who he called a friend, but this friend had clearly betrayed him by not saying he knew where his Tommy was.

“Hold on a minute. I said I saw him, I didn’t say I’d spoken to him.”

“Then what the hell happened?”

“Adam, calm down let…”

“Neil, fuck off. I want to know what’s going on.”

“There’s no need to get upset or angry with any of us. We’re still as much in the dark as you are.”

“Well it appears not. Mr Carpenter here has seen my boyfriend maybe even had a lengthy conversation with him but fails to inform me. Me who is going out of my mind with worry.”

“I understand how you feel.”

“Do you Neil? Do you know how it feels when the person you love, who in turn says they love you, disappears without any explanation?” Neil was silent. “No I didn’t think so. So please just shut up and Isaac, tell me everything then you can take me to him.”

“Oh Adam, I wish I could take you to where he’s staying, but I don’t know where that is.”

“I need a drink.” Adam rubbed his eyes making them even more red.

“Why don’t we go home, you can have a drink there.” Neil went to touch his brothers’ arm but withdrew his hand, letting it fall by his side. He wanted to comfort him so much but he knew it wasn’t what Adam really needed right now.

“I think Neil has a good idea. Come on, let’s get you home and I’ll tell you about this morning.”

Reluctantly Adam nodded. He could wait a few more minutes if it meant knowing where Tommy was.

They were silent on the drive to Adam’s no-one really knowing what to say. When they arrived the first thing Adam did was pour himself a very large Tequila. Taking his glass and the bottle, he went to sit in the lounge.

As Isaac went to sit by his friend, Neil motioned he was going to the kitchen.

“No Neil, you should hear this too.” Isaac needed Neil as support just in case Adam went to try something stupid.

“Right, I have a drink, so spill. Tell me everything and please don’t even think about leaving anything out.”

“Ok.” Isaac looked from Adam to Neil then back to Adam. “I’d just bought my sticks, was heading out of the shop when I bumped into someone. We both apologised then I realised it was TJ. He was about to run but I grabbed his arm and stopped him. He looked scared, I asked him where he’d been staying. He told me with friends. I asked if he was coming home and he told me we weren’t safe with him here so he couldn’t do that. I asked him what he meant but he said sorry and ran off.” Isaac hoped that had sounded convincing.

“Who are these friends, did he say? We tried ringing all his friends when he left, so who are they?”

“I’m sorry Adam, I don’t know. That’s all he told me, I didn’t want to run after him, like I said he looked really scared.”

“You should have rung me, I could have been down to the mall in a matter of minutes. We could have looked for him.”

“Oh Adam, by the time you’d have gotten to the mall he’d have disappeared. At least we know he’s still in LA.”

“That’ doesn’t help me. I need him to come home. It hurts not having him here. I don’t care what he’s done or what he thinks he’s done or going to do, I just want him with me.”

“I know you do. I did tell him you missed him and wanted him with you but all he said was sorry but it was safer for you if he wasn’t with you.”

“W…when Sutan saw him he said something similar. I wonder if he’s still with that couple who Sutan spoke to?”

“I don’t know Adam, I’m sorry I didn’t find out any more from him. I wish there was something I could do.”

Adam downed his drink in one go, feeling it burn as it coursed through him.

“I need to make another appeal. Neil, set it up for me, I want him to know that whatever he thinks is happening is not going to affect how I feel about him.”

“Adam, how am I…”

“Please Neil, if you can’t get TV then please get a radio station to do it. I don’t mind or care which one it is I just need him to know I love him.” He broke down, tears running down his face. Isaac pulled his friend into a hug, just letting him cry.

Neil left them, going to make phone calls. He knew his brother wouldn’t rest until a press conference had been organised…again.

 

Tbc


	7. Chapter 7

Tommy was quiet on the way back to Oli’s. Seeing Isaac had been a shock, but actually telling his friend he was were had felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. There were still things weighing him down, but he knew he’d have to live with that, as he couldn’t tell his gorgeous man what he was. He’d been surprised when he’d told Isaac, he was certain his friend would have run, afraid of what Tommy might do to him. But he’d thought it was _cool_ only Isaac would use that word. He smiled at the thought of his friend becoming a father. He’d be a great dad and look after Sophie and little Carpenter so well. He even thought about what Isaac had said about the dancers and everyone being Tommy’s _pack_ and as a were he could look after them. A slight smile turned the corners of his mouth up, which didn’t go unnoticed by Oli.

“Whatever you’re thinking, it must be something good, you’re smiling.”

“Oh…I…erm, Isaac told me he’s going to become a father. I’m so happy for him and Sophie.”

“That’s fantastic news…Uncle Tommy.”

“But…I…no…I can’t…”

“I know what you’re going to say, but why not? Why can’t you be Uncle Tommy?”

“I…well I could hurt him or her.”

“No, you won’t. Were’s are pack animals and even though they’re not were you’ll still regard them as your pack.”

“But…”

“No, it’s instinct. You’ll look after anyone that is close to you, anyone you love.” He hoped that would make the blond realise he wouldn’t hurt Adam.

“But none of them are were.”

“It wouldn’t matter, you love them and that’s what counts. Look at me, I’m human and Ciara looks out for me.”

“That’s different. You’re going to be married.”

“I don’t see any difference. Besides you could marry Adam, he’d then be your Beta and you’d both look after the _pack_. And don’t tell me he’s not were. That wouldn’t matter, if you marked him other were’s would smell your scent on him and wouldn’t dare to touch him.”

“Oh! There’s a lot I still have to learn.” He looked at him, a slight smile breezing across his face before the worried look returned.

“That’s why you should stay with us longer. Ciara can help you. Please Tommy, at least stay until Adam’s finished his LA concerts.” Oli had an idea, he’d message Isaac later and suggest it to him.

“I don’t know.”

“Think about it at least.”

“K.” He went back to staring out the car window.

When they arrived home Tommy excused himself, said he was tired and disappeared into his room.

“Is he ok? Did something happen?”

“He’ll be fine. I’ve given him something to think about. We saw a friend of Tommy’s and, well let’s just say he wants to help get him home where he belongs.”

“Oh, what happened?”

Oli recalled the part of the conversation he’d heard between Tommy and Isaac then told her about his conversation with Isaac. He also told her about the idea’s he’d planted in Tommy’s mind about being the _Alpha_ of the musicians and dancers, which led him onto the idea he’d had that would need Isaac’s help.

Ciara smiled, folding Oliver into a hug. “That’s why I love you Oli, you’re always thinking how to help other people. You’re going to be an amazing Beta to me when,,,well when the time is right.”

“I love you Ciara.”

“And I love you.”

They finished putting away the groceries before sitting down to formulate how to put Oli’s plan into action.

Tommy wasn’t tired even though he’d made the excuse to his friends he was. No, he wanted to think. Think about what Isaac and Oli had said about him becoming the Alpha of their band. Would Adam want that? Would _he_ want it? So much to think about. Was he making the right choice in staying in LA? He sighed, picked up his guitar and fixed the new string to it. He needed to be doing something to take his mind off Adam.

He must have fallen asleep as a knocking on his door woke him.

“M’sorry, come in.”

“Hi Tommy, sorry did I disturb you?” Stacey had a worried look on her face.

“It’s ok, I must have fallen asleep. What can I do for you?”

“Ciara sent me to let you know dinner is ready.”

“Oh, ok. I’ll be down in a minute.” He was grateful for everything that everyone had done for him, but he really should have left before now. He didn’t want to be a burden to them. He’d speak to them after dinner and explain he wanted to pay his way.

Everyone was shocked when Stacey and Miriam offered to clear the table _and_ do the dishes.

“What do you both want?”

“Nothing, we just want to help.”

“Well I for one am not going to argue.” Ciara laughed as she, Oli and Tommy left the girls to it.

“Thank you both, you’ve been amazing letting me stay.”

“Our pleasure, but that sounds suspiciously like you’re going to tell us you’re leaving.”

“I did think about it, but something Isaac and Oli said had me thinking I should stay a bit longer, if…well if it’s ok with you.”

“You can stay as long as you want. I’ve said that from the beginning.”

“Well in that case, yes please I’d like to stay, on one condition.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you let me do my fair share of chores, and I mean everything like looking after the little ones as well.”

“Wow, erm, ok if you’re sure?”

“Yes, I am. I love kids so it won’t be a problem.”

“Thank you Tommy. Not just for offering to look after the little ones but wanting to stay a while longer. We would ask only one more thing of you.” She winked at Oliver.

“Oh, what…what’s that?”

“You play your guitar some more for us.”

Tommy laughed. “That would be my pleasure.”

“Great.”

“Could I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Oli, would you mind if I borrowed your wonderful girlfriend? And Ciara, would your wolf like to go for a run with mine?”

“You can borrow her anytime. I’m just happy to see your being more comfortable with your wolf.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course I’ll go for a run with you. That’s what we love to do. Is there any place special you’d like to go?”

Tommy blushed. “Yeah there is, but I’d rather not go alone.”

“Sounds intriguing.”

“Please don’t think I’m being stupid.”

“Hey, we’d never think that.”

Tommy smiled and blushed.

“So come on, where is it you want to run to?”

“Um…well…I…there’s a wooded area I’d like to go to, it’s…well it’s at the back of Adam’s home. I, phew this is difficult, I want to see how he is.”

“Of course we can go, you don’t have to explain it to us.”

“Thank you. I don’t know if we’ll see him, I just, I just want to be near him.” He blushed an even deeper red.

“Not a problem. Look I’ve got a couple of things to do first then we can go. Shall we say 30 minutes? That way it’ll be dark and we can use that as cover.”

“Great. I’ll go sit outside and wait. And thank you.” He got up and left.

“Wow, that was not what I was expecting.”

“No me neither.”

“What did you and this Isaac guy say to him?”

“All we said was he could be the group’s Alpha. Do you think that’s what started this? Do you think he’s realising he could go home.”

“Too early to say, but at least he wants to see Adam if he can, or at least be close to him and that’s a start.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Thank you Oli, you’re amazing.”

“I try my best.” He kissed her. “Whilst you’re both out it’ll give me an opportunity to speak to Isaac, let him know my idea.”

“Good plan. Best of luck.”

“Come on Tommy let’s go, we could get some more practice in controlling your wolf, and it’ll give us a chance to talk if you have any questions.”

“I do have a couple.”

“K, race ya!” She shifted and bounded off leaving Tommy open mouthed watching.

“I wouldn’t leave it too long Tommy, she can be like lightning.” Oliver laughed as the golden wolf appeared bounding off after the grey one.

^V^

Tommy slowed, he knew he wasn’t far from Adam’s, but did he really want to continue? What if Adam saw them, he’d freak…wouldn’t he? Tommy remembered the night in Albany when they’d just managed to escape the venue before the audience got to them. Would Adam run or would he stay and watch?

Tommy sat, shaking his head. He sensed Ciara had shifted back to her human form. He did the same. They were hidden so hopefully they could talk without being overheard.

“What is it Tommy?”

“I’m not sure this was a good idea.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “We were in Albany and had to be escorted to our tour bus. The audience were mainly were’s and were out to get a piece of Adam or any of us that lingered. What if Adam sees us and remembers and freaks out?”

“Then we make sure he doesn’t see us. You said there were trees at the rear of his house.” Tommy nodded. “Then we don’t get any closer than the trees. That way he won’t see us…ok?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Tommy, we’ve come this far. Let’s finish what you wanted to do. At least let’s go look. If you don’t want to stay then we go straight home.”

“I. I’m sorry, I’m being a complete crazy aren’t I?”

“No, and don’t start thinking that way. You have a lot to think about and it’s going to take time for you and all your family and friends to come to terms with.”

“That’s why I can’t go back. I can’t put them through it.”

“You may be surprised at their reactions. They may be completely fine with everything.”

“That’s what’s keeping me away, that and what I could do to them when I’m, well…a wolf.”

“I told you before, you wouldn’t hurt the people you love. It’s part of who we are. We protect our loved ones. It’s when someone tries to hurt them, that instinct takes over and we only defend them and confront those who hurt our family. Did…does that make sense?”

“Um, I think so.”

“Let me try a different approach. If someone was hurting Adam you’d go up against that person wouldn’t you? I’m talking as if you’re in human form.”

“I suppose I would, although I’m not much of a fighter. I think I’d give them a run for their money though.”

“Well, imagine being in wolf form and someone goes up against Adam, you’d defend him in the same way. Wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, I would.”

“See you wouldn’t hurt Adam, because you love him.”

“But what if Adam and I argued and I shifted, wouldn’t I hurt him then?”

“No, your wolf knows you love him and it may growl but it wouldn’t physically hurt him. I believe you’d take yourself away from the situation and calm down. But you’d never hurt him.”

“Even more to think about.”

“It is but you wouldn’t have to go through it alone. We have your back. We class you as part of our family now. You’d always be welcome at our home no matter what you eventually decided to do.”

“That means a great deal to me, thank you.”

“Now, do you want to continue or would you rather we go home?”

“Would you mind if we continued?”

“Not at all, come on let’s go see Adam.”

They shifted and headed deeper into the woods.

Adam had wished he’d asked Sutan to come back with him again. He hated being alone, it gave him too much time to think about Tommy and where he could have gone. He stared at the lock screen photo of them both. “Where are you Tommy Joe? No matter what you think you’ve done, come home and we can sort it out.” He downed his umpteenth drink in one go feeling the burn travel through him. Even Tequila wasn’t taking away the hurt he was feeling.

Pouring yet another he went to sit on the decking. It was a clear night and he didn’t want to be cooped up inside, he needed some freedom. Sitting on the side of the pool he thought about calling Sutan. He’d said he’d come over if he needed him. But that wouldn’t solve the long term problem of living without Tommy.

As he put his phone away he thought he heard something moving in the trees. He listened, was there someone out there?

“Who’s there?” Had a fan found out where his home was? Was he being watched. _Don’t be stupid Lambert no one can get up the hillside, it’s way too steep._ Maybe it was an animal. Maybe the Tequila was having an effect on him. _You should slow down with the drink, you’ve got a concert to play in a couple of days._ Shaking his head, he listened again. Nothing! He’d probably been imagining things.

Tommy and Ciara found themselves staring at a beautiful man and had to stop as they were closer than they should really have been. Tommy could see his boyfriend was hurting, it looked like he hadn’t slept for days. What had Isaac said, Adam wasn’t eating or sleeping, he was frantic with worry about Tommy. Now the blond could see what he meant. He moved closer then froze. Adam had heard him and was asking who was there. He couldn’t let him see them. He had to be careful. This had been a stupid idea. He looked at Ciara then ran, she followed him back to their house.

Tommy was breathing hard as he shifted back, pacing up and down the garden talking, swearing to himself.

Ciara has shifted but remained on the decking letting Tommy calm down. She knew if she approached him his wolf would take over and they’d end up fighting. She knew enough to know his wolf now had an instinct to look after the blond.

Oliver had heard the commotion and come out to investigate.

“Hey beautiful, is everything ok?”

“It will be, we just need to give Tommy some time.”

“What happened?”

“Adam was by his pool and Tommy got close, closer than I think he really want to and…well Adam heard us and shouted asking if there was anyone there. Tommy froze then bounded off and when I got back he was pacing. I’m not going to stop him, he just needs to calm down then we can talk.”

“Baby I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned.”

“No, but I think it’s what Tommy needed to see. Adam is a mess. Even I could see that, it doesn’t look like he’s slept for weeks. And I’m sure from the video’s I’ve seen of his concerts and seeing him tonight, well he’s lost weight.

“When I saw Isaac…” his voice dropped to a whisper, he knew a were’s hearing was exceptional. “Well anyway, he said Adam isn’t eating properly, so you may be right.”

“Oh Oli we’re going to have to do something, we can’t let this go on, it’s killing both of them.”

“Well I’ve spoken to Isaac and we’ve come up with a plan. Look I don’t want Tommy to hear, let’s go inside. I’ll put coffee on I’m sure when he calms down he’s gonna want caffeine. That way I can tell you without the possibility of him hearing.” They took one last look at the pacing man then went inside.

_Ratliff that was a fucking stupid idea, what made you think you could just see him and feel nothing? Why the hell did you get so close?_ He knew the answer to both questions. It was because he loved him and wanted so much to be with him. He kicked a ball that one of the kids had left in the garden, it hit a tree then ricochet into the pool. He laughed, he couldn’t have done that purposely, he was a lousy athlete.

He sat on the grass, he didn’t care if his arse got wet he needed something to ground him and dew damp grass certainly did that. He didn’t know how long he sat staring at the sky but he was brought back to reality by the rich aroma of coffee, and boy did he crave caffeine.

Ciara and Oli were hugging as he walked into the kitchen. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just…”

“Hey Tommy, come in. Want a coffee?”

“Um yes please, but I don’t…”

“You weren’t disturbing us if that’s what you were going to say. Ciara always loves a hug after she’s been running. Come on, sit, and I’ll get us all a coffee.”

Tommy smiled, he wondered if Adam would ever do that for him…if he decided to go back. He missed Adam’s hugs.

“Penny for them?” Oli handed him a steaming mug.

“Oh just thinking.”

“Ouch, don’t hurt yourself!” Oli laughed.

“Gee thanks! No I was just thinking about the amazing hugs Adam gives. He makes you feel calm and loved and…fuck!”

“Hey, it’s ok you can talk about him as much as you want. We’re not going to stop you.” Ciara squeezed his arm.

“You must be fed up with me talking about him?”

“Never, it just goes to show how much you miss and love him.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Ok I suppose. I’m sorry about deserting you and then ignoring you when we got home. I hadn’t meant to get so close but…”

“It’s ok, I could see how much you want to just go to him. And that’s good.” Tommy went to say something. “No, just listen first before you say anything.” He nodded. “good. You wanted to go to him because you could see how much he was hurting. Your wolf wanted to protect him, stop the pain and that’s good. Remember what I said about not hurting the ones you love?” he nodded. “well that instinct was present tonight. Your wolf just wanted to protect Adam, to make the hurt go away.”

“What if I reveal myself to him, to everyone and they reject me for who I am now? I…well I couldn’t take that rejection again. I want people to love me for _me_ not try and make me something I’m not. Not again.”

Ciara and Oli looked at one another. “What do you mean? We don’t understand.”

Tommy sighed. “Is there anything stronger than coffee? M’gonna need it for what I’m going to tell you and you may need it too.”

“Erm, yeah…ok I’ll go get the Jack. Has something happened recently with Adam that you’re not telling us about?”

He smiled at Adam’s name. “No, not Adam. It was someone else who thought she could…well I’ll let you decide once I’ve told you.”

“Why don’t we go sit in the lounge. It’s still early for anyone to be awake, that way we can be comfortable.”

“I’m sorry, I’m keeping you both from sleep.”

“Sleep is the least of our worries, we’ll be ok. It’s your needs that are priority here. And besides wolves don’t need that much sleep anyway.” Ciara smiled as she led them through the house. Oli handed them each a glass of golden liquid before they sat to listen to what their friend was so worried about.

Tommy took a mouthful of the drink, feeling the burn as it went down. Then taking a deep breath he told them all about Liz. How when they’d first met everything was great, how she initially loved that he was playing for Adam and how she could boast to her friends that she had a Rockstar boyfriend. They’d met after one of their concerts. She was in a club they’d all gone to for the after party. He went on to say how everything changed when they’d gotten home from touring the UK. She’d argued with him saying he didn’t truly love her and that he’d had other girls whilst he’d been in other countries. He’d tried to convince her that he hadn’t, but she wouldn’t believe him. He said that they’d had some time off whilst Adam wrote his songs for the new album and whilst they were on down time, he’d moved in with her, which he admitted was the worst thing he’d ever done. He cried when he explained that over the course of 3 months, he hadn’t realised but she was running his life. He’d thought in the beginning that it was what all new couples did but then he realised he was seeing less and less of his friends and not seeing Adam at all.

He said he knew things weren’t right when Adam had turned up at their home demanding to speak to Tommy and wanting to know why he hadn’t been returning any of his messages.

Tommy said that he hadn’t known about any of Adam’s messages. He explained to Ciara and Oli that Liz had found out his password for his phone and had managed to delete all the messages, not just from Adam but Isaac as well.

“Oh Tommy that was a horrible thing to have to go through. What did you do?”

“I apologised to Adam, told him I’d meet up with him and we could have a proper catch up.”

“What did Liz do?”

“That’s where it gets even more crazy.”

He told them how he’d met Adam for coffee and as they were in the restaurant, he realised that Liz was sitting in her car watching them. When he’d gotten home, he’d confronted her about why and she’d told him that she’d seen them as she’d gone to the do her shopping. He asked if she’d trusted him and she’d said no.

“We argued about what each of us wanted from a relationship and realised we wanted different things. She actually told me she wanted me to stay at home, to stop playing for Adam and just be with her. I asked her what I should tell my friends to which she said that I’d make new friends and all of her _close_ friends were mine too. Anyway, we argued constantly after that. Some of the arguments ended being physical. I actually had to go to the ED on one occasion as she’d thrown a plate at me and it smashed against the breakfast bar, the shards of the plate continuing a trajectory to my arm and slicing it open. I ended up with half a dozen stitches.”

“Oh Tommy no wonder you feel how you do about what someone is going to think about your wolf. But not everyone is like this Liz person.”

“It didn’t end there Ciara. When I went back, I was determined to pack my stuff and leave. But she had other ideas. She claimed she was sorry, said she would let me see Adam and the others. But I wasn’t to play for Adam anymore. I was her boyfriend and she didn’t want me leaving her again. I told her that wasn’t going to happen and I was going to play on Adam’s next tour. She gave me an ultimatum. Stay with her and have the life she’d always wanted…a loving husband who would do everything for her. A family, she always wanted kids, or if I wanted to play for Adam then I’d have to leave our home, leave all my stuff there and go find somewhere else to live. She told me that by leaving everything I’d realise I was better with her. She loved me! Naturally I left, just had the clothes I stood up in. I did take my phone and I went to stay with Isaac and Sophie. Liz bombarded me with messages of how sorry she was and how much she loved me. But I just ignored her. I even blocked her.”

“Wow, so…”

“What happened to her? Sorry you don’t have to explain anything, not if…”

“No, you have a right to know.”

“Only if…”

“I need to.” He smiled at them both. “The last I heard was, she’d met someone new, he’s a wealthy businessman and she’d moved in with him. They’d bought a big house just outside of LA and she’d got him to buy her a couple of horses. She’d wanted me to do that but I hate the things. They’re bigger than me!” He smiled.

“Have you heard from her since?”

“No, thank goodness I haven’t.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, now you know why I’m afraid people won’t like me for who I’ve become.”

“Oh Tommy, not everyone is like Liz, she’s an exception to the rule.”

“I just don’t want anyone trying to make me be someone or something I’m not.”

“No-one is going to do that, especially Adam. From what I’ve seen he just wants his Tommy back.”

“And there’s the BIG problem. I’m not just Tommy Joe Ratliff anymore. I’ve got that hidden extra that people are scared of.”

“If you explain right from the start I’m sure Adam will be fine with it. Think about what your friend Isaac said. Didn’t he think it was _cool_ and you could be the Alpha of your pack.”

Tommy laughed. “That’s just Isaac being Isaac. He thinks a lot of things are cool.”

“Tell Adam, he’ll probably think the same. You know he loves you. And Tommy you are still very much in love with him.”

“How do you work that out Ciara?”

“From seeing you watching him earlier and how you shot off only to get everything out of your system by pacing, talking to yourself and taking it out on that ball you kicked.” She laughed. “If you didn’t care you would have just come home and gone to bed.” She hugged him.

“How…the ball…but you were…”

“We see more than we let on. Oh by the way how was the ball?”

Tommy laughed, “having a swim to cool down.” They all laughed.

“Well someone’s having fun!” Stacey had woken, heard laughter and gone to investigate.

“Sorry Stacey if we woke you.”

“Nah, s’ok I wanted to be up early.”

“Oh and what’s brought that on?”

“I…um…it’s…”

“Come on Stace we’re all friends here you can say and tell us anything.”

She looked at Tommy then to Ciara. “I’m sorry Tommy but Miriam and I are going to queue to see if we can get a ticket for Adam’s concert on Monday. They’ve just released more tickets.” She hung her head, picking at her nail varnish.

“Stacey! What have we…”

“No Ciara, it’s ok. I’m ok. If Stacey and Miriam want to see Adam then don’t be mad at them let them go. I really am ok with it.”

“If you’re sure.” Oli glared at the teenager before turning to the blond.

“Yeah, I’m sure. On one condition though.”

“Anything Tommy.” Stacey was on the verge of crying.

“Whatever you do, please don’t mention me to anyone, don’t for goodness sake tell them that you know me.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“She’ll have serious consequences to deal with if she does.” Explained Ciara.

“Then go and enjoy yourself. You’ll have an amazing time.”

“Thank you Tommy.” She rushed over and hugged him.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Tommy felt drained. “I’m going to see if I can sleep for a while. The effects of everything has caught up with me.”

“Not a problem, we’ll see you when you’re ready to face the world again.”

“Thanks.” He disappeared.

^V^

Adam was woken by his phone ringing. He wasn’t late for rehearsals, he’d given everyone the weekend off in preparation for their concert Monday night. He didn’t recognise the number but thinking it may be Tommy he answered.

“Adam Lambert”

“Hello Adam this is Liam Griffiths calling from KCBS-TV your brother gave me your number, said you wanted to make another appeal to Mr Ratliff.”

Adam slowly sat up, it appeared he’d fallen asleep on the sofa and now his body was protesting. “Erm, good morning Mr Griffiths. Thank you for calling and yes I would like to make another appeal.”

“I hope you don’t mind me calling so early.”

“Not at all.” Adam stretched his limbs one by one, trying to get some feeling back into them.

“Great, could you come down to the studio in say an hour and we can sort something out for you.”

“Um sure, but could we make it in about 90 minutes as I need to freshen up.”

“Sure, Mr Lambert. When you arrive at the studio just ask for me and we’ll get everything recorded for you.”

“Thank you.”

“We just want to help you get Mr Ratliff home. See you soon.” He hung up leaving Adam staring at his phone.

Ninety minutes later Adam was sitting in the lobby of KCBS-TV waiting for Liam Griffiths.

“Mr Lambert.” A tall dark haired man of around 30 made Adam jump. “Oh I do apologise.”

“Sorry, not your fault. I tend to just over think stuff and was thinking what I’m going to say.”

“Well let’s get you into the studio and we can start. I’m Liam Griffiths by the way.”

“Hi and thank you so much for doing this.”

“If we can help get Mr Ratliff…”

“Tommy Joe.”

“Sorry, Tommy Joe home, then it’s our pleasure.” Adam followed him into a studio. “We can do this one of two ways Mr Lambert.”

“Please, it’s Adam.”

“Ok Adam, we can do a question and answer interview or I could just introduce you and let you make your appeal.”

“The…the latter would be good.”

“Great. I’ll get everything set up. We’ll record it then after every news bulletin we put out over the weekend we’ll play your segment. How does that sound?”

“That’s more than I could ask for thank you.”

“I’ll let you into a secret, I’ve been to your concerts, followed you right from the beginning and always loved the chemistry you and Tommy have on stage. I secretly hoped that one day you’d be a couple. And if I can go someway into you finding Tommy again that will make me a very happy man. My husband loves you both too. We actually met at one of your concerts.” He blushed.

“Well that’s amazing. I love to hear stories like that. How long have to been married?”

“Three months.”

“Well congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“I…I was hoping that Tommy and I could…but…”

“Hey, it’s not over yet. Come on let’s go record your plea.”

Liam made sure Adam’s mic was checked for levels before getting his own mic and nodding to the cameramen that they were ready.

Once the cameras were recording Liam began. “Good morning, I have with me today Adam Lambert, I’m not going to explain why he’s here, I’m going to let him do that.” He smiled at Adam.

“Morning Liam and thank you for allowing me this opportunity. I…you all know my guitarist Tommy Joe Ratliff and you probably saw my previous plea for him to come home. Well…Tommy if you’re watching this please baby, I miss you I want you to come home. Whatever has happened we’ll talk about it. I just want you back I’m not whole without you. If…well if you can’t come home yet just ring me, let me know you’re ok. I just want to hear your voice. I’m lost without my best friend by my side. Please Glitterbaby let me know you’re ok even if you can’t come home just yet. I love you so much.” He had to bite his lip otherwise he’d have broken down. Tears were running down his face as he confessed his love.

“Thank you Adam. Tommy if you’re seeing this, I can honestly say Adam really does love you.”

The cameras were given the cue to stop recording as Adam couldn’t hold it any longer and broke down.

“I’m s’sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise, I’d be even worse if Marc went missing.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“My pleasure and let me know how things turn out.”

“I will do.” Adam shook his hand. “I hope you and your husband will be very happy together.”

“Thanks. And remember you will have the same with Tommy. I really do believe he’ll be home soon.”

Adam waited whilst they removed his mic before hugging Liam. “I hope so…I really do.” He left, but didn’t go home, instead he went to see Isaac to apologise for his behaviour the previous day.

^V^

Ciara knocked lightly on Tommy’s door.

“Come in.”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but Oli wanted to know if you wanted any supper?”

“Yes please. And you didn’t disturb me. I’ve not been to sleep properly, just cat napped. Damned insomnia, I thought that might have disappeared when…well you know.”

“Were’s don’t need as much sleep as humans, but that’s not really what you wanted to hear. I could get Andrew, he’s one of the doctors to prescribe something for you, if…”

“No…thank you all the same. I well let’s just say been there done that and got bad memories.”

“I’m sorry Tommy.”

“You weren’t to know. It was a rough time for me, and well…I’d…”

“Hey you don’t have to explain.”

Tommy could smell beef stew. “Mmm smells like supper’s nearly ready.” He smiled licking his lips.

Ciara laughed. “Yeah, and considering we’re on the opposite side of the house to the kitchen, your sense of smell is amazing.”

“Adam always said I could smell food a mile away.” He smiled at the memory then the smile faded.

“Hey, it’s ok to feel things for Adam, he’s a huge part of your life.”

“Was.”

“Oh Tommy you don’t know that for certain.”

“Yeah…I do.”

She went to sit on his bed. “Give it time. One day you may want to see him again to explain. In the mean-time you have a home here.” She pulled him into a hug.”

“Thank you, you have all been amazing and I’m sorry if at times I’ve not come across as being grateful.”

“We’ve all gone through it. So we know what you’re going through. Now, how about some supper?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

They headed down to laughter and chatter from everyone. The talk at the table being plans for a birthday party for one of the children. Tommy offered to play for them once the dishes had been done.

Most of the younger children had been put to bed leaving the parents and some of the teenagers listening to Tommy play. It was a calmer night with slow songs and some of Tommy’s own compositions thrown in, which everyone agreed were amazing.

People drifted off leaving Oliver, Ciara and Tommy watching an old John Wayne movie.

“What would you like to do tomorrow?”

“What…sorry…engrossed in the film.” Tommy hadn’t heard properly, he loved John Wayne.

“Oli has to go into town tomorrow, we asked what you’d like to do?”

“I think I may go for a run…if that’s ok with you?”

“Do you want company?”

“Would you mind if I went on my own?”

“Of course we don’t. It’s good that you feel you want to do that.”

“Thanks. I…well I’d just like to explore.”

“That’s fine you don’t have to explain.”

The film ended and Tommy was about to say something else about exploring, when the news came on. All three were transfixed when a photo of Adam appeared on the screen. Oli and Ciara watched Tommy as the news anchor led with the story…

“Good evening I’m Liam Griffiths and our first story tonight concerns Adam Lambert.”

Tommy’s hands went to fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands.

“Do you want me to turn it over?”

“N’no maybe something has happened to him. I want to know, but thank you for caring.”

“No problem.” Ciara looked at Oli as the reporter carried on with his story.

“Earlier this morning I sat down with Adam and…well I’ll let him explain everything.”

The screen changed and all the three of them saw was Adam looking tired, upset and asking, no pleading, for Tommy to go home.

Tommy pulled his legs up and hugged them, tears slowly silently running down his face. There was his beautiful man in pieces and it was his fault. He’d been so wrapped up in his own problems he’d not stopped to think what he was really doing to Adam. He’d thought leaving him would have been the best course of action, but now he could see what he was doing to him…and his family. It was when Adam called him Glitterbaby on screen, he broke into uncontrollable sobs. Ciara moved closer to him wrapping her arms around him.

“Ssh it’s ok, let it out, we’re here for you.” She clung on to him as they finished watching Adam’s plea.

The reporter appeared on the screen again. “That was earlier today. Tommy Joe Ratliff if you’re seeing this all Adam wants is for you to contact him. He just wants to know if you’re ok.”

Oli switched the TV off. “He really does love you.”

“And…(hic)…fuck…sorry…I love him.”

“Then ring him, tell him you’re ok. You don’t have to see him unless you want to. But just talk to him.”

“But he’ll want me to go home, he’ll want to know what’s going on.”

“Just tell him as much as you want, but ring him.”

Tommy nodded slowly. “Ok.” His friends went to leave. “No, stay, please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’d feel better if you were with me.”

“Ok, we’ll stay.”

Tommy reached for his phone. He had Adam’s number seared into his mind. Slowly with shaking hands he dialled. The phone rang once, twice, three times before a beautiful familiar voice answered.

“Hello, Adam Lambert speaking.”

Of course, Tommy realised Adam wouldn’t recognise the number.

“Hello…who’s there?” Adam sounded tired.

“Hey…Adam.”

“T…Tommy Joe, is…is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh baby, where are you, why don’t you come home?”

Tommy could hear the sobs in his man’s voice. “Adam, I can’t not right now. There’s, well there’s stuff that I need to sort.”

“We can sort it together.”

“Please Adam, I need some time. I just wanted you to know that I’m ok.”

“Why Tommy? Why did you leave?”

“Oh Adam, I wish I could tell you but please know I did it because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had to.”

“But when…”

“Don’t ask me that, I don’t know. Just know that I’m ok and safe. Bye Adam.”

“No Tommy wait, please, where are you?”

“I’m safe Babyboy. I have to go.” He hung up, then burst into fresh tears.

“Oh Tommy, come here.” Ciara was crying, she only heard Tommy’s side of the conversation, but she knew both men were hurting. She folded him into another hug. Looking over his shoulder at Oli she knew they had to put their plan into action sooner rather than later.

^V^

Adam stared at his phone. Why did he have to push Tommy to try to tell him where he was? That’s why the blond had rung off. He could kick himself for not just letting Tommy talk. If he had, maybe the blond wouldn’t have rung off so quickly. But a small part of him was thankful that his beautiful man had rung at all. He had to let people know. He rang Dia, his own mom, Sutan and Neil who all seemed relieved to know that their son, and friend was ok. When Adam tried to ring Isaac his line was busy.

^V^

Tommy felt even more drained now than he had been earlier. “I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to go see if I can sleep.”

“Not a problem, you know where we are if your need anything.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He hugged Ciara then headed to his bed.

Ciara and Oli watched a very unhappy man as he disappeared up the stairs.

“You have to ring Isaac, we have to move the plan forward. I don’t know how much longer he can go on like this. Being apart from Adam is slowly killing him. His wolf needs it’s mate and we have to make that happen.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Oli picked up his phone and dialled Isaac. It was answered on the second ring.

“Isaac it’s Oli.”

“Hi, have you just seen the news?”

“Yeah and so did Tommy.”

“Oh!”

“He’s not good.”

“I don’t suppose he is. Adam is going crazy not knowing.”

“Well after the plea, Tommy rang Adam.”

“Oh, and how did that go?”

“Not good. Tommy was in a mess when he came off the phone. Adam wanted to know when he was going home.”

“Ah and I bet TJ said he wasn’t.”

“Something like that.”

“I should ring Adam.”

“Yes but first we have to bring our plan forward.”

“I thought you wanted to get the first concert out of the way before we…”

“We could still do that. I was thinking rather than wait until just before the second one, we do it as you all leave the venue on Monday night.”

“How would you get TJ there?”

“Don’t worry, we have a couple of our teenagers going to the concert, I could get him to come with me to pick them up.”

“Ah good idea.”

“Then whilst we wait for the girls we could…”

“Yeah I see what you mean. Ok Monday it is. I’ll let you know when we’re coming out of the venue.”

“Great. And thank you for doing this.”

“Hey, if it gets my two stubborn friends back together then bring it on.”

“Thanks Isaac, see you Monday.”

“Oh one thing?”

“Sure.”

“How many will there be? I just don’t want to be too surprised.”

Oli laughed. “You’ll be fine, there’ll only be one and his name is Stephen and he’s a doctor.”

“Oh great, so I’m likely to need one of those then am I?”

“No, Tommy will step in before anything happens.”

“In that case, see you Monday.”

“Night, and thanks.”

“Anything for Adam and Tommy. Night.”

^V^

Adam spent the weekend at his mom’s house. He didn’t feel like being on his own, he couldn’t get the sadness of Tommy’s voice out of his head. What was so bad for the blond to disappear like that? Why couldn’t he have just spoken to Adam, let him share some of the pain that Tommy was going through? Adam knew it was something bad because normally his boyfriend would go quiet but then in his own time, he’d explain things. Was that crazy woman Liz back in his life? No if she had been then Tommy would have said so. Adam was the first person he’d told, Adam remembered holding him whilst he cried. It must be something that was making Tommy afraid. He just wished he knew what it was, then maybe he could help him.

“Adam honey, come and eat something.”

“What?...sorry mom I was just thinking.”

“I’ve made us some sandwiches.”

“I’m not hungry, but thanks for the thought.”

“Oh Adam, you really do need to eat something. When was the last time you had a meal?”

“Tuesday I think, but I’ve been so busy all the days are running into one. Ritchie…!

“Ritchie will be fine. Now come on let’s go sit outside, get some sun.”

“I’m not really up to it…I’m sorry mom.” He started crying again. “I just want Tommy Joe home. I miss him so much.”

Leila pulled her son into a hug. He was taller than she was but he was still one of her babies. “Sshh, it’ll be ok. I know you miss him, we all do. But you did get to speak to him, he did say he was ok, he’s not hurt and by all accounts he’s still in LA. Isaac and Sutan have both seen him so there’s still time for him to come home.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait. It’s hard continuing to work when he’s not here. I don’t know if I can continue with the tour.”

“But won’t you be in trouble with your label if you don’t?”

“Yeah, but I don’t feel as though I’m going to be able to give my full attention to it. I’m afraid the fans won’t understand. And besides I don’t care what Michael and the label think I’m human, not a robot. I can’t just forget everything that’s going on.”

“Oh sweetheart.” She clung on tighter wanting to take all the hurt away. “You have your first local concert tomorrow night…right?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, so do that one and see how the audience react to not having Tommy with you. See how _you_ feel performing for them. If…and this is a big if…you don’t feel as though you can carry on with the remainder of the West Coast shows then we postpone them. I’m behind you whatever you decide. And if Michael tries to cause trouble then we employ the best lawyers in LA to make sure he doesn’t force you in to continuing with the shows. If need be we can say you’re ill, your voice has gone and doctors have told you to rest.”

“But what will that achieve?”

“It’ll mean you having extra time to find Tommy. He’s contacted you once so maybe he’ll do it again, then instead of telling him to come home you could suggest meeting somewhere to talk things through. You don’t have to meet him alone, I’m sure Isaac would go with you and maybe suggest Tommy bring these new friends he’s mentioned. That way he won’t think you’re forcing him into anything.” She looked at her grief stricken son and smiled.

“When did you become so wise?” He smiled.

“Oh it comes with having 3 men in the house all competing for attention.”

“I love you mom.”

“I know you do and I love you too. That’s why it’s so difficult for me seeing you hurting so much.”

“Thank you for being there.”

“It’s what mom’s do.”

“I’ll do what you suggested. I just hope my fans understand.”

“Adam you’ve said yourself on many occasions that your Glamberts are fierce and have your back. I’m sure they’re behind you on this hiccup in your life too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they are. Thanks.”

“Now there is one thing you can do that will be a huge thank you to me.”

“Oh, what’s that?”

“Have something to eat. You’re going to need your strength for tomorrow night. We don’t want you collapsing on stage half way through the show.”

“Ok, I’ll have a sandwich.” He smiled but Leila saw the usual cheeky sparkle in his eyes was missing.

^V^

Tommy had been quiet for most of the weekend. He’d gone on his solo run but hadn’t stayed out long. He wanted to be on his own yet he didn’t. He’d found himself at the back of the Hollywood sign, the same place Ciara had found him only two weeks earlier. Was it really only two weeks? It felt like a lifetime. A lifetime without Adam. He stared down into the city, all the people still going about their business even though it was the middle of the night. He’d looked in the direction of Adam’s home, wondering what he was doing. He hadn’t run all the way back to his new home he wanted to be alone with his thoughts…or so he thought.

As he padded through the garden he heard Ciara and Oli talking.

“When are we going to make us official? I love you so much Ciara, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“I want you to be sure you know what you’re letting yourself in for. It’s not going to be easy for you.”

“I know it isn’t but I have you by my side and I’ve seen enough new were’s go through the first shift to know it’s a painful process.”

Tommy stopped, he didn’t want to intrude on them but he couldn’t help but listen and wish he had someone as understanding as Oliver.

Ciara sighed. “I have an idea.”

“Ok I’m listening.”

“It’s just under two weeks until the next full moon. If you still want this by then…well we’ll do it. But you have to be certain as there’s no going back. I can’t miraculously make you human again.”

“I know baby and I would love for us to make it official by then.”

“It’s not going to…”

“Easy? I know but I want to be with you…always. I want us to have children…if you want them that is?”

“Oliver you know I do.”

“Then that’s settled. By the next full moon we’ll arrange everything and I can become yours forever.”

“Oliver, have I ever told you how much I love you?” She pulled him in for a kiss.

“Mmm you have, but you can keep on telling me especially if you’re gonna kiss me like that each time.” He pulled her close.

Tommy was happy for them. He padded towards the house hoping they wouldn’t see him and think he’d been spying on them.

His thoughts of being quiet were dashed when he trod on one of the children’s toys and something sharp dug in his paw. He yelped which brought Ciara and Oli out to see what was going on. The golden wolf sat, licking his paw, whatever he’d trodden on hadn’t broken the skin, thank goodness.

“Hey Tommy we didn’t hear you, what’s happened?” She went to see why he was licking his paw.

Tommy shifted back. “M’sorry I hope you don’t think I was spying on you.”

“Tommy we’ve told you our house is yours and none of us have secrets. What have you done?”

He was embarrassed. “I…I got back and I’m sorry I heard you talking…Congrats by the way. Anyway I was trying to slip inside without disturbing you and I trod on one of the kids’ toys. Thought I’d cut my paw…hand…but seems it’s just a scratch.”

“Let me see.” She took his hand to check. “As for overhearing, we don’t mind we’re gonna tell everyone soon. I’m pleased you heard. Oh thanks for the congratulations too.”

“Why…why are you pleased I heard?” He was confused now.

“Well it shows you that were’s can have a perfectly healthy relationship, and I’m including sex in that, and if the human decides like Oli has, you can have an even better relationship, yes hotter sex, if you’re both were’s.” She winked at him and he blushed an even deeper red.

“I’m not going to…”

“Never say never Tommy, you don’t know who or what is around the corner.”

“Knowing my luck it’d be a huge truck!” He laughed.

“Your paw…sorry hand is fine. The scratch has healed itself, us were’s are quick like that. And as for your sense of humour, that’s fine too.” They all laughed.

“On that note I’m going to leave you both to talk some more. Goodnight and congratulations again.”

“Thanks Tommy.” They both watched as he headed up the stairs.

“We definitely have to put the plan into operation tomorrow.”

“I’ve spoken to Isaac and he’s all ready. Now all we have to do is to get a stubborn blond to the venue.”

 

Tbc


	8. Chapter 8

Adam slept better than he had for several days. It had been just what he needed. His mom’s love, understanding, her listening ear and of course her amazing cooking.

There was a knock on his door. “I’m awake.”

Leila popped her head around the door. “Sorry honey did I wake you?”

“No mom, I’ve been awake a few minutes.”

“Well I just wanted to let you know breakfast is nearly ready.”

“Great, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be down.”

“Ok.” She disappeared.

Adam showered in record time and was down just in time for the scrambled eggs to be put on his plate.

“What time are you due at the venue?”

“I told everyone to meet me there at noon. I want to do a sound-check and make sure Ritchie knows what he’s doing.”

“Stop fretting, Ritchie will be fine.”

“I…well Tommy knows my quirks, I just don’t want Ritchie to get in my way.”

“And he won’t, you’ll all be amazing as ever.”

“Thanks mom. It’s gonna be strange not having Tommy Joe with me.  It’ll be the first time in ten years.” He put down is fork. “Hell mom I really do miss him.”

“I know sweetheart. But I have a feeling he’ll be back soon.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t just want him back as my guitarist, I want him back as my boyfriend.”

“Give him some time and I’m sure both will happen.” She kissed the side of his head.

“Thank you.”

“What for honey?”

“Listening to me this last couple of days.”

“Told you that’s what mom’s are for.” She smiled, hoping that her son would get his wish.

When he arrived at the venue everyone was waiting for him.

“About time bossman, we were getting worried.”

“I did say noon Carpenter, and it is just noon.”

“Well we’ve been here rehearsing for the last hour.”

“Why didn’t you ring me?”

“We thought we’d get some extra practice in before you got here.”

“And…how did it go?”

“Good, think we’ve got everything nailed.”

“Great, you don’t need me then!” He started to walk off.

“Hey Lambert, I didn’t say we could sing, we definitely need you for that part.”

Adam laughed. “I know you can’t sing Isaac. I’ve heard you in the shower on the tour bus, remember? Made my ears hurt!” He ducked as a paper cup came hurtling his way. “Missed me!”

“Mmm arms are aching from rehearsals, I’ll get you next time.”

“Children please!” Ashley was giggling, she liked to see her friends having fun. “Are we going to do sound check or are we just going to hurl insults at one another all afternoon?”

“Sound check it is.” Adam nodded in the direction of the sound desk and they began.

It didn’t take them as long as they thought, so once everyone was happy they decided to go for something to eat.

They were in the restaurant when Isaac’s phone rang.

“Isaac Carpenter…oh hi…I’m great thanks just having something to eat with Adam and the band…no that’s fine…yeah sounds good…shall we see you at the stage door? I’m sure Adam wouldn’t mind…no hang on I’ll ask…Sorry Adam my cousin’s coming to the concert tonight wants to know if we can say a quick hello afterwards at the stage door. He’s going straight to Vegas later tonight he has some business there and…”

“Sure Isaac not a problem tell him I look forward to meeting him.”

Isaac knew he’d rambled but he had to have a good excuse for them to all be at the stage door when Oli’s plan was put into action.

“Hi…Adam says that’s not a problem…great I’ll see you later…yes we’ll be fine…ok bye.”

“Didn’t know your cousin was coming.”

“Nah, last minute plans, his work wants him to…but you don’t want to hear about that stuff. Let’s just say he’s like an excited schoolgirl wanting to meet Adam.”

“Yaaay, we’re changing the world one Glambert at a time.” Ashley giggled causing everyone else to join in the laughter.

It had been a pretty quite day, Oli had gone shopping whilst Tommy and Ciara had talked more about what it was like being were. Tommy had apologised more than once for all the questions he was asking to which Ciara had replied he wouldn’t know unless he’d asked.

He embarrassed himself when the conversation turned to sex. Ciara had smiled and told him not to worry it was only natural he wanted to know if it would be any different. She’d told him the only difference would be if he marked his partner. They both had to agree and if it happened then they would be partners for life. No were would go near his partner as he would have Tommy’s mark and scent on them. Were’s knew that a marked human was out of bounds to any other were.

Tommy had apologised if he’d embarrassed her but all she’d said was to ask whatever he’d wanted to know. Deep down Ciara hoped that because he was asking so much he was thinking of going back to Adam.

When Oli arrived home he found Tommy trying to teach Ciara how to play the guitar.

“And here’s me thinking you were both going to have a serious talk about being a were?”

“Oh we’ve done that, Tommy now knows how good sex can be with a human.” Ciara giggled.

“Gee thanks, now your boyfriend will think that sex is all I think about!” but he laughed

“Oh believe me Tommy your partner is gonna be asking for more!” He winked at him. Now was Oli’s chance to broach the subject of picking the girls up after the concert. He stopped laughing and looked at Ciara.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, but whilst I was out I had a phone call from Miriam’s mother.”

“Oh, is everything ok?”

“Yes and no.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No Tommy, maybe you could help.”

“I don’t know about that, but ok.”

“Go on sweetheart, what happened?”

“Ok, yeah. Anyway, Miriam’s mom is ok with her going to the concert, even ok with the girls going to the stage door, what she isn’t ok with is the pair of them waiting around at the stage door with no adult present. She thought one or both of us was going with them. I…erm…well I told her that I’d get the girls to message me when the concert is finished, and I’d take a couple of guys with me to make sure they’re ok.”

“I don’t see any problem with that.” She looked from Oli to Tommy. “is there likely to be any trouble Tommy?”

“Not really, just a bunch of excited Glamberts.” He smiled at the thought. “For as long as we’ve been touring the only time we had trouble was in Albany when the whole crowd were after Adam’s blood.” He laughed at the thought of them running to the bus.

Now was the chance for Oli to initiate his plan. “Hey, I have an idea, why don’t you come with us Tommy, you know how things work at the stage door, you could point out potential trouble.”

“What? No…I…I can’t.”

“Please Tommy, you’d be a great help.”

“I…” Tommy sighed maybe he could catch a glimpse of Adam. “Ok…but I’m staying in the car.”

“Not a problem. Thank you. I’ll ask Andrew to come too, he’s a doctor.”

“I thought that was Stephen?”

“They both are.”

“Oh, ok. Now just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“We should get there _before_ the concert ends. Adam has a tendency to rush off stage change quickly and head out. He’s got the changing from stage to normal clothes down to fine art. What time does the concert begin?”

“Erm, 8pm I think.”

“K, then to be safe we should be at the stage door for about 9.45pm. That way we’ll definitely be in time.”

“Great, thanks.”

“Now if you don’t mind I’m going for a walk. I need some fresh air.”

“Not a problem Tommy, thank you.”

He waved at them as he went out the door.

“Phew, for a moment there I wasn’t sure he’d agree.”

“No neither did I. Have you spoken to Isaac?”

“Yeah I have and he’s going to make sure they _linger_ at the stage door until our plan has been executed.”

“Good job then that Miriam’s mother is on business in Pheonix.” She hugged him. “I hope everything goes to plan.”

“Mmm, I’ve told Isaac what to expect, I’ve asked Stephen and Andrew to do their bit. Everyone is on board. Now to wait for the end of the concert.”

^V^

The concert went as well as could be expected without Tommy. Ritchie was an amazing guitarist but he didn’t know Adam like the blond did.

“Good show guys thanks. Ritchie you were fantastic thank you for stepping in.”

“My pleasure. Look if you don’t mind I’m going to slip away, my wife was out there tonight and I really want to…”

“Go, have a wonderful rest of the night and I hope she enjoyed herself.”

“Thanks Adam see you in a couple of days.”

“Yeah, night.”

“Ok bossman, are you ready to meet your Glamberts?”

“Yeah I suppose. I don’t want to be too late though I’m meeting lawyers tomorrow.”

“Not a problem, my cousin said he wouldn’t be too long as he’s got a long drive tonight.”

“K, lead on.”

Tommy, Oli and Andrew had arrived at the stage door just before 9.50. Tommy suggested they park down an alleyway opposite the door, that way they would be able to see everything but Adam wouldn’t spot Tommy. Oli had received a message from Stephen saying he was in place. Now all they needed was for Adam and Isaac to come out.

The concert had finished and the crowd was growing at the stage door. Oli got out, he said so he could get a better look for the girls. Andrew did the same. Tommy unsure what to do remained in the vehicle until he saw Isaac exit the building. Slowly climbing out the car Tommy went to stand in the shadows. He hadn’t realised how much he wanted to see his beautiful man. There he was. Adam looking as beautiful as ever. Tommy’s breath hitched he longed to go and wrap his arms around him but what was the point? Nothing could come of their relationship…not now.

He watched, something wasn’t right. Isaac was being pushed by a man. Tommy couldn’t see who it was as the man had his back to him. All he saw was him arguing with his friend. The man then turned away from Isaac and Tommy let got the breath he was holding. He wouldn’t want his friend hurt. But before Tommy could relax the man turned back to Isaac and as he did so he shifted to a were. That was all Tommy needed to see, his friend was in trouble and he had to help him. Without thinking he started to run towards Isaac praying his wolf would be there to help. As he shifted all he heard was Tommy Joe! He couldn’t stop he had to save Isaac. The golden wolf put himself between his friend and the were. Teeth bared the golden wolf growled scaring away the black wolf.

Adam and Isaac had been chatting to fans when this strange guy had approached shouting at Isaac that he had found out he was having an affair with the man’s wife. Adam knew that wasn’t the case and had gone to help but Isaac had said everything was ok he’d handle it. It appeared to be the case as the man had turned to walk away, but rather than leave, Adam saw him turn into a black wolf. He’d stood mesmerised as from nowhere Tommy had run out, towards Isaac. Adam was even more surprised when his beautiful Tommy had changed to an even more beautiful golden wolf.

He remembered shouting Tommy Joe before the golden wolf put himself between Isaac and his attacker. He watched as both wolves growled at one another before the black one turned and ran off.

The golden wolf sat watching as Adam headed towards him. He could run, but in truth he was please his secret had been revealed.

Adam moved slowly towards the wolf. “Tommy Joe, baby is…” He knelt at the side gently reaching forward with his hand as if to stroke it, but then gently dropping his hand by his side. The wolf seemed to cry before lying down, head on its front paws.

Oli and Andrew ran over and with the help of Isaac and venue security, managed to disperse the crowd.

Tommy and Adam remained on the ground watching one another. There was going to be a lot of explaining to do.

^V^

“Adam, what’s going on?” Ashley hadn’t seen Tommy shift, she’d been talking to fans. The first thing she knew something had happened was when Isaac had dispersed the crowd. As she turned she spotted the golden wolf. “Wow, that is one beautiful creature.” She was about to get close when Isaac stopped her. “Isaac…what’s going on?”

“Let’s leave them Ash, they need to sort this out.”

“What do you mean? Why is Adam just staring at the wolf?”

“It’s…well it’s TJ.”

“What? No! What do you mean it’s TJ?”

“Come on I’ll explain.” Isaac gently led her away glancing at his best friend as they left. He smiled and nodded, he was pleased to see him.

Tommy watched as his friend left with Ashley. He was scared, Adam was now sitting on the ground not moving, just watching him. He sat up looking around for Oli. He spotted him talking to Stacey, Miriam and Andrew. Why hadn’t Adam run off? Was he waiting to see if Tommy attacked him too? The golden wolf cried, well Tommy thought that’s what it sounded like. Oli came over hearing the sound. Tommy watched as Oli put a hand on Adam’s shoulder.

“Mr Lambert.” Adam continued staring at the wolf. “Mr Lambert…Adam.” The singer turned to look at who was speaking. “Mr Lambert, hi, my name is Oliver I…”

“Am I dreaming?”

Oli smiled. “No Mr Lambert, you’re not dreaming.”

“Please, it’s Adam. I’m assuming you’re a friend of Tommy’s. You’ve been looking after him?”

Tommy watched as Adam stood, noticing he didn’t take his eyes from him all the while he was talking to Oli. Tommy was calming down he could feel the wolf calming after the confrontation with the black creature. If his wolf was calm they why couldn’t he shift back to human form? Maybe it was instinct taking over, protecting him from what may still occur.

“Adam, you’re correct. My girlfriend and I have had Tommy staying with us.”

“Then please tell me what’s going on here. Is that…” he pointed to the wolf. “…is it Tommy Joe?” Oli nodded. “Then please tell me what the hell is going on. Why did that black wolf attack my drummer and how…when…why is Tommy sitting there as a wolf instead of my guitarist?”

“I’m sorry Adam, but I’m not the person to tell you why Tommy is a wolf, he has to do that. As for your drummer being attacked, that I’ll explain later. All you should realise is Tommy saved him.” He looked at the wolf, he really couldn’t explain it was a set up, not until he’d had a chance to explain everything to Adam.

“Is there somewhere you could both go and talk? You could do it in the street but I’m sure you’d both like some privacy?”

Neil had been watching from the stage door. He’d joined the rest of them as Tommy had shifted. “Adam, why don’t you go back inside, I’m sure the manager wouldn’t mind.”

“Neil I…yeah thanks, that sounds good.”

“Before you go…” Oli moved across to Tommy. “Please know that he won’t hurt you.” He put his hand on the wolf’s head. Tommy nuzzled the hand, he would have liked Oli to be there with them but he knew this was something he had to do, just him and Adam.

“I know he won’t, but thank your for reassuring me. Can I…crap this is going to sound stupid!”

“No Adam, nothing you say or ask is going to be stupid. I’m sure you have a million things going around in your head that you want answers for, so say what you want.”

“Wow…K…why isn’t he changing back? I…”

“He will…his wolf is protecting him, but once you’re alone I’m sure Tommy will come back to you.”

“Right…erm…ok. We’d…well we’d better go inside. Are you ok with that Tommy Joe?”

Tommy couldn’t believe how calm Adam was being. He thought he’d at least be shouting a dozen or so questions at everyone. Even Neil was calm. Neil who normally panicked about getting everyone and everything in the right place at the right time.

“Does he understand me?”

Oli smiled. “Yeah he does, don’t know how they do, but yeah he’ll have understood everything we’ve been saying.”

“Wow, ok. So…erm…let’s go talk.” He went to go back in the stage door but Neil stopped him. “Neil don’t be the caring brother, not now, I have to do this alone…with Tommy.”

“What if he…?”

“He won’t. Besides you’ll all be waiting out here…won’t you?” He looked at everyone his gaze ending on Oli.

“We’re not going anywhere. I’m going to ring Ciara to see if she can join us.”

“Who’s that?”

“Sorry Adam, I forgot to say, she’s my girlfriend and also a were.”

“Ah, ok.”

“I’m not were, I’m still human…for now.”

“Oh, are you saying…”

“Yeah, were’s and humans can have that kind of relationship too.” He winked at Adam.

Adam smiled for the first time since all of the events had begun. “Oh…ooohhh!” His smile widened.

Neil groaned. “Oh boy not what my brain needed to hear thank you.”

Tommy stood, huffed then brushed past Neil deliberately.

“Oi Ratliff, if there are any dog hairs on my pants I’ll…”

“Oh be quiet Neil.” Adam laughed as he followed Tommy into the venue.

^V^

Once inside Adam found somewhere to sit. It wasn’t the most comfortable of places, but it would do. He was prepared to wait as long as he had to for Tommy to become human again. He watched as the beautiful animal sat in front of him, it’s eyes the most gorgeous vibrant golden brown he’d ever seen. The creature stared at him and Adam realised that although its eyes were amazing there was sadness in them too.

“Oh Tommy, if Oliver was right and you can understand me I think your wolf is the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever seen. Just know also that I’m not going to be angry with you. I understand now why you thought you had to leave me…and everyone.” He put his hand out to touch the wolf but Tommy moved back. “Please Tommy Joe, come back to me, if only for us to talk. I can say so much but I want to know that…” He stopped, his boyfriend was changing back. He was in awe of the transformation. He had so many questions he didn’t know where to begin, so he sat quietly watching.

Tommy sensed his wolf slipping away, he wanted so much to hang on to it but knew that it didn’t have to protect him anymore not from his amazing man sitting waiting for him. He heard Adam gasp as the wolf disappeared leaving a scared blond sitting on the cold hard floor staring at him.

Tommy remained on the floor, yes he wanted to climb onto Adam’s lap. He knew these feelings would immediately reappear when he saw Adam, that was one of the reasons he’d not wanted to see him.

The silence between them grew, neither sure of what to say but both having so much they wanted to talk about.

Adam was the first to break the deafening silence. “Hey.” He smiled.

“hey yourself.” Tommy half smiled back.

“Wow, you’re…”

“A monster!”

“What? No Tommy, you’re beautiful.”

“Oh come on Lambert, it’s me, you can say what you’re really thinking.” Tommy stood moving away he didn’t, couldn’t be this close to the man he loved, he was stupid in thinking Adam could still love him as a were. He knew this wasn’t a good idea, why had he agreed to talk.”

“Ok, I’ll say what I’m really thinking. Are you ready to hear the truth?” Adam kept his tone level.”

“Yep, been waiting for this. So go on, tell me how revolting I am, I can take it. Then I’ll do what I should have done in the first place…leave town.” He stared at Adam.

“Tommy Joe Ratliff apart from being the most stubbornest person I know, you are a very beautiful, talented, intelligent, loving man. I can also see that you’re a very beautiful wolf who has so much sadness in him I just want to make everything right for him. I also…” he laughed. “Sorry, but I thought that deliberate brushing against my darling brother was a stroke of genius.” He laughed again.

Tommy laughed. “Yeah sorry about that, I couldn’t resist. But as for the rest, how do you know that’s who…what I am? Aren’t you afraid I’m going to rip your throat out when I get mad? Who’s to say what you saw wasn’t just me…my wolf leading you into a false sense of security?” He turned his back heading for the door.

“Wait Tommy.” Adam was off the chair and behind the blond so quick that Tommy didn’t have time to get his hand on the door handle. He felt Adam’s strong hands on his arms, slowly turning him around. He closed his eyes, the mere feel of strong hands had his breath and heart racing. He knew this would happen, why had he agreed to this?

“Tommy, baby, please look at me.”

He could hear such sadness in Adam’s voice. He opened his eyes but couldn’t meet Adam’s gaze so he looked at his shoes, they could do with a clean.

“Hey Glitterbaby, please look at me.” Adam placed a finger under Tommy’s chin gently moving his head up so they could look at each other. “I know you won’t hurt me, your wolf won’t hurt me because you love me and I love you, and before you protest yes I love _all_ of you. How could I not? Your wolf is a part of you now and you will always be in my heart no matter which version I’m seeing. Don’t deny you love me, I won’t believe you. If you didn’t love me then you’d have left town days ago. You’ve stayed in LA because deep down you couldn’t bear to be away from me. And no, that’s not my ego talking, it’s my heart, my head talking. Oh Tommy I’ve been so lost without you, please tell me you’ll come home with me.”

Tommy broke away. “NO! I knew you’d ask that. I can’t ever come home with you. Yes I love you that’s why I can’t do that. What if…shit…what if say I do come home, we go back to having a relationship and one night…or day when we’re fucking…”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Listen to me…I want you to see what I’ve become.”

“Ok, but…”

“No. Please listen.” Adam nodded. “So what if things go too far, I get lost in the sex and I bit you. You’d be no better than me…a werewolf. Then what would everyone think?”

Adam reached for Tommy’s hand, no matter how much the blond tried to pull away, Adam clung on tightly. “I don’t care what people would think. There are hundreds of were’s in this country living amongst us. I want to be with you anyway I can be. I’m lost without you. Please tell me you feel the same. I can see in your eyes a sadness Tommy. A sadness that I’ve never seen in you before.” He pulled him into a hug. Tommy tried to pull away but Adam was having none of it.

In the end Tommy gave in, the fight in him vanished. He wrapped his arms around Adam and cried.

“Oh my beautiful Tommy, it’s going to be ok, we’re going to be ok.”

“How can you say that when you don’t know what happened to me, what will happen to me.”

Adam moved just far enough to look into Tommy’s eyes. “It’s going to be ok because no matter what happens tomorrow, next week, next month, shit even next year, I know that I love you and want you with me in every sense of the word.”

“I…you’re not…”

“I’m not what?”

“You’re not scared of me…my wolf?”

“What? No way. I think you’re gorgeous Tommy Joe Ratliff, and as for your wolf, he’s beautiful.” Tommy blushed. “What I don’t know is how all this happened. When did you…well when did you become a wolf?”

“A long story.”

“I’ve got time. All the time for my amazing boyfriend.”

“You still want me?”

“I’ll never stop wanting you.” He kissed him lightly and Tommy moaned.

“As much as I want you Adam, you have to know me…the person I am now and how I got there.”

“K, as I said, I have the time.”

“N…not here. It’s cold, unfriendly. Can we go somewhere and I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

“Of course we can. How about my house?”

Tommy hesitated. “Would you mind if we went back to Oli’s. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but I’m sure at some point you’ll have questions that I won’t be able to answer. If we’re at theirs then both Ciara and Oli will help. It’s not that I don’t want to be alone with you…I do more than anything, but I think you should hear everything first before fully deciding you want me back as your guitarist, or even your boyfriend.”

“You know I want you, both ways, that goes without saying.”

“Please Adam, do it this way before you decide anything. When you’ve heard the full story you may change your mind.”

“Never, but ok, if that’s how it’s got to be I’ll respect your wishes.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready to face everyone?”

Tommy took a deep breath. “No, not really but it’s gonna happen sooner or later.”

“I’m with you, all the way baby.” Adam held out his hand which Tommy stared at. “I’m not leaving here until you hold my hand. I’m not afraid of you or your wolf and I’m not afraid of what anyone thinks.”

Tommy gently took Adam’s hand as they left to rejoin the others.

^V^

“I’m going in to see what’s going on. I don’t want that…”

“Neil Lambert don’t you dare say anything about Tommy’s wolf.”

“But what if…and besides how did…”

“He’s not going to hurt Adam and yes I knew it was Tommy, he told me the other day when I saw him at the mall.”

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

“It wasn’t my place to tell anyone, I promised TJ I wouldn’t. It was up to him to tell everyone. And thanks to Oli and Stephen, everyone now knows.”

“You meant to tell me this…thing tonight was a set up?” He looked from Isaac to Oli.

“Erm yeah. Sorry, we couldn’t say anything we couldn’t have Tommy finding out otherwise he wouldn’t have been here tonight. Let’s just say it was the only way to get a stubborn man to show how much he cared for his friends and to get him back with Adam.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” Neil had his back to the stage door and didn’t see Adam and Tommy emerge hand in hand.

“Who said it wouldn’t work?” Isaac whispered to Neil indicating as the pair joined them.

“What wouldn’t work?” Tommy had heard Isaac

“How did you…”

“Carpenter werewolves have excellent senses, so nothing gets past me again.” He winked and smiled.

“I was just talking about Ritchie. He did well tonight.”

“Ah so you won’t need me after all?”

“Are you saying you’re coming back?”

“Not yet. Adam needs to know a few things first. That’s why we’re gonna go and talk.”

“I know your talking!” Neil shuddered.

“Neil for once we _are_ going to talk. Oli if it’s ok with you and Ciara, could Adam and I talk at your home? I’d like both of you there just in case Adam has questions I can’t answer.”

“Sure. Ciara will be hunting but I’m sure she’ll not be long. I tried ringing her earlier but there was no answer.”

“You mean she’s…”

“Yes Neil, Oli’s girlfriend is were, oh and before you ask, Oli’s human…for now.”

“Oh…erm…wow…how do you…?”

“NEIL!” Adam and Tommy exclaimed together before everyone, except Neil, started laughing.

“On that note, I’m going home to my wife. I’ve heard waaay too much for my delicate ears for one night. I’ll see you in the morning Adam. Don’t forget meeting at 11 with the lawyers.”

“I won’t forget. Night little brother.” Neil waved to them as he headed to his car.

“Is everything ok Adam?” Tommy was worried, mention of lawyers couldn’t be a good thing.

“It will be. I’ll explain later. Right now I want to hear about you.”

As they headed to Oli’s vehicle, “you have to promise me one thing Adam.”

“What’s that baby?”

“No interrupting me. I have to explain everything before you ask any questions.”

“I promise.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand as they got in the car.

^V^

Ciara was still in wolf form, curled up on the decking, when they all got back. Stacey and Miriam wanted to stay and listen but Oli told them it was adult talk and they’d find out everything the following morning.

Andrew shook Adam’s hand before he too disappeared, leaving a wolf and three humans on the decking.

Ciara waited until Oli had got everyone a drink before shifting back. Adam commentated on how beautiful she was and how amazing it was to watch the transformation.

“Aren’t…weren’t you afraid I’d freak when I saw you?”

“No.” she smiled. “I saw how you haven’t let go of Tommy’s hand since you arrived.”

Oli laughed. “He hasn’t really let go since we were at the venue.”

Adam and Tommy blushed. “I’ve found him again, I don’t want to lose him. Not anymore.”

“I gather you accept him as were?”

“He’s Tommy Joe, whether he’s in human form or wolf form, and…well I love him.”

Ciara smiled. “That’s fantastic. See Tommy we told you Adam wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah you did. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no more sorry’s. You’re together, that’s all that matters.”

“I want Adam to hear everything. I hope you don’t mind me bringing him here. I thought if he had any questions I couldn’t answer maybe you could both help.”

“It would be our pleasure.” Ciara went to sit on Oli’s lap.

Adam watched the couple, he hoped one day Tommy would be as comfortable with him as Ciara was with Oli. “So Tommy Joe, are you going to explain or do I have to ask a ton of questions?” He winked at Tommy’s friends.

“K…ok, but you have to let me finish, no interruptions.”

“I promise.” He kissed Tommy’s hand, as the blond blushed.

Tommy took a deep breath then began telling him everything that had happened, from realising his attacker may have been a werewolf to waking up the evening of their final New York concert realising something had changed when he’d seen his eyes. He explained that he’d kept his sunglasses on because he was frightened that if anyone saw them he’d have to tell them what he thought was going on and that he’d thought if Adam knew he’d tell him to leave.

He told them that he thought he was doing the right thing leaving the letters and disappearing. He said he’d left because he didn’t understand that his wolf wouldn’t hurt people they loved and that they’d protect them.

He explained that the first time he’d shifted had hurt like hell and he’d been so alone at the back of the Hollywood sign.

Adam had tears in his eyes when Tommy explained how Ciara had taken him in and taught him how to control his wolf.

Tommy ended by saying when he saw Isaac in danger earlier that evening his instinct was to protect him as he thought of him as one of his pack.

When he’d finished Tommy felt drained but also like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“So…that’s now me. No going back to just plain old human Tommy Joe Ratliff. I’m now werewolf Ratliff. How do you feel about that Mr Lambert?”

“How do I feel?” Tommy held his breath. “I feel honoured to love such a wonderful person. A person who is brave, beautiful and I couldn’t imagine living one day without him.” He leant in to kiss him.

Ciara had tears in her eyes. “Oh wow, that was beautiful Adam.” She wiped her eyes.

“I just want to thank you both for looking after Tommy and helping him through what must have been such a frightening time.”

“It’s what we do.”

“You are both amazing people.” Adam smiled at them.

“Is there anything you want to ask us?”

“Wow, I have so much going on in my mind I don’t know where to begin.”

“Can I make a suggestion?” Ciara noticed Tommy was shaking.

“Of course.” Adam smiled then looked at the blond. “Are you ok baby?”

“Mmmm not sure.”

“Tommy, when was the last time you hunted?”

“Erm a couple of days ago I think.”

“Adam, one thing you should understand is that now Tommy is were his metabolism is different to humans. Yes he can eat what he’s always eaten, but he will need to hunt.” She saw shock on Adam’s face. “Don’t worry he’ll only hunt for rabbit and dear, not human, we don’t do that anymore. He needs the goodness raw meat will give him, otherwise he’ll become ill.”

“I…oh, what…?”

“You’ll have to make sure he goes hunting if he decides to come back to you.”

Adam looked at the blond. “I thought you were coming back to me, that’s why I came here tonight.”

“Adam, I wanted you to know everything about me before we decided what was going to happen. I don’t want you back unless you can cope with everything I am now. I don’t want to be a burden on you, on any of you.”

“Tommy, sweetheart, you’ll never be that.” He pulled him in for a hug. “I…I love you.”

“And I love you. I just…”

“I have an idea.” Ciara slid off Oli onto the floor. “Why don’t we go hunt, leave Adam to talk to Oli…human to human. Then when we get back if he still has questions about you being were, I can help him.”

“That sounds ok by me.” Adam looked at Tommy, “what do you say Glitterbaby?”

Tommy blushed. “ok but promise me one thing Adam?”

“Anything.”

“If you think having me back isn’t going to work then tell me straight away. I don’t want any false hopes. If you can’t bear what, who I am now, I have to know. I’ll promise to leave town and you won’t have to see me again. Ritchie is an awesome musician and he’ll be good for your band.”

“Tommy I…”

“No, don’t say anything now. Talk to Oli learn what it’s like living with a were, then talk to Ciara when we get back. Then and only then take some time to think things through properly. Once you’ve done that, tell me your decision.”

“Tommy what…”

“No Adam.” He looked at Ciara, nodded, shifted then ran off.

Ciara smiled a sad smile at Adam, kissed Oli then shifted and followed the golden wolf.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Tommy loves you but he wants you to make sure you know what his and _your_ life will be like. So…ask anything you want.”

^V^

Adam stared out of the window looking in the direction Tommy and Ciara had gone.

“Are you ok Adam?”

“What?...sorry, I was just thinking.”

“There’s been a lot of that going on around here lately. Want to share your thoughts?”

He turned and looked at the man who had been watching out for his Tommy. “Why didn’t Tommy come to me when he first realised what was going on?”

“He was scared. He told you he thought as a wolf he would hurt you more. This may sound selfish on Tommy’s part but he needed time to figure everything out without having pressure from anyone. He needed help from another were and that’s why he came to us. Ciara found him and made sure he got the help he needed. I know it’s difficult to understand but if he hadn’t been here his wolf would not be what, who he is today. I know from seeing others go through what Tommy has it’s not an easy process. I also know that if Tommy hadn’t got help from Ciara he would be dictated by the phases of the moon as to when he shifted. You saw him shift at will to save Isaac and it’s with Ciara’s help he’s able to control his wolf like that.”

“So are you saying he won’t change, shift or whatever you called it, when there’s a full moon?”

“No, he’s still going to shift, but he will be able to control it. He won’t be in pain now he has control. If he didn’t have that control then each full moon shift would be as painful as the first.”

“Wow, I have so much to learn. How did Ciara know about Tommy? Where to find him?”

Oli smiled. “My Ciara is the Alpha of our pack and will be sent information about new were’s from other Alpha’s. Tommy’s case was slightly different. The woman who did this to him was jealous of your relationship with him and she thought if she made him a were he’d stay in New York with her.”

“Oh my! I’m thankful to both of you for taking care of Tommy Joe. He’s very beautiful in his wolf form. When I saw him tonight I fell in love with him all over again.” He blushed, “What happened to the wolf who did this to Tommy?”

“Let’s just say she’s no longer around to harm anyone else.”

“You mean she’s…”

“I’m afraid so. She was given a chance but the wolves of New York caught up with her. She wouldn’t have survived prison, her wolf would have gone insane in captivity and would have committed suicide. This way she was given a chance.”

“Wow. The laws are something I’m going to have to research.”

“If you want Tommy back as much as you say you do, there are a lot of things you are going to have to understand.”

“I can see that. But one thing will never change and that is my love for him, both sides of him.”

“I can see how much he means to you, and I know from conversations that Tommy loves _you_ very much too.”

“I can feel a but coming on.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid it’s not going to be easy for him to come straight back to you and pick up where you both left off.”

“I don’t care how long it takes I’ll wait for him.”

“I can see that, you need to tell him that too.”

“How long will they be hunting?”

“It depends on how quickly Tommy catches his supper. I’m sorry if that sounds barbaric, but that’s another thing you’ll have to all get used to if Tommy decides he wants to come back.”

“I see.” Adam went quiet.

“Do you think you’d be able to cope with Tommy disappearing some night to go feed?”

“If it means he’ll be back with me, I’ll be there for him. And knowing Tommy Joe if he forgets to hunt then I’ll remind him.” Adam smiled.

“That’s good to hear. I can see you’re not put off by what, who Tommy is now.”

“No, I still love him with all my heart.”

“And I love you baby boy.”

Adam hadn’t heard the wolves come back so was surprised to hear Tommy’s voice. “Do you mean that Tommy Joe?”

“I’ve never stopped loving you, that’s why I did what I did. I didn’t want to hurt those I love.”

“Come here.” Adam held his arms out, Tommy slowly moved to him. As soon as he was close enough Adam pulled him into a hug just as Tommy’s tears started.

^V^

Tommy and Ciara hadn’t gone very far when Tommy heard rustling in the bushes. He waited patiently until he saw the rabbit emerge from the undergrowth. With swift movements he caught and killed the creature. Looking at Ciara who huffed her approval, Tommy set to and devoured his prey, hoping that Adam wouldn’t think this part of him was too gross to live with.

Once he’d eaten he really did feel a lot better. He hadn’t realised or knowing Tommy hadn’t taken much notice of when Ciara had explained why were’s had to hunt.

Laying down he felt more relaxed than he had done in many days. He pushed his wolf back allowing himself to be human again, he had questions but didn’t want anyone else around when he asked them.

Ciara watched and sensed there was a reason Tommy had shifted, so she followed suit.

“Are you ok Tommy?”

“I think so. I don’t feel so drained and shaky anymore.”

“That’s good. You have to remember you must hunt, otherwise you’ll be ill.”

“I will, thank you.”

“But there’s something else isn’t there?”

“Yeah.”

“So are you going to tell me or are you just going to worry about it and make yourself ill.”

“Adam!”

“Yes, he’s gorgeous. I can see why you love him, but what about him?”

“Do you think he’ll still love me when he’s finished finding out about what, who I’ve become?”

“Oh Tommy, from the way he looks at you and never let go of your hand, I’d say you have nothing to worry about. Do you still love him?”

“I’ve never stopped loving him. I just…”

“Then you should tell him. Let him make his own mind up about what he wants to do. He may surprise you. Not everyone has prejudices against were’s. Admittedly there are still people out there who don’t think we should exist, but most people now accept us for who we are.”

“Adam has had a lot to overcome, people still don’t or won’t listen to his music because he’s gay. I just don’t want my situation to add to that. I’d hate to see his fans go against him because of me.”

“If they are true fans they’ll accept you for who you are. If not then that’s their problem not Adam’s and certainly not yours.”

Tommy hugged her. “You’re an amazing person Ciara. I’m so pleased you and Oli came into my life.”

“Awww thank you. I’m just happy we could be there to help you.”

“Would you mind if we went back? I have to tell Adam something.”

“Of course, wanna race?”

“I’d rather just walk, I need to get stuff clear in my head.”

“Not a problem.”

They shifted and headed home.

^V^

Ciara and Tommy arrived just in time to hear Adam tell Oli he loved him with all his heart.

“And I love you baby boy.” Tommy smiled and went to Adam’s outstretched arms. “I never stopped loving you. That’s why I did what I did. I didn’t want to hurt those I love.” As tears ran down his cheeks.

“Oh my beautiful Tommy, we’re going to be ok. Everything will work out for us. Sshh, I’m here, I’m not going to let you go. Not now, not ever.” He brushed the tears from Tommy’s face.

“What about everyone else?”

“They’ve missed you and if I know my Glamily they won’t care that you’re were, knowing them as we do they’ll probably think it’s cool.” Tommy laughed through his tears. “What’s wrong, what did I say?” But Adam too was smiling.

“You have to promise not to be mad at him?”

“You’ve lost me baby, mad at who?”

“Isaac.”

“Why what’s he done?”

Tommy pulled away. “He knew I was were. He saw me in the mall and we had a coffee and I told him everything, but I made him promise not to tell you.” He looked at Adam, sadness back in his eyes.

Oli coughed. “I…erm…I have a confession to make too.”

Adam looked at Tommy then Oli. “Ok, do I need to sit down for this?”

“I think we should all sit down. I’ll get us a drink, stronger than coffee, whilst you boys confess everything.” Ciara disappeared into the kitchen.

“Wow, ok, I’m listening.” Adam sat, pulling Tommy down next to him, he needed physical contact with the blond after being apart for so long.

Tommy felt safer now he had contact with Adam, he’d thought the singer may have been angry that he’d spoken to Isaac.

“Tommy, that day you saw Isaac in the mall. I saw you talking to him. But I didn’t want to interrupt, I was pleased you had the courage to sit and talk.”

“But that’s not everything is it?” Tommy moved slightly away from Adam although still remaining in contact by holding each others hand.

“No it’s not.” Oli took a deep breath. “I’m so very sorry Tommy but when you went into the music store I went and chatted to Isaac.”

“He never said, but then neither did you.”

Adam waited as the two men shared their secrets. “What else did Isaac say?”

“We both said quite a bit but we were both of the same opinion that we needed to get two stubborn men to meet up and at least talk to one another.”

“Hold on a minute.” Adam was now putting the pieces together. “So when Isaac said he’d seen you…” Tommy was about to answer, “no Tommy he didn’t say he’d spoken to you, just that you’d said hello or something and then you’d left. So before you think he betrayed your trust, he didn’t. ok?”

“Ok.”

Adam turned his attention back to Oli. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but everything that happened outside the venue tonight was staged? Isaac was in no danger at all? It was done so Tommy would save him and I’d see him?”

“Oli…Ciara…is Adam right?” Tommy could feel his anger rising.

Ciara sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. “Yes Tommy, Adam’s right.”

He pulled his hand away. “You were supposed to be my friends, supposed to be helping me. What happened to the _we don’t have secrets here_ policy? You kept it from me.” He stopped. “I’m right in thinking Isaac was in on this too?” He stood, then began pacing.

“Tommy baby, come and sit back down.”

“Not until I’ve heard their reply.” He stopped, glaring at Oli and Ciara.

“Yes Tommy, Isaac was in on the plan, but don’t be angry. We could all see how much you were hurting how much you were missing Adam. We could see how much Adam was missing you, so we decided to do something. I’m sorry if we’ve betrayed you but we didn’t want you to leave LA without knowing how Adam felt about you being a were. The longer you were apart the more depressed you became. Isaac told me how Adam wasn’t eating or sleeping properly and neither of us wanted to see either of you become ill. We thought this was the only way to get you to see one another. And before you go off on another rant, you have to admit it worked.” Oli was silently praying that his explanation had calmed Tommy down.

Tommy remained quiet. Adam wanting so much to go to him hold him, but knew Tommy needed to get his feelings under control first. He didn’t want to force anything on the blond.

“Please Tommy…say something.” Ciara was crying, she went to sit on Oli’s lap. “We only wanted to see you both happy again.”

“Tommy, please baby, say something. I…well I for one am grateful to everyone. I…”

“No Adam.”

“What do you mean no?” Adam also had tears in his eyes.

Tommy looked at his boyfriend. “Ok, yes I feel betrayed. Oli and Ciara knew how I felt about you, about wanting to leave LA. If I’m honest right up until the incident tonight I was still going to leave. But…”

“But what sweetheart?”

“Well.” He sighed. “Now I know how you feel about my wolf, I’m going to stay, but on  one condition.”

“Anything Tommy Joe.”

Tommy looked at Ciara and Oli, who both nodded. “K, You _all_ have to let me do this at my pace, please don’t try to tell me I need, should do it this way or that. I’m still coming to terms with who I am, so I don’t need extra pressure to do anything else. Adam, you should keep Ritchie playing for you…for now. I’m not saying I’m not ever coming back but I can’t right now. Ciara, Oli thank you for everything you’ve done for me but it’s now time for me to go home to _my_ house. Adam, I know how much you want me to stay with you and believe me I want that too, I just need some time for me to get some normality back into my life. I have to prove to _me_ I can do this. Ok?”

“Anything you want baby. I’m just happy that you’re thinking of staying in LA.”

“Ciara, Oli you’ve not said anything.” Tommy went to sit with Adam.

It was Ciara who spoke. “Tommy I hope that you can forgive us for deceiving you…both of you tonight. Please don’t be angry with Isaac, yes he went along with the plan but it was all Oli’s idea. I’m not going to lie, I’ll be sorry to see you leave here, we’ve all enjoyed your company, your guitar playing, even your sarcasm…” Adam laughed. “but remember, there’s always a place for you here, and you Adam, you’re welcome to come and stay. I’ll warn you though, were’s are a lively bunch. Seriously though, our home is always open to you. And Tommy one last thing, if ever you feel things are getting too much for you and you need another were to run and hunt with, I’m here for you.” She smiled.

Tommy smiled. “Thank you. I’m sorry I got upset earlier. I know you were only trying to help a stubborn were. I’m truly grateful for everything you’ve done for me.” He looked at Adam then gently kissed him.

“Now that’s the best thing I’ve seen in a very long time.” Ciara was crying again.

“I had better go, it’s…well I can’t say late as it’s 2am. If I’m not ready for when Neil comes to pick me up there’ll be hell to pay.”

“You could always tell him you’ve got a new puppy to play with.” Tommy giggled. “That’ll shock him.”

“Tommy Joe Ratliff you’re an evil man but I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love you.”

“And I love you baby boy.”

Adam stood, pulling Tommy in for a hug. “It’s so good to hear you giggle baby, I’ve missed that so much.” He kissed him then headed for the door.

“How are you getting home?” Oli remembered he’d travelled with them.

“I was going to call a cab.”

“I’ll take you.”

“Oliver you’ve done so much already.”

“It’d be my pleasure, besides there _is_ something I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh! What’s that?”

“Let’s just say it’s human to human talk.”

“Oh, ok.” Adam pulled Tommy in for another kiss. “I’m never going to get fed up doing that.”

“Mmmm, me neither. Adam…”

“Yeah.

“When’s your next concert?”

“We’ve got 2 days off then we’re at Royce Hall. Why?”

“I…erm would it be ok if I…well if I came around to yours maybe spend some time with you, you know just the two of us?”

“Tommy I’d love that.”

“I’m not saying we could…”

“Hey, we can do whatever you want. Like you said, your pace. I’m just happy to have you back in my life.”

“Thank you. Now go, get some sleep and I’ll ring you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Goodnight Tommy Joe. I love you too.” He kissed him again before heading out with Oli.

“Are you ok Tommy?”

“Yeah, I think I am. I’m sorry again for what I said about you both.”

“Not to worry. It’s been a shock. I can understand how you were feeling. But I meant everything I said. We’re here for you and Adam any time you feel you need us.”

He hugged her. “Thanks. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to try to get some rest, even if I can’t sleep.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Would you do something for me?”

“Of course.”

“Would you let me tell everyone I’m going home and I’m sort of back with Adam.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Thanks, goodnight.”

“Night Tommy.”

 

Tbc


	9. Chapter 9

“You’re very quiet Adam, is everything ok? Are you having second thoughts about being back with Tommy?”

“What? No definitely no second thoughts. My life isn’t complete without him. It’s just…wow…I don’t really know how to say this.”

“I’ve always thought that just asking straight questions is the way to go.” Adam laughed. “Oh have I said something…?”

“Sorry for laughing, but you know I’m not straight…never have been.” He winked.

Oli laughed. “I just…oh never mind.” They both laughed again. “seriously, whatever you want to know please just ask. I’m not going to be offended nor embarrassed.” They’d pulled up at traffic lights Oli turned and smiled at his passenger.

“Wow, ok here goes.” Adam wiped his hands down his jeans, his hands had become sweaty all of a sudden. “K…erm…”

“Adam spit it out, I promise not to laugh.”

“Right…” Adam took a deep breath. “When were’s and humans have sex, is…well is it dangerous? I mean what if we, well lose ourselves in the moment, would Tommy bite me, you know his wolf I mean?”

They’d pulled up outside Adam’s home. Oli turned off the engine, turning to him. “No, sex with a were is amazing, you know animal instinct and all that. But don’t worry, Tommy won’t change you if he bites you, unless you want him to and then there’s more to it than just biting. What I will say is that if he does bite here…” he pointed to the juncture of his neck. “Any were that approaches you will know that you are mated with Tommy and will stay away from you.”

“Ok, so having sex isn’t going to be a problem?”

“On the contrary sex with a were is amazing.”

“Thanks.”

“Told you, ask anything.”

“Do I gather that you’re going to ask Ciara to change you?” Adam blushed. “Sorry if I’m being too personal.”

“Not at all. And yes I want her to change me, that way we can have children, plus were’s tend to live longer than humans. Don’t ask me how or why but their aging process slows down.”

“Oh! I’m happy for you both.”

“Why do you want to know Adam? Are you thinking of asking Tommy to change you?”

“I want to be with him and hopefully we can go back to what we had before. I just want to keep my options open.”

“Whatever you do Adam please think long and hard as once you change there will be no going back to being human again. Being a were is for the remainder of your life.”

“Thank you. I understand and I will think about it. For now I’m going to just be happy that I have Tommy Joe back in my life.”

“One more thing.”

“Ok.”

“Don’t push him into anything. He’s had a rough time this last couple of weeks. He’s scared that he’s going to hurt you, disappoint you, but most of all he’s afraid that if he does go back to being your boyfriend he’s going to hold back on his feelings and actions because the last thing he wants to do is accidentally change you. You have to let him be himself and don’t rush into anything.”

“I won’t. I’ve told him we’re going at his pace. Now I’ve got him back in my life I don’t ever want to lose him again.”

“You’re a good man Adam, Tommy is so very lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, but I’m the lucky one to have Tommy. I’m sorry Oli, but I have to go, I have a meeting in the morning, sorry this morning, and I need to rest before the onslaught of what I know is going to happen.”

“You take care of yourself and for the record, I’m sorry we had to deceive you like that but we were so worried about Tommy and his wolf’s health if he remained away from you for much longer.”

“I’m glad you arranged everything tonight. Thank you.”

“Remember our home is always open and _any_ questions you or Tommy have, you know where we are.”

“Yeah, thanks. Goodnight, or should I say good morning?” He smiled as he got out of the vehicle.

“Goodnight and I hope things go ok in the meeting.”

Adam waved his goodbye. He had a few hours before the meeting with their lawyers. He was still processing everything that had happened, but he really did need some sleep.

^V^

Tommy hadn’t really slept a great deal, there was too much going around in his head. He needed to go home that much was certain. As much as he loved his new friends…no family…he had to face everyone. He’d been surprised by Adam’s reaction, he’d thought the singer would have wanted nothing more to do with him. But deep down he was so happy that Adam hadn’t batted and eyelid and told him he wanted him back. Now all he had to do was explain to his mom and Lisa. He heard movement downstairs so went to join everyone for a last breakfast.

Oli was, as usual, cooking the bacon and Tommy’s stomach grumbled in anticipation. “Morning.” He smiled as he poured himself a coffee.

“Morning. Now that’s a Tommy who I can see is much happier with everything.”

“Yeah I am, sort of. I know Adam says he’s ok with who I am now. It’s just…well my mom and sister who I have to tell.”

“If you want us to be with you, you know we’re more than happy to help.”

“Thanks, I couldn’t have done any of this without either of you, but I think I have to tell them on my own.”

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“Sure Ciara.”

“Why don’t you ask Adam to go with you, that way they would see you’re telling them everything.”

“I had thought about asking him but he’s very busy.”

“Tommy Ratliff, he loves you, wants to be with you through everything, don’t you think this is one of those time?”

Tommy blushed but smiled, a smile that for the first time sparkled in his eyes. “Yeah I suppose it is. I’m going to have to get used to being with him again.”

“When I took him home last night, he told me that he would be there for you no matter what, and whatever you decide he is willing to wait for you for however long it takes. He really does love you.”

“And I love him. I just don’t want to push him to wait too long.”

“Then this is a good opportunity for him to be there with you…for you.”

“You’re right. I’m going to message him. I know he has a meeting this morning so maybe we could go see mom and Lisa this afternoon.” He smiled again. He really did feel as though all the weight he’d been carrying this last couple of weeks was disappearing.

“Good idea. Breakfast will be a few more minutes. Go sit outside and we’ll keep everyone in here so they won’t disturb you.”

“Thanks…both of you. Oh Oli, make my bacon crispy.” He laughed as he headed out, Ciara shouting her horror at his love for crispy bacon.

He sat in the warm sunshine, finger posed over the message icon. What would he say? What would Adam’s response be? _Stop overthinking Ratliff, he said he loves you, you told him your feelings so just get on with it.”_

**_Hey baby boy, I know you’re heading to a meeting but would you go with me this afternoon to see my mom and Lisa?_** He immediately hit send, if he hadn’t he would have probably deleted it. All he had to do now was wait.

Adam had just let Neil in when his phone bleeped.

“Whoever it is tell them you’re busy.”

“Neil, I know this meeting is important but so is this.” He’d seen the number but not recognised it until he’d seen _baby boy_ he smiled.

“What’s so important it can’t wait?”

“It’s Tommy Joe. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“So you’re back together?”

“Yes Neil, so please if you can’t be happy for us, don’t say anymore.”

“I…no Adam, I’m happy for you, I’m pleased he’s been able to put a smile back on my brothers’ face. I just…well this meeting is…”

“Neil!”

“K, ok. I know when to shut up. Just don’t be too long.”

Adam smiled as he read the message, typing out his reply. **Of course I’ll go with you. Just let me know what time and I’ll pick you up.**

Tommy didn’t have to wait too long. He smiled, he was beginning to feel whole again. He’d really missed being with Adam.

**_Ok I’ll ring mom and let you know. But would you mind if I came to yours. I…my wolf needs to run and it would be good if I could run to you._ **

**Of course you can let me know, I just may not answer right away because of the meeting. I’d love for you to run to me, I loved watching you shift last night and I’d love to see it again. Your wolf and you are beautiful.**

**_Thank you, I love you Adam see you later xx_ **

**I love you too, see you later xx**

Tommy was smiling when he joined the rest of the group.

“I gather your messages went well?” Ciara could see a new calmness in Tommy as he sat at the table.

“Yeah it did, thanks. Adam is going with me.” At this point everyone stopped talking and eating, Tommy started at them. “What?”

Ciara reached for his hand. “You going to be ok to tell them?”

“Yeah I am.” He found he couldn’t stop smiling. It was Andrew who dared to ask the question. “So Tommy the smile on your face, I take it everything went well with Adam last night?”

The blond blushed. “Yeah it did. I…we…well we’re going to take things slowly, but we’re gonna give us another go. I, well I’ve never stopped loving him and as it turns out Adam feels the same about me. As for my wolf, well he thinks…” he blushed an even deeper red, “…he thinks my wolf is beautiful.” He took a mouthful of coffee as everyone around the table cheered.

“I want to thank everyone here for all the help you’ve given me, I don’t know what I’d have done or where I’d be if Ciara hadn’t found me. I’m going to go home, to my house after breakfast then Adam and I are going to see my mom and sister this afternoon. I have to tell them everything and Adam is going to help me. One thing I do know for certain is that Adam and I are happier together.”

A cheer went around the room.

“When are you leaving?” Stacey looked sad.

“When I’ve packed my meagre belongings and sorted myself out this morning. But before you say any more, I’ll always class you as part of my ever growing family. I’m going to come and see you regularly. In fact you may get fed up with me coming back.” A chorus of never! Filled his ears as he laughed.

“Would you bring Adam with you?” Stacey was quick to ask.

“Stacy, Adam’s a very busy man.” Ciara scolded her.

“It’s ok, I’m sure if Adam isn’t too busy he’d love to come and meet you all. Although he’s already met Stephen.” Tommy had later recognised him from outside the venue. Stephen coughed. “Hey, it’s ok, I know you were all trying to help. And you did, so thank you.”

“Breakfast wasn’t the usual noisy affair after Tommy’s revelation. Everyone was sorry to see him leave but wished him all the love and happiness in the world.

“Have you spoken to your mom yet?” Ciara knew it was probably going to be a difficult conversation.

“No not yet. Just plucking up the courage and trying to find the right words.”

“Just be yourself. That’s all she’ll want to hear.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Ok, wish me luck.”

“Good luck, you’ll be fine.” She left him to make the call.

Dia was trying to read the morning paper but couldn’t really concentrate. She hadn’t heard from Adam, but she knew he’d had a concert the previous evening, so she thought she’d probably hear from him later in the day. She was about to ring Lisa when her phone rang.

Without really looking at the caller ID she answered. “Hello, Dia speaking.”

“Mom.”

“Thomas, is…is that you?” She held her breath.

“Yeah mom, it’s me.”

“Oh honey, how, where are you?” Her hands were shaking.

“I’m ok. I’m still in LA.”

“Are you looking after yourself?”

Tommy laughed. “Yes mom, I’m looking after myself.”

“Have you spoken to Adam?”

“Mom I have something to ask you.” He didn’t want to talk about Adam he wanted that to be a nice surprise for her when they turned up together.

“Oh, what is it sweetheart?”

“Would…would you get Lisa to be at your house say around 2 o’clock this afternoon?”

“Of course I will, why what’s happened. Are you sure you’re ok.”

“Mom, please, I’d rather explain when I see you both.”

“Oh Thomas does that mean you’re coming home?”

“Mom, please. I’ll explain everything. I just want you to get Lisa there and please both of you need to have an open mind.”

“What for? Please…”

“No mom, not over the phone. I’d, well you have to see. Look I’ll see you both later. Bye mom.” He hung up.

Dia stared at her phone, tears silently running down her face. Her baby was coming home.

^V^

Tommy messaged Adam to let him know he’d be with him around 1pm, would that be ok then to go straight to his mom’s? Adam sent a quick reply telling him that would be great and he’d see him then as he was just going into his meeting.

Tommy hoped that whatever was going on would be resolved quickly, Adam didn’t need anymore problems in his life right now.

Everyone was waiting for him as he carried his guitar and rucksack downstairs. He was surprised to see a number of the pack had tears in their eyes. He’d only been there a couple of weeks, but they said he was like a brother to them all. He said his goodbyes to everyone telling them he’d definitely be back to see them.

As everyone disappeared he turned to Ciara and Oli.

“Wow that was harder than I expected.”

“They all love you and are there for you when you need them.”

“Thanks. And thank you both. Like I said at breakfast I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

That’s what we’re here for. Now, do you want Oli to drive you home?”

“Yes please, if it’s not too much trouble?”

“Never.”

Tommy laughed, “sorry, I was just thinking about what Adam asked earlier.”

“What was that?”

“He wanted to pick me up, I told him my wolf would rather run. He said that he thought my wolf was beautiful. I never thought I’d hear him say that.”

“Well he is beautiful just like his human.”

Tommy blushed. “Thank you.” He handed Oli the phone. “Thank you for the use of this. I won’t be needing it anymore I have my own at home.”

“My pleasure.” He passed the blond a slip of paper. “Mine and Ciara’s numbers if you ever need to talk.”

“Thanks, I’ll message you both when I’ve been to see mom and Lisa.” He hesitated. “Would you…would you mind sending me the video you took of me as I shifted. I’d like to keep that if I may.”

“Of course.” Oli pulled him in for a hug. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

Ciara linked her arm through both men’s as they headed out.

^V^

Adam and Neil weren’t long at their lawyer’s. He’d said the new contract with the new label was an excellent one and Michael didn’t have a leg to stand on. He wasn’t in a position to make Adam do any small venues promoting the album as Adam had already agreed on the promotional aspect. As for Michael suing them, well he’d have a tough time pulling that off as everything Adam had said he would do he’d already accomplished and his lawyer wouldn’t see him forced into anything more.

Adam was now pacing his lounge.

“Will you sit down and relax.”

“I’m waiting for Tommy.”

“Well while you wait why don’t you sit down.”

“What if he changes his mind?”

“Oh boy!”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s said he’s coming, so stop worrying. He’ll be here. He said he would.”

“I know but…”

Their conversation was cut short by a tapping on the patio door. Adam rushed through to the sun room to find a beautiful golden wolf at the window.

Neil followed him, “Wow!”

“Yeah, he’s gorgeous isn’t he?” He opened the door for the wolf to enter.

“Are you sure that’s Tommy?” Neil stared at the creature.

“I’m sure.” Adam knelt down as the wolf approached him. “Hey beautiful, it’s ok no-one is going to hurt you.”

The wolf looked at Adam, huffed, then went to rub against Neil.

“Hey! Watch it! I don’t want hairs on my pants.” Neil moved away, as the wolf went back to sit with Adam. “I think this is my cue to leave.”

“Bye Neil.” Adam never took his eyes from the creature.

Neil left muttering something under his breath about dog hairs and Adam would never get them off his sofa.

Adam laughed. “Hey, I love how easy that was to get rid of my brother.” He reached out to stroke the wolf, who leant into his touch. “Ok baby, there’s just the two of us now are you…” slowly he saw the golden wolf disappearing and his Tommy replacing it. “Wow that is always going to amaze me, it’s such an awesome sight to see. You are both gorgeous.”

“Do…do you really mean that Adam?”

Adam pulled him into a hug. “Of course I mean it. Tommy Joe Ratliff you are beautiful in either form and I’m never going to stop loving you.” Tommy held on and cried. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“N…nothing, I just didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that again.”

“Oh Tommy, you are who I’ve been looking for my whole life and when you left, it felt like my life had ended. Now you’re back we can start our lives together…if that’s what you want?”

Tommy wiped away the tears. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. You do know it’s not going to be easy?”

“I know, but we’re in this together…ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” Tommy leant in and kissed him. Gentle at first then as Adam opened up for him the kiss deepened, their breathing rapid, both lost in the sensation of a kiss so missed by both men.

Breaking apart when the need to breathe overtook them Adam smiled at his man. “Wow that was…”

“Too much too soon?”

“What? No Tommy, I was going to say awesome, I’ve missed you so very much.”

“I’ve missed you too. We have a lot to catch up on.”

“We do, but only when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” He sighed.

“What is it baby?”

“We need to go see my mom and Lisa. I’m scared they may disown me. I’m…different.”

“No baby, you’re still Tommy but with a bit extra. And they’ll love your wolf as much as I do.”

“What if they don’t?”

“They’ll be fine. You’re not alone anymore, I’m with you all the way and they will love you as much as always.”

“Thank you for going with me, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“My pleasure. Come on let’s go.” He kissed him then stood holding out his hand. Tommy willingly took it as they headed out.

^V^

Tommy was quiet on the drive to his mom’s. He didn’t know what he was going to say to them. He was still scared that they may reject him. But at least he’d still have Adam. He looked at the profile of the man, concentrating on driving. He was grateful to him for not bombarding him with questions. That would probably come later when it was just the two of them alone. Alone…wow that had not happened for a long time. Not since the night after the attack and then Tommy had not said anything to Adam, he’d just feigned sleep as the singer got into bed with him.

He stared out of the window, smiling when he saw couples happily wandering down the streets hand in hand. Would he and Adam enjoy that freedom or would people shun them because of who/what Tommy was now? So many questions still bouncing around in his head. But the main one was, would Adam still want to make love to him? He sighed.

“Penny for them?”

“Mmm sorry, what did you say?” He turned to look at Adam.

“You’ve been very quiet Tommy Joe, is there something I can help you with?”

“I was just thinking.”

“Well instead of just thinking, I know you, you have a tendency to overthink stuff. Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind. What do you they say…A problem shared is a problem halved? I want to help you sweetheart, but if you don’t talk to me I can’t help.” He reached over and squeezed Tommy’s hand.

“How did I ever deserve you Adam Mitchel Lambert, after everything I’ve put you through this last couple of weeks. I feel as though I’m starting everything again. I keep having to pinch myself to make sure being with you again is not a dream. When I left I had every intention of leaving LA but…”

“Oh Tommy, I can’t begin to understand what you went through. I do appreciate _why_ you thought you had to leave. We’ve all seen reports about were’s and the way some people treat them. Years ago it was the LGBTQ community who were struggling to get people to accept us. Things will change, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for everyone but it will get better. Yes there are some people who still say being gay is wrong and I’m certain there will be people who say the same about were’s. But remember, you have me, the Glamily, Oli, Ciara and her pack who are with you one hundred per cent. If ever you feel you have to get away, run with your pack then I won’t stop you. It’s who you are and I love you no matter what.”

He pulled up just around the corner from Dia’s house. He wanted Tommy calm before they went to tell her and Lisa. As he looked across he saw tears silently running down the blonds face.

“Oh baby, come here.” He turned as best he could and pulled him into a hug. Tommy clung on as the sobs pulsated through his body. “Ssshh it’s ok, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere, I’m here for you.”

“Th…thank you. I’m sorry. I’ve never known me be so emotional before. It must be my wolf trying to protect me.”

“Hey you have nothing to be sorry for. Your wolf is going to be a great protector of everyone of us. As for that wolf who did this to you she’s the one who should be sorry.”

“She’s dead.”

“Yeah, Oli told me.”

“Oh!”

“We had a long conversation when he took me home and he answered a lot of things I wasn’t sure about.”

“You weren’t sure about me?”

“No baby, that was, is one thing I’m certain about. I want to be with you for as long as you want me. No, I had questions about…”

“Sex?” Tommy smiled for the first time since they’d been talking.

“Um…yeah.” Adam blushed.

“Oh wow, this has to be a first. Mr Adam Lambert blushing about sex.” Tommy giggled. “So were your questions answered?”

“Yeah they were. I also want you to know that now matter how long it takes for you to feel comfortable being with me in that way I will wait for you. Now I’ve found you again I’m not going to do anything to jeopardise our relationship.” Tommy went to say something but Adam placed a finger over the blonds lips. “One more thing baby. You should giggle more often, it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”

This time Tommy blushed. “I’ve not had much to giggle about recently.”

“I know, and I promise you I will do everything to change that.” He kissed him gently. “Now shall we go tell Dia and Lisa?”

“Yeah. There is one thing though.”

“Oh?”

“Could we leave your car here, I don’t want to…”

“Sure, anything you wish.” He kissed him again.

^V^

Dia and Lisa had been waiting patiently for Tommy to arrive. Dia alternating staring out of the window looking for him and pacing up and down.

“Mom, please come and sit down, looking for Tommy isn’t going to make him appear any quicker.”

“Should I ring Adam, tell him Tommy’s going to be here?”

“No mom, if Tommy wanted Adam here, he would have mentioned it. Maybe he’s already seen him and explained.”

“But what if he hasn’t, what if he’s here to tell us goodbye and he’s leaving LA for good.”

“We don’t know anything yet, let’s just wait for him to get here.”

“Yes sweetie, you’re right.”

Tommy stopped a few short yards from his mom’s gate.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m scared Adam, what if…”

“Hey, no what if’s, remember?” Tommy nodded. “Good, now are you ready?”

“Not really, but here goes.” He went to go through the gateway but Adam stopped him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, come here.” He held out his hand and smiled. Tommy returned the smile then held on to the strong hand.

“We’re in this together Tommy Joe.”

“Thank you, I love you so much.”

Adam smiled, “come on let’s go see your family.”

Dia was about to put the coffee on when her doorbell chimed. She froze looking from the door to her daughter.

“Well don’t just stand there mom, go answer it.”

With shaking hands and taking a deep breath Dia opened the door.

Tommy held his breath, he’d rung the bell and was gripping tightly onto Adam’s hand. If he was hurting his boyfriend, well he hadn’t mentioned it. He could feel his wolf trying to calm him down, but right now it wasn’t succeeding. He was pleased to feel the wolf but worried in case it made an unexpected appearance.

“It’s going to be fine baby.” Adam smiled at him.

“I know, I…” the door opened.

Dia and Tommy looked at one another, neither saying a word. Lisa had appeared behind her mother and Adam shook his head telling her to remain quiet. This was up to Tommy to decide the direction the conversation took.

Tommy tried to smile. “Hey mom.” Adam could feel the tension in Tommy’s hand.

“Oh Thomas, honey, where have you been?” She was crying as she pulled him into a hug.

“Mom…we need to talk.”

“Thomas you’re home that’s all I needed to know.”

“No mom. You have to understand something about me. I’m…”

“Dia, Lisa.” Adam needed to get them all inside. “Please, you have to hear Tommy out. Can we come in?”

“I’m sorry, of course. I just…well I’m just happy Thomas is back. How did you know he was going to be here?”

“I brought him.”

They moved inside, closing the door from prying eyes.

“How, when did he contact you?”

“Mom, please. Can we go sit down. There is a lot I have to tell you and I’d rather not do it standing in your hallway.”

“I’m sorry, forgive me. Of course we can go and sit down. Lisa honey, I’m sure Adam and Thomas would like a coffee.” Lisa disappeared whilst the others made themselves comfortable.

Dia sat next to her son whilst Adam made himself comfortable in one of the chairs.

“So Adam, you say you brought Thomas home? How, when…have you known all along where he’s been hiding?”

“No Dia, I haven’t. I only found him again last night.” He smiled at the blond.

“Then why didn’t you ring me. Tell me he was…”

“Mom please. Don’t blame Adam, I asked him not to say anything. I have so much to tell you I…well let’s just say you need to hear everything from me. Then you should decide whether…whether you still want me in your life.”

“You’re not making much sense sweetheart. What’s happened to make you say things like that?” She looked at her son, confusion on her face.

“Let’s wait for Lisa then I’ll explain everything.”

“Explain what Tommy?” Lisa was carrying a tray with four mugs of coffee.

“You’d better put that down first sis, then sit down. Oh and you both have to promise _not_ to interrupt me. Ok?”

“Why, what?”

“Please, Lisa.” He looked at Adam for help.

“He’s right Lisa, Dia, it is better if you don’t interrupt, but I’m sure when he’s finished explaining, you’ll both have questions.” Adam smiled at Tommy who mouthed a silent thank you.

“Ok, I’m listening.” Dia looked to Lisa. “Honey…”

“Ok I’m listening too, but…”

“No Lisa, no buts. Let me explain first then questions, accusations, and comments later. Ok?” Lisa and Dia nodded.

Tommy took a deep breath, moved away from the sofa then began. Adam felt so proud of his boyfriend, Tommy was crying again and all Adam wanted to do was go to him and hold him, but he knew that was not what the blond would want. He had to do it this way even though it was killing Adam just watching him.

Dia and Lisa were also now crying and Lisa had gone to sit on the sofa where the two women were now holding tightly to one another.

Tommy never faltered in his explanation, he brushed away the tears on several occasions. This was so much more difficult explaining it to his mom and sister than he ever thought possible. When he finally finished he went to Adam who gently pulled him down into a hug as he whispered “sshh it’s ok baby, you’re ok now I’ve got you.”

For several long minutes no-one spoke only quiet sobs and Adam’s hush could be heard.

Tommy clung on to his boyfriend. He’d been crazy to leave but he had his reasons and if it was to happen again, then he’d have no hesitation in doing the same all over. But it wasn’t going to happen, there was no going back to being human. And after everything that had happened and what was about to happen, Tommy realised there were advantages to being were, truthfully, he was happy. He had Adam back.

Tommy could feel his wolf calming him down and he began to relax in Adam’s arms.

Adam felt the tension in Tommy disappearing. “You ok Glitterbaby?” He kissed the side of his head.

“Mmm, I am now, thank you, and my wolf thanks you. He’s calming me down plus being in your arms also helps.”

“Good. Like I said, I’m here for you and your gorgeous wolf.”

Dia had stopped crying. “Oh Thomas, I’m so very sorry.”

“Why mom, why are you sorry?”

“Because, well because we couldn’t help you.”

“I had amazing people who did help me, I’m just sorry I did it in the way…”

“Oh honey, I understand why you thought you had to get away. I’m just so happy you’re back. Are you…where are you…?”

“Living?” She nodded. “I’ve gone back to my home. I’m still trying to get my head around stuff and Adam and I, well we’re taking it one day at a time.” He saw his mother smile. “Lisa, you’re not saying much, haven’t you got anything to say or ask?”

They all looked at her. “So you’re saying that every full moon you’re going to change into a wolf? What if you don’t want to, what if Adam doesn’t want you to?”

Tommy could understand her anger. After all he’d disappeared with no word of where he was going, he’d put everyone through hell and now he was back wanting acceptance. He knew it wasn’t going to be simple.

“Lisa, I don’t have a choice when it’s a full moon. What I do have is control to shift, so it’s not painful like it was the first time. I can shift at will and will shift to protect those I love. As for Adam…” he felt Adam squeeze his hand.

“As for me, I would never force Tommy to do anything against his will nor that of his wolf.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do to stop it happening at all? When you left I looked for every reason why you would disappear. Much to my horror being a…a…creature was one of them and I read somewhere that…”

“Lisa…” Tommy went over to her and knelt in front of her. “Lisa, someone once told me never to believe everything you read on the internet. No, there is nothing I can do to stop it happening. This is who I am now. I know that I love all of you and would never hurt any of you. I will protect you all, you’re all a part of my pack.”

“What the hell, are you saying we have to become werewolves so you can keep us safe?”

“No Lis, you’re my family and whether human or wolf, my wolf will class you as his pack.” He reached out to hold her hand but she pulled away. “Lisa why are you being like this, I’m still your brother, but with a bit extra.”

“And it’s that bit extra I’m scared about.”

Now he knew why she was being like this. He’d told them what had happened but they hadn’t see his wolf. He got up and went to sit in the middle of the room.

“Tommy, what are you doing?”

“Lisa, I’m going to show you who I really am.” He looked to Adam who smiled and nodded. “Whatever you do please don’t scream or run. My wolf will defend himself and I don’t want anyone hurt.” He watched as his mother and Lisa held tightly to each other.

He closed his eyes silently talking to his wolf who he could feel pushing his way forward. He felt his bones changing and the wolf finally showing himself to the two most important women in his life. Opening his eyes, he saw them crying again. He wished he could say something but all he could do was whimper. He looked across to Adam who was smiling through his own tears. The golden wolf went to sit next to the handsome man. Adam’s hand reached out and this time stroked the wolf who growled low and leant into the touch. He looked across to his mother and sister. They’d stopped crying so he slowly padded over to them.

Sitting in front of his girls he huffed, they jumped.

“It’s ok, he’s not going to hurt you. He’s showing you who he is and I think he’s the most beautiful wolf I’ve ever laid eyes upon. You can stroke him, he won’t hurt you.” Adam smiled at the wolf whimpered again. “It’s true Tommy Joe you’re so very beautiful.”

“Adam you’re talking to a wolf for goodness sake, he’s…”

“He understands what we’re saying Lisa. Don’t ask how, Oli couldn’t tell me, but Tommy will understand everything we say.”

“But he’s an animal.”

Tommy lay down, a sorrowful cry left his mouth as he put his head on his front paws.

“That’s enough Lisa! I think my son is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen. Thomas, Adam says you can understand us? Well understand this, I love you and wouldn’t want you to be anyone or anything other than my son. Your father would say the same if he was here. I know you haven’t had an easy time with this but know that I’m never going to stop you coming to see me. You’re my son and always will be, whether you appear on my doorstep in human form or this amazing wolf. My home is always open to you.” She reached out and stroked his head. “Lisa what about you?”

“I…how do I know he won’t suddenly…”

“Lisa, you heard what Adam said, wolves look out for their family, pack or whatever he called it, so no he’s not going to hurt you. Please Lisa, give him a chance.”

Lisa looked at each one of them then back to Tommy. “I’m sorry Tommy, it was a shock seeing you change on mom’s rug. Yes I’m scared, but if it’s as Adam says then I’m willing to give you a chance. I…I can’t promise anymore than that right now. I have Bridget to think about. But if it’s as you all say, then ok.” She very slowly put her hand out to stroke his head.

Tommy huffed then moved away.

“What did I say? Didn’t he understand?”

“Lisa he’ll have heard every word, just watch.” Adam smiled as he saw his man very slowly coming back to them.

“Hey Lis, all I’m asking is for you to try. As for my gorgeous niece, she’ll be safe. I won’t ever hurt her. I love her too much.” He went back to sit with Adam.

“I’m sorry T, but you do understand I…”

“Of course I understand. I’d be the same in your shoes.” He went to hug her. “I love you sis.”

“Would anyone like fresh coffee? These seem to have gone cold.”

Tommy laughed. “Thanks mom, but Adam and I should go, we have stuff to talk about and I’m sure you both need some time to come to terms with what’s happened here today.”

“You will come back and see me? I mean both of you. I take it you’re back together?” She smiled.

Adam got up to stand with Tommy their arms winding around each other. “Yes mom, well we’re sort of back together. We have a lot to talk about but we love each other and want to make this work. As for coming to see you, of course we will.”

“I’m so happy for you both.” She kissed their cheeks as they hugged her.

“Lis, what about you, can I come and see you and that feisty daughter of yours?”

“On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“No changing to wolf in front of Bridget. I don’t want her having nightmares.”

“I promise. But you have to promise me something too.”

“If I can.”

“You tell her about what happened to me. She’s old enough to understand and I wouldn’t be surprised if one or more of her school friends are were’s.”

“Oh!”

“You hadn’t thought about that, had you?”

“Um, no.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Good, thank you. So next time I come and see you don’t be too surprised if she asks to see my wolf. But I promise I won’t shift in front of her.”

“Ok.”

Tommy hugged her then his mom. “I love you both and I will never hurt you.” Wrapping his arm around Adam’s waist. “Thank you for being open minded, it means a lot. I’ll come and see you soon I promise.”

“And I’ll make sure he keeps that promise.” Adam kissed the side of Tommy’s head.

“Take care of each other and I’ll see you soon.” Dia smiled.

“Bye Tommy, be careful.”

“Always sis.”

The men left holding on to each other.

Back in the car Adam turned to Tommy. “You ok baby?”

“Yeah, I will be.”

“Do you want me to take you home?” Tommy hesitated. “What’s wrong Tommy Joe?”

“Would you take me to yours instead. I want to spend some time just with you.”

“Tommy that’s the best thing I’ve heard today. Of course you can come home with me. We could watch a movie if you want.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

^V^

They’d decided on Velvet Goldmine and Tommy was snuggled under Adam’s arm. He felt safe and relaxed. Looking up at Adam he smiled.

“What’s the smile for baby?”

“Oh I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. I really thought you’d hate me.”

“Never Tommy, not in a million years.”

Tommy moved up and kissed him. Adam’s arms pulling him closer. Tommy felt his heartbeat speed up. He’d missed this. Missed how Adam made him feel. He deepened the kiss, his hand moving up inside Adam’s shirt. A moan leaving the dark haired man’s mouth as Tommy’s gentle touch graced his nipple.

“Nngh baby, if you keep doing that I’m…”

“Ssh want to show you how I’ve missed you.” He lightly pinched the nipple causing a growl to leave Adam’s lips. “Hey I’m the wolf here, I do the growling.”

“Nngh Tommy, that feels so good and right now you’re bringing out my animal. If you don’t want me to take you right her then you’d better stop. I don’t want to…”

Tommy kissed him again, rubbing the now erect nipple and loving the sounds that were escaping their mouths.

Adam stopped the kiss.

“Have I done something wrong?” Tommy looked scared.

“Oh no baby, you’re doing everything right.”

“Then why?”

“I thought you wanted to take things slowly?”

“I didn’t realise how much I’d missed you and I want you so much. A man can change his mind, can’t he?”

“I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.” Tommy sat up and moved away from Adam. “What’s wrong?”

“Adam, I’ve been so selfish. I’m sorry I hurt you, all of you. I was only thinking about myself. I thought I could never be with you like this again. That’s why I left. I really thought you’d think I was disgusting and would never want to be with me again. I didn’t think humans and were’s could have that kind of relationship. Then, well then I met Ciara and Oli. They showed me what I could have, I just never thought it could be with you.”

“Come here.” Adam held his arms out. Tommy moved slowly into them. “I was a mess when you went. I thought I’d never see you again. I was willing to give up everything if it meant I’d find you. I love who you are, who you have become and I never want to lose you. I don’t care what people with say. You are my soulmate Tommy and one day we’ll have the relationship we both deserve. Until you’re ready I’m prepared to wait.”

“What if I don’t want to wait?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I’ve waited long enough, I want you to take me to bed.”

“Tommy are you sure or are you just saying that because it’s what you think I want to hear?”

“No Adam, I mean it. Please take me to bed, make love to me, I don’t want to wait any longer. I…”

Adam crushed his mouth against Tommy’s taking away whatever words the blond was going to utter.

This time it was Adam who was searching for skin. Tommy groaned at his touch but then stopped him. “No Adam, not on the sofa, in your bed…please.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more certain.”

Adam stood, pulling the blond up with him. “I love you Tommy Joe Ratliff.” As he led him up the stairs.

Adam watched as Tommy slowly undressed. His breath hitched at the beautiful pale body. He couldn’t believe this amazing man was his. He slowly moved towards him, his eyes never leaving the golden eyes of his lover.

“Don’t just stand there Adam, we can’t do anything with you fully clothed.” He winked.

“I’m just drinking in your beauty. I feel like the luckiest man alive.”

“No, I’m the lucky one. Now come on baby get naked!” Tommy kicked off his jeans and underwear then lay on the bed. He could see Adam’s reaction to him through the man’s jeans. As he watched Adam shed his clothes Tommy felt his blood rushing south. His dick twitched and his hand immediately went to touch.

“Oh no you don’t Tommy, that’s mine to sort out. Leave it alone, I’ll make sure it won’t be left out.”

Tommy groaned, he wanted release so badly but he’d always dreamed it would be Adam that would be the one to do it for him.

Adam, now naked, his own dick hard, climbed onto the bed straddling the blond. “I’ve wanted you for so long Tommy I can’t believe this is happening. Please tell me it’s not a dream?”

“No Babyboy, it’s not a dream. If it was then I’m having the same dream. Now shut up and kiss me.”

Adam didn’t need asking twice. Leaning down he kissed Tommy’s nipples sucking on them before kissing the gorgeous mouth. Tommy’s reaction to the nipping was a hand on his dick, but Adam batted it away. “Mine.” He growled.

The kiss deepened, Tommy pulling Adam down on top of him causing their erections to rub together.

“FUCK! So good.” Tommy’s back arched sending new sensations through Adam’s body.

“Nngh Tommy, want you.”

“Not stopping you.” He pulled him down for another deep kiss.

“Are you sure?”

“Stop asking silly questions and just get in me…please.”

Adam moved to get the lube out of his bedside drawer, Tommy never taking his eyes from him. Adam’s breath hitched as Tommy stroked him. “If you do that anymore I’m not going to last long enough to make love to you.”

“Then hurry up.”

“No baby, want this to be perfect. Don’t want to rush things.”

He reached down, searching for the tight muscle that was his lover. Tommy bending his knees giving easier access to his lovers’ fingers.

His breath caught in his throat as Adam’s finger found the entrance. God did that feel so good. Tommy gripped the duvet, eyes closed, mouth slightly open.

Adam smiled as he watched the pleasure on Tommy’s face. He was falling deeper in love with this man than he ever thought possible.

“More Adam, need more.”

He pulled out his finger, going back in with two.

“F.U.C.K! So good.” Tommy arched his back again. He could feel his wolf and it too was enjoying the sensations Adam was sending through his body.

Leaning down, Adam kissed Tommy as he added a third finger, stretching the petit man, not wanting to hurt him.

“Nnngh Adam please, enough with your fingers, want you inside me, want you to fill me with your love.” He opened his eyes and looked at his lover. “Please, no more waiting.”

Adam removed his hand wiping the lube onto his dick. He thought his heart was going to burst, he never thought he could be this happy. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Not going to, want all of you in me. Now!”

Adam kissed him as he lined his dick up. Pushing in slowly he heard Tommy gasp so he stopped.

“N…no don’t stop, feels good, want more.”

Adam smiled then pushed more, moans leaving both their mouths. They had waited so long for this.

One final push and Adam was fully seated inside his man, two had become one. He remained still wanting to savour the moment.

“Fuck Lambert, are you going to move or are we just going to stay like this.”

“Bossy.” Adam laughed but started moving. Slowly at first wanting to feel every new sensation that they were creating. As their breathing increased so Adam’s movements got faster. Tommy smiling when Adam looked at him. This was all he needed.

Tommy’s legs wrapped around Adam’s waist trying to pull him deeper inside him. He’d ache later but he didn’t care it would be a good ache.

Faster Adam thrust inside him, faster their breathing became.

“Not…not going to last much longer Adam, want to come, hurts, need to come.”

“Then come for me baby, want to see you fly.”

“Adam…I…aargh!” Tommy came, clenching around Adam. Warm sticky liquid spilling over his stomach and chest. That was all it took to tip him over the edge too.

“Shit baby!”

Tommy could feel warm liquid spilling inside him, he never wanted that to end.

Adam collapsed on top of the smaller man as his climax came to an end. He could feel himself sticking to his lover but he didn’t care. He was happier than he’d been for a long time. He went to pull out.

“Mmmm, don’t, not yet. Feels so good.” Tommy kissed him. His wolf hovering just below the surface, content. He started kissing Adam’s neck nuzzling into the scent of the man, the smell of sex in the air.

“Bite me.”

“Mmm.”

“Please Tommy, want you to claim me.”

“What?”

Adam pulled away just far enough to look into Tommy’s golden eyes. “I want you to claim me, want other were’s to know I’m yours.”

“You know there’s no going back. If I claim you we’re together for life.”

“I know baby, I want that, don’t you?”

“Yes but…”

“Tommy I’m not asking you to change me, just bite me, claim me, I don’t want anyone to take me away from you.”

“You have to be sure.”

“I am. Please.” He kissed him, his tongue asking for entry. Tommy obliged, opening up, their tongues dancing to the beat of their hearts.

Breaking apart Tommy smiled. “I love you.” Then sank his teeth into Adam’s neck. The sensation causing Adam to come again.

Tommy pulled away. “Wow, fuck, that was…” He’d felt Adam’s reaction, no-one had warned him about that, wow did it feel amazing.

“Mmm, if that’s going to happen every time, wow, I’m going to be asking you to bite me more.”

“No-one told me that would happen, I’m sorry.”

“Hey don’t be. Now I know what Oli meant when he said sex with a were was amazing.”

He slowly pulled out. Tommy felt empty.

“We should get cleaned up.”

“Mmm sleep first Adam.”

“Ok.”

Facing each other, arms and legs entangled, they fell asleep not caring they’d be messy when they woke.

 

Tbc


	10. Chapter 10

When Adam did wake he smiled to himself reaching out for Tommy, who wasn’t there. He sat up listening for movement but nothing. He looked around the room, Tommy’s clothes had gone. Falling back down on the bed he rubbed his eyes. _Why had they rushed things? Had he forced Tommy into staying? No, Tommy had wanted to stay. So where was he?_

Slowly Adam got out of bed, he needed to shower, their lovemaking results still present on his skin. Standing under a hot shower he closed his eyes. “Oh Tommy, please don’t let me lose you again.” Making sure all traces of the previous night had been removed, he dried himself and dressed quickly.

As he was making his way downstairs he smelled freshly brewed coffee. He smiled, _stop being stupid Lambert, Tommy is in the kitchen._ But when he shouted his name no reply was forthcoming.

“Tommy Joe are you anywhere in my home?” Still no reply. As he entered the kitchen, he saw a note in his lovers’ handwriting propped against two coffee mugs. Adam panicked the last time Tommy had left a note it was to tell them he was leaving. Had he had second thoughts and was now going through with his original plan.

Adam held the folded piece of paper in shaking hands. If the blond had really left this time Adam didn’t know what he would do. Unfolding it he read;

_Morning Babyboy, sorry I wasn’t there when you woke but my wolf needed to run. I’ve put coffee on and will be back before you know it. I love you. See you soon. Tommy Joe._

Adam released the breath he was holding. Feeling annoyed with himself for thinking Tommy would have disappeared again.

Taking one of the mugs he filled it, the smell of the strong liquid filling his nostrils.

“Aren’t you going to pour me one of those too, or do I have to help myself?”

Adam turned at the sound of Tommy’s voice. Putting his mug on the counter he went over to the smiling blond folding him into a hug.

“Hey Adam what’s wrong? Although I’ve always thought your hugs were amazing.” Adam was holding on tight. “Hey Babyboy look at me. What’s happened?”

Adam moved away slightly never breaking the contact he had, needed, with Tommy. “I woke and you weren’t there. I thought you’d had second thoughts about us and decided to leave. Then when I came in here and saw the note, I…well I thought you were telling me goodbye. I’m stupid I know, but I was scared to read it. I did read it and well, you’re back.”

“Adam I’m so sorry, I should have woken you to tell you but you looked so peaceful and my wolf needed to run. I promise I won’t do it again.”

“Tommy Joe I’m the one who should be sorry, I said we wouldn’t move our relationship on quickly and…”

Tommy placed a finger over Adam’s lips to stop him talking. “No Adam you didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do last night. In fact, if I remember, it was _me_ who asked _you_ to make love to me. So stop with your apologising, I wanted you last night and well, I want you every night.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes, now kiss me before I forget what it feels like, then I have something to tell you.”

Adam looked at him, concern on his face. “Is everything ok?”

“Just kiss me then I’ll tell you.”

Adam didn’t need asking again, he pulled the smaller man close and kissed him hard. Tommy moaned and returned the kiss with equal amounts of force.

Breaking apart Tommy smiled. “Now that’s how I like to begin my day.” Quickly kissing Adam before he could respond. “Now are you going to pour me one of those?” He pointed to the coffee machine, “Or do I have to do it myself?” He laughed.

“No baby I’ll pour it for you. After all you’re the guest here and I should be looking after you.” Adam handed him the steaming mug, noticing a beautiful but wicked grin on his boyfriends’ face. “I love to see you smile, but there’s something else going on. Are you going to tell me?”

Tommy took Adam’s hand, leading him through to the lounge. Sitting down he pulled Adam down with him, the look of curiosity on the singers’ face. Something that made Tommy smile even more.

“I’d better take that.” Tommy relieved Adam of his mug placing it with his own on the table. “I’d hate for you to spill it over you and your furniture.”

“Tommy, what’s going on?”

“You know I said my wolf wanted to run?” Adam nodded. “Well I wanted, no had some thinking to do.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be, I’m sorry I disappeared like that this morning. I promise in future to tell you, but if I hadn’t got things clear in my head then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out his toothbrush and placed it on the table.

“I don’t understand Tommy.”

“It’s simple Adam. You told me when we landed after New York to bring my toothbrush as you weren’t going to let me out of your bed for several days. So…I’ve brought it.” He grinned.

“Are you…does this mean?”

“Adam Mitchel Lambert, for someone who is a very talented man, you can be a bit thick sometimes. It means, if you still want me to, I want to stay _here_ with you, in your arms, in your bed.”

“What happened to slowly?”

“Fuck slowly. After last night I want more of all those sensations and, well I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“Tommy, I…”

Tommy went to stand. “It’s ok Adam, I understand. My wolf is a lot to come to terms with.” He picked up the toothbrush and was making his way to the door when Adam stopped him.

“If you’d let me finish, I was going to say I’d love for you to stay here with me. It’s what I’ve wanted for a very long time. As for your wolf. Yes there’s a lot to understand and get used to but if you’ll agree, if your wolf agrees, I want us to do it together.” He pulled him in for a hug. “There is one thing I don’t understand though.”

Tommy pulled away. “Oh, what’s that?”

“Where in hell’s name did you have that toothbrush when you were in wolf form?”

Tommy giggled. “Ah that. Well it appears the movies always get it wrong. When a human shifts to were they don’t shred their clothes. Don’t know why or how, even Ciara doesn’t know. But anyway, when we shift back we are fully clothed again. I’m surprised you didn’t realise when you saw me shift at moms. So, the toothbrush was in my back pocket. Everything we have in our pockets remains there. Cool isn’t it?”

“Oh wow, yeah cool.” Adam still had hold of him. “So Tommy are you going to stay or do you want to go home? Like I said yesterday, your pace Glitterbaby.”

Tommy pulled him close. “Oh Adam I want to stay. I realised this morning when I saw you sleeping next to me that this is what I want. I want to be with you for however long you want me.”

“Well after last night with you marking me, it tells me we are going to be together for a very long time.”

“That was pretty awesome wasn’t it?”

“Oh yeah and believe me when I say I want more. You and me baby, always.” He kissed him just as the doorbell rang.

“Fuck, whoever that is I’ll get rid of them, then we can have today to ourselves.”

“Don’t you have to be anywhere?”

“Only in bed with my boyfriend.” Adam winked as he opened the door.

“I’ve been trying to ring you.”

“Morning Neil. I’m fine thank you. How are you?” Adam loved his brother but now was not the time for him to come barging in.

“Sorry, morning. I’ve been trying to ring you, why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“Firstly it’s my day off and secondly it’s on silent, we didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“We? What do you…Oh!”

“Morning Neil.” Tommy poked his head around the lounge doorway.

“So I’m taking this as you’re back together?”

Tommy joined them wrapping his arm around Adam’s waist. “Yup”

“Oh boy!”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Adam didn’t like the tone Neil was using.

“It means, we now have to tell Ritchie…”

“No Neil, you don’t have to tell him anything just yet. I’m back with Adam but until everyone has heard my story, then I’m not going to be playing. Adam understands. If the others can’t accept a were as a band member, then I’m willing to step down and let Ritchie carry on. If they do accept me for who I am, then I’ll think about playing again, but it won’t be until after the LA concerts anyway. So, Ritchie’s job is fine for now.”

“Besides Neil, he knew it was only temporary until Tommy Joe came home.” Adam pulled the blond to him tightening his grip.

“Oh, ok. Right.”

“So dear brother, what do you deem so important that you’ve interrupted our day?”

“Michael has had a letter from our lawyers and he was on the phone to me first thing demanding a meeting.”

“Well go tell him no, not gonna happen and tell him to speak to the lawyers. I’ve had enough of him and his devious ways getting people to go above and beyond their contract. Tell him I’m through and he’ll get what’s coming to him for this tour but also tell him that if he continues to harass me, you or anyone from our family then my lawyer will take him to court quicker than he can say What d’ya want from me!” Adam and Tommy giggled.

“What if…”

“No Neil, no what ifs. He’s blown it with me. He wanted to replace Tommy Joe and well that is never going to happen. Now if you’ll excuse us we have some serious catching up to do.” He kissed Tommy gently.

“Oh boy! Too much information for my brain to cope with. I’ll speak to him.”

“Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse us…” Adam took Tommy’s hand leading him to the stairs.

“I…ah…yes…well I’ll see you tomorrow. Erm, right…bye.” Neil left as quickly as he’d appeared.

As they climbed the stairs. “What was all that about Michael?”

“Oh he just wanted me to play small venues during my two weeks off. He said an acoustic tour would further promote the album and he wanted me to do it without you. Said it wasn’t going to happen. Besides I’m going to a new label, one that lets me be who I am artistically, who also won’t tell me who I can or cannot have playing for me. As well as that their cut from sales etc are nowhere near as large as Michael. We think he was skimming more off the sales than he should have been, but we couldn’t really prove it. Anyway, he’s history.”

“Wow, all that and me being selfish and disappearing. I’m sorry Adam.”

They’d reached the bedroom. “Stop apologising Tommy, I fully understand why you did what you did. I think you’re a brave, wonderful man. If the same had happened to me I really couldn’t have come through it all like you have.”

“Thank you for believing in me.”

“I love you and your wolf. Now how about I show you how much.” He winked.

“Mmmm, thought you’d never ask.”

^V^

The sun was high in the sky, the pair were entangled with one another when Tommy sat up.

“Tommy are you ok?”

“Yeah, I have something to ask you.”

“Oh ok.”

“Have you got a sound check tomorrow? No that’s a stupid question, of course you have. Let me rephrase that, can I come with you to sound check tomorrow, it would be great seeing everyone and it would give me a chance to explain, give them all a chance to decide whether they want me back playing with them.”

“Of course they’ll want you back with us.”

“You don’t know that.” He turned to face him. “I have to tell them everything, give them a chance to decide.”

Adam reached for him pulling him down into a hug. “Ok, we’ll do it your way. I’m sorry for trying to make you do something different.”

“It’s ok. I understand how difficult all of this is for you.”

“As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy.” He kissed him. “Do you want to go out for a meal?”

“Would you mind if we got take out. I’m not ready yet to face the world. I don’t want to jeopardise your tour. I know if we go out, people will recognise us and ask questions and right now I’m not ready for all of that.”

“Not a problem.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent wrapped in each others arms. They finished watching Velvet Goldmine and Adam sat through a horror movie just because it was Tommy’s favourite.

Their evening was relaxed eating Taco’s and drinking coffee.

As they were heading back to bed. “I’m going to be gone when you wake up in the morning. I want to go home and change. It’ll be easier and quicker if my wolf has a run. Plus…” he hesitated.

“Plus what?”

“Please don’t think this is gross, but I have to hunt, your remember what Ciara said if I don’t? I caught a small rabbit this morning when I disappeared on you but it won’t be enough to…”

“Tommy, you don’t have to explain everything to me. I understand. And for the record, no I don’t think it’s gross. It’s natures way, plus I’d be angry if you didn’t go and hunt. I don’t want you getting ill.”

“Thank you that means so much to me.”

“Adam smiled, “now how about we go and get some sleep?”

“You do realise sleep is overrated!” Tommy grinned pulling Adam down onto the bed.

^V^

Adam felt Tommy get out of bed. “Mmm is it that time already?”

“Sshh go back to sleep. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve sorted myself out. If I go now there’s less chance my neighbours will see a wolf prowling around.”

“K baby, see you soon, love you.”

“Love you too.” Tommy smiled as Adam had gone back to sleep. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he’d been having Adam tell him he loved his wolf. Kissing him gently Tommy shifted and padded out. He really did need something to eat he was beginning to recognise the shaking he’d had at Ciara’s. Could Adam and the rest of the band cope having him disappear into the night to hunt?

Running through the trees he felt good. He had Adam back and both he and his wolf were content. He’d managed to catch two fairly large rabbits before he got back to his house. The difference they made were evident in his speed.

Shifting back he walked around his house. What was the good in keeping it if he was going to be living with Adam? He’d have to discuss it with the singer first before he made any firm decisions.

Showering and changing he sat on his bed, looking at the video Oli had sent him. He had to agree watching a were shift was an awesome sight.

He messaged his friend. **Hey Oli, sorry not been in touch sooner, Adam and I have been working things out and…well we’re back together. I’ve even kinda moved in with him. As for mom and my sister Lisa, mom is fine with everything but Lisa’s still a bit unsure. Afraid to say she’d been searching the internet as to what might have happened to me, and we all know what the internet’s like! Anyway I’m off to sound check with Adam ready for tonight’s concert. I’m going to explain everything to the band before I go back to playing with them. If they aren’t comfortable playing with a were then I’ve told Adam to keep Ritchie on. I’ll let you know how things go. Give Ciara a hug from me and speak soon. TJ**

He was just taking a last look around his room when his phone buzzed.

**_Hey Tommy, Ciara says hi and sends a hug back. We’re so happy for you and Adam, enjoy yourselves. Your mom sounds an awesome lady. As for Lisa, give her time, she’ll come around I’m sure of it. Good on your going to sound check. I think you’re doing the right thing but I’m sure everyone will be ok with you. Isaac thinks you’re cool. Take care of yourselves and speak soon. Oli._ **

Tommy smiled, pocketed his phone, shifted and headed back to his lover.

^V^

Adam was eagerly awaiting Tommy, he’d just spoken to Neil and everything with Michael had been sorted out. He was now going to be free to be himself again.

Tommy pawed at the sun room window. He couldn’t believe how relaxed he was at Adam seeing him shift. Of all the things, this was one of them that had been worrying him.

“Hey gorgeous, did you enjoy your run?” The wolf huffed, Adam laughed. “Did you remember to hunt? I don’t want you becoming ill. I promised Ciara and Oli I’d look after you.” The wolf lay down head on its front paws and huffed again. Adam giggled. “Neil’s just rung me.” The wolf put a paw over its snout. Adam giggled again. “Oh Tommy even as a wolf you’re sarcastic, and I love it. I was going to say everything has been sorted with Michael. Once this tour is over we never have to have anything more to do with him.” The wolf barked and then began shifting.

Adam was mesmerised by the change. “Wow!”

Tommy went to sit with him. “I’m so happy for you, Adam. You can finally make the music you want to make. Yes I enjoyed my run, it’s what my wolf needed and yes Adam I hunted and I’m fine. You sounded like my mom.” He giggled then kissed his boyfriend.

“I’m only looking out for you. I don’t want to see you ill.”

“You’re amazing Adam.”

“How so?”

“You don’t bat an eyelid talking about hunting, about me being _different_ now. I really wasn’t expecting any of this.”

“You are still Tommy Joe Ratliff, but with a bit extra. And no matter what, I love you.” He pulled him in for a kiss.

“Hadn’t we better go to the venue. They’ll be waiting to do sound check.”

“Are you ready to face them?”

“Yeah I am, as long as I’ve got you.”

^V^

They arrived at the same time as Neil and as they entered the stage door the security guard looked at Adam and Tommy and backed away.

They all noticed but no-one said a word until they were safely in the auditorium.

“Please can someone explain to me what all that was with the security guard?” Neil looked from Adam to Tommy.

Adam smiled. “I’ll let Tommy explain.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand.

Tommy gave a brief explanation of marking and how other were’s would know Adam belonged to him.

“So you’re saying the security guy is were and he can smell Tommy on Adam?” Both men nodded. “So let me get this straight, you…” he pointed to Adam. “…belong to him.” He pointed to Tommy.

“Yep and vice versa, Tommy Joe is all mine.”

“And this is all through him biting you?”

“Yep and oh the sex was amazing!” Adam winked at Tommy.

“Nope, no, too much information.” Neil shuddered. “But answer me one thing…”

“If we can.” Tommy smiled.

“How long does that marking last?”

“Oh, forever little brother. I’m his always and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He pulled Tommy to him, kissing the side of his head.

“So at next full moon you’re gonna be a werewolf?” Neil looked shocked.

“No Neil, Adam will only become a werewolf if I bite deeper and purposely leave saliva in the wound, oh and by all accounts if that happens when we’re having…”

“Nope, there you go again, too much information.” He shook his head. “So Adam, are you saying you’re going to get Tommy to change you?”

Adam hadn’t really thought about that but now Neil had mentioned it…well it was worth thinking about.

Tommy answered before Adam had a chance. “No Neil, I’m not going to change him. It’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s painful the first time, and will be until you have control over your wolf. Yes were’s aging process is slower so I’m going to live longer than humans. But I’m not going to change Adam just for my own selfishness of wanting him for a long time. It would have to be his decision _and_ he’d have to talk to Ciara and Oli about it. Me, I’m happy that he’s marked and no-one will take him away from me.”

“Wow, I didn’t realise any of that. It’s certainly different to the movies.” Both Adam and Tommy groaned. “What? Now what have I said?”

“Little brother, don’t believe everything you see on the television, the movies or the internet.”

They were interrupted further in their discussion by the arrival of Ashley, Ritchie, Isaac and Sophie. They all cheered when they saw him and in turn hugged him.

“So Tommy are you back to play with us?”

Tommy smiled and looked to Ritchie when he answered. “No Miss D, not yet. Ritchie is doing a brilliant job, so the remainder of the LA concerts are his.”

“Wow thanks TJ.”

“My pleasure.”

“So are you coming back…ever?”

“I need you all to listen first before I make my mind up. If after I’ve told you everything you don’t feel as though you could work with me, then I’m prepared to hand over the reins to Ritchie, permanently. Adam knows this, we discussed it last night. And before any of you ask, yes we’re back together.” A cheer went up from everyone as Tommy kissed Adam.

“Ok TJ, so tell us what you think will have us deciding we’d rather not work with you.”

“Carpenter, you know most of it, but you all have to promise me not to interrupt. Questions etc at the end. Ok?” Everyone nodded.

Tommy told them everything from the night he was attacked, to living with Ciara and Oli. He explained the attack on Isaac was a set up to get Adam to see him. He told them that if they did allow him back he’d have to hunt. He finished off explaining how he’d marked Adam and no other were would take him from Tommy. Everyone was quiet when he’d finished. Six pairs of eyes all watching him. “Ok, do I take this silence as you not wanting to work with me? Because if that’s the case then I’ll leave now, no questions asked.”

Ashley was the first to speak. “Oh Tommy, I’m so sorry that all this happened to you and I do understand why you left. But…”

“But you can’t work with a were in case…”

“No Tommy!” She went up to him and kissed him. “What I was going to say was…you’re still _our_ Tommy Joe Ratliff, Adam’s Glitterbaby and our Pretty Kitty. We couldn’t imagine not working with you. No disrespect Ritchie you’re amazing, but TJ is…well Glamily.” She hugged him, tears running down her face.

“Erm Miss D, you got one thing wrong there.” He smiled.

“Oh! What?”

“M’not a pretty kitty, more of a damp dog.” He laughed as everyone else joined in.

“I just want my friend back.” Isaac squeezed his shoulder.

Ritchie approached him. “Tommy, as much as I’ve loved playing with this amazing bunch of people, this is your family, Glamily or whatever they’re called, and you belong with them. I’m more than happy to finish the LA leg, but then you should go back to where you belong. Up on stage with this awesome group of people.” He shook hands with the blond then succumbed and pulled him in for a hug.

As everyone was talking Adam pulled him aside. “Will you come back and play baby?”

“Yeah, I will.” He smiled.

“Thank you. I love you Tommy Joe Ratliff.”

“And I love you Adam Mitchel Lambert.” He kissed him to cheers from everyone.

“Ok, we’d better get on with the sound check.” Adam started to move away but was stopped by Isaac.

“Erm, before we do, I erm, wow, Soph help me out here.” He held out his hand for his wife to take.

“What my husband is trying to say is we’re pregnant.” Loud cheers filled the room.

“Two reasons to celebrate.” As Adam kissed first Sophie then shook hands with Isaac. All the while thoughts of changing going around in his mind.

^V^

Sound check went well, Tommy was even persuaded to play a couple of songs. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed playing with his friends.

“Tommy you’re amazing I wish I could play as good as you.”

“Ritchie you’re a fantastic musician so please don’t ever put yourself down. I’ve been playing for Adam for a long time so it’s kinda second nature for me now. You’ll find that when you’ve been playing with the same people for a while. You won’t have to think about it so much. I’m so happy that you agreed to step in. I’m sure once the concerts are finished you’ll have people lining up wanting you to play for them.”

“Thanks TJ that means a great deal to me.” He shook hands with the blond.

“If you’ll excuse me, I should go find Adam, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah, see you later Tommy.” Ritchie watched as his friend went in search of his boyfriend. An idea coming to mind as he put away his guitar.

Tommy found Adam in the parking lot on his phone. Not wanting to disturb what looked like an intense conversation he hung back. He could have easily listened to what Adam was talking about, his senses heightened since he became a were, but he had more respect than that. He understood Adam enough that he wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to know his private business.

Adam turned and spotted Tommy waiting by the stage door. He smiled indicating he’d be a couple of minutes on his call.

As he wandered over to the blond he was ending his call. “Thanks, I’ll see you then. No not a problem. Bye.” Pocketing his phone he pulled Tommy in for a hug. “Hey baby is everything ok?”

“Couldn’t be better. I just didn’t want to disturb your conversation.”

“You never disturb me. I’m sorry I disappeared. I had to make a business call, I didn’t want to bore anyone so I came out here. Besides I could see how much fun you and Ritchie were having.”

“Yeah, it was fun. I…well I didn’t realise how much I’d missed playing with everyone.”

“Does this mean you’ll play whilst we’re in LA?”

“No Adam, I promised Ritchie these concerts were his and I’m not going back on my promise.” He kissed Adam gently.

“That’s another reason I love you. You always think of others before yourself.” He kissed him back, holding him tightly.

“How about we grab something to eat before your concert tonight?”

“Oh Tommy I’d love to but that call, I’m sorry it’s important that I meet with a rep from my new label. They…”

“Hey you don’t have to explain. I totally understand. Besides I should let my wolf run. He’s going to have to hunt too before your concert. I don’t want him making an unexpected appearance on the side of the stage. The crowd wouldn’t appreciate that.”

“You’re amazing Tommy Joe. Ok, let’s make a deal. You go run and hunt and I’ll go to my meeting, then let’s meet up an hour before the show and grab take out. That’s if you’ll still want to eat after hunting?”

“Of course I will. They’re two separate things, besides you know me and food.” He smiled.

“I don’t know where you put it Tommy, I wish I could eat as much as you and still remain slim.”

“Hey, you’re beautiful as you are. I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Thank you.” He kissed him harder this time causing the blond to moan.

“Nnngh if you keep doing that Lambert, neither of us will get to do what we have to before tonight. I’ll end up taking you home and having my wicked way with you.” He ground his hips against Adam’s, both feeling the start of their arousal.

“Mmm, keep that thought baby, I’ll try and be quick at my meeting.”

“Yes please.”

“I should go, I said I’d be there in an hour, well 45 minutes now.”

“Go, I’ll be waiting at home for you.” Tommy kissed him then disappeared into the trees at the back of the venue.

Adam watched then got in his car heading for his meeting.

^V^

Tommy was waiting for Adam, he was pacing the lounge when the singer bounded through the door.

“Tommy, what’s wrong?”

“Hi, I’ve just had a call from Ritchie.”

“Oh, is there something wrong?”

“You could say that.”

“Well are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?”

“What? Sorry, he’s had an accident.”

“Fuck, he’s not seriously hurt is he?”

“No thank goodness. He was cooking dinner for his wife and the knife he was using slipped and he’s badly cut his finger. Five stitches, which means he can’t play tonight.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I know. What are you going to do?”

“Firstly I’m going to ring him, make sure he’s ok, then we’ll sort out the problem of a guitarist.”

“K”

Adam dialled Ritchie’s number, “Hey it’s Adam…yeah Tommy’s just told me…I…oh I see…yeah I understand…no I won’t…yeah he’s here…that’s right…yeah we’re both worried about you…no don’t worry I won’t…no that’s not a problem…yeah we will…look come and see us backstage…yeah we’ll be fine…no I can see you’re right…no worries, take care of yourself…bye.”

“How is he?”

“He said he’ll be fine, it’s not as deep as he thought it was so he’ll be back playing again soon.”

“What are we…you going to do about tonight?”

“You could play.”

“What? No! I’m rusty, I haven’t…not since New York.”

Adam pulled him close. “I heard you this morning, you’re amazing Tommy, you picked up that guitar and played like it was only yesterday since you’d played with us. I could see the joy in your eyes as you went from one song to the next. You were born to be my guitarist, please baby play for me tonight?” He kissed him. “I know you’d be great.”

“I don’t know Adam. What if I mess things up?”

“Then you mess things up, but I know you won’t. I don’t care what happens. I’d just be happy to have you at my side again. Please baby just think about it.”

“What if your fans…”

“They’ll be pleased to see you. I’ve had so many tweets and messages from them saying how much they’ve missed you. I’m certain they’ll love having you up there with us where you belong.”

“I…I need to run. I’m sorry Adam I’ll be back soon.” He moved away from him, shifted then bounded out the sun room doors. Adam watching hoping he’d be back.

Tommy ran, he found himself at the clearing Ciara had taken him to. Shifting back he sat on the large rock overlooking the lake. He was deep in his own thoughts so didn’t hear Ciara approach until she sat next to him.

“Hi Tommy, penny for them?”

“Ciara, how did you…Adam!”

“Please don’t be mad at him, he was worried about you, he asked if I knew where you could have gone. Told him I’d look for you, but I knew you’d come here. It’s so peaceful and a good place to think.”

“Did he tell you what happened?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“I don’t know what to do. If I play I may make a complete fool of myself. If I don’t play then he’s going to have to use backing tracks and that’s one thing Adam hates doing at a live concert. He’s always used live music. Says backing tracks have no soul. Fuck! What am I going to do?”

“Only you can decide that Tommy. Although he also told me you played with them this morning and that you were awesome.” She smiled.

“Yeah I did and I must admit I enjoyed myself.”

“So what’s stopping you playing tonight?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of the fans not accepting me back.”

“Stop that. It’s not what the fans think it’s what Adam and the rest of the band think. By all accounts they’ve welcomed you back and want you playing with them.”

“Yeah they do. I have missed them.”

“There you go.”

“Thank you Ciara.”

“For what?”

“Coming to my rescue again.”

“You’re a part of my pack and I’m always there for you.” She hugged him. “Now go. Adam will be worried about you. Go tell him you’re going to play tonight and every other concert after this too.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Of course you will. Now go!” She hugged him quickly, shifted then waited for Tommy to shift, then watched as he headed back home.

^V^

Adam had just got off the phone to Isaac when he saw the beautiful golden wolf in his garden. He went out to meet it, sitting on the lounger as he waited for Tommy to come back to him. He’d never get bored seeing the transformation.

Tommy sat at the side of the lounger watching Adam, seeing sadness in the singers’ eyes. He pushed his wolf back knowing he was there to protect him when he needed him. “Hey Babyboy, I’m sorry.”

“Tommy you never have to apologise. I shouldn’t have asked you to play.”

“Sshh,” Tommy placed a finger over Adam’s lips to stop him talking. “I shouldn’t have run off like that. Thank you for ringing Ciara, we had a long talk. I…I was, am scared. I haven’t been there for you and I don’t know what the fans will think. I know you said they were with you when I disappeared. I, well I hope they’ll understand now I’m back.”

“Does this mean you’ll play tonight?” Tommy nodded. “Oh baby that’s the best news I’ve heard since you came back into my life. I know you’re scared but we’ll all be there for you.” He pulled him in for a hug.

An hour later they were all at the venue. Isaac and Ashley grinning because their friend was back where he belonged.

Tommy was warming his fingers up when there was a knock on his dressing room door. “Come in.” He looked up to see Ritchie in the doorway. “Hey man, how’re you doing I’m sor…”

Ritchie held up his hands, no bandages.

“I don’t understand Rich, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry TJ, please don’t be mad at me. I had to do something to get you back playing. I saw how much you enjoyed it this morning and I knew the longer you left it, the more likely it would have been that you’d never have played with this amazing crew again. I’m sorry I deceived you but it was all I could think of doing.” Tommy was silent. “Please TJ, shout at me, growl at me, tell me to fuck off, but just please say something.”

“Thank you.”

“Wow, that’s not what I was expecting.”

“I mean it Rich, it’s the push I needed. You’re right, I _was_ making excuses not to come back and play. The simple reason, I was scared. Scared I wouldn’t be able to do it, scared that no-one would want me back as a were. But I had a long talk with a good friend and she showed me I had to believe in myself again. You helped with that so thank you.” He put down his guitar and hugged his friend. “Are you staying for the concert?”

“Yes, I brought my wife, we’re going to enjoy it.”

“Great, we’ll see you for drinks afterwards?”

“Sure, see you later.” He disappeared, passing Adam as he left.

“Hey Glitterbaby, is everything ok?”

“You knew Ritchie hadn’t hurt himself didn’t you?”

“Yeah, m’sorry, we just…”

Tommy crushed his mouth to Adam’s taking the remainder of the sentence away. “Thank you. It’s just what I needed. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Now how about we go give them a party they’ll never forget?” He smiled as he picked up his guitar, took Adam’s hand as they headed for the stage.

^V^

The concert was electric, the fans cheered when Tommy appeared on stage. Chants of Tommy Joe filled the auditorium and the crowd clapped and screamed when Adam kissed him in Fever, just as he’d done during the Glamnation tour.

The crowd at the stage door were still hyper when Adam and Tommy left hand in hand. They wished the pair every luck in the world and said how happy they were for them.

The after party at Adam’s home continued with a buzz. Tommy hadn’t stopped smiling since setting foot on stage. He knew now that being with Adam and being on stage again was his happy place. The only thing that had him feeling slightly sad was the thought of Adam growing older quicker than Tommy and his wolf. But he would never say anything to Adam about it. He’d just be happy for as long as he had Adam in his life.

A week after their final LA concert the pair were lying in bed, sated after a morning of hot lovemaking when Adam turned to look at his gorgeous man.

“What? Have I got something on my face?”

“No sweetheart, you’re just beautiful.”

“Then what is it? I know that look Mr Lambert, there’s something on your mind.”

Adam stroked Tommy’s face feeling the coarseness of the morning’s stubble on his chin. “I want you to listen to me and promise not to interrupt. Can you do that?”

“Adam, what…I…”

“Please baby, will you listen?”

“You’re scaring me. Have I done something…”

“Oh no my love, you’ve not done anything wrong. On the contrary you keep doing everything so right. I just…well I have something to say, ask, but you have to hear me out. Can you do that…please?” Tommy nodded then held tightly to Adam’s hand.

Adam took a deep breath. “I love you so very much Tommy Joe and when you left I thought my life had ended. In fact I wanted my life _to end_ as I didn’t think I could live a day without you. I was grateful to everyone around me who helped me but I was on autopilot all the while you were gone. Then when you came back into my life I couldn’t believe how lucky I was at getting a second chance at being with you, at loving you. I know things haven’t been easy and I understand why you did what you did, but I never want to be without you again. I know that were’s age differently to humans and the thought of me being…well leaving you is scaring the hell out of me. I’ve done a great deal of thinking this last couple of weeks and I’ve done a lot of talking too.” Tommy looked at him, confusion on his face. “I can see a million questions rolling around in your head. I’m sorry I’ve not spoken to you about it but I had to find out for myself, I had to talk to people that know. I needed answers to questions that I knew you’d not want to or probably be unable to answer. You remember a few weeks back I said I had the meeting with my new label?” Tommy nodded. “Well please don’t be angry, but it wasn’t the label I met with it was Oliver.”

“Adam what…”

“No baby listen…please.”

“Ok.”

“Thank you.” He pulled him close, but still looked into his golden eyes. “Neil got me thinking when he asked if you’d made me were when you marked me. I know I’m yours and no other were will come near me. But I want to make it permanent.”

“Marking is permanent.”

“I understand that. What I’m saying is I want you to make me were.”

Tommy tried to pull away. “No Adam, I won’t do that, you’d be in a lot of pain until you learned how to control your wolf. I can’t bear to see you like that. It wouldn’t be fair on you.”

“Tommy, listen, please. I understand it’s going to be painful. I’ve spoken to Oli and Ciara, and no don’t be mad at them, they’ve helped me understand. I haven’t gone into this lightly I know what I want and I want to be able to run with you, be with you for a very long time. I want you to be the one to change me. If you do this my life will be complete.”

“What about your family?”

“I’ve spoken to mom and dad and they’ve said whatever I decided they’ll stand by me, by _us_ ”

“What about Neil?”

“Neil has his own family. He’s still going to be the same snarky brother he’s always been but I don’t need his permission to live my life how _I_ want to live it. And I want that to be with you at your side as your husband as your mate.”

“Whoa hang on, back up a minute. Husband?”

Adam smiled. “Yeah I…will you marry me Tommy Joe Ratliff?”

Tommy grinned his eyes sparkling. “Yes Adam, I’ll marry you.” He kissed him hard.

“Will you at least think about changing me too?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.”

Tommy pulled his lover close. Part of him wanted to have Adam by his side for a long time but part of him was scared.

^V^

Tommy was on the phone when Adam arrived home from shooting his new video for his latest single. Not wanting to eavesdrop he went to put the coffee on.

Tommy joined him once he’d finished his call, a smile lighting up his face.

“Everything ok baby?” Adam asked as his arms snaked around his boyfriend.

“Yeah, everything is great. I was on the phone to Ciara.”

“Oh…and…no, sorry you don’t have to tell me what you talk about it’s your business.”

“But it was to do with you.” He kissed him.

“Oh!”

“I wanted to know about changing you. What to expect. How bad it would be for you.”

“I see and was she able to help?”

“Yeah she did. She also told me that she’s finally changed Oli and she’s helping him learn how to control his wolf. She says he’s a gorgeous black and brown wolf and he’s a fast learner. I expect it’s because of all the help he’s given others.”

“Tommy baby, you’re digressing, what did she say about changing me?”

“Oh yeah, sorry. She said it’s a full moon in a couple of weeks time and we should…you know do it before then. You should have the full moon for your first shift. I’m not gonna lie, it will be as painful as hell but you need the moon to…”

“Let’s do it.”

“Adam, I haven’t said I would.”

“But it seems as though you’ve been thinking about it.”

“Yes I have, I just, well I don’t like the thought of you being in pain.”

Adam held on tight. “I want this Tommy. I want what you have. I want you. I want to be with you, make love with you in both forms. We’re a part of each other and I want the world to know you’re mine and I’m yours.” He looked into his lovers’ eyes. “Please baby, say yes.”

Tommy stared at him, he’d wanted Adam for a very long time and if he did this he’d have him for a long time to come.

“Ok, I’ll do it, but you have to know it’s gonna hurt.”

“Thank you baby. If you’re with me I don’t mind the pain.

“We have about ten days to organise everything which means we should start in the morning.”

“I’ll let you into a secret. I’ve been organising our wedding since you said yes. How about on our wedding night you change me. That would be the best present ever.”

“Adam Mitchel Lambert, that would be my honour.”

^V^

 

**Epilogue**

The day finally arrived. Tommy and Adam had worked frantically getting everyone and everything in order for their wedding. Leila and Eber had been the first to give the boys their blessing. Dia had cried when Tommy had told her he was marrying Adam. Lisa had wished them luck but wasn’t really ok with Adam becoming were. They’d decided to tell everyone what they were doing, they didn’t want their families and friends to think Tommy had done anything against Adam’s will.

Adam was in his bedroom with Neil. He’d asked his brother to be his best man. Neil was now trying to tie Adam’s bow tie, but Adam was nervously bouncing on his heels.

“Will you stand still?”

“What if Tommy’s changed his mind?”

“He won’t, he loves you.”

“But…”

“Adam, he’s not going to change his mind.” Neil pushed him down on the bed making him sit still whilst he tied the bow.

Tommy was pacing up and down in a guest room.

“For heaven’s sake TJ calm down.”

“What if Adam’s changed his mind?”

“Fuck TJ he won’t, he loves you too much.”

“I…”

“Stop overthinking, everything will be fine.”

There was a knock at the door. “Come in, we’re decent.”

Sophie poked her head around the door, laughing. “I’ve seen everything before so wouldn’t have bothered me if you weren’t decent.” They all laughed. “But I’m here to tell you that we’re ready for you. Adam’s waiting in the garden.” She smiled at them.

“Ok Ratliff, you ready?”

“Yep.” He took a deep breath, this was really happening. He’d only ever dreamed of being married.

All three headed downstairs. Tommy’s breath hitched when he saw his beautiful man waiting for him. He had to take more deep breaths, he’d always loved seeing Adam in a Tuxedo and he could feel his blood supply heading south. Not what the guests needed to see.

Adam smiled at his lover as he made his way to him. Tommy was the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen and couldn’t wait to be his.

The ceremony went by in a blur, the two men not taking their eyes from one another, answering the ministers questions and saying their vows in the right places. They exchanged rings to cheers from all their friends and family.

“I know pronounce you married. You may kiss…”

Tommy and Adam didn’t need telling, the blond pulled his husband close kissing him hard. The cheers from everyone getting louder the longer they kissed.

Breaking apart they smiled and joined everyone for celebratory drinks and food.

The sun had begun to set when Adam found his husband talking to Ciara and Oli. Taking his hand he pulled him towards him. “Sorry to interrupt your conversation but I’d like to take my husband away.” Their friends smiled.

Once they were alone, “Let’s leave everyone to party, I want you to take me to bed.”

“Nnngh yes please.”

They sought out Leila and told her to make sure everyone was looked after and told her they’d see them all later. She smiled watching as they disappeared into the house.

Tommy never took his eyes from Adam as they discarded their clothes. He couldn’t believe how lucky he’d become. He watched as Adam climbed onto the bed, arms outstretched waiting for Tommy to join him. Tommy crawled on beside him.

“Hey husband.”

“Hey yourself. I love the sound of that Adam.”

“I never thought I’d ever get the chance to be married.”

“Well we are and I love the thought of being with you always.”

“Make love to me Tommy.”

“But I always thought you…”

“Not always and I want this time to be special, I want you in me when you change me.”

“Are you still sure that’s what you want?”

“I’ve never been more certain. Please baby make me yours.”

Tommy leant across and kissed him, feeling strong arms pulling him on top. He straddled him, their naked bodies feeling so good next to one another.

Adam rubbed a hand down Tommy’s back causing the blond to shudder, sending sparks between them. Tommy gently lowered himself onto Adam, their dicks rubbing against each other, friction heating them up as they moved gently.

Adam reached down taking Tommy’s arse in his hands, pulling him closer, the sensations sending impulses to his brain telling him he needed more.

“Need you in me Tommy.”

“Nnngh need lube.”

“Top drawer.” Adam’s breathing was getting faster.

Tommy never breaking body contact reached for the drawer taking the lube and expertly flipped the lid applying some to his hand without looking.

Adam smiled, parting his legs so the blond could find the tight muscle he so longed to enter. A guttural sound escaped Adam’s mouth as Tommy inserted a finger.

“Fuck, so tight, so good Babyboy.”

“Nnngh don’t stop, want more.” Adam arched his back as Tommy pulled his finger out then went back in with two.

“Not going to be able to hang on. Need you in me, please baby want to come.”

“Ssh soon, will make you feel so good.” He removed his fingers stretching Adam as he did. His own orgasm wanting to hit. He wiped his lubed fingers on his hot, hard dick watching as Adam’s length pulsated, eager for contact.

Adam opened his eyes to look at his lover. “Please Tommy want you now, need you in me, bite me, take me.”

Tommy leant down kissing him as he directed his dick to Adam’s entrance.

Slowly pushing in he stopped, watching as Adam’s hand sought his dick.

“That’s it baby, stroke yourself, want to see you lose control, want you to come for me.” Tommy pushed further in until he was fully seated.

“Shit Tommy need you to move…please.”

“Soon, want you to come first.” Tommy knew that seeing Adam come would send him over the edge, but he wanted Adam to experience the sensations of coming again when Tommy bit him.

The blond watched as Adam’s hand moved quickly up and down his length. The blonds self control starting to waiver at the sight and sounds Adam was making. He didn’t have to wait too long, Adam came screaming Tommy’s name.

That was enough for Tommy to start moving as Adam clenched around his dick. Tommy leant down kissing his lover hard before nipping his way down to the juncture of his neck where he would bite him.

“Nnngh please Tommy bite me, make me yours.”

“Soon, need to come, gonna…nngh…fuck…” Tommy came, at the same time he bit Adam’s neck causing the singer to shout Tommy’s name again and spill his seed between them.

Their orgasms, shuddering through them, a never ending sensation. Tommy hadn’t realised it would be so powerful, Adam saying Tommy’s name over and over until both were empty and Tommy had collapsed on top of Adam.

It was several minutes before either could speak.

“Fuck Tommy you could have warned me about that. Shit, I’ve never felt anything so intense.”

“Nngh me neither. No-one warned me how that was going to feel. Fuck. Are you ok?”

“Oh yeah, never felt better. If that’s what sex is going to be like from now on, I’ll be a very happy wolf.” Adam winked.

“No regrets?” Tommy stared at the bite, his saliva healing the wound already.

“Definitely not. How…how long before…”

“Full moon’s in two days but…”

“But what baby?”

“Your neck, where I bit you, it’s…well it’s healing already.”

“Does that mean…?”

“I expect so.” Tommy smiled.

“I love you Tommy Joe Ratliff.”

“I love you too Adam, and I can’t wait to see your beautiful wolf.” He kissed him as the gently pulled out. Both men happy with who they were.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. For now it's the last Adommy one I'll be posting, that's not to say sometime in the future I'll write more. But I'm currently writing the first draft of an original story that's been bouncing around in my head for a while.
> 
> Enjoy the remainder of this story and thank you to everyone who have commented and left kudos on all of my stories. I will be back with more.


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